Disclaimer: I do own Harry Potter. Sigh.

Black Quest

AN: I'm running out of ideas. I need a few ideas that are firm and simple, so I can add on details. I'm willing to let any of you into my disclaimer, it could use some change…

Stop it. Remus scribbled irritably, and jabbed his wand at the parchment.

Once you stop torturing yourself.

We've gone through this. Remus wrote exasperatedly, leaving hurried blots of ink on the parchment. Listening to the teachers during class is not torture.

Remus heard of the old Muggle custom of 'computer talk', and that's definitely what he thought this was.

You aren't a MWPP, then.

Remus sighed at the note, not even sure what it meant. He vanished the parchment and glared at James, or was grinning. Another parchment appeared in front of him.

Not like that, Remus. Torture because of something else.

I regret ever telling you that. The werewolf wrote spitefully, and tried to fold up the parchment before James could respond.

It's my business as well.

Snooping through my journal is not your business.

It was lying right there – on your nightstand! There I was, minding my own business while I was sitting on your bed, and I just happened to catch a breeze from the window which also blew open the journal to a certain page.

I bet he knows. Remus wrote thoughtfully.

Sirius doesn't know. But he will.

Remus' eyes went wide as he saw the ink appear on the parchment in front of him.

What the hell are you considering?

I'm giving you an option. No, I'm giving you a quest. You must tell Sirius, or I'll tell him for you.

Are you blackmailing me, James? Remus wrote back incredulously.

Instead of a witty response, the ink webbed over the page into a large diagram, labeled Black Quest.

Remus stared the paper blankly, as five numbers appeared on the page in spidery handwriting, followed by instructions.

Why is it called Black Quest, James? Remus asked, smoothing out the paper as he scribbled on the corner of his special parchment.

Because of two reasons, and they fit so well together it's ironic. Quest, because this is a quest that you must do, or I'll BLACKmail you. See? And also, it involves Sirius BLACK, so that counts too.

That's insane! Remus retorted angrily on the paper. Ludicrous! Ridiculous!

No, it's not. Sirius would think it's – haha – sexy. Doesn't that appeal to you, Moony? James taunted on the notepaper.

The werewolf sent a glance to James, who was stifling his laughter as the Professor talked on in the classroom.

He diverted his eyes back to the shining paper labeled Black Quest.

Black Quest

1. You must intrigue Sirius by cornering him in a dungeon corridor, or accidentally fall into him, or perhaps let him catch you staring at him. It's a winning technique.

Already Remus had doubts. He had been flirting with Sirius the last year, in a way that he found extremely efficient. They were probably just too subtle for anyone to notice.

2. You must make Sirius jealous. After he gets intrigued, you must get him confused so he becomes vulnerable and open to comfort and certain emotions. Then he'll be envious, so you'll be the one that he's begging for. Not so subtly. So. How could you complete my ingenious task? Simply pretend to have a boyfriend. Or actually get one.

Remus did not want to make Sirius confused and vulnerable. He's seen both sides and they're both whiny and needy. Something he only agreed to deal with when Sirius wanted to get drunk really badly. And according to the task, he was also supposed to comfort Sirius after this. This didn't make sense. Why would he try and fix something he could avoid breaking? Why would he confuse Sirius just to comfort and fix him later on anyway? And the part about having a boyfriend was not on his agenda. If he did have on, he would let it be very subtle and unnoticeable, but with this he would have to make it very public and open.

3. Now you must fake the thing where 'your boyfriend breaks up with you' and you are devastated. Peter and I will try and act out helping you, but we will fail… conveniently. So then Sirius will comfort you and obviously do something romantic. Then you'll have to push him away.

Remus was on the verge of tearing the paper in half and throwing it in the trashcan where it belonged. If Sirius kissed him, he wouldn't stop him.

4. Now is the time when you will have to use self-control push Sirius away. You need to catch him staring at you, or act all distant when he does something somewhat romantic or suggestive. Self-control, Moony.

No! Remus screamed in his head. NO!!! He didn't want to push Sirius away if he liked him. This was not telling Sirius that he liked him. It was exercising temptation and breaking apart something that could be love… he could be destructing something.

5. Now is the time to tell him out front that you like him. Write an email, a note, whisper it in his ear, or I WILL TELL HIM. You must follow this one in particular.

And on the bottom, in added on blue ink, were the words:

P.S.: If you don't do these, there will be consequences.

"Class dismissed. Homework is reading chapter six and seven in your Charms book." The teacher said briskly, just as Remus ripped the top of the paper.

"Noo!" James wailed from the desk next, and lunged at his desk. Remus had already ripped the paper into eighths.

"What do you mean blackmailing? What do you mean consequences?" Remus asked furiously, throwing the pieces into the air.

"You're doing that. I don't care if you throw that paper away – as you basically did – I will tell Sirius. Enough with this torturing, it's getting me tired, Remus." James said firmly, looking Remus in the eyes sternly.


"If you don't do the first one," He started, and walked slowly toward the door with Remus. "I will push you into Sirius, push you onto his lips, or even force your eyelids into a wink, while wearing the invisibility cloak, so you can't blame anyone but yourself on what you'll be doing."

