Title: Nothing More, Nothing Less
Author: Jacquie and Sassy
Classifications/Genre: romance, drama
Archive: Anywhere just let us know
Disclaimer: We own nothing.
Alex was on round...well, she'd honestly forgotten what round of shots of whiskey she was on. She'd lost count back at seven. Pulling out her cell phone, she didn't care that it was late. She pushed speed dial two and waited for an answer from the other end.
"Sorry it's late, " She slurred. "Wait...No, I'm not." She giggled. "Bobby, sweetie, you never see what's right there in front of your face. Never, never, never." She teased. "I'm always right there. Waiting for you to see me...see how much I want you. And you never will." Her mood changed then as tears pricked her eyes. "You never will, or by the time you do...I'll be gone." She hung up the phone and ordered another shot of whiskey.
"A..." The phone went dead in his ear. He sighed and drove to her usual hangout spot. He didn't even have to ask the bartender where she was. The bartender pointed to a table in the far corner of the bar.
Alex let her finger swirl in the amber liquid as she stared at the melting ice. She hadn't heard him slide in beside her until he spoke.
"That's enough, Alex. I'm taking you home," he said gently but firmly.
She jumped at the sound of his voice. Sighing, she replied, "Why do you care anyway? Why not let me drink myself into oblivion? Then maybe someone will want me...take me home with them...fuck me...make me feel wanted."
"I'm not going to argue with you. Well...least not till you're sober." He tried to crack a grin. "Trust me... you'll thank me later."
She glared at him. "No I won't." She poked his arm. "Get up...I'm leaving."
"That's right. With me." His eyes softened a little. "I'm not going to let you do this to yourself. Hate me all you want."
"You just want to play hero, Bobby...and it won't work with me. I need more than that from you. I need something from you that you are too afraid to give to anyone...except maybe killers." She closed her eyes and images of Nicole Wallace and Nelda invaded her senses. Feeling nauseous, she pushed at him with her hand over her mouth. "MOVE!"
Bobby sighed and waited outside the ladies' room.
Her head was fuzzy as she rinsed her mouth in the sink and straightened her shirt. She stumbled toward the door and wrenched it open only to come face to face with him. "You still here?"
Another half smile. "It's going to take a lot more than drunken threats to get rid of me, baby." He had already paid her tab so he took her by the elbow.
"I'm not your, baby...I'm no ones baby..." She muttered as she let him lead her outside.
"On the contrary..."
She glared at him as he opened the passenger side door. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You're wrong," he said as he closed the passenger door.
She remained silent for a few minutes. Her head was clearing enough with the open windows to register that they weren't going to her apartment. "Where are you taking me?"
"You think you've won, don't you, Bobby?" Alex asked as she glared at his profile. She wanted to smack the grin off his face.
"Who said anything about winning? I just want to make sure you're okay."
With a huff, she crossed her arms over her chest. "I haven't been okay for a long time...you never noticed before."
"When?" she challenged.
"A week ago, when you went out with that Bill guy.." Bobby recited by rote. "Two days ago when Deakins chewed you out..." He waited for her to challenge him more, glancing sideways at her.
Silent tears slipped down her cheeks. She hadn't told anyone what he'd done to her. How could she? He'd made her feel so...so dirty. She pulled her clothes tighter around her. "Just take me home..."
Bobby pulled a U-turn and headed toward her apartment. "Long as you realize I'm not leaving you alone."
She sighed, completely defeated. "Fine."
Bobby helped her inside and put her keys away. He hated to take advantage of her like this, but it was the only way, he thought. He took her in his arms and kissed her till she was breathless. "I'll make you some coffee," he said, leaving her standing there, stunned.
She found herself again and headed toward her room. Finding a pair of old sweats and a t-shirt, she stripped and pulled the comfortable clothes over her body. Glancing in her mirror, she noticed that the bruises were finally starting to fade away. Pulling the shirt the rest of the way down, she was startled to see him standing in her doorway. One look at him and she knew that he'd seen. "Bobby...I...I can explain..."
He waited for her to explain, even though he had a pretty good idea what happened.
She couldn't tell him the truth. The truth was that he'd forced himself on her, and even with her weaponless defense training, she wasn't strong enough to fight him off. She opened her mouth and for the first time, out and out lied to him, "Bill...he likes it rough."
He didn't believe her, but he let it drop. "Coffee's done whenever you're ready." There was a slight flicker of hurt and disappointment in his eyes that she had lied to him.
Seeing the pain in his eyes, she pushed her fist into her mouth and stifled a cry. She pushed her back against the wall and slid to the floor, pulling her knees up to her chin as she sobbed into her hands.
Bobby stopped in the hallway when he thought he heard a muffled sob coming from Alex's room. Turning around and walking back to her, he wordlessly he sat down beside her and took her in his arms.
"It was all my fault...I lead him on...I was angry at you..." Alex continued to sob.
"It's not your fault, Alex...it's his." Bobby whispered gently as he stroked her hair. I'm going to kill him, he added mentally as his jaw clenched.
