"At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. "

--Plato

Finding Love and Stuff

I.

Monique sighed as she stuffed her bag of books into her locker. Staring at the now cramp space, for some reason lockers always seemed to get smaller each year, she pondered the ultimate question in life. 'Why?'

Why was the sky blue? Why did Mr. Barkin teach every class that had Ron in it? Why does Kim always say 'sitch'? Why does Bonnie care? Looking around though Monique focused on the most important 'why'. Why was she the only one not in a relationship?

Now this issue, not sitch, was one she had only begun pondering recently. Something about being dumped by a twelve year old kind of brought things into perspective and taking a quick look around Monique could see her worse fear confirmed. To one side Josh Mankey walked hand in hand with one of the guys from the drama club as 'just friends'. Bonnie patrolled the halls with her new lackey. Tara had that smiley face on her right hand which she was constantly talking to. Then there was Kim and Ron.

Monique allowed her mind to fade back to the lunch they had eaten not so long ago. Of course saying she had actually eaten it would be a lie. Try to kill it would probably be more accurate but that wasn't the issue at hand. No instead was the time for the flash back.

II.

"Ron I'm telling you that I won fair and square." Monique looked up from her meal as it backed off a respectful pace in time to see Kim flip back her red hair a smile on her face.

"Won at what?" Monique looked at the two in a confused manner trying to figure out where this line of talk had come from. Just a few pieces of dialogue ago they had been blabbing about Mr. Barkin's latest assignment.

"But KP I still don't think that was fair." Ron's classic whinny tone came out clearly as he sullenly stared at his food. Monique rolled her eyes looking over at her best friend ready to share an unspoken comment about the boy. Instead she found Kim's eyes focused solely on him.

"It was a fair fight Ron, now pay up."

"Pay up with what?" Monique looked between the two hoping for an answer.

"But KP!"

"Ron." Monique blinked as Kim leaned in placing her hand on his lip. "You know I've been waiting for this."

"Fine!" Monique was not ready when Ron suddenly jumped up to the table crushing the mystery meat as it attempted a renewed assault. "Alright here goes."

"Goes what?"

Hearing Ron clear his voice Monique glanced towards Kim seeing she still wasn't paying attention to her. "Okay now ladies I want to tell you a tale. A tale about a rat. A Naked Mole Rat!" Monique blinked as Ron began to rap right there in front of them. Not the usual thing in the lunch room.

III.

Monique sighed as she slid into the booth at the local fast food Tex-Mex place. The memory of that incident still brought fresh shudders to her. Even the rodent couldn't care less about her as he ran from an especially active chunk of gray fake meat like substance. Shaking her head Monique just sat there sighing as she wandered when her luck would change and she could meet a guy who would care enough to rap for her.

"Something bothering you?" Monique still in her depression funk let out a startled squeak as a high pitched voice came from way too close by.

Spinning Monique glanced at a pair of glasses and bad acne. "What?"

"You seem like something is bother you. Am I right?" Monique nodded her head as she focused and realized she was talking to a person. A college freshman if she placed his age right and she knew she did. After all she had known Ned since coming to Middleton considering Kim and Ron were practically attached to the poor guy. "Mind if I sit?"

Monique considered her options at this point. One sit with Ned, a guy who ranked very low on the hottie meter, or two sit by herself and continue to be ignored by even the likes of underground tunneling rodents. She pondered this one long and hard. "Go ahead."

Ned smiled in her direction as he took a sit adjusting his clip on tie twice. "So what's the predicament?"

Monique stared at him long and hard before answering. "How do you know I have a 'predicament'?"

"I work at a fast food place. Trust me I know when people have issues." To his credit Ned actually managed a very wise head nod at that.

Sighing Monique leaned back still staring at him before finally giving up and throwing her hands into the air. "Fine I'm alone happy?"

"Alone?"

"No boyfriend! No date! Not even a best friend ever since she finally woke up and realized what we all knew a long time ago!" Monique realized her voice had reached shouting levels by the end of her mini-rant but she didn't care as she stared at Ned challenging him to comment further.

"A beauty like you without a date?" Monique blinked at that.

"You think I'm pretty?"

"I'd have to be blind not to." To Monique's surprise Ned actually managed a leer at her. Glancing to her side Monique scanned the place seeing if anyone else was here.

"The heck with it better this then nothing."

"Huh?"

