"Well, that was a waste."
"Did you notice Jack didn't even hesitate to send you and I? God forbid Vivian or Sam have to drive all the way to Pennsylvania to chase down some lead that didn't get us anywhere," Danny grumbled.
Martin rolled his eyes, unable to stop his lips from turning up in a small grin. "Yeah, poor us," he replied.
"Shut up Fitz," he said, smiling. "What's going on with this traffic? We haven't moved in twenty minutes," Danny complained.
"It's snowing, the roads are bad, what do you think happened?" Martin asked sarcastically. "It's probably an accident…I'm sure they'll have it cleared in a little bit."Hour 3
Danny could think of worse places to be. He was stuck in a car with Martin. Had been for about three hours now. It had given him sufficient time and space to tease the other man. Five years after they met and he could still make Martin blush. He considered it a personal accomplishment.
However, he was well aware that he'd yet to accomplish anything further than flirting. A flirting that Danny was positive Martin had picked up on by now. It had been five years after all. But still…they were just friends. Not that Danny resented or dismissed that friendship; he didn't. He treasured it. Martin was easily the most important person in his life.
But he wanted more. He'd wanted more for years now. Probably since they'd gone to San Diego together. And never before had he had such a problem making his feelings known to someone, but he was terrified of Martin's rejection. Even when they shared moments that Danny would swear Martin felt the same…he still couldn't bring himself to tell Martin the truth. That he wanted him. Badly.
Playing with fire had burned him before, but this time…this time would leave him permanently scarred if it didn't work out. Of that he was certain.
"What's taking so long?"Hour 5
"Well could you please find out what's going on?" Danny said angrily, snapping his cell phone shut and tossing it on the dashboard. "Sam doesn't know anything about the traffic."
"Really? Imagine that," he muttered.
"Shut up Martin!"
It had been three hours and they hadn't moved yet. Not even a little bit. No one seemed to know what was going on. There were no updates on the radio and no matter how many times Danny called Sam or Vivian he still hadn't gotten an answer.
"Is that guy still honking his horn?" Danny asked impatiently. He reached for the door handle, but Martin grabbed his arm.
"Stop it," he said quietly.
"Oh for God's sake; he's a moron," Danny shouted, shrugging off Martin's touch and crossing his arms over his chest. "How is that going to help?"
"How is your getting out of the car going to help?" Martin asked.
Danny turned to face him and smiled sweetly. "If I flash my badge and my gun that might help. If I shoot my gun, it might really help."
Martin rolled his eyes.
"Maybe we should try to help."
"Are you serious? You're serious, aren't you? Christ Martin, I can't believe you. We should get out and find out what the fuck is going on, because we've been sitting here for hours and if I have to sit here for another minute I will--"
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry I said anything! This is no picnic for me either you know."
Danny glared at him for a few moments before turning away. This was why they wouldn't work out. They couldn't. Nine hours together and they were fighting. Hell, they'd been fighting four hours ago. It wasn't going to stop. They'd never work. They'd only fight and hurt each other.
Two more minutes and Danny promised himself he'd lean over and kiss Martin.
"Do you have any--"
"I already told you I don't have any food Martin! And would you turn the car back on? It's freezing in here!" Danny yelled.
"We have to save gas…there's no telling how long we'll be here."
"I already told you, we could be well on our way past this if you would just drive up on the shoulder and--"
"Danny, if I do that then everyone will start doing it and it'll just make things worse!" Martin yelled, his blue eyes flashing with anger.
Again, Danny was torn between the desire to hit Martin and to kiss the hell out of him. This was bad for his sanity. Trapped in a car with Martin for eleven hours. If someone had asked him how he'd feel about that this morning he would've grinned in response. It would've given him butterflies and he would've spent the rest of his day fantasizing about it. What he could do with all that time…alone with Martin…
Now, he just wanted to strangle him.
"Okay, that's it. I'm getting out," Danny said resolutely, reaching for the door handle.
"Danny, just wait!"
"Are you kidding me?! Wait?! We've been here for…God how long have we been here?"
"13 hours," Martin answered, sounding miserable.
"See?! See?! 13 hours?! That's ridiculous Martin! We need to do something now."
"What do you want to do?"