She looked up and met his eyes. "Yes it was...I should've known better...I knew he was the violent type...I shouldn't have went home with him."
"There's nothing wrong with wanting to be wanted," Bobby whispered.
"There is when the only one you want is the one that doesn't want you," she whispered as her sobs quieted.
Bobby kissed her lips gently. "That's my fault...my fault you think that."
She shook her head. "No, it's mine for not telling you how I feel."
He paused. "Do you want to talk about it right now?"
She met his eyes. "I lied...I lied and you still want me?"
"You sound surprised." Bobby gently touched her cheek as a small smile touched his lips.
"I just...yeah..." She admitted.
He gently kissed the top of her head. "We'll talk over coffee," he said. Alex didn't seem to want to move though.
"No." She said softly. "Right now I want to sleep and if you're still here when I wake up...then we talk. K?"
"I'll still be here," Bobby promised. He carried her to the bed and laid her down under her covers.
When he started to turn away, she grabbed his hand. "Sleep with me..."
"It's okay," he said softly. He took off his shirt and his shoes and laid down beside her. He extended his arms out, asking if she wanted to be held.
Sliding into his embrace, she held on for dear life. "Thank you," she whispered.
"I've got you," he whispered back as he stroked her back like she was a frightened child.
Sleep finally came to her. Bobby allowed his eyes to close only when he had reassured himself that she was asleep.
As dark turned into light, Alex shot straight up in the bed, a scream caught in her throat.
Gentle arms were immediately around her. Bobby's voice was in her ear. "Ssh...it's okay."
She buried her head in his chest and clung to him as she tried to control her ragged breathing.
"It's going to be okay," Bobby whispered as he rocked her.
"Make it all just go away," she pleaded.
"I'll try," he whispered as he kissed her.
She slowly pulled him down on top of her. "Just make it go away."
A soft groan escaped his lips as he eagerly began kissing her skin and running his hands down her body.
She pushed him back and undressed. Pulling the covers back up around her, she watched him do the same. When he moved between her legs, images of that night returned to her mind and she was trembling all over.
Bobby kissed her gently.
"Make me feel wanted...make me feel safe..." she whispered as she pulled her mouth away from his.
Bobby's mouth gently worked down her skin as his hand cupped her.
She closed her eyes and winced as his mouth touched the bruises on her abdomen.
"Sorry," he whispered pressing a kiss to her stomach.
"Didn't hurt...just don't like that you...that you have to see them." She closed her eyes afraid the shame would show in them.
"Honey, open your eyes" Bobby's voice was gentle, loving. A tone she had never heard him use before. "Look at me."
Slowly her eyes met his, and she swallowed hard.
He kissed her. "You are the most amazing woman I have ever met, and I love you for it," he said softly, looking her in the eyes so she would know he meant it.
"But I let him..." She was silenced by his finger on her lips.
"I love you, Alex Eames," he whispered again as he kissed her. "So much."
He gently kissed his way to her center before stroking it. She whimpered as she clutched the sheets. His tongue gently teased her clit.
"Bobby..." She let one hand tangle in his hair.
"Sssh...let go," Bobby whispered.
She let out a soft cry as he sucked gently at her clit.
His finger strokes got faster as he felt her climaxing. His name was on her lips as she released around his fingers. He sat up slightly to take her in his arms as she caught her breath. She kissed him long and hard. "You're beautiful," he murmured in her ear.
She looked up at him. "I am not..." She blushed.
"Are too," he kissed the tip of her nose then her racing heart.
"Love you," she whispered.
He gently positioned himself between her legs. "You sure you're ready for this?"
She shook her head no. "But it's what you expect..."
"I don't expect anything." Bobby moved off of her.
She felt rejected. "Bobby, I didn't..." She began to cry again as she turned away from him.
Bobby turned her around and took her in his arms. "I just don't want to rush you." He gently kissed her. "What do you need me to do? Tell me," he kissed her hair.
"Never let me go." She said through her tears.
"You can touch me..." he whispered as he saw her hands hesitate over him.
She let her fingers slowly begin to caress him. "I've been talking to a counselor."
"That's good," Bobby said, smiling softly. He shivered a little at her touch. She slowly rolled him onto his back. He gave her a boyish smile, not minding at all that she was on top of him.
"Maybe if I was in control...maybe..." She stroked his cheek.
"Whatever you want," he whispered.
She placed her arms on each side of his head and she bent to kiss him. "Or maybe we wait till I'm ready."
"I'm not going anywhere," he kissed her back.
She positioned her body so that her head was laying on his chest. "I want to hear your heartbeat."
Bobby's body shivered under her head as he gently stroked her hair.
"Never let me go..." She whispered.
"Just try getting rid of me," he whispered in her hair.
She shook her head. "I can't...I need you too much."
"Sssh...I'm here," Bobby whispered. He waited to be given a clue as to what she needed. He was still lost.
"What do I mean to you?" She asked awhile later.
"Nothing more...nothing less." She finished for him.