Don't know why I never posted this one here before...

Urahara Kisuke was a very complex, ever-changing man. It was something she treasured about him, the fact that he could be equal parts familiar and mercurial. One moment, he was completely at ease with himself, his natural confidence and charisma showing clearly through his beaming smile and the mischievous flicker of his eyes underneath the brim of his hat. But give him a good reason, and he could demonstrate a serious edge that held the promise of deadly intent. He was childlike and sage, genius and utter lunatic. The fact that he never stayed the same, despite his usual laid back demeanor, was something that had initially attracted her to him and ultimately what kept her coming back to him. However... there were some changes she could do without.

Like his latest change for example. Yoruichi enjoyed sex. She especially enjoyed sex with Kisuke, for the very same reasons that she had befriended him. Sex with him was never the same. Oh, sure, the results were standard enough, but it was the act of getting to that sweaty, satisfied state that was the fun. She was gifted with flexibility and stamina. He was gifted with a mind the was brilliant and filthy. With his creativity and her physicality, they had explored areas that would make an expert in the Karma Sutra blush like a virgin bride on her wedding night. There was, however, one area to their sexuality that had never been explored. One that she'd hoped to never have to deal with before.

Kisuke had taken up, much to her annoyance, the habit of talking dirty while they were having sex.

Not just a 'come on, baby' here or an 'oh, yeah' there, but a full out running commentary of the most perverted things her ears had ever been assailed with. Yoruichi was a very patient woman. She had to be to deal with him. But this talking during sex... it had pushed her to the edge. Yes, she could be a complete whore for him when properly encouraged, but she didn't need everyone within a four block radius to hear it. He didn't need to ask if she liked having him take her hard. He already knew that from countless times before. No, she would not tell him who her daddy was. Thinking about her parents while he was pounding away on her... ugh! It made her stomach want to crawl up her throat to die in a dirty gutter somewhere.

It wasn't that what he said was shocking or anything. After all, they'd grown up in a very military setting, and everyone knew soldiers had mouths that would make their mothers weep buckets of tears. What she didn't like about it was how completely useless it all seemed. She enjoyed losing herself in the way they moved, the animalistic grunts and groans, the harsh gasps of breath and the occassional word of encouragement. Having him talk non-stop disrupted her moment of zen, which ultimately ended with him getting off and her feeling pissed off that she'd worked up a sweat for nothing. What added to this annoyance was the fact that he looked so pleased with himself afterward that she couldn't bring herself to do anything about it. She loved seeing the lazy, lop-sided grin he gave her, full of contented joy and utterly relaxed.

But if she didn't get some good, old-fashioned silent sex soon, she was going to bind him up with a kido before picking apart every single invention he had stashed around the shop while he watched helplessly. The next best thing to getting laid was making a grown man cry, and if he didn't shut the hell up and do her properly she would make certain he'd tear up everytime he looked at her. It was the most maddeningly frustrating thing to want the man and everything he had to offer, get really close to that point of pure, floating bliss... and then have it jerked away the minute he opened his damn mouth.

It looked like this time was going to be the same as the last several, she thought wryly, pushing her hips down hard on his. Yoruichi liked having him on his back with her riding him so that she could watch his face as he came. She liked the visual he made, his pale hair spread out and skin slicked with sweat as he sprawled across dark green linen. It was fun to run her hands up his chest before dragging her nails back down and leaving thin red marks against his skin. Kisuke didn't mind it in the least, though later he'd complain about being ravaged by a feral cat. Her own passion was pretty high at this point, her lips parted and gasping and that wonderful throbbing sensation starting low in her stomach. He hadn't said anything for a little while now. Maybe she would get lucky and-

"Nn... I love it when you ride me hard! Yeah, just like that!"

-And then he had to go and open his mouth. She felt like saying something sarcastic about stating the obvious, but refrained from it because then he'd give her the kicked puppy look and that wasn't condusive to producing an orgasm. So... plan B then. Yoruichi grit her teeth quickly to keep the comment in check before leaning over him for a deep, heated kiss. The groan he gave and the way his fingers dug harder into her hips in response to her tongue pushing roughly into his mouth were the reactions she enjoyed from him. Kissing him was how she shut him up on a normal basis anyway, and it worked fairly well in the bedroom, too.

Until she started catching random snippets of dirty talk between kisses. That was almost worst than a running dialogue because she could only catch a few words here or there. Random, filthy nonsense was all it was, and it was quickly sucking the libido right out of her. This had to end, and it had to do it fast so that she could FINALLY have an orgasm! But what to do? Yoruichi stopped moving completely and regarded the situation with narrowed, thoughtful eyes. His cock was still hitting deep inside her where she liked it, which was nice but not what she was currently interested in.

Kisuke, who was panting hard while he shifted restlessly under her, had just realized a little too late that she wasn't moving any longer. Blinking his eyes in confusion, he pushed himself up onto one elbow while his other hand tried move her hips manually. She didn't budge. "What the... Why'd you stop?" Kisuke demanded, a faint hint of a whine mingled with the need in his voice. "C'mon, I was so close!"

