Disclaimer: I don't own anything from One Piece.
VTM: (sweat drop) Well I guess chapter 1 could've gone a little better, here is chapter 2! Hope you get a kick out of it! But first…
swedishpiratefan: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! XD This chapter is a LuffyxVivi, so I hope you'll like this one too. Thanks for reading!
WARNING: There is a major spoiler to the manga in this chapter.
Chapter 2: The Golden Goose (or duck, which ever way you look at it)
Once there were two brothers that lived in the woods, they led a simple life as woodcutters. One day as they were out cutting trees, the younger brother, Luffy, decided to sit down a eat lunch. Just as he was to take a bite out of his bread he heard the cries of a starving man.
"Food…Food…Young man…could you please spare me something?"
Luffy looked over his shoulder, his eyes nearly bugged out of his skull at what he saw. "YOU'RE A SKELETON!!!!!…………………WITH AN AFRO!!!!!"
"Indeed I am. Yo, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! My name's Brook!"
"So cool!" Luffy cried.
"Thank you! May I please have some of your food and drink?" the Brook asked.
Luffy blinked. "………Okay…but just a little…"
Brook then took the boy's bread and drink and gobbled it all down.
"HEY! That was mine too ya know!!!!"
"Oh my, it would seem I ate all your food…" Brook said with mild surprise. "Well thank you, I must be going no-"
The afro sporting skeleton was now face flat in the ground.
Luffy grumbled as he began to stomp away.
"Waaaaaiiiiit…" The skeleton said pathetically as he raised his head from the dirt. "I really am sorry…How about I make it up to you?"
"With what?" Luffy asked.
Brook thought for a moment. "Hmm…Oh! I know! If you go just a little deeper into the woods you'll find this old twisted oak tree…Chop it down, and you'll find something quite special inside…Thank you again for sharing your lunch with me! Yo, ho, ho, ho, ho!" And with that the skeleton left.
"…………………………What a weirdo…" Luffy said with a blink.
"Oi! Luffy!" Called Luffy's older brother, Ace. "Where did you wonder off to?"
Luffy quickly ran off to join up with him. He told Ace his story, which earned him a large bump on his head.
"You idiot! I told you to stop giving your lunch to strangers!" Ace said angrily. "Remember what happened with those beans!?"
On top of a hill sat a quaint little cottage. Then suddenly an enormous beanstalk sprouted from underneath it and it carried the little cottage away into the sky.
"Our house!!!!!" Ace and Luffy said in awe as they saw it being carried off.
-End of flashback…-
"But they really were magic, so that weird guy was telling the truth…this one could be telling the truth too!" Luffy explained.
"Luffy…" Ace said in a frustrated growl.
"Please? Let's just check it out! It could be something good this time!" Luffy begged.
Ace grumbled, he then sighed. "Fine."
Luffy grinned. "Hee, hee, hee! Say Ace, can I have some of your lunch? The weird guy ate all of mine…"
"No way! You gave away your lunch, you get suffer for it!"
Later that day the brothers walked deeper into the woods. Indeed they did find an old, twisted oak tree, so they began to cut it down. It wasn't long before the tree fell, and sitting nestled in the tree's stump was a bird, with gold feathers.
Both brother blinked.
"It's a goose…" Ace said tilting his head to the side.
"It's a duck…" Luffy corrected.
"Ow!" Luffy nursed the new bump on his head.
"What do we do with it?" Ace asked, studying the goose (or duck).
Luffy then looked excited. "We eat it of course!" He said happily.
The duck (or goose) now looked a little nervous.
Luffy then picked it up from the stump. "Hee, hee, hee! You'll be pretty tasty I bet!" Then suddenly, he noticed something was a little off. He tried to let go of the duck, but he couldn't, his hands were stuck! "Ace…I can't let go…"
"Huh?" Ace blinked. He then gave a sigh, he knew it was too good to be true. "Well that's what you get for trusting such things…now your stuck to a goose for the rest of your life…" Ace then gave Luffy a sympathetic pat on the back. Suddenly, he found his hand stuck. "Eh…?"
