This is it, the last chapter! And perhaps my last story for a while. You'll see why at the very end. Do read and enjoy, though!
Home is Where the Heart is
(or lack of thereof!)
Inutaisho once again held all of his and Izayoi's bags in his hands. As soon as Izayoi was inside the door, she ran over to Inuyasha and started kissing him all over his face. "Oh, my sweet, sweet baby boy!"She cooed. She pressed Inuyasha's head into her breasts and squeezed him tight. "Has my wittle puppy-wuppy been a good boy? Hm? Has my wittle Yashy been a good boy? I bet you have! I bet you have!" Sesshomaru started gagging; Inutaisho actually threw up in one of the plants. Inuyasha could only wait his mother's fussing out.
When she'd nearly hugged the poor child to death, she let go of him. "Well, it's nice to know that you two hadn't killed each other. I really expected to come home to a murder scene." "Nice to know you trust me," Sesshomaru muttered. Inutaisho came over and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Good work son! Proud of ya! Had it been me, I would've ditched the child a long time ago and went to that...now what was that event that all you young'ns go to...oh yeah, Woodstock!" "Woodstock?!" Sesshomaru shrieked. "Dad, it's Spring Bling (which I've missed!), not Woodstock? How old do you think I am?" Inutaisho put a finger to his chin and thought about it. "Well, I can't actually tell you that, son. I mean, it's hard enough keeping up with my own birthday, let alone yours or anyone elses."
At this, Izayoi turned cold eyes to him. "Oh, so that's why you've forgotten my birthday twelve years straight! And why you've forgotten our aniversary for the past three hundred years! How the hell do you forget such important dates? The day your eldest son was born? The day our family became whole with Inuyasha?" Inutaisho stared at her. "For me, the family was complete after I killed my first mate--I mean, she died in a freak...um...blender accident and it was just Sesshomaru and me. The rest of you are just bonuses." Izayoi gasped, then slapped him. "You bastard!" "Yep, never knew my father." Inutaisho said, shaking his head. "But hey, I must love you in order to have put up with everything we've been through. I didn't have to revive you after Takemaru killed you. Oh, and I found out through your cousin that you were going with him while you were going with me. With that said, I want you to stop riding my ass about commitment."
Listening to this senseless bickering was giving Sesshomaru another headache. He popped some of the asprin he'd brought from the gas station. Suddenly, his father stopped arguing with Izayoi and stared at him. "Holy shit, Sessh! I just now realized it, but what the fuck happened to you? All that green...no way! You're the incredible Hulk! So uh...I guess it wouldn't really hurt you if I did this, would it?" Here he shoved Sesshomaru hard enough to send him flying into the farthest wall in the room. The cracking plaster followed him as he slid to the floor. "No, dad. I'm perfectly okay," he said in a weak voice. Inutaisho had felt charged doing that to Sesshomaru. He couldn't wait to get back to their "training" sessions.
Izayoi went into the kitchen and brought back a wet dish towel. She tried to wipe Sesshomaru's face, but he struggled much like a child. "Fine! Go around looking nasty!" She threw the towel down in a huff. That word was new to Sesshomaru, nasty. Not that he hadn't heard it before, but it'd never been directed toward him. Nasty...that's a powerful word! When you really think about it, to be called nasty is...degrading! He grabbed the towel and washed his face, then tried to use it to shine his boots, but it was too late for them. Away they had to go.
"Inuyasha, you owe me a pair of boots," Sesshomaru sniffed as he took them off. As soon as the first one was off, Inutaisho began gagging. "Oh, for the love of Diana Ross, put that back on! Between the smell and the fact that your toes look like they havn't seen the light of day in forever, I'm about to lose everything I've ever eaten!" Sesshomaru cast him a look. "This is a really emotional moment for me! Can't I have a little sympathy?" "For your toes, yes. For you? I'll take that as a rhetorical question." Still, Sesshomaru took the other one off.
Sesshomaru tried to wiggle his toes but they wouldn't bend. "They look like the knarled roots of a tree," Inuyasha commented. Everyone nodded in agreement. "You know, my physician friend, Suikotsu, can take care of that for you," Inutaisho said. "He's a physician, you say," Izayoi mumbled to herself, a small smile playing at her face. Sesshomaru just shook his head. "No dad. If I altered my body because the world doesn't like what I look like, I'd never be happy." Inutaisho stared at him. "Son, there's a difference between getting cologen at the age of thirty-five when you don't need it (like Izayoi), and getting problems like that taken care of. If I had've known your toes looked like that, I never would have entered you in the Beautiful Boshounen contests. Beautiful people don't hang out with ugly people, unless they're standing next to one to make themselves look even better. Like me standing next to you!" Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at him.
Inuyasha didn't understand their obsession with looks. "God made all of us in his own image," he declared proudly. "Who the fuck taught you that?" Inutaisho snapped. "M-mother," Inuyasha stammered. "Your mother only told you that to make you feel better," Inutaisho said. "Besides, we're Buddhists. Who the fuck is God?" Inuyasha's head dipped. Sesshomaru was right, everything he'd been taught was fake.
So said demon grabbed his boots and carried them to the kitchen. They followed him to where he stood in front of the trash can. "We are gathered here today to say goodbye to some very dear friends of mine," he started. "I was still a pup when I met them, but they stayed with me long after I became a man. And for that, I'm thankful." A tear fell from his face as he dropped the shoes in the can. Izayoi started humming Amazing Grace in a deep, rich, un-Japanese like voice. Sounded like she should have been cooking up some greens and corn bread along with it.