"Turn on the siren, drive up on the shoulder and find out what the hell is going on. Or drive up on the shoulder and get off at the next exit. I don't care! But if we sit here for five more minutes I am going to go insane!" he yelled, frustrated and cranky.
"Danny, we shouldn't do that, it would just--"
"You said you wanted to help! If we move somewhere maybe we can," Danny interrupted.
"But I'm sure there are police handling it and we'd just--"
Again, Danny cut him off. "We're fucking FBI! Put on the damn siren and drive! We can explain things to the cops once we see them…assuming they're actually here, which I doubt because have you seen or heard anything to indicate that?! I sure as hell haven't." He held up his hand when Martin started to say something, not letting him speak. "Just do it! For God's sake, what are you worried about? So we step on the toes of some local cops…who cares?! Hell, you're FBI royalty…no one's going to do anything once you flash your badge!"
Martin's eyes widened for just one second before he turned away. His mouth was set in a firm line that told Danny just how angry he was now. And Danny hadn't missed the very brief flash of hurt that had shown in his blue eyes before he'd turned away. Danny wanted to kick himself for those last words. He wanted to take them back because he didn't think of Martin like that anymore. And he knew just how much those particular words would get under Martin's skin. Furthermore Danny knew that coming from him…they'd hurt even more.
But he couldn't take them back. Not now. It would only make things worse. An hour later they still hadn't said anything else. Finally, Martin reached out and turned the ignition back on. Danny raised his eyebrows and turned to look at the other man but he didn't say anything.
At least he'd been able to sleep for a while. When he woke up, he found Martin doing the same. They'd turned the ignition off again to save gas, but Danny had to fight the urge to reach across the other man and turn it back on. He was freezing.
Another option would be to pull Martin close, hold him tightly…revel in their shared body heat.
Somehow, he doubted Martin would allow that right now.
Instead, Danny watched him sleep, still wishing he could take back his earlier words because he knew they'd hurt. And the last thing he'd wanted to do was hurt Martin. Sure he annoyed the hell out of him sometimes, but…it didn't matter.
Sighing, Danny turned away and leaned back slightly in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest and trying to warm up.
Today was turning out to be horrible.
"Yeah, we're fine Jack…just tired." He paused, nodding to himself as he heard Jack tell them not to bother rushing back to New York now that they were finally free of the traffic jam. They'd just found their missing person. Besides, Martin and Danny were both exhausted; Jack suggested they get some rest before driving back. "Ok, Jack thanks. Bye."
Danny hung up and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He was tired and hungry and all he wanted was to find somewhere that they could unwind. It would probably be good for them to spend a little time apart before things got any worse.
"Jack says we can grab a hotel, that we don't need to come back to New York tonight."
Martin nodded in response, making no other attempt to acknowledge that he'd heard him. Had Danny not been watching Martin, he would've missed it. A few more miles down the road he pulled off and into the parking lot of a typical looking chain-hotel. They were both relieved to get out of the car, to be able to stretch their legs better and move from the same position they'd been in for almost twenty hours.
Danny was anxious to get inside. To get them both hotel rooms, settle in with some room service and some television and fall asleep. He hoped that the night apart would ease some of the tension that was still lingering between them. His fault, he knew…for what he'd said casually. He'd truly meant no harm, but at the same time, he easily knew the best way to wound Martin was through his pride and position. But Danny also knew that it ran a little deeper than just that. Because after months of distrust and dislike, Danny and Martin had tentatively begun forming a friendship. A friendship that had grown continually stronger over time, and that had become so important…to both of them.
"What do you mean you only have one room?!"
Danny shook his head, forcing himself out of his thoughts at the sound of Martin's shrill voice. He walked a little closer to where Martin stood at the counter, wanting to hear his conversation better. Somehow, he didn't think joining him would be a good idea.
"I'm sorry sir, but with the traffic tie up we're almost all full," the man behind the desk explained patiently.
Martin was very still and he didn't say anything for a few moments. Danny watched carefully, crossing his arms over his chest as Martin reached into his coat and pulled out his badge.
Despite his exhaustion and regretful mood, Danny almost laughed. Whereas Special Agent Fitzgerald could interrogate suspects and use his authority to an advantage…Martin Fitzgerald could not. It just wasn't in him to sound convincing enough to make good on a threat while flashing his badge when it wasn't warranted.
