What to do at the SGC when you're Bored…Chapter 2

A/N – Wow. Thanks for the wonderful feedback. To all those people who want this to continue I have a nice little surprise. I sat down a couple days ago and thought up at least 3 more potential chapters. Hope you enjoy them! And special thanks to Cindy for the one about Ba'al!

To listen to small clips of all the songs just go to and search for either the song title or the artist and you should find them


When the first list was ripped down to hide it from Kinsley's inspection a new one was started...Theme Songs.

General Hammond

"Master of Puppets" – Metallica

Sam: Jack, you can tell Thor to beam you back down now, General Hammond's gone off base.


"Love Potion #9" – The Clovers

Jack: Ok, ok. Men are idiots. You happy now Janet?

Janet: No. You've still missed your check-up Jack.

The Goaul'd

"And Another One Bites the Dust" – Queen

Daniel: Can someone please stop Walter from playing this song again?

Siler: Already tried. He's got several copies of it hidden all around the base.

Daniel: Hopefully he runs out of copies before we run out of Goaul'd.

Vala Mal Doran

"Man, I feel like a Woman" – Shania Twain

Vala: You got that right!

Daniel: Vala! Stop using my credit card to buy clothes!

Vala: You didn't mind last night.

Daniel: I didn't notice the clothes. Were you wearing some?

Jack: Danny…


"Mission Impossible Theme" – Lalo Schifrin

Daniel: Goddamit Jack! Now you've got that song stuck in my head.

Sam: And Teal'c has been humming it all day.


"Ghostbusters" – Ray Parker Jr.

Elizabeth: This isn't an improvement over calling them space-vampires John.

John: But Elizabeth

Elizabeth: Call them wraith. And Rodney, stop grinning.

Samantha Carter

"Extraordinary Girl" – Green Day

Sam: Nice try Jack. You're still not forgiven for messing with my lab equipment.


"The Thing That Should Not Be" – Metallica

Cameron: Who's the one lending Jack, Metallica CD's?

Jack: Who says they're not mine.

Cameron: Alrighty then.

Daniel Jackson

"Before I'm Dead" – Kidney Thieves

Daniel: What is with you people? I haven't died that many times.

Jack: Well, there was the time on Abydos, the time the Nox resurrected you, the two times you ascended…

Daniel: Shut up Jack.

Radek Zelenka

"Weird Science" – Onigo Boingo

Rodney: At least he hasn't tried making lightsabers yet.

John: Aren't you concerned though about those weird noises coming from his lab?

Rodney: What weird noises? RADEK!

Radek: Běh pryč Rodney! A držet hubu.

Carson Beckett

"Doctor, Doctor" – The Who

Carson: And I don't just get the normal injuries either.

Rodney: Can we please stop talking about the arrow incident!

Rodney McKay

"It's Great to be a Nerd" – Arrogant Worms

Rodney: I am not a nerd. I am a geek. There is a difference.

John: You're a part of Mensa, Rodney. And you throw a tantrum if someone touches your laptop.

Rodney: Go away.


"Macavity" – CATS, Andrew Lloyd Webber

Sam: The problem isn't that Ba'al's not there. It's the fact that Ba'al's always there.

Daniel: Ba'al isn't ginger red though Sam.

Ba'al: What kind of villain has red hair?

Sam: Get him!

Jack: Which one?

Jack O'Neill

"Low Rider" – War

Daniel: Jack, nothing actually happened while Anise was here, right?

Jack: whistles


"I Will Survive" – Gloria Gaynor

Jack: Seriously not funny people. This is what is called tempting fate.

Jonas Quinn

"Pretty Fly (for a White Guy) – Offspring

Jonas: I really need to spend more time on Earth.

Daniel: You were here for a year Jonas.

Jonas: But I still don't understand you guys at all sometimes.

Sam: If it's any consolation, we still don't understand Walter at all apparently.

Siler: At least I found this CD so he can't play it.

Daniel: Where was it?

Siler: Underneath the Gate. Along with the CATS musical recording.

Walter Harriman

"Taps" –

Jack: I don't get it.

Siler: He's always the last one to leave at the end of the day. And he's been here longer than anyone else I think.

John Sheppard

"Secret Agent Man" – Johnny Rivers

John: I can live with it.

Rodney: What's wrong with it?

John: Absolutely nothing. I thought someone was going to say the theme from "Star Trek: The Original Series".

Teyla Emmagan

"Kung Fu Fighting" - Carl Douglas

Rodney: Where did Radek get the corny Kung-Fu movies from?

Radek: Už to mám je dle člen určitý Deadalus. Kde činit tebe cenit Už to mám je dle? Člen určitý magický film teplý? Blbec.