After the "ceremony", they all parted their seperate ways. Inutaisho headed out to the back patio to where the jacuzzi was at. Inuyasha went back to his room to where Kama Sutra was still at, Sesshomaru went into the den to get on the computer there and see if Kagura was on-line on Myspace, and Izayoi figured she'd finish the laundry, since Sesshomaru never did it.
As soon as she entered the room, she screamed. Inutaisho ran in from outside, wearing nothing but boxers, Inuyasha looked between the book and the door, torn between answering his mother's scream or continuing to read. He chose to keep reading. Sesshomaru quickly tried to delete the porn ads that had popped up before anyone walked in. As soon as they were gone, he ran to see what the fuss was about. In the laundry room, it was evident what the problem was.
"What in the hell happened to the wall?!" Izayoi screamed. The hole that Inuyasha had made when he'd blasted Sesshomaru through it was still there. "Inuyasha did it," Sesshomaru said. She looked at him. "What? It's the truth. We've been trying to tell you that that kid's bad as hell. He climbed in the dryer with some of my things and when he got out, he had these...powers that could blast people through stuff." Izayoi and Inutaisho looked at one another, then burst out laughing. "Oh, that's a good one, Sessh! 'Inuyasha has powers', yeah right!" Inutaisho said, falling over from laughing too hard. Izayoi was nearly doing the same.
"Okay, so if he didn't do it, who did?" Sesshomaru said in an offended tone. "Why, you did!" Izayoi said. "You know that doing laundry is the only thing that keeps me from going insane. That and Prozac. With the washer and dryer going, I can block out the sound of you guys. You decided that you'd get revenge on me for making you watch Inuyasha rather than letting you go and apply for joining the Disney channel summer games." Sesshomaru face-palmed. Woodstock, Disney channel. I'm too young for one and too old for the other! Nine-hundred is not that old compared to Mathusala. Wait, that's a Bible character. How do I know that?!
"Look, if you don't believe me, I'll show you," Sesshomaru said to them. "Oh, now it's the great, 'I'll show you' scam. Have some honor and just admit it," Inutaisho said. Sesshomaru ignored him and led them up the stairs to Inuyasha's room. They entered to find the boy mere centimeters away from the pages. He looked up in shock, too engrossed with the book to hear them coming. "Oh, mom! Dad! How nice of you to visit me...here in my room." Sesshomaru walked up to him and picked him up by the scruff of his collar. Using his other hand, he rubbed it on Inuyasha's head. The static blue electricity started to build up there, then spread to the rest of his body. A moment later, a discharge went off, blowing out all of the windows in the room.
Izayoi stared at him. "So it was you! How dare you wreck the only thing that gives mommy pleasure anymore! I need that laundry room! And what's this?!" She looked at the book he'd been reading. "Pornography?! So now you're turning into your father?!" At the mention of his title, Inutaisho began to quietly slip out of the room. Izayoi pulled a belt from the inside of her kimono. I don't think it's normal to carry a belt in your kimono, but...yeah. Sesshomaru decided to get a front-row seat on the bed to what he'd been hoping to see for forever. Izayoi grabbed Inuyasha's arm, raised the belt in her other hand, and quickly brought it back down.
The impact that followed couldn't adequetly be called a slap. It was more like a tap to Inuyasha. But he hollered for all the world to hear anyways. "Oweeee! No, please don't hit me again! I'm sorry! Please don't do this!" "Hush, Inuyasha!" his mother said. "The Ladies Society won't make me an honorary member if they think I abuse you!" Sesshomaru dropped the popcorn that he'd mysteriously gotten. "Wait, that's it? No dodging morning stars or being put on the arm and leg stretcher?" Izayoi stared at him. "What, you want me to kill him?" "That's what dad does to me everytime I do something wrong. Either that or he re-introduces me to Muhammad and Mike, his fists."
Soon after this, the place settled into its old self again. Inuyasha went back to reading his book (why Izayoi never took it away from him, Buddah only knows), Inutaisho went back to the jacuzzi, Sesshomaru magicaly repaired the laudry room wall for fear of his father's wrath, then went back to searching for Kagura on-line, and Izayoi gleefuly unwrapped another Dove chocolate bar, talking about it was "Shoeshopping, hangging the un-house broken dog, having sex with a chippendale dancer good." But Inutaisho finally noticed something out of the ordianary. "Where's Jaken?" he wondered to himself.
Three hundred miles away, Jaken drove the royal convertable in the complete opposite direction of his supposed destination of the daycare. "Arn't you going to get in trouble?" a pretty blonde girl beside him asked. "Naw, baby. It's all cool," Jaken said in a macho voice, putting his arm around her. And off they drove into a peaceful sunset. Or at least until someone reported the car stolen!
And with that, there goes the conclusion to the story! Thanks everyone for reading! Now, I'm not going to say that I'm quitting fanfiction (especially since I tried that once and it didn't wok), but since I'm about to move from the nearly invisible town of Many (Mannie) Louisiana, to New Orleans (yep, and it's hurricane season! My friends all say I'm going to float on back! How mean...), I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to write just now. Anyways though, love all of ya'll and I really appreciate the support you've given me (even the guy who said his nutsacks were smarter than me! Can't belive I left that review still up!). Till we meet again (or if!), this girl's out! Peace!
Amanda Denise Williams/Fluffymiyster