After a long night of celebration and ten cups of coffee my family plus Mali and Patrick decided to go home (in Patrick's case go back to his motel) Mali hesitantly hugged her father goodbye and I smiled and we shook hands. Mali leaned back on me as we stood at the door and watched his car drive away. The girl in my arms sighed, "what do you think he'll do now?" she asked, I just shrugged, "go back to his everyday life, I guess, plus, call you and come to visit." She nodded, "he told me that he had a girlfriend back in Miami, he said she wants to meet me." I smiled down at her, "maybe we can take a vacation to Miami this summer then." Mali sighed, clearly in her happy place. "The sun!" she said breathlessly. "Back in Rhode Island we live on a beach and you'll be able to have your own room, and there is a nice school too, I think." Mali smiled, "can Anna come to visit?" I looked at her like she was crazy. "Duh, I've been trying to get her to come up for ages, maybe you could persuade her." Anna wasn't a traveler, she was happy where she was, she always told me when I suggested a girls only trip one time that she didn't need a vacation, so we decided to go to Seattle instead. "Hey, Evelyn?" Mali asked, "Hmm," Mali looked up at me. "Thank you for loving me." I kissed her forehead. "Thank you for letting me love you."

To get full custody of Mali I had to go to court with her father, Edward and Carlisle came to make sure I didn't mess up with the adoption papers. Mali, Esme, Bella, and Ian were at out house back in Forks. Wes and Scarlett had to go back to Rhode Island, they had work. Since I had to stay in Forks longer than I'd planned I sent Mali back to school until she moved to Rhode Island with me. She didn't seem sorry to go, either, I over heard her talking to Ian the other night. He asked all about her with interest, her feelings, friends, boyfriends even. Ian told me that night that she didn't have many friends and that the ones she did have wouldn't miss her. After the court session was done I took a separate car from Edward and Carlisle, there was someplace I had to go before I left this time. Edward and Bella already went, for old times sake, but I went for my sake. The meadow was exactly as I remembered it, beautiful. The trees swayed in the light breeze, the sun shone down from their branches. I sat at the bottom of the old willow tree and the memory of Alex and our first kiss came back to me in a rush. I remember the slight trembling of his body, his soft lips hesitant, my tear stained cheeks. I started to cry, my tears tumbling beside my nose on to my lips and then eventually falling on my blouse. I was crying because I was happy, I think I was also crying because I was sad too. I laid back on to the ground using my arm as a pillow, the sun blinded me as I looked up to the heavens. When it became to bright I closed my eyes, soft slightly shaking fingers stroked my hair. I opened my eyes.

My angel was sitting next to me, smiling down at me. I smiled too and took his hand. "I told you everything would be alright." Alex said softly, I nodded and stared to rise off the ground in a sitting position, but Alex put a still shaking hand on my face, I stopped. I pressed my hand on his and looked at him with concern. "Your memory of our time in the meadow and the dream you are having now are clashing together." he explained, I smiled again. "That must suck for you." I said, Alex chuckled, "I think I've forgotten how tired I used to be, in heaven there is no need to sleep. To many loved ones to watch over." I laughed a little and kissed his nose, "I missed that." he said grabbing a strand of hair that escaped for the mess on my head and placing it back. "I'm so proud of you." Alex whispered, I smiled and nodded, "I think Mali is happy now, or she seems to be." I told him, Alex's smile broadened, "She really is truly happy now." He answered, "did you know she prays for you just as much as you pray for her?" I looked at him in surprise. "Why would she pray for me?" Alex stroked my nose with his pointer finger. "She worries about you, she says that you need extra help and that you need me so much sometimes that it hurts even her." I frowned, "I try to hide that pain from her!" I said in frustration, "I try really hard, but she still sees through all that." I said sadly, "This isn't what she needs right now, she doesn't need that extra hurt inside." Alex nodded, "You cant help it, as you said, it will get easier over time now that you two are together, Now, I'm still waiting for a nice young man to come along and-" "No," I cut him off, he just chuckled and shook his head.

"You know? I think things are going to get a lot easier." I said as Alex wrapped his arm around me and I leaned back onto him. Alex kissed my hair, "I think that, too, my schedule says I won't be visiting you for a while." I looked at him in horror, "Huh? You Won't visit me in my dreams?" Alex kissed me softly again, "Don't worry about it, Sweetheart, that doesn't mean I'll stop watching over you or helping you out every once in a while but my mother needs me in her dreams. Beside, why would I stop giving you little hints that I'm not here? Breaking that picture frame was pretty fun." Alex shrugged and laughed a little at my expression. "What's wrong with your mom?" Alex frowned, "she's lonely, she needs a little extra push.-" "Your going to push her?" I asked, taking what he said literally. "No, no" Alex laughed, after all, he was capable of doing just that. "She needs a little push, I want her to be happy. To put herself out there. I've noticed the postman has taken a liking to her." I nodded, "oh," I said understanding. I sighed, "Remember that March when you took me to the beach that night and." I didn't bother to finished the sentence he knew all to well what I was talking about. "Yes," I smiled, "I've been thinking a lot about it lately." I said lightly, he nodded, "I know you have." I relaxed a bit in his arms, "You want that again, don't you?" he asked softly in my ear, "Not with somebody else!" I said back, he smiled. "No, but you've been missing your physical relationship with me, lately." I nodded, "I think I'm starting to get my period." I said, Alex nodded, "maybe," I rolled my eyes, "like you don't know," Alex just smiled down at me.

