Pairings: Tezuka x Fuji
Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis does not belong to me.
A.N. I am starting to see the appeal in writing one shots. It has this nice finish feeling to it. LoL maybe I should give up writing multiple-part for one shots. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this one shot. It is a companion fiction to "Picture Perfect" so if you have time, you should read the other one too. As always R & R will be most appreciated. This time it will be in Fuji's pov and as requested there is virtually no dialogue in this fiction.
Beta by Daisy
No matter how many times I have held a camera in my hand, I am still marveled by how one tiny button can accomplish so much. A single click and I managed to capture another moment in time.
Most of my close friends know that I enjoy photography, but none of them knew why I started taking pictures in the first place. It was all because of you, Tezuka Kunimitsu. As ironic as it sounds, you were the person who showed me the love and appreciation that I have for photography. It sounds farfetched because there was virtually no direct connection between you and photography.
In reality, it was one piece of information that I have withheld from everyone; even from you. The first time I saw you play tennis; I was memorized by your dedication. Your love for the sport was overwhelming and it touched me. I was moved and with a single click I captured your love for tennis on film.
In my dark room, I stared at that picture for what seemed to be an eternity. And for some odd reason, it puts me to shame. I have won many awards in tennis, but I never took the sport seriously. Because to me, it was just a game. A game that I was naturally good at without trying. It was effortless and it was boring. Nevertheless I continued to live a lie and pretend that I enjoyed playing tennis because others would always praise me on my ability to excel so far in this game. For years, I pretended that tennis was special to me because others needed me to play the sport.
But you knew that I was faking my love for tennis from the very first time we ever played against each other. You saw beneath my smiling face and knew that I was tired. You knew that I was tired of pretending that I loved the sport. You saw that I was exhausted from pretending to be the pillar that others had counted on for so long. You heard my silent cry for help and you saved me from myself. You took the responsibility off my shoulder and put it on your own. For three years, you let me hide in your shadow and I was finally free to be myself. I was finally free to explore my passion for photos thanks to you.
Yet, I continued to play tennis because I wanted to be around you. Somehow, being around you made playing tennis more bearable. When I was around you I could feel your love for tennis. I knew that tennis was something that you lived for, and tennis would let me be closer to your heart. Still, even on the court, you were so different from me. I knew you would never have wasted years pretending to love something when you clearly don't. You would never foolishly live a lie because there was never any doubt in mind when it came to your integrity. I can still feel my heart aching at the memory.
"Shusuke, I am sorry but the person that I love is Keigo."
It hurts. At that moment, I finally understood the concept of heart breaking. At that moment, I finally understood the pain that others felt when they lost a tennis match. At that moment, I finally understood how it felt to want something or someone so badly that the human heart started to ache. I remembered feeling like a fool because even at that final moment, I was still clinging on to a thin thread of hope. But when I saw you avoid eye contact I knew that it was time I stopped lying to myself.
I knew that it was time that I started being honest. I knew that it was time that I stopped living a lie. The moment I heard those words I knew that the final thread had been cut.
I found your eyes and smiled for you because it was the only thing that I could still do for you. A smile was the last thing that I could offer to you. Selfishly, I wanted you to remember me with a smile before I vanished from your life.
That night I took out the acceptance letter to Paris from my trash can and booked the next flight. I had hoped that time would erase the emptiness inside me, but three years later I realized that time was not the magic solution to all problems.
There was a part of me that still wanted to convince myself that it was all just a lie. A perfect lie only you could pull off because to me, you were always the exact image of perfection.
Even to this day, I would always look up into the night sky because I wanted a miracle. The optimistic part of me wanted to believe that if I wished hard enough upon a falling star, then somehow I could convince myself that it was all just a flawless lie on your part.
It doesn't matter how many moments that I captured with my camera; I will forever be chasing the one image that only existed in my dreams. In my dreams, you were there and we were together. In my dreams, that day never existed and I would be by your side for all eternity. In my dreams, I could still convince myself that I was the one that you loved.
Such a foreign city that had slowly became my home. In this lonely city, I found a temporary home for my lonely heart.
Photography is one thing that I have undeniable passion for, but if I was given a second chance I would had gladly given it up if it meant having another moment with you.
A moment that I could never capture on film again.
A moment when you would look into my eyes and tell me that it was all a lie, a perfect lie, a flawless act and that the person you love is me.
A perfect lie that you created because you love me.
Yes, moments like these makes me want to sleep for all eternity.