i do not own harry potter.

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SUMMERY : this story is a look back at how harry potter tells the wizarding world to screw you. it looks at these event from 20 years in the future. an be warned there are not as many flashback chapters as i had hoped for but a few full flashback chapters.

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A.N. i personally believe that you can not thank god for the good things without also blaming him/her/it for the bad things as well. either god is all powerful and in our lives everyday or he/she/it is a hands off god. a god who only created us and the bible then took a hands off aproach to overseeing to his/her/it's creation. everyone wants to thank god for all the good but blame the devil for all the bad. well if god is all powerful but takes a hands off idea about man than he gets no blame but no credit as well. you can not have it both ways, either god is all powerful and in our lives all the time and responsable for the good and the bad or god is all powerful but a hands off god an there for gets no credit or blame. there is no blame the devil for the bad and thank god for the good not if you think god is truely all powerful. either god gets credit and blame for everything or god get gets credit and blame as well for nothing because an all powerful god could prevent the bad things from happening. an yes i know you can not have sunny days without rainy days because then you would not be thankful for the sunny days. which still takes us right back to god being to blame for the rainy days no matter how much we may need them, so that we will be thankful for the sunny days.

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this story starts on the morning of july 31, 2015. location high priced hotel in florida. time is 6 a.m.

knock, knock, harry rolls over regretting what he knows is coming when he sees the time.

"mom, dad, time to get up." states kyle as he starts jupming on the bed.

"no it is not. an who are you?" asks harry. of course he knew just who it was, namely his 11 year old twin boys stone and kyle. but at 6 a.m. harry was not going to get up if he did not have to, an since he is the father he does not have to unless his wife jen says so. so harry decided to do to the boys the same thing he did when they were 6 an tried to get him and jen up at 6 a.m. on christmas, an that is to play stupid. there is only one 6 o'clock in each day an it is not in the morning.

"oh no, you know who we are and what day it is too, our birthday." stated stone matter of factly.

"no i have no clue as to who YOU are, but i would like to get to know this lovely young lady sleeping in my bed." replied harry

"eeeewww, dad. i mean yes we know where babies come from an all but we do not want to hear that kind of thing from our parents." said kyle.

" an before you say it, as for us being late for the rides or anything, we are staying at the hotel on the park grounds. which means we get in an hour before everyone else. so there is no way everyone else will be on all the best rides before us. so you will leave for at least the next 2 hours so i can get to know this strange man sleeping in my bed." stated jen.

"eeewwww, not you too mom. an i thought you were the the sane one?" questioned stone. " well lets go kyle looks like we are on our own for breakfast. so i guess we will just have to call room service an order everything on the menu."

an with that the boys left the room. an harry turned to his wife an said. " honey i have something to tell you."

"dear i think that is supposed to be my line. an normally it comes right before the words 'i an pregnet'. oh oh oh your pregent we will be rich. the first man to be pregent. ooohhhh i do NOT want to even think where that baby will be coming out of, that is REALLY gonna hurt." said jen.

"honey i love you, but not that much. BECAUSE YES THAT WOULD really hurt." replied harry he then spent the next hour telling her about the wizarding world, an the chance that since he is a wizard that is sons may be as well. even thou they showed no signs of it if they get letters to a wizarding school they should show up today. since normally they are sent out as an 11th birthday present.

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7 a.m. harry's hotel room.

"mom, dad, foods here, an they sent us a witch to eat it with us." called stone threw the bedroom door.

"tell her NO magic in the house without parental consent." stated harry as he picked up his wand and headed to leave the bedroom.

"ah man, i did not know you could have breakfast with the characters. but why did they have to send the wicked witch of the north. i mean why could they not sent donald duck or snoopy or even scooby doo, heck i would have been happy with even minnie mouse over her." stated kyle.

"first off young man,you need to read more because glenda was the good witch of the north. the wicked witches were from the east and west. an as far as becoming donald duck or scooby doo or even minnie mouse i think i can handle that." said the woman.

" ah but dad it would be so cool if she could do it." stated kyle.

" she can do it, an i said no human to animal transfiguration in the house without parental consent." replied harry as he went and changed the coffee table into a pig and back.

"i take it i will not be leaving here with my memory in tact if i can not prove who i am then." stated the woman.

" that is correct." replied harry.

" well then i am headmistress anna cole of the salem instute. an these two young men are kyle and stone nighthawk normally of boston. an here in florida on vacation. an you would be harry nighthawk there father. i was wondering mr. nighthawk if you might be able to help me out with a problem. there is a headmistress at a school called hogwarts, an she thinks that if a man named harry potter has magical children that they should go to her school. " stated headmistess cole.

" i am sorry headmistress but i have been out of the wizarding world for almost 20 years, an there for have not seen any witches or wizards in all that time other then my sons." stated harry to headmistress cole.