Yeah, he was close. He was close to getting his jaw broken so that she could enjoy their sex once again! Yoruichi looked around the room, trying to find something that would be useful in keeping his mouth shut. She could always paralyze him with a kido... but that would probably result in him not being too happy with her later. The last time he'd been mad at her, the shop had been out of any form of dairy for almost a month. No cream, no milk... not even a slice of processed cheese. She needed to do this in just the right way. Something kinky would have been perfect, but she didn't think Kisuke had any ball gags in his small arsenal of toys.

"Are you being a dirty little tease?" he asked slyly, causing her too flinch and fight the cringe that came with those words. Damn it, she needed something, anything, to shut him the hell up! "Want me to beg for it? Wanna hear how much I looooove your tight, hot body?" Noooo... she didn't. What she wanted was a damn-

Yoruichi's eyes widened as she spotted what she was looking. Letting out a triumphant sound, she leaned over the side of the bed and snatched what her eyes had fallen on. The movement made both of them hiss in pleasure as it shifted his cock inside her sharply. Yoruichi leaned forward once again and resumed rocking her hips into his while distracting him with another hungry kiss. Kisuke groaned into her mouth and didn't struggle or seem to notice when she wrapped her fingers around his wrists and guided them up over his head. Yoruichi couldn't help grinning against his mouth as she set her plan into motion. With quick, practiced movements, she had his belt tied around both his wrists and secured to the pipe that ran along the wall behind the futon before he could lift a finger to stop her.

Kisuke's eyes widened in surprise as he gave an immediate, reflexive tug to the restraints while she sat back and laughed as step one was completed. Step two would commence... "Hey! What the -MMPH!" Just as she'd expected, Kisuke had opened his mouth to protest his captivity, which was exactly the moment she'd been waiting for. She shoved her make shift gag into his mouth, grinning and damn near howling with laughter at the sheer shock plastered across his face. Wide eyes rolled downward to take in the green and white striped material that was poking out from his mouth.

Satisfied that his hat wasn't going anywhere, Yoruichi pressed a chaste kiss to his ear and purred, "That's much better!" Ignoring the fact that she'd startled some of the hardness from him, she began to move again, slamming herself down on his cock with a renewed eagerness for the now word-free encounter. It wasn't long before he was back in the game fully and they were both making more natural sounds, though his were muffled quite a bit. Yoruichi felt that warm, fuzzy sensation starting again, working its way up through her stomach, tickling along her spine. She curled her fingers harder around his shoulders as a wave of euphoric bliss began to rise up to drown her. Kisuke's neck muscles were straining, corded tight as he arched his back off the bed, his eyes closing tightly as tiny beads of sweat slipped down his cheeks.

It was while she was taking in the flushed color of his skin, which made the green and white edges of his hat stand out in stark relief, that she finally came. It was the first time in a long time that she'd had an orgasm from the actual sex aspect, and it was glorious. Yoruichi tipped her head back, eyes squeezing shut tightly as the heady, rushed feeling crashed into her. It flooded through her, leaving her shaking and panting hard as she tightened her thighs around his hips. The moment lingered on in little spasms as she finally collapsed next to him, letting his spent cock slip from her body.

Pushing her tangled hair from her eyes, Yoruichi met his glazed over eyes and grinned as a spark of irritation managed to find its way through the near-drunken pleasure. "I should get a camera," she teased, lightly trailing her nails up and down his chest. His response required a pointed glance up to where his hands were bound and one finger. Laughing, Yourichi pulled his hat from his mouth before maneuvering herself so that she was straddling his chest. She left his wrists tied to the pipe, waiting to see just how angry he actually was first before releasing him.

"Ugh," Kisuke complained instantly as his face contorted into one a distaste. "My hat tastes awful!"

"Well, yeah," she commented back. "You wear it everyday. Cleaning dusty shelves in it, rough housing with the kids... sweating in it."

"I've got cotton stuck to my tongue, too."

"Aw, poor baby!"

Kisuke gave her a pouting look, complete with his lower lip curled out slightly. "Heartless woman," he muttered.

Smiling, Yoruichi tapped a finger to the end of his nose playfully, drawing back quickly when his mouth moved as if to bite her. "If I were heartless, I would have left you tied up, gagged and hard," she shot back, her smile widening further as he mulled the truth to her words over briefly before giving a nod and shrug to concede the point.

"True... but you were a bit slower than I was expecting, my dear," he said, his own smile forming as she cast narrowed, suspicious eyes on him. "It's about time you took some initiative with me. I was running out of things to say!"

She couldn't believe it. She just couldn't believe it! "You mean... the entire time you've been talking dirty... it was all just to irritate me into doing this?" she gritted out slowly, her fingers curling into tight, angry fists.

Kisuke's lips twisted in mock thought briefly before returning to the wide, triumphant grin he wore when one of his inventions worked as expected. "Yup, that sounds about right," he said cheerfully. "If I'd known you'd react this kinky, I would have done it - hey... where are you going? Yoruichi? Umm... Yoruichi? I'm still tied up! Hey!"

Yoruichi ignored his continued protests as she wrapped herself in his coat and stomped angrily toward the door to his room. "I bet you didn't expect this outcome, pervert," she growled, annoyed beyond civil words that her brilliant plan had actually been a contrived part of his plan from the get-go. "G'night, Kisuke!" She waved airily over her shoulder as his voice grew a little more desperate in trying to get her to stop. Perhaps one night of being tied up and naked would teach him once and for all not to screw around with her!