A/N; I won't be posting many of these, so listen closely; This was written by Zhou-Mak and myself. It is a series of improv. letters between two of our favorite 50-year-olds. Zhou is, of course, Jiraiya, and I am Tsunade. We came up with this out of boredom, but I hope you will enjoy it anyway.

The backround; Tsunade, age 17, has been sent on a 3-year mission to the Wave. Jiraiya's parting words to her are to make her give a vow to write to him at least once a month. She agrees. Our story starts after she arrives.

I just needed something original, folks.

Disclaimer; You know it. I know it. I don't own Naruto. And, frankly, neither does Zhou-kun.

X - - x - Un-Love Letters: Wave and Leaf - x - - X

Dear baka,

I have arrived safely in Wave village. It's wet, of course, but very nice. Good crops, obviously the population aside from ninja are farmers or fishers. Nothing else much to say.

The daimyo is a very large man, with much authority (not much of a shocker), and he's a jolly fellow. A little perverse, though, if you ask me... not as much as you, but, then, who is? He's got lots of facial hair, though he is lacking such on his shiny head. I think he uses polish, but I'm not always acurate when it comes to those things.

They've set me up in a little apartment with a roomate. Her name is Koshite, and even though she looks to be about 19 or 20, her papers claim she is in her late forties... Maybe someday I'll get the secret out of her.

Ah, I am sitting here on my bed, waiting to get my first job with the daimyo. I hope I don't get any stupid B-class missions... But, I guess I can't be picky.

Koshite-san has returned, and she is requesting my assistance in some antidote-making. I hope this monthly nothing is good enough for you, baka.

Not yours,


-+-+-+-+- Two Weeks, Three Days Later -+-+-+-+-

"Tsunade-chan, you've got a letter!"

The young blonde woman poked her head out of her door frame, looking almost surprised. "For me? Really?"

"Mm-hmm. It's from a Jiraiya."

"You're kidding," she said dryly, taking the letter out of Koshite's hands. The older woman smirked. "That boy in your three-man cell?"


Koshite just laughed and walked away, leaving a confused Tsunade in her wake. Shrugging, the girl stepped back into her room, shutting the door behind her.

"What've you got to say to me now, you pervert?" she murmured, tearing the seam of the envelope.

Dear Mune-chan,

I'm glad to hear you arrived safely, I've been worried. Orochimaru says "hn." Sarutobi-sensei says hello. I say, what are Koshite-san's measurements? But honestly, you're leaving for so long. It's going to be lonely without you. (picture of young Jiraya pouting).

In a few days, Sarutobi-sensei is going to take Orochi-teme and I down to the Hokage's jutsu cellar, something about a contract. I don't really know. All I know is that he's given us about a week off. No doubt Oroch-teme's going to check out the to-be genins. And I've got to admit, there's a fine amount of talent. And from the way he's eyeing Anko-chan, I'd say you have some serious competition.

But that's not the point. I don't really have one, but you get the idea, enclosed is a new chapter of my next manga masterpiece! Great Samurai Musashi, tell me what you think of the art, it took forever.

It sounds like this daimyo fellow is an agreeable sort. Polish on his head? Don't most bald people wear rugs? Nidiame-sama did, right? Well, regardless of how old people treat their hair, I hope you come back soon. Peeping just isn't the same fun anymore without you there. (picture of young Jiraya leaning against a fence)


He who makes villians cry out in fear, he who can topple mountains with merely a flick of his finger, he who makes the darkness weep, Jiraya, the Great Shinobi.

- -

Tsunade felt a vein pop in her head. Sadly, she also felt that this would only be the first of many to come, complimentary of a pervert who wasn't even present.

- TBC -

(P.S. I've written everything that is not a letter, as well :D)