"Vivi…please…at least smile, even a little one would do…" King Cobra pleaded.
"Sorry father, I just don't feel like it…" Princess Vivi said with a sigh.
"You've been so serious recently…I haven't seen you smile once for weeks, or even hear you laugh…What's been troubling you?"
"Nothing…Just don't worry about it father…"
Worried, Cobra seeked advice from his advisors.
"Your majesty we've tried everything…" said one with a sigh.
"Jesters…comedians…magicians…musicians…you name it we tried it…" said another.
"Well there has to be something we haven't tried…" Cobra said with a frustrated sigh.
"Maybe we should ask people outside the castle…the world is vast, surely there is something out there that may help…"
Cobra thought it over for a moment. "Very well…"
Word was then spread out that whoever could so much as bring a smile to princess Vivi's face would have a chance to court her. Needless to say, many rushed to the castle right away, after all, who could resist such a reward?
"Tell me why again we're parading to the city?" Ace asked, his eyebrow gave an irritated twitch.
"Maybe a doctor could help us out…" Luffy explained.
Ace sighed. Why not? They tried everything else. "Fine…"
Just as they reached the gates of the city a guard stepped before them. He was a big, tall man, with grey hair and two cigars in his mouth.
"Greaaaat…just what we don't need…" Ace mumbled. "A guy with a smoking problem and probably awful tar breath…"
"State your business…" the guard growled.
"Um…we're stuck…" Luffy said simply. "I think we need a doctor…"
The guard raised an eyebrow at this answer.
Just then another guard came to the gate. It was a young woman with short hair and glasses. "Captain Smoker, sir! Are these two giving you trouble?"
"No…just a pair of jokers probably here for the contest…" Smoker said in a dull tone. "Not a very good attempt if you ask me…"
"Contest?" Luffy suddenly looked interested.
"Oh no…you shouldn't have said that…" Ace said with a sigh, knowing all too well how his brother was with those kinds of things.
"But sir, you don't think anything is funny…"
"Quiet Tashigi!" Smoker said with a slight embarrassed blush on his face.
"We're not joking!" Ace said in a huff.
"Hmph…" Smoker walked over, went behind Ace, grabbed his shoulders and tried to pull him off of Luffy. "…….Huh?" He found that Ace, was in fact, firmly stuck, and now he was too. "What is this!?" Smoker growled as he tried to pull free, he then took one foot and pressed it against Ace's back to try and get his hands unstuck. Needless to say, that was a very stupid idea.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop that you asshole!" Ace shouted. "Great! Now your damn foot is stuck to me!"
"Need my help, sir?" Tashigi asked as she ran over to help.
"NO!!!" All three suddenly shouted.
Startled, Tashigi tripped over herself, and crashed right into Smoker's back.
"OI!!! CLUMSY!" the three (now four) shouted.
"Sorry!" Tashigi whined.
"Can we go into the city now?" Luffy asked.
"What do you think!?" Smoker shouted.
Luffy grinned. "Great! I want to see what this contest is about!"
"OI! THIS IS NO TIME FOR GAMES!!!!" the other three yelled.
They paraded through the gates and around the city. People pointed and laughed, some even tried to help (big mistake) and soon what was once only four unfortunate people, became a long train of more unfortunate people.
"Let's go to the castle!" Luffy said with a grin. He began to lead everyone to the castle.
The others had no choice, the train of people made its way through the streets, through the palace gates, and all way to the audience chamber, and right in front of the King and princess.
Cobra gave a confused blink at the sight of the strange ensemble before them. "What is this…????"
"Old man! What is this contest about???" Luffy asked.
'Old man…???' Cobra looked a bit annoyed with that comment. "If you can make the princess laugh you can court her…"
"Court???" Luffy tilted his head to the side.
"That means you can dates her…" Ace said flatly.
"Oh…" Luffy shrugged. "Okay then…Everybody! Move left!"
Everyone did as they were told.
"Now to the right!"
Again everyone moved.
