Nibai Akuma Kokoro

I'm happy that there are so many men reading this. I cried with joy (just a little bit) when I opened all the comments I got from you guys. That's not to say that I'm ungrateful for my female readership, but… Yeah. The men are valued, 'cause this story's for you.

In today's chapter, our special will be a lemon cake with lemon zest, lemon icing, lemon wedges, a sweet smidgen of girl-on-girl kissing, and a little bit of 'WTF?' sprinkles at the end with the chocolaty aftertaste of a plot twist! Because at NAK, we're more than the missionary position!


Ch.8 Very Little Plot Advancement Happens


Temari sat at the kitchen table in shock. Kankuro stood beside her dazedly. Gaara had sent Temari a letter and she'd read it a few moments ago. Kankuro had rudely skimmed though it over her shoulder. The contents had sent them both halfway to the river Styx. The last letter they'd gotten from Gaara was that he had turned into a she and that the council would not accept him returning as a woman. Confusing as it was, that one hadn't been so bad. This one was downright obscene.

'Dear Temari,

I've been learning much during my stay here in Konoha. Like sex. I am no longer considered a 'virgin'. But I figure that I must give you a brief account of the sequence of events that led up to that occasion.

I have been living with Uzumaki Naruto because he doesn't mind me and is a fellow jinchuurki, as you and Kankuro know. Life here has been rather quiet. No one has tried to kill me since my arrival. I find it to be incredibly pleasant. Gives me lots of time to think. Truth be told, I was rather bored without the constant assassination attempts. I inquired about possible time consuming activities (I believe you call them 'hobbies') and Naruto's sensei, whose name is apparently Hatake Kakashi (he seems to be a shinobi of some renown), suggested that I take up reading in my now excessive spare time. He gave me quite a few books in a series known as 'Icha Icha' and informed me he'd let me keep them. I quickly realized that the books were erotic novels, like the ones Kankuro has hidden in Karasu's repair kit.

I now own over one hundred of the books, which are surprisingly well written. (Naruto doesn't seem to like them and insists upon me putting them in the closet when we have visitors over. That's not very often. And as a side note, he taught me how to make some delicious muffins. I shall have to let you taste one when I get back.) Lots of other things happened as well. I went to a 'club', met incubi, and amassed the second largest collection of Icha Icha books in Konoha (beaten only by Kakashi).

But most importantly, I had sex. Lots of sex. (Is five times in a row considered a lot?) Why did you never tell me how wonderful it was? (At this point in reading, Temari thought she had a small seizure because she discovered that her eye would not stop twitching no matter how hard she tried.) After about fifty Icha Icha books, I wanted to see what the big fuss was about, so I asked Naruto if he would like to have sex with me. (Cue further twitching.) He said no many, many times (and for this Temari commended the boy) but eventually gave in. I wanted to get it over with, but he said my first time should be special because I was the Kazekage and that was what I deserved, so he cooked me a nice dinner and lit a bunch of candles for us. The women in the books would've called that romantic and even though I was impatient, thinking back on it, I feel a warmth in my chest because I don't think anyone else would've done that for me. When we were finished with the meal, he turned off the light and let the candles keep burning. (Yes, it was a fire hazard, but it helped us see what we were doing.) We got undressed and in bed, but he wasn't sure that I really wanted to do it. I, of course, persuaded him otherwise and we proceeded with the sex.

Naruto… He was beautiful. Even more beautiful than blood on my sand. He did something amazing for me. He made me feel special.

But the sex was good. It was great. It was more than great. I hadn't known you could use a tongue in such a way. I think it's called being a 'cunning linguist'. Out of his fingers, his tongue, and his cock, I liked the cock the best because—

And from there it proceeded to go into six pages of horrifyingly great detail pertaining to their activities in the same flippant monotone phrasing Gaara so frequently used. By the time Temari was finished, she knew more about Uzumaki Naruto's sex skills than she ever would have imagined and would eternally bear the mental scars of envisioning Naruto fucking a female version of her younger brother like he was (as Gaara had eloquently put it) the sea and she was the beach and his cock was the tides that came in and out with the same blissful consistency, pounding against the shores of her inner walls. Temari never needed to know that Naruto kissed Gaara sweetly or that he liked to hear her saying his name loud and strong or that he made her skin crawl in ecstasy and especially didn't need to know how big and hard he got when he was inside her. But Gaara completely disregarded that and told her anyway.

Kankuro was even worse off because he was having troubles imagining Gaara as a girl to start with. (Ironically, the post script had said 'don't show Kankuro this letter, I have a feeling he won't take it well'.)

Both siblings were fairly sure that they'd need a lot of therapy.


Gaara woke up naked in a tangle of half-cold sheets. When she rolled over to see her blonde lover, he wasn't there. She propped herself up on her forearms to better see the alarm clock, wondering if she'd overslept and Naruto had already left to go train. But no, it wasn't even seven yet. Maybe he'd gone out early to get some extra practicing in. He did want to become the Hokage, after all. It only made sense that he would be bettering himself with every opportunity he got. Shukaku laughed maliciously in her head and she swiftly dismissed the theory as nothing but wishful thinking. He was almost certainly at someone else's house to get a fuck in before the day started. Probably that Uchiha bitch.

Yawning widely as she sat up, she shuffled out of bed and combed the tangles out of her hair in the bathroom. Since there was a chance of Naruto returning, she figured that she may as well look semi-decent. It would be a waste of time to pull on all of her usual clothing if he did, so she found a pair of his boxers laying on the floor that weren't too dirty and wore those. Topless and enjoying it, she fried a pair of eggs she'd found in his refrigerator and was in the middle of eating those when a knock sounded from the door. Who on earth wanted to disturb Sabaku no Gaara, lady of the sands, murderer of many, indefinitely on hiatus Gondaime Kazekage at six fifty two in the morning? At least Naruto had the decency to have undone the ward on the door before leaving. She didn't want to have to deal with the frumpy landlady complaining about the noise of unaware civilians being scorched by the door.

Maybe it was Naruto, returning from a conquest…

She peeked outside. "You're not Naruto."

While she tried to close the door, Sasuke wedged her foot in the door growling, "No shit."

"Naruto isn't here." Under her breath she added, "Slut…"

"I'm not here for him. And I'm a trained shinobi, in case you didn't remember. If you're a foot away from my face and you try to whisper, I'm going to hear it, skank."

This was the most whore-infested waste of her time since she'd been nearly mauled by oversexed Sunan fangirls. That was only slightly more unpleasant than what was occurring now. "What do you want?"

"Think you can take on the two of us?" She stood back and let Neji into small line of sight provided by the partially ajar door. "If you win, we'll leave Naruto alone. If we win, you move out and don't talk to him for the rest of your life."

Gaara stared at her like she'd just heard the stupidest thing ever. Which, as far as memory goes, it basically was. "I have more important things to deal with than your personal vendetta. Go home."

"Are you scared that you'll lose?"

Gaara tried to close the door again. "We aren't children. I'm not one to be goaded into inane tasks with reverse psychology."

