( I was listening to "Broken" by Seether and Amy Lee...And working on a different fanfic...And this came to mind suddenly, and I don't know why...But I thought it was a good idea. Warning, lots of angst! AND THIS IS A ONESHOT!!!!!!!! )
Thick, red blood slowly slipped itself out onto the flesh of his palm. It trickled it's way alone the skin, staining it, with it's pain.
Red meant two things to people, love and anger, it symbolized two completely seperate emotions. But, one no one seemed to think about, was one that both love and anger could lead to. Pain. Anger caused pain upon others. They felt bad when someone became angry with them. Love, was another story. Love lead you into a world of hopes and dreams. Special days, and special moments. Love allowed you to think about one person, constantly. To wonder, what they were doing, what they were thinking, how they were feeling.
Love meade people feel good. Or at least...It was supposed to.
Not him. Love had done him damage. Taken from him, all his dreams and wishes. He hated love for the pains it had caused. Pain. Red, meant pain. There was no such things as love, unless pain was involved in it, it was just one of the many facts of life. So many people disagreed, but he knew the truth behind love. Love, meant pain.
So, why did people force themselves to hurt? Why did they force themselves to concentrate on one person until that one person was gone? How could such a thing bring a person joy and happiness? How could pain make you smile, and laugh? It was something he didn't understand about life. How could something so terrible, also be magnificient? Why did people fall in love? What was the point? Love meant pain.
He sat in the shower, knees pulled to his chest, his arms wrapped around his knees. He was wearing his swimming boxers. He did this often, sitting there, thinking. The hot warer trickled it's way along him, down his spine, through his hair. Thick, red blood slipped itself into the water, and allowed itself to be carried down the drain, just as he allowed himself to slip into his thoughts...And allowed them to carry him away. He allowed hot tears to trickle down his cheeks, and off his chin. Hoping they would wash away, just as the blood did. They stained his skin, as blood had stained his mirror. His blood.
Why had he allowed himself to fall so far? Love meant pain...but while you were in love...You were happy. Why did life work in such a way? Why did people fall in love? Why had he allowed himself to fall so far?
He finally got out and turned off the water. He peeled the wet swimming boxers off and wrapped his waist in a towel, tying it at his hip, so that it would not fall. He stared into the mirror, the mirror that showed his reflection. His short, black hair, was soaking and dripping. His eyes were red from crying. He was pale, and had dark bags under his eyes. He hadn't been eating much, or sleeping. How could he? When he closed his eyes the terrible images returned. That night came back to him so commonly. The night he really did lose it all. Everything. The reason...He hated love. Who could blame him?
The night of the fire. He came home late from his night job. Eighteen, and without his cat-ears and cat-tail. No longer could he be called a virgin. Once you lost those...Everyone knew. He came home to find police cars, ambulances, and firetrucks. He'd started running as soon as he saw the flames and smoke. His violet eyes burned when he rushed into his house. Everyone who was to help had just arrived. He rushed into the house and dashed up the stairs, not caring if he burned alive.
He'd burst into the bedroom and found him sitting there, calmly, on the bed's edge. Hands formed together. He looked up when the door opened and he could see him.
"What are you doing?! The house is on fire, we have to leave!"
The silver-grey haired male removed his glasses and enveloped them in his hands. His blue eyes stayed focused on the male in the doorway.
"Come on! We have to leave!" The male rushed over to stand in front of him, grabbing his wrist. The other male removed his hand from his wrist and kissed the male, slipping his glasses into the male's hands.
"Run..." He whispered.
"Seimei gave me an order...You have to run!"
"I AM YOUR SACRIFICE NOW, NOT HIM!"
"He will always be my sacrifice...We are bound by our names! Go, RUN!"
"NO! I CAN'T LEAVE YOU!"
"RUN AWAY! I MADE YOU A PROMISE, SO RUN AWAY!"
"THAT IF SEIMEI EVER ORDERED ME TO KILL YOU, I'D KILL MYSELF INSTEAD!"
"THEN BREAK YOUR PROMISE TO ME! IF YOU DIE, I GO WITH YOU!"
"No...No Ritsuka, Leave...I can't go, knowing you've died because of me."
Ritsuka stared down at him,
Soubi kissed him once more,
"But Soubi, I-!"
"I WON'T LEAVE YOU!"
"So are you."
"Leave, please leave."
A firefighter burst into the room,
"Sir, I'm a firefighter, I'm going to get you out!"
"Not unless he comes with me," Ritsuka stated firmly.
Soubi had smiled,
"I love you, Ritsuka," he then faced the firefighter,
The firefighter had grabbed Ritsuka, dragging him out of the room as he screamed and cried.
"NO! TAKE ME BACK! LET ME GO, LET ME GO!"
He'd been held back once outside. Another firefighter went in and found Soubi. He brought him out, and lied him on the ground, giving him an air mask. The firefighter kept his index and middle finger against Soubi's neck. Sadly, he shook his head, giving the ambulance guys a solemn look.
He snapped back into reality. There was his reflection, more tears staining his skin as the blood stained the mirror. His blood. His blood that spilled out, everytime he etched a new scar into his skin. His blood. He'd lost everything now. Soubi was gone, and, how irnoic should it be, that both BELOVED's fighter and sacrifice should die, in almost the same way? Both were close to him somehow, and both had died in fires.
He could now, live up to his true name. Not the name he had been known by all his life. He was not Ritsuka. No, his true name. It was the same name that he had written in his blood. The blood that stained the mirror.
LOVELESS...One without love.