Title : Smack Daddy

Pairing : KIBBS, Humor, Established relationship, one shot.
Rating : PG, K
Disclaimer : NCIS…Definitely not mine
Outtakes from "ALL I HAVE" (KIBBS series)

Bullpen, noon.

"OK! Tell me! Tell me what this is?" Tony stops a little boy in the middle of the bullpen.

The two year old ignores the man, busy with his Gummy Bears, walking across "his bullpen" with McGee holding his small hand. Moments ago, the boy told McGee that he wanted to be with Abby; So McGee was taking him to see Abby through the bullpen, when Dinozzo stops them, blocking their path.

"Tony, he is not interested in you!" a frustrated McGee says to his boss. He doesn't call Tony "Boss" even though Tony is his boss now; he still calls Gibbs "Boss"

"McGee!!! When are you going to learn? It is all about the BAIT!" and the senior agent pulls out a bag of M&M's. Then Tony squats in front on the little boy, slowly opening the bag of M&M's right in front of the boy's face!

"Yummy" the kid says, eying the M&M's in Tony's hands. Robert is Gibbs's and Kate's two year old, he is visiting his daddy today, but his daddy was busy when his mom dropped him half an hour ago. So he spent his time peacefully with McGee until Tony disturbed them.

Tony couldn't help himself, the boy version of Kate with Gibbs's eyes and character is so cute, dressed in his navy blue overall, with white shirt inside, and Tony bets it is from WallMart, Gibbs's favorite clothing store. But the boy is too cute to be left in peace.

Robert tugs McGee's hand, "Bobby want yummy, please"

"Wow, Bobby, you said please" McGee is impressed, despite his sudden disastrous outburst. JUST like his dad, the boy is polite and friendly. Kate really works hard, teaching her son Robert to say "please". Impressive, McGee thinks, because Gibbs hardly ever says please!

"You want the M&M's Robert?" McGee tries to grab the M&M's from Tony's hand, but misses. "McGee!!! Let me have fun with him first!" Tony snaps at him.

McGee just exhales, rolls his eyes, annoyed, but he doesn't do anything about it. "OK Bobby, Tony asks you a question, Bobby answers and Tony gives you one of these little colorful yummy things, OK?" Tony explains animatedly to the kid.

"OK" Robert nods and answers him seriously, he knows he could answer any question, and he's been studying with his mommy, daddy and Ducky.

"Tell Tony, what's your name?" Tony starts.

Robert quickly says, "Bobby" and Tony pops one M&M into his mouth. The boy smiles and chews right away, very pleased.

"Thank you" he says to Tony and Tony is grinning like an idiot.

"What is my name Bobby?" Tony continues.

"Tony" the kid says with confidence.

"Bobby, you smart boy!"Tony praises him and slips another M&M into the boy's gaping mouth. Robert chews the melting chocolate and the nutty centre.

"What is his name?" Tony points to McGee. Robert looks up at the man fondly and says "Gee". "You are so smart Bobby"McGee pats the kid's head.

"What's the lady with lots of tattoos all over her body and she plays very loud crazy music – what is her name?"and Robert laughs, saying "Abby…tattoooo" and hops all over Tony, excited about the M&M's he is going to get, and "You are so smart…" Tony pops another one into his mouth.

"OK boy, a quick one! What's your grandpa's name, the one that talks a lot?" Bobby quickly cuts him, "Ducky" he knows the answers as he stands in front of McGee again.

"OK, OK, tell Tony! What's your daddy's name? Your daddy? What's his name?" Tony is getting excited.

"GIB" Robert says fondly…"Daddy" Robert bellows happily, he loves his daddy more than he loves chocolate and candy.

"Gib" Robert repeats as he sees Tony slip the chocolate to his own mouth. How come? Again, Tony pops another M&M into his own mouth, not Robert's.

"Bobby wants yummy" Robert shouts at Tony, his short arm tries to grab the pack of M&M's but misses."OH C'MON Tony" McGee is losing his patience

"OK Bobby answer one more, OK!? And Tony gives you two of these!" Tony tries his luck with the already angry boy.

Special Agent Antony Dinozzo is having the time of his life, making fun of his boss's only son who is all chubby and cute; he doesn't realize that the boy's father is already standing about three yards behind him, arms across his chest.

Gibbs is just out from one of his meetings, he knows his son must be in the HQ already, he heard one of his happy squeals, his hearing is still exceptional; he is about to grab the boy from the pantry (his favorite place) to take him to the nearest park, he has an hour or so to spare.

Then he comes across his bullpen and sees the scene. He stalks slowly to them, not making any noise. Bloody Dinozzo is having the time of his life at his son's expense.

And he sees everything…

"What's your mommy's name Bobby?" Tony is oblivious to his surroundings;McGee sees his boss and keeps quiet, excited at the upcoming events.