"Inane t—this is a battle of honor!" Sasuke protested, fighting doubly hard to keep the door open so that she could force Gaara into the challenge if necessary.

"Which one of you has Naruto?" Somehow she suspected that the two troublemakers had something to do with his sudden disappearance and she wasn't going to stand for it.


If words could not get these walking sperm depositories to talk, then sand was going to be necessary. But she would give them a chance first, as having woken up after good sex made her feel benevolent. "Naruto was not here when I got up this morning. I would like to know which one of you has him."

"Naruto is missing?" Well, though that temporarily benefited them, it ended up as a big fat detriment after they finished killing Gaara and Naruto was nowhere around to be fucked.

"Don't play with me. I know one of you have him."

Neji bent down and picked up a tri-folded piece of paper that was on the floor and read it while the two ice princesses gave each other their best 'I-hate-you-bitch-I-hope-you-die-a-horrible-tragic-death-and-no-one-comes-to-your-funeral' glares. She felt it was necessary to share her discovery. "Naruto says that he left to go 'make things right'."

Suddenly she was the center of attention and the others huddled closely to her to get a look at the letter. Sasuke gave a snort of contempt. "Figures that dobe would get worked up and run away trying to fix problems that'll only get worse because of his 'help'. I wonder how far his lead is. At least a few hours, but that's nothing that I can't catch up with. I am a ninja genius, after all."

"And why do you think that you're the one Naruto wants to see as his cavalry?" Gaara perked her eyebrow.

Neji found herself having to be the referee for them. "We won't find Naruto if we're distracted by all this infighting. I think we should each take a different way out of the village and try to cover as much ground as possible. We'll meet at the north gate in an hour and decide what to do from there."

"What about others to assist in the search?" Gaara didn't particularly like the idea, but she wanted to have Naruto back as soon as possible so they could try something she'd recently read.

"I know that you're crazy, but use some common sense," Sasuke said, eyes flicking over her shoulder quickly to spot out possible prying ears. "They'd never let us out of here because of all the gender-bending that's scaring the other nations!"

"Let's leave my state of mind out of this debate until we get Naruto back, shall we?"

Neji hurried in to cut the argument off before there was bloodshed in the hall. Their plan mustn't go off prematurely. "Both of you are right, so we should all go pack some supplies for a trip and then we'll meet at the gate, alright?"

Sasuke sighed, knowing that one of them was bound to find him and she'd simply have to ensure that it was her. "Fine."

Gaara, still topless, tried to decide which Icha Icha books she should bring with her. "Fine."

A temporary treaty was in order.


Fifty minutes later, both Neji and Sasuke were at the gate, waiting for Gaara. Sasuke wished that they would just leave without her, but she knew it wasn't going to happen. She decided to waste the time by ranting about how fake Gaara's tits looked ("How big do they need to be, really? She could kill someone with those things!") and that her kanji was stupid ("I don't know how she got it and nor do I care, but if I see that damn sign one more time, I'm going to stab her in the fucking face until there is no flesh left on there for it to be on!") before Neji interrupted her.

"From one member of the alliance to another, can I ask you a question?"

Sasuke looked down at her comrade, who was sitting on a rather large rock at the time. "Depends on what the question is."

"You're more experienced when it comes to… physical contact, right?" Neji only hoped that she could benefit from whatever training Sasuke could give her.

The slut shrugged. "I suppose."

"Could you teach me how to… kiss?"

Having figured that Neji had been going to the other extreme of the spectrum (the art of fucking), Sasuke found that she didn't mind. "It wouldn't hurt."

"Thank you."

Sasuke sat parallel to the Hyuuga branch, who had never gotten much face to face time romantically. "Try to keep up with me."

Sasuke closed her eyes and gently guided her lips to those of Neji. Having never really kissed anyone before, Neji felt a warm tingling in her chest as her peach cheeks tinted red. God forbid someone caught them like this. Even this small contact made her want to run away, but Sasuke was in charge and she wasn't about to let that happen. Her hand found the small of Neji's back and the Hyuuga girl leaned deeper into the kiss. Sasuke was having no problem at all taking advantage of her submissiveness. Their mouths crushed together twice before parting and Sasuke slipped her tongue between the shy pink lips, enticing Neji to let her inhibitions go and respond. Neji sighed at how strangely good this felt and squeaked when she felt Sasuke lick her tongue and things were about to go just a little bit further—

But Gaara showed up right on time and ended the impromptu lesson.

"I didn't realize that your interests were in that direction," she said, shifting her bag on her shoulders.

Sasuke drew back without shame. She wouldn't let Gaara have the satisfaction. "How are we deciding on which way to go?"

"Rock, paper, scissors?" Neji suggested.

"Whoever wins first goes north, second goes east, and third goes south," Sasuke said, determined to win one of the first two. The Hyuuga was a shut-in, which she knew for a fact because she'd done her homework. Neji had never done work in the south, which meant that she probably didn't realize that the southlands were nothing but stinking swamps. Gaara wasn't a native and wouldn't know either, making Sasuke a winner whichever one went as long as it wasn't her.

They threw down their hands. Sasuke had paper, Gaara and Neji both had rock. Sasuke smirked triumphantly and went out the gate they were at without bothering to wish her 'comrades' luck. The next round, Gaara had paper and Neji had scissors. They nodded a minor acknowledgement to one another before parting ways. As she ran, Sasuke couldn't help but feel a small twinge of regret for Neji. But, since all was fair in love and war, it didn't last long.


"So that'll be one room for one night?"

"That's right," Naruto said as he reached for his wallet.

He'd been running the entire day and he'd gotten a fair distance away from Konoha. Better instincts told him that he should keep going, but common sense told him that sleep would be crucial during his journey. If someone caught up to him, he could call on Kyuubi for assistance if things got too hairy. And if he got in a fight with a drunk local, he figured that he could handle that opponent pretty well with basic shinobi skills. No matter where he went, people always seemed to recognize a ninja and thought they could go toe-to-toe with one. They were obviously very stupid people who were emboldened by alcohol and peer pressure.

The inn was a decent one as far as standards went; he was sure that he wasn't going to find mints on his pillow, but he could sleep without worrying about getting robbed, stabbed, or both. Though the floorboards creaked when he walked up the stairs, he knew that he liked the place already and he was ready to go eat, then get some much needed sleep. There were unfortunately no ramen stands, but there was a restaurant nearby and since location was key, he didn't want to stray too far away from his temporary residence. When he had firmly settled in, he got his wallet and went out in search of a decent meal.

The special at the restaurant he'd seen was kitsune udon and he slurped his broth appreciatively while he tried to strategize on a napkin. If he kept going north, he didn't know what he'd hit. If he went west, he'd end up in Suna and he didn't have enough desert survival training to be confident in his abilities to remain among the living if he got lost. The east wasn't well-developed, so if the succubus didn't like loud civilizations she'd probably go that way. But it was more likely that she'd be in a metropolitan area with lots of people she could sleep with to keep herself alive. If she went to a village where everyone knew each other's name and life story, she'd be found out within a day. So logically, she'd be in Konoha because of its sheer size, but for all his years scoping out the backstreets and alleyways, he hadn't seen her. Even if she used a henge, he still would've noticed at one point or another.