" well then it looks as if i will just have to put up with that woman writing my every year until one of us die then. so do you wish to tell your family about your life story or should we just wait for them to read it in the morning paper?" asked headmistress cole.

" i think i should tell them, that way they at least get the trueth instead of a bunch of crap only written to sell pepers." stated harry as he sat down an began to tell them of the true life of one harry james potter worts and all.

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several hours later.

" wow dad i can not believe you went threw all that abuse an lived. i mean even if you do like pain that is just unbelivable that you could still be alive. personally i think i would have had those weasely twins make up some sort of prank that would have turned those people into toads or something until the counter spell was done then dropped them off at the nearest lake. that way you do not get caught for underaged magic." stated stone.

" now see son, now you are beginning to think like your grandfather james. how can i pull off a prank an get away with it." said harry.

" harry you WILL NOT encurage our children to pull pranks on people. do you have any idea of the harm that could do to the person being pranked? that could end up being the final straw that sends them over the edge an causes them to either kill themselves or kill someone else. don't you think that the teacher you had names snape had mental problems from being on the wrong end of all your fathers pranks, an there for took it out on you? so if you want to get into a prank war with someone that is fine, as long as everyone involved is in agreement. BUT if a catch you or the boys pulling so much as one prank on someone who was not a willing member of some prank war you will NOT be a happy camper. do i make my self clear?" asked jen.

" yes dear. i would never encourage our children to pull pranks on their fellow classmates." stated harry.

" now that is good mr. nighthawk because we use goblin truth serum to catch little pranksters at salem. an if any little pranksters decide to try an pull anything on the staff we feel payback is better then any detention." stated headmistress cole.

" yah but to prank them back you need to catch them at it,or have parental consent to use truth potions or truth spells an i do not give you permision to use any truth potion or truth charms on my boys." replied harry.

" an what if i, there mother does give her permission mister smarty pants." said jen.

" well dear, since you are a non-magical parent you can not give permission for anything. an before you go an yell at me, it was the international confederation of wizards idea to take away the right of non-magical parents in 1472, which was only 22 years after the founding of the interntional confederation of wizards an became the biggest law passed to date. when a 16 year old muggleborn who was not trained by orders of his parents got mad and started a fire with accidental magic. that fire claimed the lives of 148 people before it could be put out. there is also the fact that as a woman you have no legal right in the wizarding world, the consider you and the boys as my property just as a chicken or a cow would be." said harry.

" WHAT!! you have to be kidding me." yelled jen.

" sorry to say but your husband is not kidding. non-magical parents do not have a say in weather their children get a magical education or not. nor do women have the right to vote or own land. only white landowning males have the right to vote. also all women are considered property of their head of family be that their father or oldest brother or some other male family member until after the wedding when they then become property of their husband. an yes we have aranged marrages and doweries too. an if a child refuses to marry the person picked for them then they can be kicked out of the family. were in they would then have no last name and would never be likely to ever find someone else to marry them due to the shame it would bring to the family. an before you ask the only way for a woman to gain any kind of power is for her to be the last of her family line, an even then she is supposed to marry an turn that power over to her new husband. an the only woman i have heard of to directly go against this was about 20 years ago in england there was a high ranking woman in the goverment named umbridge who was the last of her line an refused to marry an used her family power to get the job in the ministry of magic. so even thou the job was a real job in title only she was the first to stand up for women, of course when the men finally figured out she was never going to marry they had her tossed in the mental ward at the local hospital an spit up her families property's. " said headmistress cole.

" then how is it that you are the headmistress of the school then?" asked jen.

" well after my arranged marrage to my husband, he decided that i should get a job to pull my own weight. an due to the very limited jobs out there for women i decided to become a teacher. an i worked my way up to the top after many long hard years of being passed over by fools who knew much less about the proper way to run the school then me. in the end the board of govenors decided to give me a try an if i did not work out they would just close the school. an i have been headmistess ever since, an that was 48 years ago." stated headmistress cole.

" now lets get back to a better topic. what was this " you were saying about pranking teachers is allowed? " asked harry hoping to change the subject before his wife could lead a full scale woman's rights movement on the wizarding world. an it is not that harry was against women or ANY being having the right to vote but the more noise his wife would make about it the more likely people would start digging into harry nighthawks life an figure out that harry nighthawk was just a made up name. it would be safer to have these ideas start elsewhere such as england using the name harry potter an his soon to be proxies the weasely twin's. because yes harry is going to use the fact he is heir to 3 of the founders of hogwarts to shake up the wizarding world.

" yes students are allowed to prank teachers. but as i said if the student gets caught each and every teacher gets to prank the student." stated headmistress cole.

" then i will make you a bet. 1,000 gallions for every time my boys get caught pulling a prank." said harry.