Still, it did make the hotel employee pale a little bit. And when he gave Martin the same explanation as before he stuttered, but the end result was the same. One room left. And two of them.
Neither of them said a word to each other as they checked into their hotel room. Besides looking incredibly tired, Martin also looked angry – maybe from his recent failure at a bribe or more likely because of their ordeal – and slightly sad. Danny wasn't sure what to do now. Knew he had to do something, but he couldn't quite figure it out yet…so he remained wisely silent.
What the desk clerk had failed to mention – perhaps out of fear – was that the only room he had left also only had one Queen-sized bed. Again, a part of Danny wanted to laugh…and the idea of sleeping next to Martin was definitely a pleasant one, but he knew better. He kept his expression blank and his mouth shut. But Martin looked worse now…still angry, still strangely sad…and something else Danny couldn't identify.
Martin kicked off his shoes and proceeded to look frustrated as he glanced around the room. Danny sighed and took a step towards him, unsure of what he should do, just knowing that sooner or later he'd have to do something.
"Martin…I'm sorry," he said softly. They stood feet apart, a corner of the bed between them. Danny felt himself tremble nervously.
Martin looked up sharply and met his eyes. Neither of them said a word as they stared at each other, the air between them growing thicker by the minute. Danny hesitated and then took a step closer, raising his hand slightly with every intention to touch Martin on the shoulder…something simple and friendly. He wanted to see the anxiety leave those blue eyes. Wanted something softer…
But Martin stepped back abruptly, almost scared, and shook his head slightly. "I'm going to take a shower."
With that he turned and walked quickly into the small bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Danny closed his eyes and sighed. Frustrated, he ran his hands through his hair and stood still for a few moments. Unable to stay in the room right now, he rapped lightly on the bathroom door. "I'm going to go get us something to eat," he said.
He paused, waiting a few minutes for some sort of response. When he was sure none was forthcoming, he turned to leave, grabbing one of their keycards and opening the door.
He turned back slowly and met Martin's eyes as he peeked out of the bathroom, his face pressed between the halfway-open door and the wall. There was a very small look of acceptance and surrender there, and something inside Danny warmed just a little bit. He smiled lightly and nodded. "If that's what you want."
Martin nodded, his eyes lingering on Danny's for a moment more before he shut the door again. It wasn't quite so hard to leave now, knowing that at the very least Martin would talk to him enough to thank him for the pizza.
When he got back to the room, he found Martin perched on the edge of the bed, flipping through television channels randomly. He was still dressed in the same wrinkled pants and shirt that he'd been in all day, his tie draped across the single chair in the room, his shoes placed neatly beneath the same chair. His hair was damp from the shower and his feet were bare. Danny smiled softly, unable to take his eyes off of him. He saw himself sitting down next to him, running his fingers through that damp hair, kissing his neck, his chin…pulling him into his arms….
"What kind did you get?" Martin asked, looking up at Danny curiously and interrupting his daydream.
Danny cleared his throat and shook his head slightly, trying to rid himself of the images of Martin in his arms. "Just pepperoni…simple," he answered, setting the box down on the small, wobbly table. He took out a slice and remained standing as he ate it, suddenly nervous to sit down next to Martin on the bed and eat. After he finished a second piece he slipped off his shoes and announced his intentions to take a shower, happy to escape to the relative privacy of the bathroom.
What had been sort of a private surprise earlier – their inevitable sharing of one bed – was now a bit unsettling. Danny wasn't completely sure he could sleep the whole night with Martin lying next to him and not be affected. Physically or emotionally.
He felt somewhat calmer when he came out of the shower, but he still wasn't quite sure how to handle the evening. Apparently, neither was Martin because Danny found him sitting on the edge of the bed still, feet firmly on the floor as if things would be safer that way. Danny grabbed another slice of pizza and sat on the other end of the bed, his back resting against the headboard. His confidence returned as he watched Martin's body tense slightly with his proximity. Nervous Martin, Danny could handle. And this was easy, wasn't it? He could tease and flirt like he normally did. The only difference of course – and it was a rather big one – was that they would be sharing a bed.