'Gah! This is so frustrating! I wish I had Shikamaru to help me make sense of things…' He frowned deeper when he realized that his napkin was now a scribbled mess and finished his udon to take his planning back to the hotel. When he left, he could almost swear that he saw a person shadowing him, but he billed it as nothing and thought, 'I guess I'll just have to play it by ear and see how things go.'

Now that his stomach was full and his muscles were sluggish from an all-day exertion, he was ready for some sleep. He got the key to his room from the front desk and yawned, thinking of the dreams to come. His schedule for the rest of the evening was to find that Icha Icha book he borrowed from Gaara and to read himself to sleep. Plans could come tomorrow. On his way up the stairs, he thought he felt chakra spiking somewhere in the near area, but he brushed it off and entered his room.

The room was nice and had lots more space than he'd bargained for, but there was just one tiny little thing wrong with it…

"Hello, dobe."

Naruto stopped in the doorway when he saw the Uchiha smirking at him from the other side. "What the hell are you doing here, teme? I'm not going back yet, just so you know."

"Like I care about that. Get in here, dobe." She grabbed him by his collar and yanked him inside, quickly closing the door with her foot.

"Then what do you want, teme-hime? I didn't pack enough stuff to take care of more than one—"

"Shut your mouth, usaratonkachi. I told you I don't care about your stupid mission. All I want is to cash this in…" She pressed a slip of paper against his chest and when Naruto read it, he regretted having ever written this IOU. "You owe me one senseless fuck."

"Can we put it off until tomorrow? I'm kind of sleepy, so…"

"You said I could call it when I wanted and I want it now." Sasuke parted Naruto's thighs with her leg, steadying the stance with one hand and using the free one to grab his cock very unsubtly. She pressed her forehead against his and stared directly into his eyes that had absorbed the twilight blue of a late sky. "…Your breath smells like soy sauce."

"Yeah, well, I just ate kitsune udon, so…" He laughed nervously and wondered if he could successfully escape when she let him go.

"Don't even think about it, dobe. A man doesn't go back on his word and neither does Uzumaki Naruto, right?"

"Well, I guess that's r—did you just imply that I'm not a man?"

"And if I did?" Sasuke tightened her grip on his manhood. "If you don't like it, I destroy any chances of you becoming a man right now."

The situation roughly translated to 'if you don't sleep with me, I'll castrate you with my bare hands'.

"…How do you want to do this?"

"I had a feeling you'd see things my way. Get naked." It was not a suggestion, it was a command. Sasuke was in charge and for now, there was nothing he could do about it.

As he stripped, he tried to hold a conversation which is never the best idea when one plans to have sex. "So, um… Could you just wait like five minutes for me to go to the store and get some—"


And that was the end of that.

"Good," Sasuke said when he was subjected before her judgment. With a wary eye on him for any sudden movement, she searched through a large black duffel bag Naruto suddenly noticed at the foot of the bed. "Now, we'll get you prepared…"

"Hey, maybe we shouldn't do this here, the walls seem kind of thin and—"

Sasuke barely wasted the time to pause her search. "I already took care of that."

Soundproofing tags were on all the walls and Naruto cursed his misfortune. He couldn't talk her out of it and there was no one going to come to his rescue, plus he had promised to fulfill the IOU whenever she wanted, so he sucked in his gut and prepared for the worst. To conquer a hellion such as she would take a true man, which meant that only he was up to the challenge. Besides, he had the Kyuubi on his side, so he laughed at her bag of tricks (mentally of course, he wasn't so crazy that he'd dare to get on her bad side right now) and thought, 'Bring it on! I can take whatever you can—Is that a paddle?'

"Spread your legs shoulder-width apart and bend over the bed," Sasuke commanded, pointing at him with the paddle. The word 'seme' was printed across the flat of it.

He'd seen such things in the red-light district and had even taken a good-natured whack or two from friends, but in the hands of Sasuke, it would likely be his doom. "Let's not and say we did."

"Bend over."

Nervously he kept his mind focused on the headboard of the bed as he spread his legs to distract himself from the imminent pain. He prayed to every god he could think of and made the mistake of glancing back. Sasuke stood triumphantly tall, muscles coiled with the paddle over her shoulder like a batter about to strike a home run. At that moment, she swung with all her might and the flat of the paddle connected with a thick, fleshy smack.

"Fuck on toast!" Naruto howled as he felt needle-pricks buzzing on his abused bum that now was as red as a sunset. "Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"Is this all it takes to make you scream? And you call yourself a shinobi…"

"Of course I'm a shinobi, but you just spanked me with a fucking solid wood paddle! And in case you didn't happen to know, that hurts like hell!"

Sasuke wound up for another strike. "Cry me a river, dobe."



The paddling went on for an excruciating five minutes that seemed like five hours to the poor blonde, who was currently on the verge of tears. If this kept up, he wouldn't have an ass at all. Against his will, his legs began to fail him and quaked every time she struck to signal that he couldn't do this for much longer without violent retaliation. By no means was he a masochist, but he was semi-proud of having withstood for this long. When ten seconds passed without a blow, he made the mistake of relaxing.

"Please tell me you're finished with that because I really don't like—Hey, hey, what the hell are you doing—what's that and why are you—get that out of my ass, Sasuke—I swear to god I'm going to ki—Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Naruto fell to the bed, unconscious from an internal electrical shock (he was lucky that it didn't kill him) and at the total mercy of the sadistic princess known to all as Uchiha Sasuke.

"And now the fun begins for real…"


Around this time, Neji was tired, dirty, and hungry. She'd been wading around in the marshlands for the entire day, up to her knees in thick mud that aimed to drag her down into the mire with every step she took. Her sandal had been lost hours ago, sucked into the sludge and held hostage without ransom. There was no way Naruto was here, no sane person would wallow around in this muck if it wasn't absolutely necessary. Neji hadn't seen a single sign of other human life for miles and staying here wasn't something she was keen on doing. The going was slow and frustrating, it'd be impossible to get back to the village before tomorrow morning. She'd have to camp out and rest, then make the rest of the journey after she got some decent sleep.

When she found a dry patch of land, she happily slumped to the ground and began sobbing into the yellowed grass without even bothering to use her jacket as a makeshift pillow. Once more, she'd drawn the short straw. It'd been happening her entire life and would continue on until she died. Born into the wrong family, cursed with the horrendous mark that she bore on her forehead every day… She couldn't even have sex without having something go wrong. Naruto had left her the doctor's note and it had just been another blow to her when she'd read it. Now, she'd been stupid and had gotten herself tricked. She wasn't so surprised when she realized that heading south was nothing but a ploy to slow down a rival. They were all in it to win it and she was losing by a landslide.

"Neji-nee-san, are you okay?"

"Hinata-sama?" Neji lifted her face from the ground to see her timid cousin standing over her. "How did you find me?"