" are we talking a 1,000 gallions total per prank or a 1,000 gallions per child per prank?" asked geadmistress cole.

"per child of course." replied harry.

" darling what is the exchange rate for gallions to dollars?" asked a very worried jen.

" i think it should be about 10 dollars to the gallion, why?" asked harry.

" so you are betting this woman 10,000 dollars times 2 children which is 20,000 dollars per prank that they will not get caught. ARE YOU NUTS?!" yelled jen.

" no dear i am not nuts. an before you ask we can more then afford for them to get caught. since when i left england i had just over 500 million gallions in the bank, which is about 5 billion dollars. so we can more then afford for the boys to get caught everyday for the whole 7 years they are there." replied harry very calmly.

" 5 BILLION DOLLARS?!" yells jen in shock.

" yes dear 5 billion dollars, of course that was almost 20 years ago now so it is most likely more like 50 billion dollars by now." said harry as thou this was no big deal to be talking about cash amounts in the billions.

" 50 billion dollars?" asked jen who was near to passing out. since last she checked their accounts at the bank were only like 5 million dollars at most.

" yes dear, now before you pass out i think we should move on to other things to get your mind off money. unless you are thinking about buying me an island for my birthday, in which case i hear cuba is a nice place. now headmistress do you have a quiditch team at the school?" asked harry.

" well if you are thinking about buying your sons way onto a team you can forget about it. it does not matter how many gallions you have that would never happen as long as i am headmistress." stated headmistress cole.

" of course not. i would never think of such a thing. if my boys tried out for a team they would earn a spot just like everyone else." said harry.

" we do have one team. they play against the other 3 schools here in north america. since we only have about 140 students per school at any given time. we each field one full team plus a reserve team in case of accidents. of course we would have more students but with costs going up all the time we then have to charge more per student which then forces the parents to try an find a cheaper school. which as a result mean even fewer students per year. an thereby we have had to cut back on staff which would include the flying instuctor, an without a flying instutor to coach or money to buy newer brooms the quiditch team have not done as well in the games against the other schools." said headmistress cole.

" i am gonna make you an offer you can't refuse headmistress. an that offer is that i will take the job of flying instuctor for free AND buy everyone on your quiditch team a brand new top of the line broom. plus make a 1 million gallion a year donation to the school for every year my sons go to your school." said harry.

" an what do you get out of this deal mr. nighthawk?" questions headmistress cole who could not believe what she was hearing and had to do everything she could to keep from jumping for joy at this idea.

" i get to see to it that my lovely wife is not parted from her children for over 9 monthes a year." replied harry.

" what my stupid husband, who watches to many movies really ment was, he wants to make sure that our sons do not get caught pulling any pranks on the teachers. oh an by the way i think he has been waiting about 10 years for a chance to use that line from the godfather, so please humor the insane fool i call a husband, who seems to think nothing about giving away 10 million dollars a year just so he can help his children play pranks." supplied jen before anyone could say anything else.

now of course during this whole time stone and kyle are just sitting back and watching since their father is making a deal that would make it so they can prank the teachers.

" well mrs. nighthawk IF i took the insane fool as you put it, up on his offer then you would need something to do? now since you are a muggle an i am in need of a muggle studies teacher would you be willing to take the job?" asked headmistress cole.

" that would depend, how would i protect myself from anyone wanting to curse me since i am a muggle, and just what is muggle studies?" questioned jen.

" as far as protection goes i think i could afford to let you borrow a few house elves as body guards. an muggle studies is the study of muggles and the things they create. to make it so a wizard or witch who wanted to go into the muggle world would not stick out to much and jump at the slightest thing. for the most part you would just teach them to pass as a muggle." responded headmistress cole.

" since the insane fool here is getting a job at the school i may as well too. seeing as someone needs to keep an eye on all 3 of my children. mainly the big one who calls himself an adult." responded jen while looking at harry as if he WAS in fact one of the children.

" i have never called myself an adult, thank you very much." stated a rather annoyed harry.

" then it would seem we have ourselves a deal. this is the booklist which also works as a portkey. it will take you to the alley to do your shopping when those listed on it namely stone and kyle touch it and you all say wicked alley. it will also bring you back to where ever you left from when you say home. so if you leave from here it will bring you back here and if you leave from your home in boston it would take you there. it will also take you to the school by saying salem instute but do not worry about it leaving by mistake as you can see i said all 3 key words an i am still here, because as i said stone and or kyle must be touching it for it to work. now school starts on the first of september but as teacher you will need to be there one week before then. oh an since we will be working together you all can call me anna." stated headmistress cole as she put the book list on the table an headed for the door.

" it looks like we have a question to now answer. do we go to the park for the rest of the day or do we go check out this wicked alley?" questioned harry, of course it was in truth a stupid question but did have to be asked anyway.

" WICKED ALLEY!!" yelled the other 3 at the same time.