Disclaimer: I don't own a thing. Not even the computer I'm writing this on. All you'd get out of me is a weird DVD collection.
AN: My first fanfic so be gentle. But I tend to learn from my mistakes.
It was you
She was late.
She was trying to convince herself, that it was the stress. Or maybe she got the flu. But she was rarely late. And there was a chance it was what she feared it would be. They have been safe but there is only one truly safe form of contraception and she definitely hasn't used it. It has been three weeks and she finally talked herself into taking the test. It has been probably the longest two minutes in her life. And she has never been so relieved in her life like when the test turned negative. Which didn't explain the hollow feeling in her stomach. Or why she cried herself to sleep two days later when her period came. It could have been relieve of all the pressure of the last weeks. It could have been. But what if it wasn't?
She had to know.
She wanted, no needed to know. The night was a little blurry but she still remembered it. Especially the way his hands and lips and body made her feel. It was something she never experienced before so it must have been the meth. The fireworks behind her eyelids. The butterflies in her stomach and the burning on her skin seconds after he removed his fingertips from it. It was a storm from the moment she kissed him. She felt complete when he was inside her. And she was at peace afterwards. On the rare occasions she let herself think about that night she was at loss for words. Or explanations. It must have been the meth. She didn't dare to think of the other option. Because if it wasn't the meth that provided the best night in her life it must have been him. And about the reason why, she wasn't even dreaming let alone thinking.
She needed an opportunity.
She needed the answer and there was only one way she would get it. She needed to kiss him again. Without questions to follow. Without a need for an explanation. Their relationship came back to as normal as it could, mostly thank to him. And she wasn't risking it yet again. It was enough that her body had some issues with his presence, she was thankful for the relative peace of her mind. It wasn't that she couldn't stand to be too close to him. She was simply oversensitive to his presence. Every time he got near she stiffened and her heart rate was trice the normal and healthy. And when he touched her however lightly or unintentionally she flinched. Almost invisibly but still. And he must have noticed because he wasn't touching her anymore. If she started to think about it she would have to say he is avoiding her proximity. But she was too busy searching for her opportunity to kiss him to really notice.
She finally got her wish.
It was perfect. His birthday. She could kiss him on is birthday. She would get him a little present, something halfway fun and meaningless and she would kiss him. Just a little peck so she can be sure that the magic of the night was to be blamed on the meth. That was the plan. Which worked perfectly in theory. The reality was however a little more difficult. She spent days looking for the present – partially because she had little time off and partially because she had no idea what to get him. Everything she came up with was either too personal or not personal enough. And his birthday was approaching fast. She find the present eventually although it was a rather desperate choice. The closer the day got the more nervous she grew. She had second thoughts about her plan but she needed to know. Desperately. So here she was clutching a gift bag in a sweaty palm trying to will her heart into a healthier rhythm. She was aiming for a place where they won't be interrupted and she knew he would come around on his way from work. Any minute now. She was afraid. Excited. Feeling stupid. All at once. And it wasn't really helping. And suddenly he was walking her way.
"Hi." She said to get his attention. He responded with "hey" and a rather surprised look.
"Happy birthday." She said and handed him the slightly demolished bag. And the surprise in his eyes grew even more. She took in a deep breath and before he could say a word or look what was in the bag, she took a step towards him and gave him a peck on lips. Then she clutched on his shoulders for support. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her body to his. She had a perfect plan. Plan that backfired the moment their lips touched. Because there it was again. The butterflies in her stomach. The fireworks behind her eyelids. And her lips glued to his. He didn't move the tiniest bit. Well except for his mouth opening up to welcome her tongue. She had no idea how long it took for her to abandon the perfection that was their kiss for serious need of oxygen. She pulled back only enough to look in his eyes.
"It was you:" she couldn't believe it. She was so wrapped up in her discovery that she didn't notice the stiffness of his body nor the shock in his eyes. She was lost in their blue depths, amazed and move closer for another kiss but this time he backed away.
"Are you okay?" At first she didn't understand but it hit her after a moment. He was looking at her with concern in his eyes, searching for some kind of clues for whether it was happening again. But he found none.
"I've never been better." She smiled at him and this time he met her half way when she leaned in for the kiss. His arms went around her waist and she realized that there were questions in his eyes. They needed to talk. And they would talk. Later. Definitely later. That was her last coherent thought before the magic kicked in again. The next one took its time in coming. A lot of time. A lot of beautifully spent, delicious time.