"I saw you leaving this morning, so I followed you. I didn't think you wanted me to tell Father. I tracked you with my Byakugan and used a shunshin to get here." Hinata had later learned of Naruto's unexplained absence and figured that Neji might know something about it. "You didn't find Naruto-kun, did you?"

"No… But with the Uchiha hunting him like she is, I would make myself scarce as well." She laughed softly and didn't mind her cousin brushing away her loose hair.

"Let's go home, Neji-nee."

"Of course, Hinata-sama."


When Naruto awoke, he was in a position that was simultaneously pleasing and horrific. Sasuke mounted on his dick and exploring the curves of her breasts with her nymphet fingers as she waited for him to wake up? That's pretty damn good in his book. Lying on the floor with his hands cuffed behind his back? Not so much. He tried to recall what had happened before he blacked out but he was having difficulties remembering even the most basic of things. Was it still the same day? How long had he been out?

"Ugh… Wha' happen'?" His tongue felt thick and furry, mouth completely dry around it. He didn't even have spit to soothe his parched throat.

"I swear you're so pathetic, dobe. All I did was electrocute you a little and you pass out. Now shut up, we're going to fuck."

"Can I have some water?"

"Swallow your spit." Sasuke had little sympathy for the man that made her wait this long.

"…You're a total bitch when you're horny, you know that?"

The little sympathy immediately dropped to zero sympathy. "I can make it so that you won't enjoy this. Do you want that?"


Now that those matters were settled, Sasuke began to move, pushing herself up and down on Naruto's cock with her hands on his stomach to keep her balance. This was a lovely visual treat to him, the ivory huntress acting like a beast, but right now, all he wanted to do was touch her, to grab her breasts, to ravish her with his mouth until she melted in his arms and the sun rose. But he couldn't because he was handcuffed against his will.

He tried moving with her, rocking his hips upward to match her rhythm and ended up scolded severely, threatened to be paddled until the paint on the word 'seme' faded. While she shifted and wriggled and moaned as she occasionally managed to brush against her g-spot he was stuck here in handcuffs, acting as little more than a flesh-and-blood dildo. That simply didn't settle well with him.



"But come onnnnnnn! It'll be better for the both of us if you just—"


That was it, he couldn't take this unfair treatment any longer. Naruto tensed his shoulders and began pulling his arms apart the best he could, straining fiercely at the links. Even if they weren't in the best position to do this, he would rather duke it out than to be subjugated to the maddening act Sasuke dared to called sex. She couldn't knock him out and chain him up without repercussions. Naruto didn't care if she was a girl, he was about to open a fresh can of whoop-ass on her. The metal in the chain links was low grade and brittle, so he figured that he only had a few more pulls to get himself free. One… Two… And his hands were gloriously free. Time to take his revenge.

He pounced, chains jingling as he toppled Sasuke and straddled her to regain his male advantage. When she was on her back and he was fucking her, she seemed a great deal less intimidating than before. Which, of course, she absolutely hated. The punch to the jaw should've been expected, but Naruto was more focused on the indignation he'd been served than potential battle outcomes. She wriggled out from underneath him while he was still recoiling from the primary assault and kicked him in the forehead for good measure as she stood, furious at how she'd been knocked off her high horse.

"What the hell are you doing, dobe?"

"You can't just do that! It's not fair to knock people out and try to use them as a fucking dildo!"

Naruto charged her and they proceeded to have a grappling match, each of them grabbing the other's arms hard enough to leave bruises. Both refused to back down. They were already breathless and starting to sweat, despite the little they'd done thus far. Sasuke was at an anatomical disadvantage in the aspect of having lost muscle mass during the gender swap, but she wasn't going to let that slow her down. She inched her foot forward and then shoved Naruto with all her might, ensuring his fall by sweeping his legs out from underneath him. She pinned him, her hips began bouncing against his once more as she fucked him.

"What's stopping me?" she taunted.

Naruto shoved her off him and as she staggered, trying to regain her balance, he tackled her again, but at least this time he provided himself some assistance. Three bunshin brought her to the floor and let the original have at her. Bruises began forming where they held her, but Sasuke minded little. She was more focused on Naruto's rant. "You know, I wouldn't have minded you being on top if you'd asked! But you didn't ask! This is supposed to be a mutual experience!"

"Why should I ask for what's rightfully mine?"

She wrapped her ankles around his neck and flung him in a desperate attempt to keep him as the one who'd bottom. He was knocked across the room, but the bunshins were on her before she could follow through with her assault and they pinned her until Naruto recovered. The blonde created five more bunshin so that she would have two of them to pin down every limb. Sasuke was beat. She didn't want things to get to the point where they were destroying the entire building for the sake of sex and she was being held down by nine idiot blondes. Still, she spat in the original Naruto's face and he simply smiled, knowing that she had surrendered for now.

"Being an Uchiha doesn't mean you're entitled to everything."

"Shut the fuck up, dobe. I like you better when you don't talk."

"Can I trust you not to start trying to kill me again if I make the bunshins go away?" Trust and Sasuke went together about as well as water and an electrical socket.


Naruto looked at the eight bunshin that separated him from a fight to the death. "You're making things too difficult… I feel like I'm the leader of a gangbang."

Still, he entered her already moist confines once more and began exploring the area. Though a nouveau virgin, there was a nice looseness to her that was surprisingly pleasant. Somehow, she felt a little different than Gaara despite the 'if you've had one, you've had them all' stereotype applicable to women's genetalia. Sasuke wriggled her hips in a brief attempt to pinpoint any weaknesses that she could exploit, but she found none there. With one desperate burst of strength, she yanked her arms from beneath the four bunshin sitting on them, but before she could get from beneath Naruto, he slapped her cheek soundly. She startled him by uttering a low moan that rang through her entire body as she clenched forcefully around his cock.

"Teme, did you… Did you like that?" Was the sadist a masochist as well?

The bunshins held her down again, more firmly this time when she didn't answer. It could be a ruse to make him drop his guard. But still her groan dragged on, lessening with the sting of the initial pain until she was panting again, waiting for him to resume his ministrations. Naruto warily pushed deeper inside of her, but it wasn't enough. There was no pain, therefore there was no pleasure. She wanted things done her way. And by god, she was going to make it happen!

She didn't bother wondering if it was strange to want to fuck someone while also desiring to rip his flesh into ribbon shreds with her nails, she merely accepted that as what she wanted. Her fingers twitched, flexing into claws, wishing that she could mark his flesh, to leave a scar that was undeniably hers. The bunshin prevented that from occurring, so she had to settle for getting her satisfaction another way. Though it was difficult, she bucked her hips insistently as she writhed violently underneath him. Each time she aimed to bruise herself inside and it was enough to cause Naruto worry.

"I'm not trying to hurt you, teme."

"I want you to hurt me." Her eyes blazed and lightning flashed through the cloudy grey. Her desire was now known, all he had to do was make it a reality.

