Another Pile of Dirty Clothes

A/N: Do not take this seriously. If I was Diane Duane, I would be working on my next book, not wasting my existence writing fanfics that will amount to nothing (which is exactly why we write them, no?)


Kit looked up from reading an article in his Wizard's Manual. Nita was tapping her pencil on the kitchen table. It was a very annoying noise, Kit thought. It just showed Nita didn't care about his theories. The article he was reading was about creating and proving theories. He had been shooting off suggestions all day. The sun was setting and dinner was beginning to smell good as his mother stirred the Chicken Alfredo sauce. The noodles were bubbling in a pot next to the sauce.

Nita yawned looking up at her best friend. Said boy cleared his throat saying, "Do you want to hear what I just figured out?"

Of course, Nita thought, I would be delighted to listen to yet another one of your insane ideas. "No," she said out-loud, "but I know you're going to tell me anyway."

"Exactly," Kit said, "so why argue?" Shuffling the pile of papers in which he had written down all of his hypotheses, he found a clean area, and grabbed the pencil Nita was tapping against the wood surface. "Okay, well, you know how that microchip Dairine turned into a planet was flat?"

Nita nodded having a bad idea where this was going. Kit continued, "Well, that just proves Earth is flat now doesn't it?"

Damn, Nita thought. She was right. "No, Kit. Just because that microchip was flat doesn't mean Earth is. It's round and you know it."

"Ah," Kit said, "but can you prove it?"

"Yes," Nita answered. "Look at history, and all those excursions. Christopher Columbus for one."

"Psh," Kit retorted, "that doesn't prove anything."

Nita rolled her eyes, snatching back the pencil to continue drumming. She sat back in the chair, beginning to get comfortable, when Kit interrupted.

"Have you noticed how dirty the world is?"

"Yes," Nita said. "It's almost as bad as your room. Have you considered ever cleaning it, instead of turning into a Philosopher? That place you call a room is a black hole. You open the door and you're never seen again."

"Shut up," Kit muttered. "Back on subject now, how can we make the world cleaner? You know what we need?"

"No," Nita said, completely uninterested, as she had been for the past seven hours. The only reasons she didn't go home was because the fridge was empty, and Roshaun was over. Nearly gagging she resolved to sit through Kit's Philosophy faze, rather than Dairine and Roshaun flirting.

"What we need," Kit declared, happily, "is a washing machine!"

Choking on her spit, Nita coughed. "A washing machine?!"

"Yes," he said, "we could run the Earth through the washing machine so it will come out cleaner!"

"Oh, sure," Nita said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Let's turn the world into a pile of dirty clothes, just so we can stick it into a washing machine for it to shrink! Yes, that's a perfect idea!"

Kit's chest puffed out. "Yes, I thought that too! Great minds really do think alike!"

Silence reigned for a moment longer, before Nita went back to tapping the pencil. Kit was shuffling through his Manual once again.

Carmela came around the corner, turning into the kitchen, munching on a Poptart.

"Oh," Kit's mom said, "we're about to eat."

Carmela shrugged, stuffing the rest of the chocolate Poptart into her mouth. When she had swallowed, she answered, "I'm still hungry."

Rolling her eyes, Kit's mom turned back around to continue ladling food onto plates. "Nita, dear, are you staying for dinner?"

Nita nodded, hoping she wasn't going to regret it.

"Kit, you might want to move your stuff elsewhere."

Kit looked up indignant. "It's not stuff, mom, these are theories. Full out theories that you may once hear become Laws of Nature."

"Well, until then," his mother retorted, "I shall call it stuff."

Muttering under his breath, he gathered the scattering paper into a pile, moving it to a counter. Continuing to mutter, he sat back down grumpily.

"Whoa!" Carmela said, "Wash out your mouth! That was the fifth swearword I heard!"

Kit's mother spun around holding the ladle. Carmela snickered, as Kit cried, "No! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't swear!"

She turned back around, winking at the two girls, doubled over in silent laughter. Nita straightened up. "Chicken."

Kit huffed, just as Ponch came into the kitchen. I heard chicken, or was that intended at Kit?

Great, Kit thought, even my own dog is making fun of me. So much for being a man's best friend.

As the table was filled with food, and people, Kit looked up. "Hey Nita?"

"Huh?" she said, noodles hanging out of her mouth.

"Where are we going to get a big enough washing machine?"

Nita had the sudden urge to throw a pencil at Kit.


A/N: I hope you liked it, because I did. Please review? (I'm pitiful, aren't I?)