Sasuke had many different ways of trying to subtly convince Naruto that they were in love.


"There's a thin line between hate and homosexual man-feelings."

"Hey- wait, that's not-"


"We're rivals, therefore we're in love."

"…h-hey, there's no logic there…"

"…there's no logic in love…"


"We fight all the time."


"…so that means…?"

"We…don't like each other?"

"Guess again."

"…we clash?"

"Yes. And that creates tension doesn't it?"


"Sexual tension."





Once he had gotten it through to Naruto's head they were in love, he had to convince him they were in a relationship.


"S-Sasuke, there's a ring on my finger and it won't come off!" –tug- "It's on way too tight!"

"Don't try to resist…succumb to me…"

"Eh, Sasuke? What you mumbling about? Help me out!"


"Hey! Why did you write 'SASUKE'S' on my forehead?! Now everyone thinks we're…you know…!"

"My plan worked…"


"Now…onto phase 3…"



It was now Sasuke's mission to convince Naruto they should have frequent sex.


"C'mon, let's go make man-babies."

"Bu-but, we can't-!"

"Then we shall TRY AND TRY until we do."



"…seriously, if you touch it, the bump in my trousers will go away."

"…I think you're lying, Sasuke."

"No, really. Do it…do it…"



In the end, Naruto realised he was in love with Sasuke, they were (kinda) in a relationship, and they had sex. Lots of sex.

Now, Phase 4.

"Sasuke, my apartment's been blown up!"

"It's okay; I recovered all your belongings and put them into my room."

"…you were seen near the burning building…"

"Getting your stuff."

"…yelling 'Burn, burn!!'"

"…it was Itachi. Now let's go home, so you can settle in."