Naruto dismissed the bunshin one by one, keeping an eye on her to make sure she wouldn't fight until it was just the two of them. If this was how it was going to be, they might as well be on even ground. The copulation became animalistic as they entered the battle for alpha, Naruto putting all his weight on her to keep her on the floor as she scratched and bit him hard enough to draw blood. Her spine contorted fantastically and he found her ankles linked around his neck for a short moment before he pulled them apart to her dissatisfaction. He razed his teeth against her shoulder as she frantically thrusted upward like a beast to meet him prematurely, forcing him to stretch her walls to the breaking point. Her vision blurred as Naruto rode faster, faster, faster still and she increased the tempo of her own hips against his to meet the challenge offered to her. When he found her spot, she grew more frenzied and her bloodied battle screams filled the thankfully soundproofed room as her orgasm overtook her. Naruto followed soon after, leaving a signature in semen that declared that he had been here as well. He came, he saw, he'd conquered.

"That was adequate, dobe…" Sasuke decided after she shoved him off her and stood on weakened knees.

"Adequate? I thought I just rocked your world, teme."

Sasuke grunted as she tried to collect her clothes from the floor. "You couldn't do that in a million years, usaratonkachi."

"Then why are you limping?"

"Don't read into it. I'm just sore from having to chase your stupid ass down all day. It has nothing to do with your pathetic attempt in trying to please me."

"You really aren't going to give me any credit, are you?"

"Why give it when it's not due?"

"I hate how stubborn you are, Sasuke-chan."

Too tired to react violently, Sasuke merely frowned at Naruto as he drew her close, gripping her bottom firmly. "You're hard again, dobe."

"So you can tell?" His body had already become accustomed to multiple rounds after having slept with Gaara, so as far it was concerned, it was go-time.

Sasuke smirked at the way Naruto shivered when she trapped his cock between her thighs. "What makes you think you're getting anything else out of me?"

He slapped her hard enough to leave a stinging red handprint on her face. She moaned, squeezing his erection against her wet southern lips. The bell to commence the second coupling rang.


'Sorry, teme. I can't have you keep chasing after me.'

Naruto looked at the sleeping, disheveled brunette as he perched on the windowsill. Her long raven tresses were strewn wildly over the pillows as she slept a sleep so deep that it would take a rabid bear to wake her up. Though she was a bitch, he couldn't help but feel like a wee bit of an asshole for ditching her so abruptly, but it was the only way. The last thing he needed was to have her nagging at him constantly while he tried to find Cresselia. There was only so much verbal abuse he could take without his self-confidence being completely annihilated. No amount of bestial, violent sex was worth that. Some men would disagree with that, but his personal respect is what made the sex between them what it was. If he let himself become whipped, then he would turn into a little pansy boy and that was not going to help him achieve his goal of becoming the Hokage.

He climbed down a suspiciously convenient trellis and took off running. Hopefully Sasuke wouldn't be waking up any time soon. He had a mission to fulfill.

And an hour later, he pretended not to hear the scream of, "Son of a bitch!" from the direction of the village he'd been at.


Gaara was weary. Not exhausted, weary. Weary and very, very annoyed. She had figured that finding Naruto would've been easier than it was proving to be. God only knows what would happen if Sasuke got her slutty claws in him first. She'd probably never see him again if that happened. No, she would have to find Naruto first and convince him that what they had was ultrasex and that no one could keep up with him like she could; therefore she was the only person he should be sleeping with. Sasuke may be dark and sexy and Hinata and Neji may have that 'cute' aura about them, but could they really provide what he needed in a lover?

Her Icha Icha studies ensured that there would be constant variety and her stamina had almost no bounds like the regular shinobi. Sasuke was a whore, but that didn't necessarily mean that she could perform to her maximum potential without arduous training. The others? They were nothing to her, no serious threat. (Of course, she originally had thought that about Naruto the first time she met him and that theory had been proved wrong in a very epic battle, but she was ninety-six percent sure that none of the other Konoha females posed as possible usurpers of her territory.) She'd spent the entire day thinking about it and it made perfect sense. Now all she had to do was make Naruto see things her way.

The village she'd decided to rest in was fair-sized and had several facilities for her to choose from to spend the evening in. She wouldn't be sleeping, but it was better than wandering around aimlessly. Besides, she could ask around town and check the guest lists of inns to see if Naruto had been here. The plan was sound enough and she could start paying off her debt to Shukaku with the people who tried to get in her way. But first, to procure a lodging for the evening.

"Sign the guest book here, cutie," the man at the counter said, pointing at a blank space. It wasn't often that such a pretty girl walked into this establishment. And a redhead at that. He wondered if he could talk her into joining him into his room later. There was an extremely simple balance when it came to women. The prettier she is, the dumber.

As we all know, this wasn't true for Gaara at all. But since the fellow didn't realize this, we'll just sit back and watch what happens next. She signed the book and awaited her key.

"I could show you to your room, if you want. I'm sure a big building like this must be terribly confusing…"

"I'll manage on my own." She wasn't stupid and she could tell when she was being hit on.

"Oh, don't try to be brave. First night in a scary new village and you're sleeping in a huge place? I can even give you the grand tour, if you like." He made the mistake of reaching across the desk to try to rest his hand on hers.

Gaara twitched. And then a wave of sand engulfed the young man and crushed him before he could scream. "Take a grand tour of that, bastard…"

She wasn't in a very good mood. It'd been nearly a day since she'd last had some ultrasex. A little known fact is that homicidal shinobi are easily addicted to ultrasex and quickly devolve into the depraved beasts that were more animal than man if they went too long without it. The moral decay was already starting to pick at the frayed edges of Gaara's mind. It was fast becoming all she could think about. The longing for the touch of hot skin and the heady smell of orgasm consumed her, slowly driving her back to the brink of insanity. If she didn't find him fast, she might consider degrading herself with some other man.

The thought made her shudder. Sex, glorious sex, it could only be fulfilled to its highest potential with Naruto. Maybe it was just the curse of the incubus talking, but there was something special about him. Somehow, she knew that it wouldn't be as good with anyone else. But her mental state was a bit off-kilter at the moment and if a man happened to come along at the right time…

"Excuse me, my kitten, I can't help but notice how lovely you are. Would you like me to escort you to your room?"

…she wasn't going to be held responsible if she ended up dragging him into a nearby room and doing things to him he would never forget.

Gaara looked over her shoulder to see who had spoken. A blonde, like Naruto, but the shade was light platinum. His large hands had groped many a chest, but he was looking forward to this one in particular. Very daringly (or stupidly, if you have any shred of common fucking sense), he walked closer to her and seized her by her cunt. She didn't like it. Not at all. But, there was the possibility of sex to fill the void. So…

"My name is Fukuyama. It's nice to meet you, my kitten." Since she wasn't resisting, he tightened his grip on her and watched her mild discomfort. "How cute… You wouldn't happen to be a virgin, would you?"

He took her silence as a yes and casually wrapped his arm around her shoulder. There wasn't a girl on the face of the planet who could resist his charm. He was the king and this would be his latest bitch in his harem.

"We can fix that, if you like. Just follow me and I'll take you to Paradise."

There was a smack of flesh against flesh as a fist introduced itself to Fukuyama's face and sent him flying across the lobby.

"Don't mess with my woman!"