No matter their situation though, Danny was exhausted. He stood up again a few minutes later and shut the pizza box, made a quick trip to the bathroom to rub some courtesy toothpaste on his finger in an attempt to brush his teeth before returning to bed. Putting on an indifferent expression, he tugged at the blankets, pulling them down off the pillows, his eyes watching Martin carefully. Despite the safer option, Danny was not about to sleep in his wrinkled, day-old shirt and pants, so he slid them off carefully and crawled into bed in only his boxers.
"You're hogging the blankets," Danny said, trying to sound as lighthearted as possible. However, he wasn't surprised to hear his voice sound slightly roughened.
"What? I'm not even in bed," Martin replied, both an irritated and slightly hysterical tone to his voice.
"True, but you're sitting on it and you're making it hard for me to get comfortable."
Martin turned to look at him and rolled his eyes, exasperated. Danny didn't miss the fear that flashed through his eyes though, and he had to fight the urge to reach out and pull Martin closer. Martin stood up then and tossed Danny the remote before going into the bathroom.
Danny settled himself comfortably beneath the blankets and tried to concentrate on the TV. Really though, all he could think about was Martin…and how they were going to handle this. Obviously, Martin wasn't sure either and when he emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, he took his time coming any closer. Danny met his eyes and tried to smile lightly as if this wasn't a big deal, but Danny could see just how nervous he was. And when Martin finally seemed to make his decision to come closer, to get into bed, Danny wasn't at all surprised that he left his clothes on. Danny had to bite down on his lip, had to force himself not to laugh because on one hand he thought that Martin was being ridiculous. But he knew if he had any chance of reconciling the day he'd have to be careful.
Without a word, Martin climbed beneath the blankets, turning onto his side facing away from Danny and settling himself as close to his edge of the bed as possible. He reached up and turned off the lamp on the nightstand, darkening the room so that the only light flickered from the TV.
Danny smiled lightly, waiting. He wasn't exactly sure how to proceed, just knew that he had to do…something. He needed to make up for his earlier words, but more than that he couldn't let this opportunity go by without taking advantage. Still, he waited a few more minutes, pretending to search for something on television. He heard Martin sigh softly and Danny turned, watching him, his heartbeat quickening. Swallowing nervously, he took a deep breath and shifted slightly closer.
"Martin…you're being ridiculous," he said, sounding exasperated.
"What?" He turned slightly, meeting Danny's eyes. He sat up slightly, probably noticing that Danny had moved closer.
Danny rolled his eyes, reaching out to tug absently on Martin's shirt. "You've been in these clothes all day! Not to mention the fact that you're going to have to wear them again tomorrow when we drive back to New York."
"So?" Martin asked, pouting slightly.
Danny had to fight the urge to kiss him. "So…do you really want to sleep in them too?"
Martin's eyes widened and he blushed, but he didn't look away. "Danny…I'm not…going to…" he stumbled over his words, trying his best not to sound nervous.
But Danny knew differently…could see it plainly in his eyes, could read it in his tense body language and he knew he had to tread carefully. "You won't be comfortable," he murmured. Martin shook his head in response, unable to answer or to look away.
Neither of them said anything else for a few moments. Gently, Danny reached out, hand pausing in mid-air as if he wasn't quite sure before touching Martin's shoulder. He felt Martin tense up and suck in his breath sharply, but Danny didn't stop. He shifted slightly and moved closer, eyes following the movements of his fingers now, not quite confident enough to continue meeting Martin's gaze. Without a word, he reached for the buttons of Martin's shirt, fingers trembling slightly as he began undoing them.
Martin said his name very quietly, but he didn't make an attempt to stop him or to move away. Nonetheless, Danny could hear so much in his soft voice. Panic, fear…anticipation. And despite his earlier confidence, Danny was also nervous. His fingers brushed against Martin's chest and they both jumped. Eventually, Danny managed to undo all of the buttons and he tugged gently on the shirt, sliding it off Martin's shoulders before he could lose his nerve. Accidental almost when his fingers slid over Martin's back, but the soft, stifled whimper Danny heard was worth it. It became harder to breathe as he watched Martin stand up, quickly slipping out of his pants and back into bed. Again, he turned on his side, facing away from Danny trying to remain as far away as possible.
