In the Dark, In my Soul, I do Cry for You.

Chapter 1: C'est La Vie

Lucius had a mate.

Correction. Mates.


Two of them to be precise….

Not that he knew who they were, he just knew that he had two of them.

It was like an itch on his right cheek, an ache in the bones his left hand. Things he sometimes rubbed at, but could never quite fix. It was something his mates could fix….if he ever found them. But he was fixed on never searching. He would never give into that call to just reach out with his mind and look. He had sworn to himself when he married that woman that didn't love him, but could sure as hell hurt him, that he would never get his true mates involved in the mess that was his existence….not matter how much he might need them or crave them.

Few knew that Lucius even had a "true mate"…let alone two….But the Dark Lord did, and had crucio'd Lucius for not telling him sooner. As if the two seconds between becoming a death eater and sharing his mind with the Dark Lord had been too long to hold said information. As if Lucius could even think beyond the initiation pain to tell anyone that two plus two equaled four. The only thing Voldemort hadn't done, for which Lucius would forever be grateful, was force him to reach out to them. If he couldn't see them, then no one should.

And so this is how Lucius ended up….Sitting in his study in the evening, thinking about his mates and convincing himself again just why he could never reach out beyond the passing thought and know who he was meant for.

'It's ok. I'm fine on my own. It doesn't matter.'

This had been his daily mantra for years, usually accompanied by a glass of port and a well placed locking and silencing charm on the door…just incase he yelled…which of course he didn't… because a Malfoy doesn't pine for his mates. Never.

He finished his glass, wiped the non-existent­ tears from his not-so-flushed face, and headed for his adjoining bedroom. Once there, he would take a dreamless sleep potion, dress, and then sleep the next meaningless night away. It doesn't matter.