Our first what -if question is from Panda-Chan 21: What if Sasuke said 'Hi' to Sakura during the first season?


"Hi Sasuke-kun! How are you? I'm gre-"

" . . . Hi, Sakura" Sasuke said, forcing a smile.

" Oh my God!! Sasuke actually spoke to me!!!Without an insult!!" XD

"Hello, there." (Kakashi)

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!!! YOU'RE LATE!!! AGAIN!!!" (Naruto)

"I got lost on the path of life . . . "(Kakashi)

" oh my goodness. . . . I've got to tell Ino . . . " Sakura said to herself & slowly walked to Ino's campsite.

"Hey, Sakura-san, where are you going?" Naruto yelled.

"Oh, come on! You can't be mad at me for being late again, can you? Sakura? SAKURA? SAKURA?!!! Yep, she's mad at me." T.T

"I don't think she's leaving because you're late," Naruto stated.

"Then why did she leave?" Kakashi asked, curiousity clearly in his voice.

"Well, Sasuke said 'Hi' to her."

" . . . No, seriously, Naruto. Why did she leave?"

"What? I can't say 'Hi' to a teammate once in a while?"

"You can, it's just that . . " (Kakashi)

"That Sakura has been vice president of your fan club for 6 years now." (Naruto)

"Who's the president?" (Kakashi)

"Ino Yamanaka." (Naruto)

"Which is why I don't talk to her."

"But, Sasuke , that's worse than saying 'Hi' to Ino!" (Naruto)

"Just you wait & see. You're life will become helll in a matter of minutes." (Kakashi)

"Come on, this is Sakura we're talking about. What's the worst a shy, innocent, sweet girl can do?"

"If you choose not to believe us, that's your choice. But it'll be your funeral." (Kakasshi)

. . . . . . . .15 MINUTES LATER . . . . . . . .

What . . . have I . . . DONE? Sasuke asked himself as he tried to find his way through a mob of angry & depressed fangirls.

"T-shirts! Get your 'SasuSaku 4-ever' (A/N: SasuSaku . . . is . . . evil! Cute . . . . but evil. . . ) shirts right here! Only 1,000 yen (A/N: which is pretty cheap if you think about)!!" called out a rather strange (and homely) looking man.

Sasuke ran over to & picked a shirt. On the black shirt he picked up was a picture of Sasuke pinning a breast-inhanced Sakura to a tree for a kiss. (A/N: if you actually want to see it, go to and search up 'Naruto Midnight Lust'. It's usually the first one to pop up.) "What the-"

" HEY!" Sakura screamed & grabbed the hobo selling the shirts. "My Sasuke-kun looks flat-chested in this picture!!!"

And Sakura's boobs are WAY too big, Sasuke thought with a smirk.

"I order you to fix it before I FIRE you!!!" (A/N: Immature Sakura SCARES me!!!!)

"NO!! Please, I have a wife & kids to support!!"

"Then fix it! NOW!!!!"

"Yes, Ma'am! Right awy Ma'am!" And with that, the dirty old hobo grabbed the shirt Sasuke was holding, put it on his cart, & sped away in some direction. That's when Sakura noticed Sasuke standing there, a bewildered look on his twitching face.

"Oh, hi, Sasuke-kun! Isn't this great? I'm so glad that so many people care!"

"What . . . did . . . you . . . do?" Sasuke demanded, voice shaking with anger.

"Oh, nothing much, I jus-"

"LOOK!! There's Sakura! And she's with Sasuke! LET'S GET HER!!!" a fangirl screamed, pointing at Sakura.

"OMG!!!" Sakura yelled, grabbing hold of Sasuke's hand, & started running at a speed of 90 m/hr ( a new record;).

CAUTION: RAGING FANGIRLS AHEAD!!

With rabid fangirls practically nipping at their heels, Sakura pulled Sasuke behind her as she ran. And frankly, she was getting really tired. She had been chased about 20 miles already, & having to drag Sasuke the whole way didn't make it any better.

