Disclaimer: Don't own nothin' at all.

Title: "Hate"

Genres: General. Maybe Angst. Maybe Romance. Who really cares, though?

Rated: PG, probably. There's a curse word. You've been warned.

Writing Tools: Microsoft Word, Windows Media player and a Pop Tart

Tunes: Only one song, this time. "True Hate" by Heavens. Matt Skiba is a God.

People: sabbath purr. I'm sure you're all familiar with her work, and if you aren't, you should be. "The Afterglow", "Consumed", "What it All Meant". And now, her latest endeavor "In The Calm of the Night". If you have any taste whatsoever, you'll check it out. Wonderful, wonderful stuff. Some of the best Ellie fiction out there. Beautiful. In fact, you should ditch this and go read that. Yeah, it's that good.

(and the Page-Break was donated by sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme… she's sexy.)

Author's Note: Quick and sloppy. Just how you likes it. I had a speaker in mind when I wrote this, but left the identity out on purpose. Just so you can feel important and make it whoever you want it to be. Written in under eleven minutes.

Read and Enjoy.

(o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o)

I hate how you smile. I hate how you make me feel. I hate how you sing along to those stupid pop songs of yours in the car. I hate how you used to whisper jokes and compliments to me, sometimes, during class. I hate your loopy writing, how you dotted your 'I's with little spirals. I hate how you laughed and how you looked in the morning, and how your eyes sparkled when you were happy or excited or joking around.

I hate how I'm in love with you.

But you're gone, now.

Banting is a world away. A world I'm not meant for, never have been, never will be. You've probably got some new guy, or maybe even a girl, to fall totally head-over-heels for you. I bet they have a nice car, sporty but not too sporty. They've got money, a nice trust fund, maybe. But they're responsible and they plan for the future and they know where they'll be in ten months or five years, or twenty, even. They'll be security. They'll be strength. They'll be intellect and good-taste and polite behavior.

And maybe you'll marry them.

Live in the nice big house, with the picket fence and the golden-fucking-retriever. 2.5 kids and a yearly net income that's more than most people will ever see in their life. And maybe you'll be happy.

I used to think the worst thing in life was the future.

Our love was a sinking ship, I used to tell myself. Best I got off when I did. Save myself some heartache, right?

But it shouldn't hurt this bad.

It shouldn't, not after all these months.

I used to think the worst thing in life was the future.

But now I hate my future, my present, and my past equally.

You always did that, you know, balance me out.

I hate how you call sometimes. I hate how you still care. I hate how you say you miss me. I hate it when my heart feels like its about to burst with all the stupid emotions you invoke. I hate how I cry, sometimes, when I think of you. I hate how you were the best thing in my life. And I hate how I can never say these things to your face. I hate that I'm a coward.

But I hate, hate, hate how I'm still in love with you.

(o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o) (o)(o)

End Notes: Hope you liked it. And, just out of curiosity, who did you guys pick as the speaker? Tell me in a review!

-Orange