Remus flushed with defeat.

"Secondly," James added on stonily. "If you don't do the second one, I will tell the entire Great Hall that you're gay during breakfast on Sunday, and then I'll ask for dates for you. Got it??"

He is evil, Remus thought. Either he would do this, or his biggest secrets would be revealed. Why did James even care?

"I don't like that idea." He piped in quietly.

"Shh," James ordered shortly. "If you don't fake the entire 'boyfriend broke up with me' thing, I will go up to you while Sirius is there and say 'by the way, Remus, your boyfriend doesn't like you anymore…' and I'll put a crying charm on you. Alright?"

"No." Remus argued, defensiveless.

"Moving on," James ignored, and steered Remus toward the common room. "If you don't push Sirius off when he'll comfort you, then I'll push him off for you. And in the fourth task, if you don't have self-control, I'll have to tell Sirius that you like him early."

"But that's not fair, James"

"It's as fair as it'll become, Remus. And if you don't tell him in the end, I will for you. You in?"

James grabbed Remus' shoulders and spun him around.

For a moment the werewolf thought that he had a choice, but then he reasoned that he probably didn't, because if he'd say no now, James would tell Sirius in an hour's time.

"Fine." He mumbled, and jerked out of James' grip to prepare himself for the tasks before him.


"Get a good breakfast, Moony," James said encouragingly, handing the egg ladle over to Remus. "You're gonna need it." He added on in a whisper.

"Why?" Remus asked tiredly, pouring pumpkin juice out of a pitcher.

"The first task should be done by tonight… If not, you know the consequences." James warned carefully, and Remus stared open-mouthed.

"Wait – you give me a morning's notice, and I have to complete this in about twelve hours?"

"Yup," James said, nodding. "'Prolly less though."

Remus dropped his fork in a rather hasty manner, wiping his mouth with his napkin before standing up and hurrying out of the Great Hall.

"No – Remus!" James exclaimed, and rushed after him.

He caught up with him rather faster than Remus could vanish inside the Portrait Hole, breathless and panting.

"How… are… you… so… bloody… fast…" He panted, and James smiled proudly.

"Quidditch." He murmured.

There was a small awkward silence as Remus went into the common room, and hurried up the stairs, coming back down with a long sheet of parchment.

"What is that?" James asked. "Forgotten homework?" He teased playfully.

"Don't be ridiculous." Remus snapped, his eyes scanning the bottom of the paper.

"What is it though – oh my god." James asked irritably, and then stopped as he saw the paper in Remus' hands.


"You made yourself a study sheet?" He asked incredulously.

"Not so much a study sheet as helpful hints. I put together the note you gave me and copied the steps onto here, with a few personal tips for my own use." Remus said logically, and folded the paper again.

"It's not gonna help you. Just do it like you would do O.W.L.s." James said soothingly.

"I would study for O.W.L.s." Remus interjected, and then played with the parchment fondly.

James jerked the paper out of his hands. "Listen, Remus. You don't need studying or reading with this. That's one of the reasons I gave you this task. To learn to just have fun and try new things, cause I know that Sirius loves you anyway."

Remus knew that James meant platonically, but he couldn't help but smile.

"Even if I told him that I loved him non-platonically?" Remus asked, grinning slyly.

"Yeah. Just be who you are, that's who we all admire, 'kay?" James said softly, and firmly patted his shoulder.

Remus nodded and folded the study-sheet one more time before putting it in his pocket safely.

"'Kay. Eleven hours to go." He said determinedly, and sat down on the couch.

"I can give you a tip. Just… erm, look at him. Stare, more likely. Or something that implies such things, Sirius loves it when the girls do it, I think he feel's wanted"

James stopped suddenly as Sirius and Peter walked into the Portrait Hole.

"There you are. Why did you leave so quickly? They didn't even bring out the bacon yet." Sirius said.

"No reason." Remus said, and felt James stuff his study-sheet farther into his pocket.

"Alright. I guess I'll grab my bag for Herbology."

Remus felt James push him encouragingly up from the couch. He prodded him in the back.

"Do something."


"Do something." James said again.

"No, not yet."


Sirius came back down the stairs and James pushed Remus toward him.

Staggering forward, Remus fell straight into Sirius, who held him up protectively as his legs slipped and skidded quickly. Remus accidentally kicked Sirius in a very unkickable place, and Sirius promptly let go of him, doubling over.

Moaning, he clutched at his stomach hunchbacked while James stared horrorstruck at Remus.

"My god, Moony."

"I didn't mean to kick him – there. I d-didn't mean to kick him at all!" Remus squeaked apologetically, and kneeled down next to Sirius.

"Erm, sorry about that, Padfoot – it was a mistake, very unintentional–" He rambled quickly, his palms and forehead sweating slightly.

"That's alright." Sirius croaked, groaning slightly.

"You're alright, mate?" James asked.

"Er – no. I think I'll, uh, skip Herbology, if you'll excuse me…"

Peter looked blankly from Remus to James, who was shaking his head disbelievingly. Remus had his hands over his mouth.