Soon Luffy had everyone moving about, as if they were doing some odd dance. The whole thing looked so ridiculous, everyone in the audience chamber had to laugh, the king, his guests, the people stuck together (except Smoker, well okay…maybe he snickered…a little…), and even the princess.
Then suddenly, one by one, everyone became unstuck and crashed to the floor. This only made the princess laugh harder.
Cobra was pleased to see his daughter happy again, but was not quite as pleased with Luffy, true he had made his daughter happy again, but the boy seemed a bit simple minded (okay, very simple minded).
"Hee, hee, hee! I win!" Luffy said triumphantly. He was now free from the golden duck (or goose)
"Good for you…" Ace mumbled as he got up.
"Uh…Young man…" Cobra said suddenly.
"Na?" Luffy gave a confused blink.
"I'm afraid there's a slight problem…" Cobra began. "Yes, you won the contest…But I believe there is another test…just to prove that you are worthy to court my daughter…"
"Father…" Vivi gave Cobra a stern look. "This is not fair and you know it…"
"Don't worry…I know what I'm doing…" Cobra said reassuringly.
"What kind of test old man?" Luffy asked.
"…The test is…" Cobra began, trying to ignore the 'old man' comment. "If you can drink all the rum in the royal cellar…"
"Na?" Luffy made a face of distaste. "But…I don't drink…"
"Father…" Vivi said suddenly. "How about sending him to find someone else who can? It'd be much more fair that way…"
"But…Vivi…" Cobra then gave a sigh. "Very well then…If you can find a man that can drink the royal rum cellar dry then you may have permission to see my daughter…"
Luffy grinned. "Right then! I'll do it!" In two days he somewhat regretted those words, he couldn't find anybody, everyone he'd ask would just looked at him as though he was crazy. But then again, it was a crazy task to begin with.
Now Luffy wasn't one that cared to lose, but at this point things were looking quite hopeless. Then one day when he was in the woods came once again came across Brook.
"My I'm thirsty…" Brook said with a sigh.
Luffy then had an idea. "Oi…Brook…just how thirsty are you?"
"THE DEAD WALK THE EARTH!!!!!!!" screamed one panicked nobleman.
Both Luffy and Brook stood before King Cobra and Princess Vivi in the audience chamber.
"What is the meaning of this!?" Cobra said angrily.
"Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee…" Luffy gave a big grin. "I've found someone that can drink the royal cellars dry…" he said triumphantly.
Cobra blinked. "That skeleton…? There's just no way…"
"I may be just dead bones, sir, but I assure you that I am so thirsty I could drink a lake! Yo, ho, ho, ho, ho!"
"…………Prove it then." Cobra dared.
He soon regretted those words, for then the skeleton really did drink the royal cellar dry.
"Im-impossible!" Cobra said in shock.
"I win!" Luffy said triumphantly.
"Yo, ho, ho, ho! That was mighty fine rum!" Brook said happily. He then laid eyes (er…sockets…) on Vivi. "Hey! Can I see your panties????" he asked.
Everyone stared at him speechless.
Brook then found himself face flat on the ground once again.
Luffy then looked at Cobra. "Old man…I did your test…"
Cobra frowned. "………No…You still have not proven yourself worthy…"
"But that's not fair! I did you're test just like you asked!"
"Well since you passed that one then one more wouldn't hurt…" Cobra began. "This time I want you to-"
"Father, stop it…" Vivi said suddenly. "…I know you're trying to do what you think is best for me…But I've decided for myself what I want to do…And I'd like to see Luffy…"
"But Vivi…He's…he's so…"
"He's truly something else…" Vivi said with a smile. "And I like that about him…"
Luffy grinned, scratched the back on his head, and went a slight tint of red.
VTM: Whew! This was a tough chapter to write, sorry if the characters were a little OOC, I tried to keep the story close to the fairytale (hence why that test was there, in the story 'The Golden Goose' there were three, I went with one so not to drag the fic out too much) Again, this is probably not my best work, but I hope you enjoyed it…Next chapter: Chopper and the Three Bears, no pairings, just crazy comedy…in the meantime, R&R! And please, no flames…