If your wondering why I took so long...
I decided to just pretend this story didn't exist. But then I got a review that really inspired me to finish it. I realize it's stupid to not finish this story when all it needs is one more chapter. So read slowly because this is the FINAL chapter!
And I have returned the rating to T because I thought M was a bit of an over reaction. If you think it should stay M, let me know and I'll change it back!
Snowflakes settled lightly on my body, which was standing immobile not a mile from the boundary line of La Push. My hands shook, and though I couldn't fathom why, I could not hold them steady. So many things were beyond my ability.
"Agh," I growled through my clenched teeth. My jaw trembled with the effort of containing my tortured cry of anguish.
I moved one of my lead feet, so to speak forward, sluggishly. A very small voice, so foreign I was unsure that it belonged to me, squeaked through my feverish thoughts, "Do you really want to do this?"
All I want is punishment for existing, or her. I decided resolutely.
I raced toward the only desires I could process. My thoughts, clouded by misery, had been reduced to simpler thoughts. It took so much to process anything beyond the unbearable, relentless pain. My personal demons had besieged my mind. They had stalked my like prey, giving me heaven's hand so they could laugh as she sang with the angels while I was cursed to live forever. They had stolen my sanity and replaced it with Hell.
I sniffed the air picking out the stench that was Jacob Black. He wasn't far. He was quite close actually. He already knew I was here for sure.
I only stood in the trees, waiting for him.
My predator instincts pricked as they realized there was now a hunt. Perhaps if I had had been more coherent, my survival instincts would have shut them up.
He was behind me. I could smell it.
"Jacob." I spat, turning to face his human face. It was silent as I smiled serpentinely at him. He glared at me mistrustfully, "What do you want?"
"I killed her, Jacob Black." I grinned.
I couldn't say what the emotions that played out on his face were, I was too far gone for that, but I could say that that one sentence made him violently shudder.
"You lie." He forced out.
"No. I killed her. She is dead at my hands." My face grew beaten and derangement pooled in my eyes.
He made a grunt in effort and closed his eyes.
"I murdered Bella." I scraped out. And it wasn't untrue. I put her in danger so it was my responsibility to protect her. From anything. It was my fault. I might as well have killed her myself. I saw no difference. Self loathing saturated me. I should be writhing in torture for eternity. I felt sick to my stomach just because I was the hideous creature called Edward Cullen.
I was so permeated by my own pain, that Jacobs attack were no more hurtful than every second I just...was. The pain he inflicted and the pain that was already there blended seamlessly.
All I had to do now was wait. I could not understand everything that happened through my jaded consciousness. I received small snippets that meant nothing to me because I could not understand what they meant.
The last thing I understood was Alice's scream. It resonated in my head. It was only a thought. A rough and broken cry, Edward! Please!
Too late, I thought to myself.
"Mm..." I whimpered as I sunk into the nearest chair. I sobbed tearlessly; my body shook.
"Alice?" I wasn't sure who it was who said my name.
"H-he, I-I mean...Edward..." I curled my knees up to my chest and dug my fingers into my shins. "Oh," cried. A hand gripped my shoulder, "What Alice!"
They thought we needed to hurry...
"We're too late." I choked out horsely, "Edward is..."
"No," Esme stepped in front of me, she knelt to my eye level, "No, no, no. Don't scare us like this Alice, what's going on." She demanded desperatly.
"He's dead Esme." I barely whimpered into my knees.
"No. He promised..." she chattered in horror.
"It wasn't Italy." I told her miserably. Why would he to this to us? To her? I thought, looked at Esme's devastated face. Tears or no tears, no mother's face could ever look more heartbroken.
"He provoked Jacob," I continued, knowing that even though it felt like it would ruin me to say, it would never get easier. "He told him he killed Bella..." I sobbed. "I think he truly believed it...How could he think that?" Edward...
"Agh!" Rosalie screamed crushing the corner of the coffee table she was gripping. "This is all your fault!" She spat to Carlisle, "Why did you let him go off by himself? I knew it was stupid!" She screamed in a voice thick with emotion.
No one spoke. No one disagreed. Carlisle looked horrible.
Emmett stood beside Rosalie, stunned and frozen in denial.
Poor Jasper struggled with all the desolation and grief in the room.
I thought of him. No more silent conversations. No more of his music. No more worrying about when we think what. No more of his never ending rambles about Bella.
What would I do without her? My sister.
Despite Edward's insistence that God would never listen to a prayer muttered by a vampire, I prayed. I prayed Edward was wrong. I prayed they were happy.
I prayed they were together.
And now, every single one of my readers probably hates me. It's okay, I'd hate me too. But in my defense, it is under the tragedy genre...Go ahead, and send me flames, I'll understand. And one last thing,
I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Blonde-and-Volatile, who made me realize what an idiot I was! Thank you!