"I think I should visit Mali in one of her dreams to warn her that you'll be moody for the next few days," he joked, I playfully hit him on the arm. Alex sighed heavily, "is it time for me to wake up?" I asked sadly, "5 minutes." he answered. "Then I better make the most of it!" but before I could even move Alex's lips were on mine, I smiled against him and he smiled back. I broke apart for a minute. "Is it possible to make love in a dream?" I asked, Alex shrugged, "Well, since your dreaming you will probably wake up making out with your hand or something." I laughed and we were kissing again, it felt so real, just like that night at the beach. But just when I relaxed against Alex's chest he sighed again. "It's time to wake up, Dear." he said, he looked a little worn out but then I remembered that I was clashing my vision with the dream. "I love you." he whispered I kissed his nose like I always used to and I woke up. I wasn't making out with my hand, though, it was my elbow, spit was all over me. I sat up startled, half expecting Alex to be next to me, but when I looked around my angel was back in heaven and I was all alone again. I sighed, the sinking reality hitting me like an army tank. I sat there for a moment trying to collect my thoughts, but then I realized what happened back in court and I smiled, what was I doing sitting in this meadow when I could be home with my daughter, Mali.

The drive home was slow, It was a little sun started to peek through the clouds that glided over me in my sleep, I smiled, and thought of a time long ago when Alex asked me to sing for him, so, now I sang for him again, just like way back when. Maybe I could start to sing for my family again too, Edward would enjoy it, he said once that he'd always been trying to get my mother to sing for him before I was born. There were going to be some rough times ahead, but now I know I'll get through them because I was truly blessed just as Alex said. So I drove home, singing all the way, and I decided that for the rest of eternity I would be a better person and live my life to the fullest with love to give and love to receive, for my daughter Mali, and my angel Alex, and my vampire family, even my crazy self.

"You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other night, dear,
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

I'll always love you
And make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me
To love another
You'll regret it all some day;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

You told me once, dear
You really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me
And love another
You have shattered all my dreams;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

Louisiana my Louisiana
the place where I was borne.
White fields of cotton
-- green fields clover,
the best fishing
and long tall corn;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Crawfish gumbo and jambalaya
the biggest shrimp and sugar cane,
the finest oysters
and sweet strawberries
from Toledo Bend to New Orleans;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away."

Epilogue

So this is the end of my story, I guess, but not really, after all, stories never really end mine is just stopping here. WAIT! DON'T LEAVE YET! I didn't mean 'here' literally I meant it as, like, here as in the "Epilogue" see, I told you I was a bad writer! Anyways, when I started writing down my thoughts and memories of the past I thought it would be something I'd never look at again, and maybe it is, but now, who ever is reading this, you will hopefully know the importance of life and family and friends, even of death, I thought I wrote this down for myself but it ended up to be more than that, it ended up to be a life lesson for me, Who would have known????

Thanks for reading this who ever you are, I love you all, peace out,

Evelyn Elizabeth Cullen

(SEACREST OUT! Ha, inside joke with Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper. You know you love American Idol, Jasper, Stop Pretending!)

HOW I LIVE NOW SOUNDTRACK (Even songs mentioned in the story)

1. Changes- Butterfly Boucher

2. A Lack of Color- Death Cab For Cutie

3. Life is Short- Butterfly Boucher

4. Memory Lane- Elliot Smith

5. When You Say Nothing At All- Allison Krause

6. Dead Wrong- The Fray

7. How To save A Life- The Fray

8. Don't Wake Me Up- The Hush Sound

9. Black Roses Red- Alana Grace

10. Welcome to the Black Parade- My Chemical Romance

11. You Are My Sunshine- Elizabeth Mitchell

12. Girlfriend- Avril Lavigne

13. The Artist- The Hush Sound

14. Don't Worry Be Happy- Bobby McFerrin

15. Livin' on a Prayer- Bon Jovi

16. You and My Medication- Boys Like Girls

17. The Story- Brandi Carlile

No, really, I'm leaving, stop looking at the screen like that and wipe those tears away! Honestly, what am I going to have to do to make you leave???!! Oh, yeah stop writing, duh.

Okay, you convinced me, maybe I'll write something in the NEAR future. NOW LEAVE! I HAVE A DAUGHTER TO TAKE CARE OF! I CAN'T SPEND MY ALL OF MY TIME WRITING FOR YOU!

This story ends here (really in mean it this time. Crap, if I'm writing this then the story doesn't end "here")

HERE :P .

I'm so sorry you guys had to wait so long for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! More from Evelyn soon! I'm thinking of writing an AU of the story, how Evelyn's life would be with Alex by her side forever. I hope you don't get too sick of their story!