Ignoring Ned's questioning look she leaned in a smile on her face. "Care to serve up an order of love hot stuff?"

"Grande Size it?"

"Among other things." Monique lifted an eyebrow suggestively at that.

She smiled when Ned blushed before he stood back up. "I'll close down and join you in a second."

"Who's going to cover for you?"

"Who cares!" Ned threw his hands up in the air as Monique smiled licking her lips. She licked her man excited.

Leaning in she grabbed Ned by the tie pulling him in close. "One thing."

"What?" She stared into Ned's eyes as she pulled him in ever closer.

"Leave the clip on. I find them sexy." With that she finally closed the distance between them introducing Ned to the simple concept of joy.

IV.

Monique shot out of bed a scream dieing on her lips as she finally emerged from the nightmare. Still shaking she stared down at the blanket which covered up to her waist. The areas of the white night gown she wore that were not covered easily showed the effects the horrible dream had on her. Shaking her head, she took a deep breath trying to calm herself. "I can't believe I just dreamed about me and Ned!"

"Are you cheating on me in your dreams?" Glancing to her side Monique could see a sleepy but grinning red head stare up at her. Smiling Monique leaned back shaking her head.

"Of course not just way too much chocolate before bed."

"But I thought you said that was the best part?" Monique grinned at that remembering that it really was the best part. "Anyway you done dreaming about other people?"

"Hope so!" Monique fervently shook her head trying to clear the last of those memories from her mind.

"Then how about letting me fix the sitch." Monique glanced over as Kim lifted back her own covering showing the black slinky number that Monique loved so much. Grinning Monique leaned in intent on letting her girl help her out in this sitch.

V.

Ron shot up as he heard the pounding of his own heart in the darkened room. Glancing over at his bedside clock he could see it was just a little past four. Shaking his head he glanced towards his phone staring as it beckoned him. "Even though I know it was probably a dream...I should check on it." Nodding his head Ron picked up the phone dialing a familiar number.

"Hello?" The voice of a tired young woman came over the other line. Smiling Ron shifted his weight up allowing him to lean against his wall.

"Hey KP you awake?"

"I am now...what's the sitch Ron."

"You know you use the word 'sitch' a lot..."

"Get to the point Ron!"

"Oh right...um...KP I've got a question for you. Promise you won't be angry."

"No."

"Oh...well what is Monique to you?"

"What?"

"This is important KP!"

"Um...a friend?"

"How close of a friend?"

"A good friend I guess."

"Any closer?"

"Well I guess best friends..."

"Like us?"

"Huh?"

"This is important KP!"

"What? Best friends like us...EW! Ron, are you reading stuff on-line again."

"No..."

"How many times do I have to tell you Ron? I like guys and I really like you."

"Didn't hear a no, KP."

"No Ron me and Monique are not seeing each other. Now stop asking."

"Oh..."

"Is that a relived 'oh' or is that a disappointed 'oh'?"

"Um...got to go!" Ron clicked the phone down as he let his heart rate drop down once more. Glancing over at Rufus he frowned. "KP is going to make me pay for this in the morning isn't she?"

Rufus nodded firmly at this.

"Oh well." Ron rubbed the back of his head with his hand as he glanced around the room. "Those sure were some odd dreams right Rufus?"

The Naked Mole Rat was only able to stare blankly up at him wondering yet again why his human kept forgetting that he couldn't read his mind.

"I mean what if this was one of those dreams too..." Ron frowned as the idea suddenly came to him before his eyes opened in shock. "Oh sick and wrong that would mean..."

Rufus was only able to stare up confused as his human did a few leaps of logic.

"Only a sick writer of fan related fiction would think of something like that!" Ron glanced over as his rodent friend stared up at him in horror before shaking his head. "I know Rufus. I mean it's just wrong to imagine me as the President facing a world ending crisis..."

Just then the front bedroom door burst open as several men in suits rushed in. "Mr. President there is a world ending crisis that needs you attention."

"Oh man!"

The End


A/N: I just don't know what to say anymore. I think there was a point to this when I started but like usual I lost it somewhere between the first sentence and the second one. Oh well. Anyway I'm in one of those writing moods after all and felt like posting something like this again. Hey if I'm feeling especially kind maybe I'll write out a little bit more for the fourth section next time. Then again maybe not...

On that note don't hesitate to drop a review. I enjoy reading them after all. Well good night!

Disclaimer: I don't own KP or the USA. Working on both.