(SORRY IT WILL TAKE A WHILE, BUT YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO READ THE A.N. BEFORE YOU START READING!!!)

Hello!!! Yes, it's me, Hilary.
I know, I still have to finish my first FF... but there's only one chapter left to go.
And I also know that I promised you a humoristic FanFiction named "Cosmo's Nightmare"... but I love this one.
I have a lot of disclaimers to write: first of all, the story's inspired to the wonderful song of Evanescence, My Immortal, as you can read in the title. Then, I used some words from the song somewhere in the FF. Here's the link of the words of the song, so you can see which ones I "stole":
http://angolotesti.leonardo.it/E/testicanzonievanescence114/testocanzonemyimmortal124285.html
Then again, the idea was originally for a short-movie with this songbut there weren't the clips -- so I made a one-shot of it.
More things: there is some bad grammar... I'm sorry, I'm not American and a special thank to Ana who helped me to fix it a little bit...
One last thing: you can't read this story without the song "My Immortal" in your ears. So first download it, play it (till you finished reading) and feel the athmosphere.
Now that you're ready with the song you can start reading...

MY IMMORTAL…

I'm so tired of being here…
Suppressed by all of my childish fears…
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave because your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone…
I'm here since two days by now, in the middle of this horrible darkness, in this narrow room which bounds me in my pain…
If I could, I would change the past in order to avoid that fight. Why for? Because of an anniversary. Because you pretended to have forgotten it. Because you pretended to be angry, but who cares about costumes? What really counted was being with you.
Once more, my stupid essence has ruined everything.
- Was it the false-anger anniversary?
- So Wanda said.
- Oh, no.. I forgot about it… and where is she now?
- I think she's at home crying a river. My parents aren't there, neither are the neighbours. The alley's desert, nobody will hear her… they're all at the Town Fair.
- What have I done…? I must tell her that I'm sorry!
I and Timmy appeared really far from the Turner's place, because I was really ashamed…
- Come on Cosmo it's not so difficult!
- Will… will she forgive me?
- Of course she will! She loves you! Come on!
I nerved myself, I was ready when…
The earth shook.
A strong earthquake, never happened in Dimmsdale, shook the empty alley. I picked Timmy up in my arms for saving him by keeping him in air with me, and meanwhile my magic wand fell into a fissure in the road. The houses started to fall down, but there was only one thought in my mind:
- Wanda!
Without my wand, I started to fly fast across falling poles and trees, with Timmy in my arms yelling scared. But he wasn't in danger, you were.
When I finally reached the house it was trembling; your desperate scream came from the inside: your wand was lost or broken…
Just like my life, my tears, my useless scream…
Five minutes later every kind of magic fairies were all around Turner's house, or better, all around its rests. A lot of them were making sure that no human would have arrived; the others were searching through the ruins, trying to find you before it was too late. I was just near Timmy, I had my hands on my mouth, I was shivering…
But it took too long. Ten minutes had passed when your arm finally came out of the ruins, which, as the doctors said, was broken. I got closer, watching your body coming out slowly, lifeless.
I didn't want to believe it until I saw your dirty inanimate face, your open empty pink eyes, your curly messy hair…
You couldn't have left like that…
And when I think of you now I steel feel you here, here with me, filling and captivating me by your resonating light…
My soul's dead with you… I feel too bad… worse than when I saw you coming out of the ruins… worse than when I touched you for realizing it… worse than when I held you and screamed, wetting you with my tears…
I'm bound in this dark room… bound by the life you left behind…
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there's just too much that time cannot erase.
I see you while I'm sleeping: your face hunts my once pleasant dreams and your voice chases away all the sanity in me.
Now I touch only mattress next to me; I hold it where there usually was your hand… just like happened in our honeymoon.
- I'm really happy, this is the best day of my life!
- So it is for me!
We hesitated too much, we waited too much time before having what we had that night.
You were still wearing your wonderful white wedding dress, which I'll never forget. Taking it off you and leaving you in underwear and bridal veil had been really wonderful. You were wonderful too, and seriously all mine for the first time. I put off my frac too and you unbuttoned my shirt and started kissing me, while playing with my papillon.
Remember? After a few seconds we were on the bed, I was over you, without neither my short nor belt on anymore, and you were smiling at me without nothing on too, framed by your magnificent bridal veil and some pink curl.
We were so happy…
I took your hand and held it, just in the way I'm holding the mattress now, I felt your warm fingers holding it back, they were excited. I stroked your face and made you mine.
I remember that I hurt you, you were still pure… just like me.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, when you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears, and I've held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me.
All…

I couldn't stand it anymore, I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone; but I know, I felt it, that though you were still with me, that you called me…
And I'm arriving, under the rain, I'm running barefoot and in pyjamas for you, on the rough and muddy ground.
Here you are I can finally see you, you're right there…
"Wanda, 8000 B.C. – 2000 A.D."
- That's not true, she's still here…
But I trip up just in front of that overbearing grave, I fall in the mud…
"Wanda, 8000 B.C. – 2000 A.D."
And here it is finally coming, I can feel it breaking and making its way through me, just like a breaking egg: it's my hope that I can still tell you the words which I keep into me since two long days.
And the desperation felt in these same days breaks away with it too, and I finally realize, hurting:
I've been alone all along.
I'm not gonna have one last chance to see you, to touch you, to kiss you…
And meanwhile a loud scream gets out of my throat. I'm all fours over you one last time, on the wet grass which covers you, and the weather cries with me, mourns you with me…
But what is this unexpected and soft warmth on my face?
A warm hand wipes away all of my tears…
A warm finger settles on my lips and stops me from screaming…
The same warm hand takes my cold one and holds it; and I know that it's not imagination…
I raise my glance: you are there, shiny and transparent, like an angel, smiling at me.
I look at you, I'm lost in your smile… and I notice a tear furrowing your face, transparent and silent. What are you doing? Crying and smiling?
- Wanda… - I whisper sobbing. You nod to me, happy and sad at the same time. I must tell you now, there's not going to be one more time…
- I'm sorry Wanda! I… I-I forgot about the False Anger! I love you and I always will!
You nod again, you smile and cry, you're so beautiful, like you never have been. And understanding that it would have been just the last time you hold me softly and burst into tears on my shoulder. I lean my forehead on your shoulder, hugged by paradise…
We remember together the first time we met in that bar; our friendship; my lazy love declaration; our first kiss; our wedding; our first time… so pleasant memories, but also so hurtful.
We'll meet again, one day… and till that day I will at least be sure of your forgiveness…
And in this moment, while you're going away forever, while you're holding me for one last time, I really understand that you still have all of me…

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