Ash kills many pokemon

Ash kills many pokemon

(Yeah, it's a lame title, but the whole idea of Ash doing something like that is lame)

By Farla (who LIKES POKEMON! I! Like! Pokemon! I DON"T hate them!)

I like pokemon. Some people (who are usually insane) hate pokemon. For the hell of it, I'm writing an anti-pokemon fic right now. Why? Because I have yet to read an anti-pokemon story that was not badly (OK, horribly) written. Is this because the writers are stupid as well as insane? Or because the subject matter is so hard that the fic comes out bad?

Well, I'm going to find out. If this story comes out reasonably good (considering it involves pokemon dying, a lack of originality and an author who thinks the very idea is crazy) then every person who has written a bad anti-pokemon story can be safely written off as a moron who's views should be ignored.

I will try to make this story make a tiny bit of sense, even though very idea of Ash killing pokemon doesn't. Please don't think my stories are normally this bad. I'm just doing this to see if it can be done, not to make it a good story. I have never, and hope to never again have to write this kind of story.

One day Ash Ketchem (not ass or any other lame parody of him) was walking along with his two friends, Misty and Brock (again, no lame parodies). Ash suddenly tripped and fell, hitting his head on a rock with a sickening crack.

Ash got up without a sound. A few drops of blood showed on his forehead, which was already turning purple.

"Ash, are you all right?" asked Misty nervously.

"Yeah Ash, you hit that rock pretty hard," added a concerned Brock

Ash looked at them without comment for a few moments, then leaned down and picked up a medium-sized rock in each hand. He looked both of his friends in their eyes, then smashed the rocks into their heads. They both fainted.

Ash smiled. He then dragged them to a nearby cliff (Yeah, it's dumb, but the only other deaths I could think of were drowning them by throwing them in a lake-which would probably wake them up- or tying them up and burning them, which was just too nasty) and, after removing their pokeballs, threw them over the edge.

Ash cheerfully built a large campfire, and tossed the pokeballs in. He smiled again as he watched the pokeballs burn. (I don't know if pokeballs can even burn, but I'd rather he burn them then smash them open and brutally kill each pokemon inside)

Ash stared at the fire well into the night, as the massive hemorrhaging in his brain continued. The amount of damage done when he first hit his head was so great he should have dies instantly, but by luck (well, kind of) his now severely destroyed brain could still function long enough to do the exact opposite of what his former self would have done.

He was dead before dawn.

::shudders:: I can't believe I just wrote that…it's even harder to think that I'm going to actually submit this…::shudders again::

Once again, I like pokemon. I'm only writing this to prove that all anti-pokemon fics that are written badly were done by morons. If I, who likes pokemon, can write a halfway decent (grammar, spelling, and a plot-a dumb one, but a plot) fic about Ash killing Misty, Brock, and all their pokemon, then the people who actually believe this junk should be able to do a better job (Unless they're idiots who don't know anything about writing in the first place.). This story has reasonably good spelling and grammar, and the plot (gasp!) actually makes partial sense.

I wrote this in less then an hour. I have never written anything like this before, and I don't believe that Ash would ever do something like this, yet in my own opinion, this fic is better then many people who have written more then one of these and believe it should happen.

So, what did you think of my first (and hopefully last) Ash kills many pokemon story? (Other then it would never happen and the idea of Ash killing his friends is awful)