Gaara looked back at the person whose arms were currently wrapped around her protectively. "Naruto?"

Indeed, it was her blonde, signs of Kyuubi showing through in his face. Elongated canines were bared in a snarl, whisker marks dark and eyes turning a bloody red. His clawed right hand squeezed one of her breasts to prove his statement and the other around her waist pulled her closer to him. She shivered as the claws bit through her clothing, wondering what it would be like to have ultrasex with this Naruto. The prospect sounded rather delicious.

"I don't know who you think you are, but how dare you get in the way of my conquest?" Fukuyama demanded as he rose to his feet. His beautiful, beautiful face had been damaged! How was he supposed to get the ladies now? "She was completely consenting to letting me 'escort' her and you've gone and ruined that!"

"She's not going anywhere with you."

"Then I challenge you, demon! Whoever can list more sexual positions will get to take this woman back to his room tonight!" The average person could think of three, but Fukuyama knew of four. Because he's totally the man.

"I'd like to participate in Naruto's stead," Gaara said, as Naruto slowly freed her from her embrace.

"Quiet, woman! You have no place in an argument between two men!" Totally the man, indeed.

"Of course you can fill in for me." Naruto knew that Gaara would thoroughly trollop the idiot.

Gaara ripped a blank page from the guestbook and began rapidly doodling on the back. The entire process took about thirty seconds and Fukuyama figured he should start while the woman was amused. "Anal, oral, missionary…. And the bareback snow monkey."

That was his trump card. Because he was the man.

Gaara held out the piece of paper. On it were seven drawings of two nondescript figures, one male and the other female, doing perverse things to one another. "I win."

Naruto stood beside Fukuyama and looked at them, nodding appreciatively at the interesting menagerie. "I didn't even know you were that flexible, Gaara."

Gaara knew the one she was referring to and shrugged. "I thought we could try it."

Fukuyama slunk away to lick his wounds and Gaara picked up her room key from the desk where she'd slaughtered the random staff member. Naruto offered to carry her bag for her and she accepted, because it was a good excuse to get him into her bedroom.

"Sorry about calling you 'my woman'. It's just that he was grabbing your… Your, um… Yeah."

When she looked at him, the Kyuubi features were starting to fade, so she shoved him against the wall and kissed him fiercely while they were still there. She could taste his long teeth. Gaara wasn't letting this new opportunity pass her by without a fight.

"G-Gaara?" His alarm was apparent.

"Fuck me while you're using Kyuubi."

'That's a great idea!'

'That's a horrible idea!'

"Well, you see, the thing is, um… I only use Kyuubi like that when I'm mad at someone for hurting my friends and I can't really control it and I just really think that it wouldn't work out the way you're expecting it to."

God only knows what happen if he went through with it and Gaara decided to bring Shukaku into the mix.

"Hmm…" She peered at him, frowning at the last threads of red fading from his eyes. "Do you intend to make this up to me?"

"That depends on how you want me to do it."

Gaara pressed the paper she'd used to win the earlier impromptu contest into Naruto's hand. "This. And Icha Icha Mew Mew."

"You and your porn…" He sighed as she waited for her answer. "I'm going to go take a bath first, is that okay with you? I heard they have a spring here, so I plan on taking advantage of that."

"I don't mind at all."

In fact, she just might have to join him.


Having only used the hot springs as a male, Gaara was lacking in some etiquette when it came to what she was supposed to do now that she was a girl. The other women had been staring at her, but since she was busy washing herself off at the time, she hadn't cared much. Now everyone's eyes seemed to be on her as she stood at the edge of the warm waters. A woman scolded her husband for staring. Several young men got spontaneous erections that they feared others would see if they left now and the girls harrumphed at her shamelessness. Naruto was the first to do something to rectify the situation.

"Sweetheart, you can't wear your towel like that." He got out of the water and momentarily unwrapped the towel from around her hips, moving it up higher so that her cleavage was hidden behind the fabric. "You're not a boy anymore. And your hair is going to get soaking wet if you just let it hang out like that."

He found another towel and neatly wrapped her hair up so that she could enter the bath as a sensible, young woman. She escorted herself to a secluded corner and Naruto followed to make sure she didn't get into any trouble (or kill someone). Sitting peacefully with her eyes closed, she crossed her legs under the water and let the heat relax her muscles. On the other hand, Naruto was extremely tense because Gaara had slipped her hand under his towel and begun to play with his cock. It was an odd sight, a girl at ease, the boy next to her blushing due to the fact that, unbeknownst to the other visitors, he was getting groped discreetly.

"Well, now we can't leave. Is there anything you want to discuss?"

Gaara opened one eye. "Do you want me to stop?"

"It doesn't matter. Do you want me to feel you up too?"

"Of course."

To her slight disappointment, he didn't touch her in the way she'd expected him to and instead slipped down her towel on one side so he could have at her soft breast. He pinched her nipple sharply, rolling it between his fingers to make her start turning red as well. Had anyone bothered to come over to this side, they would've been immediately kicked out of the spring because the situation was becoming obvious.

"Is that you, my scarlet goddess?"

Cue instant boner-shrinker.

Gaara tucked her boob back into the towel and retrieved her hand from Naruto's lap. "I thought I made it clear that I didn't want to have anything to do with you."

Fukuyama laughed jovially, doing his damndest to try to ignore the glare of the shinobi. "That was just because I was being too forward! I'm sure that a nice virgin girl like you would naturally be nervous around a man such as myself!"

"Naruto, take me to bed."

Taking the time to savor the moment, Naruto raised her to her feet and asked, "Should I get our clothes as well?"

"Fuck the clothes, we aren't going to be using them."

"That's true."

They shared a secret smile between as they left Fukuyama and the other gaping guests behind and ran naked through the hallways.


Tsunade scowled at her incompetent subordinates. She was upset. Why did she even put up with this crap?

"You're saying that there are three shinobi missing and you still haven't found them? Are you ANBU or are you still academy brats? We don't know what's causing the gender swap, simply that Naruto is clearly the center of it and you let him get away? What's wrong with you?"

The ANBU agents shivered under her cold rebuke. When she was drunk, Tsunade was scary as hell. When she was sober, she was worse. They would pay dearly if they didn't successfully complete their mission, but they couldn't help but wonder what else was so high at stake. Sure, Naruto was likely the source of all the hubbub with the gender-bending, but it seemed like their Kage had an ulterior motive as well… They, of course, were unaware of how the cougar had stocked up on erotic fiction featuring young, vulnerable men and the older women who instructed them in the art of loving. Naruto was but a mere kitten that she wanted to adopt. The ANBU knew nothing regarding this matter and it was probably better that way.

"We apologize for our ineptitude, Tsunade-sama." They all bowed deeply, each hoping that they wouldn't be the one on the chopping block if things didn't go as planned.

"Damn right, you will! Get back my Naruto!"

She had certain things she wished to discuss with him.