Sighing, Danny laid down again, settling as best he could on his back, his head turned towards Martin. He watched him quietly for a while, arguing with himself internally on whether it would be a good or bad idea to reach out and touch him. He could've taken things further…could've leaned in while he was unbuttoning Martin's shirt. Could've brushed his fingers against Martin's skin much more than the few times he had. But he'd found himself more nervous than he'd expected.
Now though…he wasn't quite sure how to make another move or even if he should. Things between them were still tense, even more so now that they were quiet. But Danny wanted more. He wanted to make up for his earlier words and he wanted to…God, how he wanted to touch Martin. Really touch him. And kiss him. He wanted to feel Martin beneath him, watch his eyes when Danny made him come. Wanted to hear what he sounded like when he came…
Shuddering, Danny lifted his arm, had almost reached out to touch Martin's shoulder, when he shifted, turning onto his other side to face Danny. His eyes were wide and filled with confusion and uncertainty. "Do you really still see me that way?" he asked suddenly, voice trembling just a little.
Danny frowned, confused. "What way?"
Martin waved his hand randomly in a direction that only made sense to him. "You know…as the boss's son," he said bitterly, eyes glaring at Danny. He looked as if he was daring Danny to tell him exactly that, but there was also that small glimpse of desperation that ran right alongside the anger. The pleading sort of hope that Danny didn't see him like that anymore.
Quickly, Danny shook his head and slid closer to Martin; he ached to reach out and touch him. "No Fitz, I don't see you that way anymore. I haven't for a very long time," he murmured, eyes soft as he looked into Martin's troubled ones. "I'm sorry for what I said before…I was just frustrated and angry and lashing out at you because you were there," he explained. "I didn't mean it."
Martin sighed, nodding slightly as he looked briefly at Danny's eyes and then away again. His expression let Danny know that he'd pretty-much accepted Danny's apology, that he knew Danny had just been lashing out. But something else was bothering him; Danny could tell. He sighed again and met Danny's eyes looking apprehensive.
"What is it Fitz?" he asked softly
"Just…" he paused, looking frustrated. "I know today was aggravating and tiring but I…I didn't mind being stuck in the car all day…with you," he said softly, blushing slightly as he averted his gaze. "But you didn't seem to…feel the same…" he trailed off, looking embarrassed. "That you'd rather be anywhere else than stuck with me…"
Danny swallowed hard, surprised and in no way certain of what he should say next. But maybe he didn't have to say anything. In fact, he was suddenly very sure that words would in no way help his situation. So he took a chance…the one he'd been afraid to take for so long.
He slid closer, close enough to feel the heat coming off of Martin's body, to feel how nervous he was. He touched his fingers to Martin's cheek and then his neck, watching as Martin swallowed hard, as his eyes widened. "Trust me Fitz," he whispered, leaning in until his face was inches from Martin's. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."
Danny kissed him. Martin's body stiffened completely for just a moment before trembling. Danny pressed one hand to the side of Martin's face, the other sliding gently over his shoulder and down his arm, leaving goose bumps in its wake. Danny pulled back for a moment, watching as Martin's eyes fluttered open, meeting his gaze with a confused yet willing look. Quickly, before his thoughts became a hindrance, Danny kissed him again, slipping an arm beneath Martin and pulling him closer. He moaned softly when Martin opened his mouth; shivered as their tongues touched. Danny pressed closer and kissed him deeper, thrilled to meet cooperation and not resistance. They shifted further onto their sides and Danny let his hands begin to wander, loving the feel of Martin's arms around him, hands pressing into his bare back.
There was so much heat, nothing between them except a thin layer of boxers, legs became tangled quickly, hands searching further as they both pushed, pulled and touched, trying to get closer. And Danny had always known it would be like this.
Martin whimpered when their kiss finally broke, eyes a dark, stormy blue that took Danny's breath away. "Danny…" he said softly, breathless as he shook his head slightly, not sure of what he wanted to say.
But Danny knew. He kissed Martin again, softly this time, hands on either side of his face as he looked into his eyes. "Yes, I want you Martin. I've wanted you this way for a long time," he admitted, answering Martin's unspoken question.
