Putting the Damage On
You already know how this song goes….me own nothing, you no sue.
She didn't know what to do next, so she ran. Ran again, like she had a year ago. She ran like a madman, through the dark halls and corridors of the school, trying to find a place that would give her some peace, any tiny shard of peace she could find. She found herself in her greenhouse that was attached to the school. It had been a welcoming gift for her when she had first joined the X-Men. It had represented a new life to her, a place where there can be rebirth and you could always start over. Now it was the home to her frustrations and her agony, as she ran in and buried herself among the hibiscus and roses.
She inhaled their aroma and tried to calm herself. Calm down, Storm, you need to be strong. Analyze it logically. Analyze it like…like Hank. All right. Jean and Logan. Together. Dating. Having sexual intercourse on a nightly bases. It's no big deal. A penis in a vagina, ejaculation, and then the attempt to procreate and start new life…oh Goddess, they want to have a baby? NO, dammit, concentrate. It's nothing. He was never yours to begin with. He never was. You never even loved him. It wasn't your free will to love him, it was your instinct…goddess, that just makes it sound better.
There was a slight ruffling as the door to the greenhouse slowly slid open and a lone figure crept in. He made no sound when he walked, so Storm immediately knew who it was.
He walked up behind her and slowly sat on a nearby bench. "I noticed you slip out of the party Ro. I'd been meaning to tell you, but I just couldn't gather the nerve to break it to you."
"What made you think that there was anything to break? We're both adults, Logan, we shouldn't be bothered by this." What a lie, she thought to herself, as she turned away form him to admire a rosebush.
"What a lie, Ro. I thought there was something to break, because, well, because I cared for you. I still do."
"So you date Jean," Ororo concluded, mumbling it more to herself than to him.
"Dammit, Ororo! You said I couldn't have you, and God knows that I wanted you, but I lov-I cared for you so much that I managed to respect your wishes, and I've been keeping out of your way since. Now that I've found someone who brings a tiny ounce of joy into my otherwise pitiful and boringly arcane life, you seem more upset then ever, Ororo. So what, what do you want from me? You say that you can't have me, so does that mean no one can? Is that want you want, for me to end up alone like you?"
Their words stung, and hung in the air between them like a net, catching any softer words that might have been exchanged. Ororo gulped and contemplated what he said, while the words reverberated inside of her head.
Alone like you, Alone like you. I am alone. I've always been alone, ever since I came here. I've had no one. Only these plants. It's like they knew what kind of a life I had in store for me. They didn't give me these plants as a gift, they gave them to me to replace my happiness, to replace my life. And I let them. I let them do this to me. Let them chip away at my human characteristics, let them mold me into the prefect role model. It's as much as my fault that I'm alone as it is theirs. Storm didn't exactly know who "they" were, but this sudden epiphany brought a realization to her, it brought clarity. She knew how to make the memories stop.
The silence between the had lasted for about five minutes, Logan to timid to break it, fearing the impact that his words had had on her. Finally, he spoke. "Storm, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I never meant for any of this to turn out this way. I-"
"Hush now," Ororo said, turning from her roses to face him. His face looked like an emotion Ororo couldn't even name, it was one that had to be felt to completely understand it. It was one she had felt too often. Fear. Anxiety. Sorrow. Pain. Too many emotions for the tongue to translate into words. She took a step towards him and placed a hand on his face, trying to soothe his anguish.
"It will be all right." She looked down at his hands. His watch read 11:52 in neon green numbers. "I know it's not exactly midnight, but I wouldn't want it to be. You should start off the New Year with your new love. You should leave the past in the past."
She leaned her head forward, tasting his hay-sweet breath on hers.
"You should let the past go. Give it an ending."
She nudged her lips closer to his, and silently and passionately they met, molding into one another until the hot velvet they each felt slowly broke away. Ororo looked up into his green eyes and whispered the two last words he'd hear from her.
With that she cunningly flew from the room, using light winds to push the windows of the room open and to carry her up into to the sky. She had nothing to take with her. All the belongings she had here were not really hers; they belonged to the X-Men, maybe not physically, but they were part of the special time, the special feeling that the X-Men had managed to create throughout the years. Taking anything with her would violate those memories that Ororo knew she would treasure forever, but memories, she knew, that should be kept in the past.
Logan silently walked back to the party, where guests were unaware of what had just conspired. The hazy feeling followed Logan throughout the room, until Jean caught up with him.
"Hey, the ball's about to drop. I was afraid I wouldn't find you. Did you find what you were looking for? Did you find Storm?" she asked, knocking down another glass of punch.
"Yes. I found it, but I lost it. I had to let it go."
"Oh, it's starting!"
The room grew eerily quite as the countdown began. "Three, two, one, happy New Year!" Everyone shouted, embracing their loved ones.
Jean wrapped her arms around Logan's waist and looked him in the eyes. "Happy New Year. I love you."
Logan swallowed. "I love you to, Jean."
The couple leaned down and kissed, as did many couples. None of them knew, though, that while the ball of light dropped to the ground, signifying the beginning of a new year, the beginning of new opportunities, the weather goddess was flying off into the night like a forgotten dream, in search just of that; new beginnings.