My Heart is only a shadow...

Ok!! brand new story cuz everyone (almost) wants sakura to go akatsuki but there are no goood fanfictions about it (or none that Ive found) so here we go!

Sakura ran. Her heart was pounding hard, she could hear it in her ears. There was an aching stitch in her side, but it didn't matter, nothing mattered.

Her breathing was cold and raw. She had been running for far too long. She must be well out of sunagakure by now.

It hurt to breathe, it hurt to think, it hurt to live...

Trees vanished on all sides. The speed was intense.

No one was following her, only her memories.

Only her vivid memories...and they were deadly.

She sucked in a painful breath that came out as a gasping sob.

Raising a hand to wipe away the tears that were blurring the edges of her vision, she tripped over a tree root that was coming out of the ground.

She gasped in surprise and reached for the tree to balance herself.

It seemed her spirit had kept running and only her body remained clinging to the great oak tree.

For a moment all was still she didn't even seem to be breathing. Time stood still, the wind stopped blowing the leaves.

There were no ripples on the nearby river and most of all, there was no sound. No sound at all.

Then her shoulders shook. The first sound that came back was her ragged breathing as she sank to her knees.


Her eyes widened in horror. An entire academy class looked up at the ninja surrounding them.

"What do we do?" A ninja asked the commander.

"Heh." the female commander replied. "Isn't it obvious? If these kids head back they'll tell everyone we were here and when the next attack is."

"Yeah" said another ninja uncomfortably "but still..."

"they're just kids."

Just kids...

"So? Don't you remember what hokage-sama said?"

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"He said we should cause terror in such a way that the people of sunagakure will never forget it and that no one will dare to rise up against the leaf."

The ninjas shifted guiltily trying to come to terms with their emotions.

"So, " said one "We're only tools after all..."

They stepped forward.

they're only kids...please..

All the children screamed and rushed away madly, trying to get away from them.

There was a swish of movement, and one child was caught, a kunai sliced open his jugular and his scream faded into a gurgle as he choked on his own blood.


Tears ran down Sakura's eyes, she couldn't reveal herself, she couldn't move, she couldn't even breathe.

Screams of terror filled the air and bloody puddles covered the ground.

Oh, please... No...

Through her terror she faintly heard the voices...

"What will we do with the bodies?"

"Bury them?"

"That'll take too long. Leave them here, it will get the message across."

And they left.

Sakura felt herself drowning in blood, as sure as if she had killed them.

She ran, stumbled, and kept running.

End Flashback

She had been running for about two hours straight and now she stopped.

She bit her lip, trying to control her tears but there was no controlling them. They were like an ocean that had been pent up in a small space, ready for release.

There was no stopping them, and there was no end to them.

The leaf symbol on her forehead protector seemed to be burning a hole in her forehead.

"I'm ... not.." she said between sobs.

She hastily pulled the forehead protector off and pulled out a kunai.

"I'm not!" She shouted!

She struck the metal symbol,

The curse,

The Leaf.

"I'M NOT!" she shouted again striking harder.

"I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!"

Not a leaf ninja.

Not a murderer.

Not one of Danzo's henchmen.

I'm not one of them.

Not one of them.

"I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!

Tears flowed down her cheeks

"I'm not! Not... I'm not..."

Not one of them

Not one of them.

Not one of them.

Never. Not a leaf. No, no.

The sound of metal clanging against metal echoed through the woods.

She had stopped shouting now and bit her lip as she struck out with all her force, even as the tears continued to flow.

The leaf...

It had once meant so much...





But Tsunade was dead and Danzo had taken over the government. Naruto had contested Danzo but the elders had been unwilling to let a Jinchuuriki take over.

Now everything was gone. With the beginning of Danzo's bloodthirsty reign, Sakura began to lose her identity...

She wasn't one of them, she wasn't...

Not a leaf, not a leaf...

But a ninja, yes she was a ninja.

So what was she? Should she join another village? No!

Never a village! Not where a solitary person can have so much power...

Her kunai clanged against the metal of her forehead protector.

Where someone can play God with other peoples lives...


She kept on her mindless work with all her energy trying to stop herself from thinking too hard about what she had seen...


The word came to her suddenly, and she stopped attacking her forehead protector in surprise.

Why not? They fought to free all ninjas from attachments to villages, that much had become clear.

And that was what she wanted too...

But they were the enemies of the Leaf...

She bit her lip in sudden determination...

That was EXACTLY what she wanted.

Her eyes were on her forehead protector the entire time, but for the first time she actually saw it.