"I didn't mean to do that." He said in a muffled voice, since his hands were covering his mouth – once Sirius left them.

"Smooth, Remus. You're quite the charmer." James told him sarcastically.

"Sorry, James. I told you I should have studied"

"Flirting isn't in a textbook"

"It's your fault you pushed Remus into him!" Peter observed, interrupting their argument.

"Shut up, Peter, you don't understand"

"We have Herbology, you know." Remus snapped acidly, and hitched his bag up his shoulder.

"Fine." James snarled, and shoved his hands into his pockets.


It wasn't until potions that Sirius walked into the classroom, looking rather disgruntled and limping slightly.

"You also twisted my kneecap, you know that?" Sirius whispered in a hiss to Remus, sitting down next to his cauldron.

"Sorry," Remus winced. "It's too late for you to start a potion all by yourself. How about you work with me?"

"Sure. I could use an O in potions." Sirius grunted, and scooted his chair closer.

Remus gulped a little, but then simply took his cork of frozen Ashwinder eggs and poured them into the potion.

"Flip the page, Sirius." Remus instructed, and Sirius turned a page in the Potions textbook.

"What is this?"

"Amortentia." The werewolf answered smartly, prompt with the reply as he confiscated the empty vial.

Remus felt someone's eyes on the back of his head and turned to see James staring expectantly.

He mouthed This is the perfect opportunity, and waited for Remus to do something.

Yes, he supposed it was. They were together in the Potions as 'partners' which Slughorn never allowed anymore because it was too noisy and distracting – but here Sirius was, flipping the page for him and leaning back in his chair rather seductively. Remus couldn't even help staring.

"I like your hair like that." Remus blurted out, and he heard a clank behind him.

James had knocked over his bottle of lovage, which was now sprawled across his desk. Sirius didn't even look; he only raised his eyebrows and shook his black hair into a curtain around his eyes.

"Really," He mused thoughtfully. "I never knew."

Remus nodded, sweating, as he wiped his sleeve onto his forehead. Why the hell did he say that?

"Give me those moonstones."

Sirius handed Remus the moonstones just as Remus felt a sharp kick in the back of his ankle.

"Ahh!" He shouted out in surprise and pain, and several heads turned.

"Do it." James hissed in a whisper behind him.

Remus knew the consequences for not doing the first task, and he definitely didn't want James to push him onto Sirius again. His ankle jerked and brushed slightly next to Sirius'.

A little purposely, he skimmed his foot onto Sirius' leg lightly.

"Mmm…" Sirius said, closing his eyes, and for a moment Remus thought it was because of him.

"That potion smells amazing, Moony." He said, and Remus' eyes widened in his stupidity.

Of course he liked the smell, it was a love potion, the strongest love potion in the world, with the exact mother-of-pearl sheen shining in the bubbles. Spirals were coming up from the frothing potion. Remus himself could smell cologne, the type that Sirius always smelled like, he could smell books, he could smell the sweet scent of melted chocolate, and he could smell wet dog. He didn't even know why that appealed to him.

"What do you smell?" Remus asked Sirius softly.

"Hm," Sirius thought carefully. "It smells like sugar quills for one thing, it smells like fresh ink… I can smell this really peculiar vanilla cinnamon smell I've smelled before… and I can smell rain and mud. Oh, and I can smell your shampoo."

Remus stopped suddenly, and looked at Sirius interestedly. "My shampoo?"

"Yeah. I told you before I like your shampoo. It smells like coconut and cookies. In a really good way, of course. Can I borrow it by the way, on Sunday?"

"Sure," Remus said immediately. "Why?"

"I have a date."

"Oh." He said in a small voice, and stirred the potion one last time.

The Potions class was dismissed five minutes after that, and James was still prodding Remus in the back.

"Here's the plan. You need to corner Sirius in a, erm, corner, and then"

"What's up?" Sirius asked, moving over to James and Remus.

"Nothing. Peter and I are going to lunch." He said quickly, and James yanked Peter out the door rather hastily.

"Do you want to go to lunch, too?" Remus asked tentatively.

"Yeah, sure. But let's take the shortcut and surprise those too."

Remus didn't think that they would be the ones surprised. James probably still had a plan in mind, hopefully not involving shoving him on Sirius' lips

In the midst of his pondering, he felt something – something invisible push him into Sirius.

Remus yelped, rather out of surprise and fear, as his lips almost brushed against Sirius'. His breath fell onto his mouth as Sirius pulled in his breath into a gasp, moving backward into the nearby corner.

"What are you doing, Moony?"

"S-Sorry…" He stuttered. "Must have slipped."

Sirius eyed Remus a little suspiciously and Remus blushed.

Although he was embarrassed as he and Sirius walked to lunch, he could have sworn that he heard a snicker behind him.

AN: Hi again!! We will have a chapter for each task, so five tasks and five chapters! I know this one was long but the next one probably won't be quite as much. R&R please, cause I know you can. Thanks for everyone who reviewed my now-finished story Temptation. But I've seen my hits, so anyone who even LANDS here on accident, just review with whatever thought comes into your head. Doesn't matter if it's a flame, just be nice about it, just I like learning from other people's critisizim.