Gaara was irate that they hadn't had ultrasex yet, but she knew that patience would get her through this trying time. Naruto had insisted that they should dry off so that neither of them would get a cold or something stupid like that. Sabaku no Gaara didn't get colds. (She was also not familiar with the saying 'idiots can't catch colds'.) And now he was looking for something in his bag. Naruto clearly did not know the Icha Icha way of living. What was supposed to happen was that after they got back into their room, he'd shag her brains out, rendering her content and full of warm sperm. What did happen was that he had to be concerned about her wellbeing for some stupid reason.

He triumphantly retrieved a small foil square and began to open it. Gaara stood at his shoulder and asked, "What's that? Candy?"

"It's a condom, Gaara. It's for safe sex." He pulled the thin latex sheath out of its packaging and showed it to her.

"I like dangerous sex better." She took it from his hands and threw it out the window, whereupon a cat happened to discover it and began chewing on it.

"Dammit, those are expensive…"

Gaara wouldn't have any more delays. "Shut up and sleep with me."

"You're getting as bad as Sasuke."

"Don't compare me to her." The thought that Naruto could even do so made her sick.

"Can I please put a condom on?"


Naruto sighed. "Where's this plan of yours and where do you want to start?"


'Here' was the traditional sixty-nine. Naruto felt he was game for that. Gaara kissed his mouth once and sunk to the floor, legs parted scrumptiously as she awaited for him to complete the number. He straddled her, knees at her head, his face buried between her legs. Naruto breathed a gust of heated air on her expectant lips and took pleasure in her squirm. His tongue dipped down to tease her, dropping his hips slightly to make the position more comfortable. On his lower half, he felt her open her mouth to take him inside and suckle at the semi-hardness. Her thin fingers wrapped around his thighs to keep him steady. Naruto delved his tongue inside her and twirled a sharp, short circle with it. Nails dug into his skin and a vibration ran through his erection as she moaned, making it twitch in excited response.

Gaara removed her mouth from his cock. "Do that again or I'll kill you."

Naruto did it again. Gaara sucked him harder. She wasn't as good at it as Sasuke was, but that's not to say that it wasn't enjoyable. What she lacked in natural ability, she made up for in enthusiasm. Average head was better than no head. Gaara didn't bring him to a finish; instead, she wriggled out from beneath him and retrieved the sketched-on paper to his great disappointment. But he supposed that this would be their warm-up and that with a little more patience, he would be rewarded.

"I want to do this next."

"I've always wondered what it would be like to have sex on the ceiling."

Gaara charged the chakra in her feet and walked up the wall, then attached herself to the ceiling as she pumped chakra into her back. Naruto did the same and gathered up some of his own chakra in his shins and forearms to keep him rooted to where he was supposed to be.

"This is weird…" Naruto noted as he tilted his head back to get an aerial view of the room.

Gaara frowned at him and he began to rock his hips into her gently to make sure he wouldn't fall. When that test proved to have a good result, he kicked it up a notch. He thrusted faster, mental balance split between maintaining position and their pleasure. Gaara was rather enjoying herself. In fact, she was enjoying herself so much that she began to forget to control her chakra properly. Now, as you may know, there is a significantly fewer amount of outlets for chakra in a person's back than in their front. In this situation, if one outlet was neglected and it suddenly shut down, they would fall.

Which is what happened now.

The sand quickly gathered beneath them to provide a landing pad, but it wasn't much comfort.



"Just so you know, sand isn't soft."

"Are you injured?"

"No, no, not at all. I'm just wondering whether my back is broken or not."

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated."

"Let's just bill that as bad judgment and move on."

"Your turn to pick." It was only fair, after all.

"What was that one with you stretching?"

"Rainbow bridge."

"Need I say more?"

Gaara stood up and bent backwards, back arching as she locked herself into the position. Naruto watched her ankles shake unsteadily.

"So I'm supposed to fold over you and we're going to do it that way."


"Can I say that this is another bad idea? I mean, it would make more sense for me to be standing up, not to mention that fact that I don't think you can support both our weight. You can barely handle your own."

Gaara's arms buckled and she gave in to the evil forces of gravity. "You have a point."

"Hey, I was also wondering what this was. It looks just like regular sex."

There was more to it than Naruto realized yet. "Remember that technique you invented?"

"Oiroke no Jutsu?"

"Yes. Perform it."

"Okay…" He made the sign he had gotten familiar with. "Oiroke no Jutsu!"

In a burst of smoke, a busty blonde girl with her hair done up in pigtails stood in Naruto's place. Gaara put her hands together to perform her own henge. When the smoke cleared, her former male self stood in her place. Naruto suddenly knew where this was going. He was strangely curious to see how this would work out.

"If you get me pregnant, I'm going to kill you."

Gaara's lip twitched and it was evident to Naruto that she wanted to smile, but didn't dare. "I'll try not to."

Gaara kissed him, letting her hands curve around his perky bottom. Naruto gave a soft, breathy moan that sent a fair amount of blood down to Gaara's cock until it was pressing insistently at the furry patch below Naruto's waistline. Naruto rubbed his breasts against Gaara's now-flat chest and ran his fingers over her cock.

"Have you ever been pleasured by a woman before, Kazekage-sama?" Naruto asked in his best 'sweet girl' voice.

Sticky precum spurted onto his treasure trail as Gaara's male body reacted the way she'd imagine Naruto's would in such a situation. Did being the boy feel as good as being the girl during ultrasex? She didn't know, but she couldn't wait to find out. She currently held a significant interest in her penis she'd never had while she was still biologically male. Satisfying herself that way had never come to mind, even during those long, lonely nights. But having her cock stroked felt good. Perhaps they should do things this way more often. She liked having Naruto assist her in discovering the ways her body could be pleasured.

"I want to fuck you right now…" She whispered as Naruto gently squeezed her manhood and tickled her balls with a curved fingernail.

"Then what's stopping you, Ka-ze-ka-ge-sa-ma?" He purred, giggling girlishly.

Gaara buried her nose in the flesh at Naruto's jugular and inhaled as deep as she could. "Why are you so good at being a woman?"

"You're not half bad at it yourself, Gaara-chan."

Her cock rubbed at Naruto's entrance insistently before dipping in. The heat overwhelmed her, she groaned and the henge broke. She was back to her female self. Her pussy rubbed against Naruto's and she found herself disappointed.

"Gaara, maybe you should consider building up your chakra control level so that stuff like that doesn't keep happening."

"If I do, can I sleep with you when you're a girl and I'm a boy?" It would give her something to work forward to.

"Sure. That'd be an interesting experience." He dispelled the Oiroke no Jutsu. "Where to from here, sweetheart?"

"The bathroom sink."

Once they'd worked their way into the bathroom, Gaara bent over and spread her legs wide. She didn't have to look back to see Naruto surveying her as he stepped forward, she could see him in the mirror before her. His hands curved around her hips and he kissed the back of her neck as his cock rubbed against her pussy. He dipped his head in teasingly, making shallow thrusts and being careful that no part other than that entered her. She groaned in frustration at his coyness. One impudent index finger began rubbing her swollen clit in time with his cock and she felt electrified.

"Oh!" she gasped as she found her pussy tightening around his manhood. "Naruto…!"