The kunai had embedded deep scars on the metal, it was impossible to tell what the symbol had once been.

Well, that was the first step. It was nothing now, not leaf, not sand, not sound...Nothing.

A pure shadow that didn't come from any source. Herself unto herself. Just a Shadow.

"My heart has become a shadow... she whispered.

Clutching the forehead protector with the now blank symbol of metal scars, she succumbed to her exhaustion.

She leaned against the tree, making plans in her head as to how to reach them, how to persuade them to let her join.

Before she knew it, she was asleep.



I stared at the ceiling and feelings I had destroyed long ago came back to me.


It was an ancient feeling, but still so familiar. The feeling to protect them.

With Orochimaru dead, I really have no reason to stay in the sound. Technically though, I don't have a reason to go back either.

All I knew was what I had heard.

Tsunade was dead, an old militarist had taken over and under his leadership, The Leaf was becoming synonymous for villainy.

How Ironic.

Naruto and Sakura are not the kind of people who let things like this lie still.

That was what worried me...

There is a rebel group within Konoha that call them selves Shiroi Kanashimi.

White Pain. An interesting name. Its members are being hunted down daily, and once discovered, tortured and then put to death.

It sounds altogether far too much like a group Naruto and Sakura would join.

If they were killed in my absence wouldn't I be just as guilty as the people who had actually killed them?

Also, the Akatsuki had not been seen in a long while, It was said that they had acquired every bijuu except for the Kyuubi, which meant that if I wanted to face Aniki my best bet would be to go back to Konoha.

I sat up, The sun had set a few hours ago and the night was still young. If I was planning to leave, why not now?

As I looked out the window a full moon shone down on me. A moon of hope, it seemed.

Perhaps they're not dead, after all.

And if I arrive only to find their graves...

At least I can go pay my respects.

I Packed a few things and headed out the window, there was no point in wandering through the hallways and having someone find out and inform Kabuto.

Concentrating my chakra, I headed down the wall and remembered when we had studied chakra control with Kakashi by climbing trees.

Sakura had been the best at that.

Getting nostalgic, are we?

It didn't matter, I would only do what I had to do and that would be the end of it.

And if I happened to assassinate Danzo and stabilize the government on my way, then so be it.

I looked at the sky once more, the moon of hope was still shining brightly, I hoped it was a good omen.

Then I ran, because I had no time to lose, if I was going to do this I might as well do it right.

A jump landed me on a tree branch and I continued my journey from the treetops.

The moon in the sky seemed to be mocking Sakura.

She had only slept four hours, but it was enough for her.

Standing up, she began to walk.

There was no question of where she was headed, she would go wherever there was news of recent activity by the Akatsuki.

For now, this meant she was headed to the mist.

She tied her forehead protector on her forehead, the blankness resonating the emptiness inside of her, and continued walking, the medicines from the sand, long forgotten.

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known

There were no more tears in her heart, only silent determination.

Don't know where it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone

She didn't need anyone for this, not Naruto or Sasuke or Kakashi-sensei.

I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams


Dreams of Peace

Dreams of Happiness

Life in Konoha

Life with Sasuke...


That was a laugh.

Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

The Forest wasn't asleep it was dead, and there was blood everywhere. She saw red. Just red. Nothing else. The only movement in the forest was her own, as she passed through the blood.

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

All alone, No one else. Just herself and her pain that no one could ever understand.

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me




Till then I'll walk alone

I don't need anyone anymore.

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I'm walking down the line

The line between lawful citizen, ninja and exiled criminal with a bounty on her head.

The line between silent slavery or freedom.

The line between my sanity and my self-preservation.

That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

This is crazy... but it's my responsibility I can never become one of them, I never want to be one of the leaf, the murderers.

Read between the lines of what's

Can't anyone see this horrible government?

fucked up and everything's all right

Can't anyone see the agony?

Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive

Alive, but dead...

And I walk alone

It's the only way to survive... alone.

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me

I need nothing else.

My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating

Is it? I can hardly tell...

Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I walk this empty street

Empty of all but myself, but I am so filled with emptiness maybe it doesn't even count.

On the Blvd. of broken dreams


Where the city sleeps


And I'm the only one and I walk a..


My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there would find me
Till then I'll walk alone!

He headed back, for her... And she was leaving for her sanity.

Will their paths cross?

And thats the end of chapter one! If anyone has any requests please let me know, thanx!


"I no longer bear any connections to the leaf, and I have come here seeking to destroy what is left. If any of you doubts my words, I will prove it with my fist."

"If she is going to be one of us she will have to learn a more graceful fighting style."