A/N Roses are red;Voilets are blue; I don't own Twilight; So you can't sue.

Chapter 1

New's the breaks

May 23,2003-

Diary... Journal...

It's a Friday, yet I'm inside my house this morning. Alone without Edward. Yes, you are right Edward did come back. Today, I was given the worse news a women could hear. Well, the second worse and Edward couldn't admit it to me. Alice told me what happen while Edward was away. He was having a sexual realationship with Rosalie. He let that whore take his virginity. Emmett found out just as I have. He ran off, probably to kill every tree in the forest. Of course, Rose ran after him just like Edward after me. Don't get me wrong. I do love Edward. But this time, there is something between us, something that no amount of begging will cure me. I don't trust him and he even took the hope of trust regaining away. I must leave Forks, hope for a happy life wish is unevitable. No, I'm not commiting suicide because I know I won't see Edward again. I'm just going to dream, because dreaming is the only thing in my life that isn't destroyed.

After I was finished writing, I went to get my clothes on. Alice always came over now to help me and to try and sometimes succeed by getting me motivated for the day. If it wasn't for her, I was sure I'd be drowning away from my dreams and go off into a dark abyss. I was glad she was here, and I began to rely on her. This was the first day back to school from the 3 day weekend. It was the first day for a lot of things. I finished brushing my hair, and Alice did it. Alice was my life savor. Today I was in faded jeans, a red 3/4 sleeve shirt. It had broken hearts on it, with a lace trimming on the bottom.

"Perfect." I mumbled. I looked into the mirror. I looked nice. Alice finished with a beige eyeshadow. I liked it.

We drove to school, listening to Christina Aguilera "Ain't no other man". I sobbed silently, not letting the tears fall. Alice threatened me not to ruin my make-up. We pulled up into the school parking lot, the car next to us -- Silver Volvo.

"It'll be okay. I promise. I nearly tried to kill him." Alice said noticing my sadness. I smiled slightly.

We walked into school. All my classes flew by, no sign of Edward, yet. Lunch arrived, and I walked in with not Edward or Alice, but Jessica and Mike. Mike still had a huge crush on me, but was going out with Jessica. Luckily, or hopefully I wouldn't have to deal with him. I saw Alice sitting with the rest of the Cullens. She motioned for me to come over, but I looked away pretending I didn't notice. I kept notice that Emmett wasn't there. I also took account that Rosalie would try to get him to talk to her, she even went all the way to kiss his forehead. I wanted to slap her, but I kept my nerve.

Lunch ended to fast for my opinion, I was trying to get away from having to go to Biology with Edward. I did go, but much to my relive Edward didn't come, good. Gym came and go, and before I knew it the school bell rang. Alice and Jasper met up with me, and dropped me off at home.

"Bella, I'll be over later." She said as I was walking up the stairs to the door.

I looked behind my shoulder and said,"Alice, I'm leaving Forks." and walked into the house leaving Alice's jaw drop.

I can't go back to Renee. I don't want to make Charlie upset and I don't want Charlie to that both women in his life left. I'll explore the world. I'll be happy I just need time.

I went up stairs, and grabbed my duffel bag. I stuffed everything that I would need in it. I knew that the pictures were under the floor board, but I didn't want them. I packed some clothes that Alice had bought me, a few books. I grabbed some candy, my tooth brush and tooth paste, my money and some other junk and threw them into my bag. I wrote a note for Charlie on a piece of Computer Paper that said that I need a break and that he was right about Edward.

I grabbed my car keys, and headed outside to my truck. I jumped into the vehicle and started it. Someone with a Jeep, pulled behind me blocking my way. I noticed after staring into the mirror that it was Emmett and Alice.

I headed out of it, going over to Emmett who was driving.

"Get the hell out of my way!" I screamed.

"No, We decided to go with you." Alice smiled.

"No!" I screamed "I need to get away from all of you. I want to do what I want, and forgetting about you sounds like a great idea." Alice looked upset, but Emmett looked like he wanted to cry.

"Don't blame me, Edward wanted it." I stumbled on Edward's name, and it brought tears to my eyes. I grabbed my duffel and I walked away. A new life, and I left part of me in Forks.

I walked away from Forks, and looked back once.

"Goodbye Forks, I'll be back." I mumbled.

I continued to walk, until I found the woods. The woods that surrounded the Meadow. I figured I'd camp there for the night. I took out my throws, and luckily the grass wasn't wet. I layed there, looking up at the stars. I cried, and wished. I fell asleep, humming my own lullaby, it wasn't as beautiful, and it wasn't perfect, but it helped.

I awoke at the same spot I fell asleep.

"Good morning." Someone whispered threw the woods. I stood up to look who it was. Emmett appeared.

"You do know your making it hard for me." I whispered.

"It's hard for me to, but you didn't hear the rest of it." he said arriving over to my side.

"There's more?" I asked, as he pulled me into a hug.

"Rose is pregnant." He simple said. My tears poured down my face, Emmett wiping them away.

"Does he even care?" I asked, wishing, hoping he didn't love her.

"He does love you Bella, but I'm not sure about his feeling of Rose." He said. I nodded.

"Why don't we go away for a while?" he asked. "We can go to some beautiful place." He smiled, I noticed that it wasn't as good as Edward, but it still made be feel nice. Emmett had a heart of gold, he was trying to make me happy.

"Okay." I smiled, trying to cheer him up. Emmett grabbed me, and threw me gently on to his back, my bag, in his arms. He ran. He pulled me off, as well arrive in front of the Cullens house. Oh my fucking god I thought He tricked me.

I had eyes that could have killed. "Alice just wanted to say bye, and I wanted to say goodbye to Carlisle and Esme. I love them." I nodded.

We walked into the house, I saw Edward and he looked up and I saw sadness and hope into his eyes. I looked away, and Alice ran over.

"Bella, are you sure you want to leave?" Alice said walking me over to the living room, were Edward was. I felt eyes staring at me.

"Yeah," I managed."I want to get away." I said looking to the ground.

"Do you want to say bye?" She attempted to get me to speak to Edward.

"Will you?" I asked."Send my best wishes for them." She nodded into disappointment, and walked up the stairs.

"I'm sorry." Edward whispered from the chair acrossed the room. I still heard him.

"I am too." I agreed.

"So what's going to happen, my love?" Edward said, while we moved to me.

"Nothing. I hope Victoria comes and finishes me. And for 'my love' don't call me that. I'm not your love. I'm not even your friend." I spoke up and noticed Emmett approaching us.

Edward looked sad," I said I'd never let you go."

"I want you, too," I said noticing he wouldn't agree to,"But, I know that's not going to happen, that's why I can either go with Jacob for a while, or kill myself." I spoke the rest walking out of the house with Emmett.

"You're brave Bella." Emmett smiled, and we drove onto the highway. I pulled out my journal.

Saturday May 24, 2003

It's been a long day. I ran away and saw Edward today. I found out that Rosalie is pregnant. Edward and I talked a bit, and Emmett decided to leave with me. I saw Emmett smile, it wasn't as beautiful as Edwards, but it was nice. It made me feel safe. I loved it. We are driving and we just entered Oregon a few minutes ago. This is going to be nice, I hope. I am learning more about Emmett's personality, and he really is sensitive. He's a good teddy bear. Sleep is arriving fast this night, and I'm going to sleep. Night.

I said my good night's to Emmett, and grabbed my pillow and cover. He smiled, said goodnight, and I fell into unconscious.