A/N: Episode fix for the finale of Stargate SG1. Based on my reading of spoilers for the final episode and the lack of SJ ship. Major spoilers for Unending. If you don't want to be spoiled turn back now!
Please excuse my obvious ignorance of the intricacies of "time dilation bubbles". I've never claimed to be a physicist.
This story is my little break from Perfect Light.
OUR LOVE IS UNENDING
It's been twenty years since this unending nightmare started. Twenty years since my tinkering with good enough caused a time dilation bubble that's stranded SG1 onboard the Odyssey for the foreseeable future.
It shouldn't be so bad. After all, I'm stuck here with some of my best friends in the world, people I care about and people who care about me.
Still I feel so totally alone.
Every minute of every day, I miss you.
My husband, the one I'd waited for so long, I miss you with all my heart.
I'm becoming an old woman. I'd hoped to grow old with you, but my own mistakes have made that impossible.
After years of waiting, we finally came together after dad's death. We married almost a year before this final trip. Continuing in our respective jobs, hoping as always to save the world, we spent precious weekends together and not much else. And now, now, I have only my memories.
For all my knowledge, I have no idea what this time is like for you. Are you growing old as I am? Do you know what's happened to me, to us? Or have only a few days passed for you? Do you still think I'm coming home? Are you looking for me? Or have you given up hope?
Oh my darling, if only you were here with me!
For the first year, I held onto hope that I could get us out of this, that somehow the Asgard technology we had access to would hold the answers and break us free. But it wasn't that easy. On the first anniversary of the accident I took my rings off the chain I wore around my neck and started to wear them openly for everyone to see. And I cried.
The others saw the beautiful rings, tokens of our lifelong commitment, and they knew. They knew with very few words the real source of my despair and longing. They realized that even their undying friendship would never fill the emptiness I felt inside without you.
And that's when I started writing these letters. Every night, before I went to sleep, I'd write you about my day. Mostly I wrote love letters, putting to paper the words I longed to say aloud to you. Other days, I'd write my words of loss and heartache, hoping somehow you could hear and comfort me across time and space.
Around that one year mark, the pictures came out into the open as well. Why did we ever think it was so important to keep our relationship secret from our good friends? How I wish now they could have been with us at the wedding. If they had been, we could share those memories now and maybe I wouldn't feel quite so alone.
Anyway, I'm so glad I thought to bring the pictures with me on this trip. They're simple things really, only snapshots, but they're all I have. And as time inexorably passes, they guarantee I'll never forget your face. Two small pictures, one of you alone, looking impossibly handsome, your face the picture of gentle strength, the other a wedding picture of the two of us, with blissful smiles of a time long ago.
Sometimes if I close my eyes, even now, I can imagine you're here. I can feel your arms wrapped tightly around me. I have to be content with the memory of that feeling; in my healthier moments I'm eternally grateful for that much and so very grateful for the time we did have together. At other times, I fear I'll lose my mind altogether if I can never be with you again.
Well, on a brighter note, Thor left us some pretty nifty gizmos, Jack. It's like Star Trek, you'd love it. Remember the molecular synthesizers, the ones that could duplicate any kind of matter on demand so long as the specifications were on file? Well Thor gave us one of those before he left and we've made good use of it.
I synthesized a cello. Yes, me and a musical instrument. The last time I played anything was during forced piano lessons as a teenager. But I needed something. It's like I'm in captivity here. Learning to play became my challenge. God knows I've had limitless time. Remember the days you and I would sit and listen to your music? I think it grew on me. Believe it or not I can play some of your classical favorites now. I think I'm actually pretty good. Maybe someday you'll hear me. Maybe you have, in your dreams. I can hope.
Anyway, I feel closer to you when I'm playing.
A/N: If you're interested, I could be persuaded to pen a fluffy happy ending to make up for the overwhelming angst! Let me know.