Author's note: I'm a die-hard Booth/Brennan fan and even though I've been a major fanfiction writer for years, I was always very nervous about venturing into Bones fic myself, mostly because I find it very challenging unlike any other fandom and there are so many other talented writers out there in this fandom --- but I just had to give it a try with at least a one shot. So here it is. It's nothing much. Just a little something that I couldn't get out of my head. Comments/feedback are love, but PLEASE be gentle. No bashing me or this ship please. :)
Author's note #2: This one shot takes place somewhere at the end of season 2 & beginning of season 3 -- that's how I picture it in my head. And if your confused, for this story...I killed Russ off .. it's already a preconcieved thing when it starts.. so it's already happened...Some people weren't clear on that for some reason.. so I thought I'd make it clear here, just in case. And this whole story was inspired by the song, "Broken Bridge" by Daughter Darling.
All My Spaces
It was cold. And it was dark. And it felt like the end of the world.
It's not like she knew any different though. Death hung over her everyday -- like a cloud. Black. Twisted. And Ugly. It was all bones -- staring at up her -- day after day - hour after hour - mintue after minute. Almost like it had become apart of her being. All death. Never life. It was easier to be who she was. Because if she were to unlock the real Temperance -- somewhere hidden deep within the crest of her soul -- the tears -- the hundreds of thousands of emtions that had been building up inside of her like a volcano --- would never stop flowing.
Though someone had the keys. And that's why she kept him in a special place inside of her. Never allowing herself to
She wasn't used to it any other way.
But this was different now. She couldn't tuck this into her soul like she did with all the other countless victims she's come across.
Ratioanilty didn't exist. Maybe if she hadn't of locked her feelings away for the last sixteen years, the feeling of grief seering through her body wouldn't be quite as harsh.
For a woman who knew everything and anything about the objective world -- all facts and number and things she can prove -- she knew nothing else. Her greatest downfall. But the only thing she did know --- was him.
He was filled all her spaces -- her parent's disapernace, her brother adomanting her -- foster care - finding her mother's remains -- her parent's criminal past - watching her brother and father leave her again -- From day one he consumed her -- All the spaces -- the deep holes that her past left -- he filled them in his his prescnece -- his love -- the warmth of his smile -- the
And maybe she did take him for granted. That he would just always -- be here.
But it wasn't unnoticed. He was not unnoticed.
She was aware of him -- every waking second of every day -- aware of what they had - aware of what they could have.
She then felt the firm but tender touch of his hand on the small of her back.
A jolt of electiricty. She tried to ingore it -- like always.
This time -- she didn't want to. Maybe she was tired. Maybe she wanted to live ... surrounded by all this death.
She felt herself give in. She closed her eyes and just stood there soaking up the comfort of his touch.
She felt his breath on the back of her neck. He was standing inches away.
But he didn't say anything. He knew that just him being there was enough.
Because he simply knew her better than anyone.
"Come on ... Bones", he whispered gently into her ear. "I need to get you inside. You're soaking wet."
"What?" she asked confused. Then she looked up into the gray sky. When had it started raining?
"Oh. I hadn't even noticed", she said into the air without turning around to face Booth---. defeated and weak. And suddenly she realized her hair was wet. Drops of rain was dripping off her face -- the tip of her nose. She was shivering. And frozen. And she felt like never moving from this spot.
She closed her eyes. "I-I can't Booth."
His arm moved stayed on her back. He slowly started to stoke it -- like a constant reminder that he was right by her side -- and that he wasn't going to leave.
"Yes, you can. Let me help you."
She opened her eyes. He could help, yes. Just being here helped fill her with warmth deispite the coldness of the rain. But the guilt weighing on her soul was hurroendous. Nothing could help that.
"I-I could have done something. I should have. I should have listend to him Booth", she said silenty. But she felt vile rise in her throat. The door was open now. And there was no way to stop the emotions from flooding right through. "And now he's dead - Just another pile of bones, right? Just another day on the job!"
Then he did something unexpected.
He grabbed her by the arm and spinned her around. Their faces -- their lips -- their eyes -- were inches apart. The rain was coming down in sheets around them.
"No --- it's not your fault. It's not your fault. Do you understand me, Bones!? It's not your fault!"
Tears flooded her eyes --and rolled down her face - or maybe it was the rain. No -- it was her tears. And there was no stopping them. She could hear herelf whimpering -- cyring like a baby -- openly weeping in front of the whole world -- or more importantly her whole world --the man standing right in front of her to see.
She was muttering now. Babbling. She couldnt control the words coming out of her mouth. She running on pure emotion and nothing else. She didn't know anything anymore. (Except him.) She felt like she was on the edge of everything she's never been. Like she could fall off a cliff at any moment, but at the same time she wasn't afraid, because she knew she'd have someone to catch her before she hit the ground. "I-I could have .. I could have-have done -- some- something... anything... "
He reached up and placed both of his hands on her face .. and locked his eyes with her. "Shhhh. Bones. It's gonna be okay -- it's gonna be okay", he said over and over again --- gently. His lips practically brushing the side of her cheek.
She couldn't stop herself. She didn't know what would. "I-I could have.. I could--
He must have been in a desperete plea to silence her. To show her that everything would be okay. That she would get through this somehow. And surive.
".. I could--
Before another cry could escape her mouth, he cupped her face ever so tightly and took his lips and pressed hem sensually against her forehead. They stood there, embraced. Her hands were in his hair. Tears and rain were falling down in spades. She coudldn't depict one from the other. The only thing she was aware of was the feeling of his lips on her wet and smooth skin.
It was indescribaable. She didn't know that anything -- could feel that .. good.
Everything was more vivid now. Alive.
Something was different now. They couldn't go back. She couldn't go back. Even if she wanted to.
But they could continue to ignore it -- like always - until the time was right. If that time ever came.
But whatever happened next -- whatever would come along and threaten to punch another hole in her soul -- she knew he's be there to fill it. ... He filled all her spaces.
If only he knew.
She'd be lying to herself if she said she didn't know what this means. What all this means. What he means to her. And it goes beyond anthropological meaning. It goes beyond fact or logic. And she knows she can't look at it under a microscope or examine it in her hands like she can with a bone to prove it exists. But that dosen't mean it's not real.
He taught her that.
Maybe one day she would tell him.
How much she loved him.