Martin looked at him for a few moments, searching his eyes for something Danny wasn't quite sure of; but he seemed to find whatever it was and he smiled. Danny's heart fluttered, his eyes closing for just a moment as Martin touched his cheek gently, moving further to the back of his neck and pulling him down for another kiss.
It didn't take long for things to become heated, their kisses deepening, their touches bolder. Danny pressed his hand to the small of Martin's back, pulling him more firmly against himself, moaning into his mouth as he felt how hard Martin was. He slid his hand down Martin's side, loving the way the other man shivered, how he responded so eagerly to Danny's touch. He felt Martin's fingers press harder against his back as Danny ran his hand over his hip, fingers slipping beneath the waistband of his boxers, moving more until his palm lay against Martin's stomach. Danny met his eyes for just a moment and then pulled him close for another kiss, pressing their lips together tightly and tasting Martin's mouth again as he slid his hand lower, closing his fingers around hot skin and stroking his erection.
Martin moaned into his mouth, hips pushing upwards, thrilling to Danny's touch. And for all of Danny's fantasies and daydreams, it was nothing compared to this reality. The more Danny gave, the more Martin let go, his control slipping further from his grasp with every passing moment they shared. And Danny couldn't get enough.
Things grew blurry from there, touches more desperate, greedy almost as they rid each other of their boxers. Naked, hot, Martin pulled Danny on top of him, pushed his hips upwards, moaned as Danny ground down against him at the same time. It was hard to touch as much as they wanted, as fast as they needed…Danny tasting Martin's skin, sucking on his neck, forever coming back to his swollen lips, the soft, wet mouth he'd become so addicted to so quickly. And Martin couldn't seem to keep Danny close enough, tangling their legs together as they thrust and moved against one another, his hands mapping out Danny's skin over and over.
Danny watched as Martin fell over the edge, fingers digging into Danny's skin as he came, wet heat splashing between them, his name falling from Martin's lips. And it was that scene, of seeing Martin come that forced Danny's own orgasm, moaning loudly as he pressed Martin closer and kissed him desperately.
They lay together afterwards, gasping for breath, a heap of tangled limbs, Danny halfway on top of Martin, their arms around each other. Danny nuzzled his face against Martin's neck and kissed his heated skin gently, smiling as he felt Martin shiver.
When he found himself able to move again, he pushed himself up slightly and peered down at Martin, smiling at the nervous grin he was met with. "Amazing Fitz…" he whispered, pressing their lips together softly. "I knew it'd be this way," he murmured.
Martin blushed, something Danny saw regardless of Martin's already reddened cheeks. "I never thought that you'd…" Martin trailed off, gesturing at the two of them – and where they were now – to indicate the rest.
Danny nodded in response, understanding. Martin smiled again, his eyes softer than Danny could ever remember seeing them as he slid his fingers through Danny's hair and pulled him down for another kiss. "You know that I don't just want tonight," Danny whispered against Martin's lips. "I want more than just one night with you…a lot more," he admitted.
Martin looked up at him, his fingers trembling against Danny's cheek. Danny watched surprise flicker in his eyes, but it quickly changed to hope, happiness…desire. "So do I Danny," he replied softly, his voice shaking just a little bit. And Danny saw what was behind those words in his blue eyes.
Despite their exhaustion, they made the effort to get out of bed and shower, kissing softly under the warm spray of the water as they washed one another off. It was so easy to fall asleep then, the day's tension slipping away as they held one another close.
Danny woke up to the sound of his cell phone ringing. Cursing, he reached towards his nightstand, stopping when he realized he wasn't alone. He wasn't at home either. Disoriented for just a second, he smiled, almost laughing to himself the moment everything shifted back into place. He looked down at Martin, who was still sleeping peacefully against him, his arms firmly around Danny's waist. It was almost too good to believe, but Danny did believe it, and he ignored the last rings of his phone and kissed the top of Martin's head, pulling him closer as he lay down on the pillow again. He knew they would call again. Knew it was probably Sam or Jack or Viv, wanting to know if they were on their way back to New York.
But as far as Danny was concerned they could wait. Everything could wait. Because nothing was quite as important as who lay in his arms now. And what they had started together.