"DADIIIIII" Robert screams

"No, no, no, no your mommy's name" Tony thought the boy was confused. Oh no, RobertJethro Gibbs is NOT confused! Tony doesn't know that he is actually calling for his daddy, standing right behind him.

"NO!!!" Robert shouts angrily at Tony

"OH, C'mon Bobby, here…" Tony pops another M&M into Robert's mouth. "So, tell Tony your sexy mommy's name" Tony grins at the boy.

Robert quickly swallows the melted M&M and says proudly "Kat, mommy, Kat" and the boy eyes the chocolate expectantly again, waiting for his promised piece and Dinozzo tries to be funny again; instead of Robert's mouth he agent sticks it in his own mouth.

Robert is mad, "Bobby wants YUMMY" he stomps his feet in anger. "Oh you are very annoying Tony, it's not funny at all" McGee is mimicking Gibbs's stance, with arms across his chest.

And Robert tries again, this time the tot begs, "Bobby wants yummy please" he says sadly.

Gibbs's cheek twitches, hearing his son saying please; his wife is amazing, but he is slowly losing his patience with Dinozzo, his boy is begging the clown!

He takes one step closer to the clown.

"OK, OK, one more question Bobby, tell Tony what your daddy does when he is mad?" Tony is laughing his head off, looking at the kid's angry pout. "Can you tell Tony?" and "SMACK" Robert slaps Tony, his puny palm across DiNozzo's right cheek.

"AUW, Bobby! I didn't say show" Tony is shocked at the tiny slap he just received.
McGee laughs really loudly until he is shaking.Robert is mad, he says "Damn" and he tries to slap Tony again, but Tony sees the flying palm and moves back to avoid the boy's second slap.

The Gibbs boy's hand is tiny but it stings!

"Oh Bobby…" Tony exclaims and he gets cut off.

"TWACK" a hard slap to his head, not from the boy, oh no, it's behind him, a very distinctive slap.

"Damn" Tony whispers to himself. "Your daddy is behind me? Bobby?" conforming his fear. "YES" Robert answers gleefully, raising his hands to his dad. Gibbs smiles at him and picks him up and kisses his tummy until he giggles.

"TWACK" Tony receives another head slap from Gibbs. "It was just a game boss" he says to the angry papa bear. Gibbs snatches the M&M pack roughly from DiNozzo's hand and puts it in his baby's hand.

Robert is very happy, he says "thanksss", tries to dig the chocolate out of the bag with his index finger, then his dad helps him get the chocolate out of the bag and to his Gibbs's surprise, he slips one in his dad's mouth before putting one into his own tiny mouth.

"Red…blue…Yummy" Robert says.

"That's right Robert" he kisses the boy's sticky cheeks and Robert grins proudly, while holding the pack tightly in his fist.

Then the kid remembers Tony..."Damn" he says to his dad while pointing at Tony and Tony flinches.

"You are angry with Tony? You want daddy to smack him, Robert?" Gibbs asks his boy.

"YESSSS" says the boy, while clapping his hands excitedly.

"TWACK" and Tony gets another slap from his boss. This time it is McGee's turn to be grinning happily.

'More daddy more, yes, please" Robert is shaking in his dad's arms, enjoying the entertainment at Tony's expense.

McGee is having the time of his life, he is already eying the security camera, he is planning to record it and store it for blackmail. Dinozzo doesn't dare move from his spot, being smacked repeatedly by his boss, flinching, rubbing his head.

"More Bobby?" he asks his son who is perched on his hip.

"No daddy no" Robert says to his dad, shaking his head.

"Stop daddy, no" the boy tries to reach his dad's hand.

"No? You don't want me to hit Tony again?" Gibbs questions his boy, looking into his deep blue eyes; he thinks his son looks sad.

Robert cups his dad's face with his hands, "Poor Tony" he whispers to his dad.

McGee the audience, Tony the victim, and Gibbs the abuser are surprised by the two year old's reaction, his compassion, he definitely gets it from Kate.

"WOW Boss, he is Kate's son too" Dinozzo speaks up, still rubbing his head. WRONG SENTENCES!
"Are you saying that he is not my son Dinozzo?" Gibbs snaps at his agent.
"No, no, no, no boss! He is your son too, I mean, not that Kate is having...see!!! He slapped me" Dinozzo reminds his boss.

He almost said that Kate is not having an affair; Kate tolerates his jokes but not her husband! And his boss is damn sensitive about this specific topic.

"Ding" the elevator doors open…



Special thanks to my BETA (MV)!!!!!

As usual, thanks for the review guys! They help me, to keep on writing…Hope you like the outtakes from my KIBBS series, they are mostly humor, let me know what you think…drop me a line, please…