Disclaimer: I do not own, or have any right to, Harry Potter and all of its characters, settings, and so on. They belong to the brilliant J.K. Rowling. My story was inspired by her imagination and is here for entertainment only. Don't sue.
A/N: So, this was a random idea I thought would make a funny one-shot. It explains something I always wondered about involing the twins. People seemed to like it on another site and I hope you do too! Please leave a review to let me know what you thought of it! Thanks for reading.
Mr. Weasley was very, very tired. He had been up all night working away diligently to track down the culprit that had recently sold farting umbrellas to, it was believed, 27 unsuspecting London muggles. Walking by his stand during an unexpected downpour (which, it was further believed, he was responsible for) he had connived them his umbrellas would actually repel the falling rain. They did of course, but if anyone nearby said "Hello," they let out a loud burst of flatulence. Luckily enough, once his identity was discovered he was easy enough to apprehend as he had only traveled a few doors down to the Leaky Cauldron. There he was very, very inebriated and animatedly telling the entire pub how rich he would become off of his latest invention. He came, well I suppose one could call it, "quietly", because, although he was far from quite, he did follow willingly to the Ministry. However, reflected Mr. Weasley, that may have been because he seemed to be under the impression that the arresting officers were reporters from the Daily Prophet.
Anyway, let me get to the point of the story. Tired, tired, Mr. weasley was now trying to enjoy his breakfast but , as we all know, this is often when things go to rot. It began, when the owl glided in, placing a letter right on top of his morning eggs. Removing the letter from the end of his fork, he opened it and began to read:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Weasley,
We regret to inform you that we have kidnaped some of your children. Stop. If you ever wish to see Fred or George alive again please send 200 Galleons right away. Stop.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Weasley,
At first, he had felt a tight and sickeningly strong panic creep into his chest. Shocked and appalled, he re-read the first sentence several times and paled realizing it was not a hallucination from being up all night. Of course, we are not altogether shocked I suppose. If television has taught us anything we should all realize that with that many children one or two of them is bound to be kidnaped a few times.
Ginny, his youngest who was still at home, saw his change in complexion and asked "What is it, Daddy?"
The telegraph-like owl continued:
If you fail, we further regret to inform you, that they will be fed to a giant three-headed dog named Fluffy. Stop.
"What?", thought the distraught and tired Mr. Weasley.
The message had been sent from a messenger office, possibly the one in Hogsmeade, and although Fred and George weren't old enough to go to village it was close to the school and the forest. Just as he was about to call for Molly he spotted the footnote:
Signed: Fred and George.
He couldn't resist it, he laughed out loud!
"What is it Daddy?" asked Ginny again, more concerned now because she thought her poor overworked Father had finally gone off his rocker.
"What the devil is going on in their Arthur?" Came Molly's voice from the sink.
"Oh nothing dear. It seems Fred and George have kidnaped themselves."
"What? Well, why on earth would they do something like that?
"For ransom dear, it seems that if we don't send 200 Galleons immediately they are going to feed themselves to a three-headed dog..." he chuckled "...named Fluffy."
"I know," said Ginny "it is isn't it?" Her Father looked over at her inquiringly. Usually she found the twins jokes insufferably funny rather than as insufferable as their mother did. "Who on earth would name a three headed dog Fluffy?"
Arthur laughed harder at the joke.
"What?" asked Mrs. Weasley, not hearing Ginny last comment.
"Nothing dear." he managed to answer and went to the desk to retrieve some paper. With Ginny reading over his shoulder, he wrote:
Unfortunately, we have not budgeted a ransom into our family's fiscal year, so we will not be able to accommodate your demands. If it's not too much trouble, would one of you mind asking one of my sons exactly when it was that they lost their marbles and thought up the plan to kidnap themselves? Also would remind them that they are extremely lucky that their wonderful father found the letter first, and not their Mother who would have been far less amused?
Thank you Sirs,
Fred and George read the letter at lunch and burst into laughter that had every head in the Great Hall turning to stare. "So, I suppose we'll just have to just find another way to come up with the money then, George."
"Guess so, Fred."
"Or maybe," chimed Lee from over their shoulders "you should just stop betting against my quidditch predictions."
"I just don't understand how he could be sure it was us. Okay, so it wasn't most professional, but what if we had been captured by someone? We would be dog food."
"Perhaps," offered Lee with a mischievous grin, "you shouldn't have signed your names."
"Preposterous!" cried George indignantly. "We would never be so stupid!"
"Umm..actually George," Fred said dropping his fork, "I think we may have." He half laughed.
"No?! No, surely not . . . " but, taking a copy from his bag, he saw that was exactly what they had done. His eyes widened and then his face cracked into a wide grin. They all laughed loudly again.
"You know, George, if we take bets on every competitive event at Hogwarts for the rest of our careers here, we may just pay him off one day."
"I guess that'll have to be the plan, my fine, bookie partner."
A/N: Hehe. Review?