Rodney: You insulted me again didn't you?

John: Just give it up Rodney – he's never going to tell you what he said. Just go learn Czech like everyone else.

Ronon Dex

"Where the Streets Have No Name" – U2

Teyla: We must really start paying more attention to Earth culture Ronon.

Elizabeth Weir

"The Woman Song" – Sean Morey

Elizabeth: I'm not sure whether to be flattered or insulted Colonel Caldwell.

Rodney: Be insulted. Then we can watch you yell at someone besides me and John for a change.


"Slime Creatures from Outer Space" - Weird Al Yankovic

Elizabeth: JOHN!

John: C'mon Elizabeth. How can you not like Weird Al Yankovic?

Carson: He has a very good point. Even if the wraith aren't slimy.


"Killer Robots from Venus"– Arrogant Worms

Thor: The replicators did not originate in your solar system. And what are 'arrogant worms"?

Jack: grins

Daniel: No Jack. You're not allowed to corrupt the Asgard with our music.

Jack: Spoilsport.

Michael Kenmore

"Eye of the Beholder" – Metallica

Carson: Tha' song is very appropriate John. I did'na know you had such a moralistic side.

John: It wasn't me Doc.

Carson: But you're the only one who listen's to Metallica on Atlantis.

Michael: We did not only download the location of Earth from your database.

John: Dammit! How the hell does he keep getting in here!

Michael: That is for me to know, and you to never find out.

John: Security!


"Faraway" – Apocalyptica

Sam: That is a good song.

Teal'c: Indeed it is.

Cameron Mitchell

"I Need a Hero" – Chris Rice

Jack: Teal'c, was this one you?

Teal'c: It was I, O'Neill.

Cameron: I'm not always the hero.

Sam: Oh really?

Aidan Ford

"New Kid (On the Block)" – Barenaked Ladies

Aidan: Hey! I'm not a kid anymore.

Elizabeth: At least you don't act like a child anymore. Unlike two people I know of.

Rodney and John: HEY!

Laura Cadman

"Kissin Dynamite" – AC/DC

Laura: Where the hell is he?

Carson: Who love?

Rodney: She means me. I'm in hiding.

John: Ah, so you were the idiot who put this up.

Rodney: I am not an idiot.

Radek: Apparently you don't value staying alive. Hloupý blbec. Aby chlad počasí do tvůj kraj musit mít zabˇtě málo inteligence buňka.

Elizabeth: Play nicely children.

General Landry

"I Just Can't Wait to be King" – Elton John

General Landry: Mitchell, this is not amusing.

Cameron: But you are King of the base now Sir.

Cassandra Frasier

"100 Years" – Five for Fighting

Cassandra: Does this have something to do with that weird time-traveling back to the Hippie Age?

Jack: Now who told you about that?

Cassandra: No one

Oma Desala

"Firebird Suite" – Stravinsky

Jack: Too bad old Oma couldn't be here.

Daniel: Stop grinning while you say it and I may believe you.

Steven Caldwell

"Stick to your Guns" – Bon Jovi

Ronon: This sounds more like me.

John: Trust me Ronon, it's not.


"Pay the Devil" – Van Morrison

Lindsey Novak: I don't care what you pay me, that man is never going to be allowed to look around the Deadalus ever again.

Hermiod: I concur. He was most annoying.


"My Immortal" – Evanescence

Sam: It was really too bad he wasn't immortal.

Jack: Ya, for a snake-head he wasn't so bad.


"Nothing But Trouble" – Al

Jack: SAM!

Sam: Wasn't me this time Sir.


Robert Kinsey

"Politicians" – Emanon

Daniel: I rescind every comment I've had about Walter's taste in music.

Charles Kawalsky

"Nice Guys Finish Last" – Green Day

Jack: No, don't tell me. It's that goddam mirror again. I thought it was supposed to be secure in Area 51.

Apophis: I have persevered with the aid of the incompetent, foolish Tau'ri.

Jack: Why can't we just keep him dead for once?!


Here are the translations of what Radek is saying in this chapter. I do not know how accurate the internet translator I used is, so please don't hurt me if it's really bad. Thanks for reading!

Běh pryč Rodney! A držet hubu. - Go away Rodney! And shut up.

Už to mám je dle člen určitý Deadalus. Kde činit tebe cenit Už to mám je dle? Člen určitý magický film teplý? Blbec - I got them from the Deadalus. Where do you think I got them from? The magical movie fairy? Idiot.

Hloupý blbec. Aby chlad počasí do tvůj kraj musit mít zabˇtě málo inteligence buňka. - Stupid idiot. That cold weather in your country must have killed a few brain cells.