Cookies are every where in my life today. My bestie and I call each other cookies, there's a C For Cookie video on Youtube (also where I got the title), obviously a parody of V For Vendetta, and I recently read this hilarious Matrix fic about the Agents and cookies. I had to incorporate V and Evey and these beloved cookies. Enjoy!

C For Cookie
by sparrowed

Snack time at the Gallery! Something that usually occurs between breakfast and lunch, but it was too small to be called brunch. V wanted something different from all the biscuits, donuts, fruit, cakes, that kind of thing, that he had been giving both himself and Evey. He was sure there was something different to feed on in these cabinets, and had to find it fast. He could hear Evey squirming around in her seat behind him.


"Yes, Evey?" he replied, continuing his search.

"Can I have the cookie?"

The cookie. It was obvious to V that she was referring to the one right in front of her. "Of course you may. Enjoy the last cookie."


"I said yes."

"No, I meant the last thing you said."

"Oh." He paused. Eventually he continued his rummaging again. "I said enjoy the cookie."

"Nuh-uh, you said enjoy the last cookie."

Evey could have finished that damn cookie by now, if it wasn't for her questions. V stopped rummaging when he realized this would go on for a while, and turned to her.

He tilted his head to the side. "So?"

"So, that means you wanted me to realize that it was the last cookie."

V paused, turning his head slightly, trying to understand. "...your point being?"

"And what you really mean, is that you want the cookie," she gave him a little smile.

V nodded. "Alright Evey, I confess. That last cookie looks just as delicious as the one before, but if you want it, take it."

Evey shook her head. "No. I can't. Not after that."


"See, if I eat the cookie, I'm going to feel bad knowing that you wanted the cookie."

"Then don't eat the cookie," V shrugged lightly.

"But I want the cookie!" Evey exclaimed in an instant.

"Then eat it!"


Awkward silence.

"You eat the cookie, V," she suddenly chirped, handing the plate of cookies (well, cookie) over to him.

V backed away from it as if it had a squashed toad on it instead of a cookie. "I don't want the cookie."

"You're lying," she grinned.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes you are!"

V rolled his eyes underneath the mask. "Just have the cookie, Evey."

"I don't want the cookie!"

"Now who's lying?" A smirk was present in his voice.

"I know you want the cookie V, so just take it! Take it elsewhere and enjoy it!"

"But you want the cookie."

"I know I want the cookie. We both want the cookie."

"Then why don't we just half it?"

"No, in this matter, there is no easy way out. It's the whole cookie or nothing at all!"

It's a cookie! There's always an easy way out! "Then we're not going to solve this one, are we?"

"I want the cookie, you want the cookie. But I say, you have the cookie."

"As I to you. I say, you have the cookie. And don't say you don't want the cookie!"

"V, I want the cookie, but I don't."

V blinked underneath his mask. What the hell?

"Uh, do you follow me?"

V turned away for a moment. "Obviously not..."

"Ugh! Okay V," she buried her head in her hands for a moment, before glancing back up at him with a tiresome expression. "I want the cookie, but since I know that you want the cookie, I want you to have the cookie."

"What I'm hearing is that 'you want me to want' the cookie, which I already do."

"Then eat it!" she shouted incredulously.


"Why?" she almost pouted.

"Because it's the last cookie and I want you to enjoy it." Sometimes, I hate being such a gentlemen.

"But it's your cookie! I want you to enjoy it."

Hm. Codename V. Terrorist, anarchist, freedom fighter, super villain, superhero, and a proud owner of a cookie. "Evey, since when was it my cookie?"

"Since you stole it from Sutler," she chuckled.

"And brought it home," he added.

"Exactly!" she grinned and nodded.

"Our home."

Her grin faltered, and she appeared thoughtful. "...well--"

"Which means what ever I bring down from Above is also yours from now on."


"Which means this cookie is yours too, which means either of us can have it, and since I'm giving it to you, you eat it!"

"Well take it as my token of appreciation for doing those things for me!"

"For us!"

"Whatever! Damn it V, just have the bloody cookie already!"

"FINE! I'll have the bloody cookie, just for you!" he shouted.

What V really meant was, 'just for you to shut the hell up!', but of course, that would have thrown of his charismatic demeanor, even at the oddest of scenarios. V stiffly snatched the cookie from the plate, turned away from Evey, lifted his mask slightly and crammed it into his mouth with a displeased grunt. After chewing and swallowing it whole with little interest, no savoring, he turned back to Evey who had a curious yet stunned expression on her face.

"There. Are you satisfied now, Miss Hammond?" he mocked.

Evey looked betrayed.

"Evey?" His agitation vanished.

"W...w...why the bloody hell did you do that?!" she cried irritably.

"What are you talking about?"

"Cookies don't just grow on trees these days, V! They're very rare!" she pouted and gave the empty plate a longing expression.

"So? I ate the blasted cookie liked you told me to!"

"Aargh! V! Only eat cookies when you crave to, not when you're told to!"

"I did want it! Do you not remember me saying so?"

Evey rolled his eyes at him. "I know you said so, but when you ate the cookie just then, you ate because I told you to! Not because you wanted to! If you really wanted to, you would've done it maybe five minutes later, or ten, or an hour, or day! Whenever your cravings kick in!"

"Well that's logical Evey! Don't you think I know that? But if I didn't, you would keep nagging me and nagging me..."

"You could have simply said, 'I'll eat it later'!"

Damn it. "Yes, but--"

"You didn't even savor it! I could tell! It was like a child being spoon fed some crap out of a can! Forcing it down..."


"If I had it, I would have savored each moment! Taking little nibbles every now and then...not shoving it into my trap as if I was trying to hide a key!"

"What do you want me to do? Regurgitate what remainder of the cookie hasn't been digested?"

"I want you to say, 'Sorry Evey, for eating the cookie without any interest. It won't happen again'."

A pause. A pause for V to realize what she had just told him to do. "You've got to be joking."

"I've never been more serious in my life, V. Cookies have been my favorite since I was a little girl! And then it became rarer and rarer--"

"SORRY Evey, for eating the cookie without any interest! It won't happen again!"

" you promise?" she narrowed her eyes.

"Yes, yes! Alright! I promise!"

"...good." She smiled sweetly.

"Good," he huffed. It was over. IT WAS OVER! Thank the Lord, it was over.

But then awkward silence decided to join in. V stood there completely still, expect the fingers of his right hand tapping a random rhythm on the kitchen bench. Evey never took her eyes off the the table in front of her. Eventually, she made the first move.

She stood up and headed toward the refrigerator. "I'm going to see what else there is to eat, V."

V nodded and moved aside. "Alright, Evey."

V began opening and closing cabinets again, even though he had absolutely no idea of what he was originally looking for. His mind was still focused on their...'arguement'. Evey's voice interrupted him.

"Uhm, V?"

V turned to her once again. "Yes, Evey?"

Evey gestured another plate, green this time, with another piece of food on it.

She bit her lip anxiously. "There's only one donut left..."

COOKIES! Aren't they cool? Hope you enjoyed. Read and review! XD