Each stroke garnered a unique twitch or jerk of the hips from her as she felt her toes curling, body buzzing with sensation. She felt like she was floating higher and higher into oblivion on a bubble of pleasure. Then it popped and she plummeted into her orgasm, spouting incoherent gibberish as she came.

Naruto left sticky kisses on her collarbone as she panted, trying to recover as quickly as possible. "Did Gaara-chan like that?"

"Shut up!" she spat, glowering at him over her shoulder.

His lips crushed against hers in a kiss and he sheathed himself completely inside her. He thrusted just right, curving upward to nail her special spot in the way only he seemed to be able to. Her fingers curved into claws and she arched to push him deeper. Having sex with Naruto made her believe in such ridiculous things as magic because there was no way anything that when broken down scientifically was completely repulsive could feel so good. The hard countertop was uncomfortable to be bent against, but she forgot about it for the most part. He leaned down and whispered dirty things in her ear, licking and biting it when he couldn't think of what to say. While the words were completely unnecessary, they added to the experience.

"Nnngh…" she groaned, feeling the bowstring draw of imminent orgasm. The death threats weren't necessary for now. He was going to follow through. "Naruto…"

He chuckled lowly. "Look at yourself, sweetheart. Are you in the habit of making that face?"

Gaara opened one dark-shadowed eye to view herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed under her wildly scattered hair, sticking to her flesh with her sweat. Her mouth was ajar and she was gasping unabashedly. She shook every time Naruto thrusted, but he held her steady. How shameful for the Kazekage to be this brazen. They weren't even doing it on a bed the proper, normal way. Somehow, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed for her nation a little.

His strokes grew more frantic and Gaara knew that Naruto would be filling her with himself soon. Her mind wandered to his lovely, luscious cock and shivered happily. Naruto shuddered in response and came, riding the orgasm for all it was worth to the last drop. Gaara was quick to recover and pulling Naruto into their bed before he even had a chance to take a breather.

He contorted his hands into the position necessary for the technique. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

A doppelganger of Naruto smiled at Gaara as he sat on the wrinkled sheets, cock already erect. He kissed her and pulled her onto his lap, her back to his perfectly duplicated face. The real Naruto stroked himself appreciatively as he watched his double's manhood disappear into her. The clone wrapped his arms around Gaara and laid down, her legs widespread so that the real Naruto had access to her as well. Would this really work as Gaara intended it to? Either way, his knees would be hurting after this.

"How's it feel so far?"

"Perfect fit."


Naruto put his cock above that of the bunshin at Gaara's entrance. At first, it wouldn't go in, but she used her fingers to widen her entrance and Naruto quickly buried himself to the hilt with the Band-Aid theory in mind, hoping it wouldn't cause her as much pain. She flinched, trying to block out the pain to the best of her ability as her womanhood was filled to bursting.

Naruto was quick to notice. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head and Naruto immediately dismissed the bunshin, pulling out as she trembled beneath him. "You know, you would get into less trouble if you could settle for vanilla sex, sweetheart."

"It hurt…" She was shell-shocked and she buried her face in Naruto's neck to let him comfort her. This was the first time sex had truly caused her pain. She hadn't known it could be anything but pleasurable.

"I know, I know…" He rolled off of her and held her close. "I should've tried to make you change your mind."

He patted her back, very inappropriately wondering if he should still be turned on by this display of vulnerability. His dick said yes, his brain said no. Both opinions were almost equally important. They did agree on one thing and that was that girls liked sensitivity in a man and wanted someone who would be their crying shoulder and doing this would end up with the aforementioned getting laid. Then again, most girls' troubles were about a fight they had with their friend or the death of their cat, not 'I tried to stuff two dicks in my cooch and it hurt'. Naruto hoped that his boner didn't give her the wrong impression.

"Are you going to sleep now?" He asked, rubbing circles on her back. 'Don't go to sleep and leave me with a raging stiffy!'

"No…" She rested her hands on his manhood and kissed him. "I still want to do a little more with you."

'Dear Kami, I finally acknowledge that you exist.'


After some nice, simple vanilla T-square sex, Gaara was content and full of warm sperm. Also after the nice, simple vanilla T-square sex, Gaara had requested some mind-numbing pillow talk. Naruto, while telling her that his head was very empty and that he wasn't thinking of anything right now, was actually thinking that Gaara was getting way too good at being a girl and that included all the bad things about women. Wanting to share feelings and shit. Ugh. She hadn't quite gotten to that stage yet, but he shuddered to think of what that would be like.

But the time had come again to move on. He wanted to get some sleep that wasn't interrupted by sex, as crazy as that sounded. His hand was on the door when Gaara sensed his impending departure and woke up. Though her eyes were blurry, she knew what she saw.

"You're leaving."

"Cresselia isn't going to find herself."

"Right." She had no plans on impeding upon his search.

Naruto adored her for that. "I'll see you again soon."

"I know."


When the three girls who had gone out searching returned to Konoha to report to one another, they all claimed they'd seen neither hide nor hair of Naruto. They each had their doubts in the verity of the stories they heard from one another, but only one had hers confirmed. She'd been played in the worst way and she was so far behind the competition that she wondered if she could ever catch up. As Gaara and Sasuke limped away, Neji wondered what she'd missed out on and felt her heart grow tremendously jealous. Perhaps things would be better off if she could keep them away from her Naruto.

Perhaps they would both just be better off dead.

They and everyone else who dared to get in her way.

The incubi waiting in the shadows shared a smile as they sensed her hatred and bitterness making the mote of darkness being nursed at the center of her heart swell drastically. Things were going just as their master had expected and they silently praised his cleverness.

Like this was really all just about having kits…


Hopefully my male reviewers will continue to review. Reviews are how I get inspired for each chapter and how you can learn more about the story! Oh, and by decree of my brain meats, the real girls will start getting in on the action soon. Yes, you read correctly. Future smexiness includes: NaruSaku, NaruHina, and NaruTen. May there be mass high-fiving all around. In the fake girl sector, there'll be NaruKiba and NaruShika in addition to the rest of the man-ladies that have already had their go. All of the aforementioned ladies have a specific fetish or preferred style of sex (except for one, who will be under the influence of the infamous drug of debatable existence 'Spanish Fly' via the incubi). See if you can guess who'll have what.

On that note, I will be doing more het fiction in the near future. Now you'll have a reason to not automatically delete the things the things that get sent to you in your inbox because you happen to have me on Author Alert! When it comes to that, I usually write NaruHina but I've also been feeling this draw towards SasuHina and NaruSaku… And yes, there will probably be some NarufemGaa (or NarufemSasu) out of familiarity towards the characters. As for other series, you'll see Yûko x Watanuki (xxxHolic) and Chika/Shito/Yomi/Zarame x Michiru for Zombie-Loan (which happens to be a great manga series that you may or may not have heard of and should go check out now, they've got great scans at onemanga dot com or you could buy the manga from Yen Press which does excellent translations that catch things the scans miss). I'm talking too much…

Live long and prosper, minna-san, at least until the next chapter comes out.