Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.

a/n This is kind of a tie-in to some of my other stories, I am writing it as a way to inspire myself or part three of my three part thing that I'm trying to write. Read my other story(part one) The Break up for back ground inform ation if you need to. In fact, read it any way. I have just started posting (part two) The Break up. Please read it as well. R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's not really as long as it looks!

Voldemort's Blog

Mood: Happy.

Hello, my name is Tom Marvolo Riddle, but you can call me Lord Voldemort. In fact, you'd better! Else I will e-crucio you, then com to your house and kill you while you sleep! Mwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!1

I am extremely happy today because my arch nemisis, Albus Dumbledore has been destroyed!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!! Let me tell you, the instant that I heard the news, I danced around the room singing!!!!!!!!!! You lose I win! You lose I win! LOL! In your face Dumbledore!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Until, to my extreme displeasure, I discovered that the Potter Brat, and all of his stupid little friends had survived!

Then, on top of all of this, I learn that Dumbledore had been murdered by the wrong minion! I had left specific orders that the old buffoon was to be killed by Draco Malfoy, and no one else. Apparently, the sneaky little ferret somehow managed to ensure the assistance of Severous Snape, who was the one who ended up doing the deed. That just pisses me off!!!!!!!!1

I mean, how would you feel if you gave specific orders, for a specific deed to be done by a specific person, then found out that soneone else had done it?

Let me tell you, I was furious! I had to crucio Wormtail twenty seven times before I was able to calm down and think rationally.

I realized that even though that Potter Brat is still alive, and all of my best deatheaters are in Azkaban, there are still somethings I can be thankful for:

1. Albus Dumbledore is Dead! dances around singing (it does that to me every time I say it!)

2. Now I get to kill Draco Malfoy.

3. Ditto Severous Snape.

4. Maybe if I offer to spare her son's life, Narcissa Malfoy will divorce Lucius and marry me! And finally,

5. Wormtail makes the best cookies, and he is so much fun to torture. crucio's Wormtail see?

And that is why I am so supremly happy. Now I must sign off, I am a busy man, and I need my beauty sleep.

Lord Voldemort signs off.


Bella4: My Lord, that was brilliant! No one blogs like you do. You are my hero! I am totally and completly honored to serve your amazing greatness!

Ratman: Master, thank you! From the bottem of my heart I thank you for that glorious complement concerning my cookies. I'm so very happy that you like them. I have just put a batch of your favorite kind into the oven, just come on in when your ready. thank you for the lovely crucios, they hurt magnificently.

Blueyedragon09: Hey Voldi, bestest Bloog ever! You is like the cooliest dawg eva!

AwesomePimpcane666: Voldemort! How could you even consider being with my wife? When have I ever been less than a good servant? Have I not done everything in my power to serve you? I am in Azkaban because of that service, and up until now I havent complained. Please reconsider.

GOLDnboy: Hey Voldy, you suck! I hope you get Bird flu!


To Bella4: I am honored that you admire me so. Please give my regards to your sister.

To Ratman: Wormtail you moron, get off of the computer and go make me some bloody cookies! You no good piece of crap!

To AwesomePimpcane666: Shut up and do your time Malfoy. And, just so you know, your pimp cane makes you look stupid, and your ponytail just makes you look gay.

To GOLDnboy: No, you suck! I hope you get Bird Flu! And SARS! And AIDS! And Breast Cancer! And Syphilis! And Gonarhea! And Herpies! And Crabs! And Poison Oak where the sun doesnt shine! And Diaper rash!!! I e-Crucio you!!!!!!!!!!1 Feel my wrath!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!11

To Blueyedragon09: Who are you?!1! Thanks for the review.


a/n like I said, this is kind of a time killer in between stories. It's main purpose is to be homorous, and fun to write. PLEASE REVIEW ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!