Just as she was about to pass out, Sakura noticed an alley & ran in, hoping that the fangirls wouldn't notice. Unforunately, they did & they followed them down the end.

Sakura dropped Sasuke, put her arms out in front of her, & shoke her hands violently. "You wouldn't beat up your vice president, now would you?"

"No . . ." they replied, pulling out a shot gun. "But we WILL kill our vice president . . ."

Sakura pulled out a whiter blindfold & covered her eyes with it stood ready. If I'm gonna die, Sakura thought, I'm gonna die with honor. But how CAN we die with honor?! We're the vice president of the MAIN & BIGGEST Sasuke fan club, for ramen's sake!!! Ramen's sake? I've been hanging out with Naruto too much. . .

The girls took a step forward & aimed, pulling the trigger . . . & nothing happened. They pulled again, & again nothing happened.

"Hanabi! Kiyoko! Stand guard while we go get some more bullets!" one, the treasurer, shouted.

"Yes, ma'am!" they said with a short salute & started to pace the entrance/exit of the alley as the rest of the fangirl army looked for a weapon store. Sakura peeped through the blindfold, then, seeing most of the army leave, took off the blinfold.

"Why are they chasing me?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you told them that you're going out WITH ME!!!"

"But I only told Ino-pig!!! . . . And that hobo who offered to make some t-shirts for me . . . "

"Then I guess hobos can't be trusted anymore than fangorls can." Sasuke said, pointing at a flyer on the wall. It read:

WANTED: HARUNO SAKURA

Has long, pink balt hair,

emarld green eyes,

pale skin,

large forehead,

& is about 5 ft 4in.

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE

Preferrably dead. If found, bring to either the hobo

on the corner of Nindo Ave or Ino Yamanaka,

preferrably Ino.

REWARD: THE CHANCE TO KILL SAKURA

"INO! ARGG!! Am I not worth 'any' yen at all?!!!" Sakura ranted to herself, pacing around in the enclosed space. "Am I not-" Her eyes widened & she pulled Sasuke to the wall she was looking at.

On the wall, three was a flyer that read:

UCHIHA SASUKE

WANTED ALIVE

& brought to either apartment so that WE may kill him.

REWARD: Gaara won't kill you . . .yet . . .

Signed, Gaara of the Sand & Rock Lee

"What the-" Sasuke started, emotions rising in his angsty body.

"We're BACK!!!" the fangirl army announced triumphantly. "And we brought hand granades!!!" Someone handed Hanabi and Kiyoko a hand granade each. Ten fangirls pulled up to the front, pulled out the trigger, & got ready to throw them at the two, Sasuke using Sakura as a human shield.

I write 'got ready' because they didn't get to throw the grenades at them. Why, you may ask? Because they were rescued by a helicopter.

The helicopter threw down the rope ladder, which almost hit a angry & frightened Sakura, and Sakura & Sasuke climbed up.


"Konbanwa ('good evening' in Japanese), Konaha!! This is Hyuuga Negi reporting live at my campsite!"

"NEJI!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!!" a fangirl screamed as Gai-sensei & Lee pulled her back behind the fence.

Neji twitched. "Yes, I know you do . . ."

TenTen put the camera down & ran over to the fence. "HEY!!! Neji's mine, you hear me!! Oops!!", she cried, cowering her blushing face & ran back to the camera.

Neji twitched again."ANYWAYS, we've now got Sasuke & Sakura here to talk about their new relationship!"

This canNOT be happening, Sasuke thought, horrified. After avoiding Sakura so that her fangirl drool wouldn't ruin his designer outfit, this happened.

"We are not going out!!!"

"Oh, Sasuke-kun! Don't lie to the camera, I mean, Neji! Tell him something true!!"

"Alright," Sasuke said, cleared his throat. He looked straight at the camera, and said, "I'm gay."


Sasuke: I AM NOT GAY!!!!

Me: (dodges kunia) Please don't kill me! And please review!!