Girl Days

A Ranma 1/2 fanfic by Robert Haynie

(insert usual tired and practically universally memorized
disclaimer here)

Part One: You Want Me To WHAT?!?

Ranma Saotome scowled as she walked down the streets of Nerima.
"Someday," she snarled, "I'm gonna find out HOW that
ladle-lapping old coot always hit's me. She NEVER misses. It's
like some wet version of the tomboy's hammer..."

As she entered the courtyard of the Tendo Dojo, she failed to
notice the person standing in the house's doorway. Ranma stopped
just in time to keep from bumping to her--


Holding a few packages that somehow Ranma instinctively KNEW she
wasn't going to like.

Nodoka looked at her damp and -- at the moment -- female son and
sighed. "What was it today, dear? A truck? Someone watering
their lawn? That ditch again?"

"Naw, the ladle lady. Is there some water-based martial art I
ain't heard of? Because she NEVER misses, you know... well,
almost never, I guess..."

"Actually, Ranma, I'm rather glad that you're in your... feminine
state at the moment. I've been thinking about how your curse
affects your life, and I have a plan to make it less disruptive.
Please follow me..."


Akane Tendo stormed into the dojo in a state of high aggravation.
This was nothing new for her, of course, but for once that anger
wasn't directed towards Ranma. Rather, it was directed at
practically every OTHER male on the planet.

Kuno had begun the party by once again protesting his love for
her (and, of course, the Pig-Tailed Goddess) and suggesting that
the THREE of them go on a romantic date. Kuno became rather
familiar with a high-flying sparrow due to that.

Then Mousse had glomped her, screaming, "Shampoo, my love, come
run away with me and... hey, Shampoo? When did your chest
shrink?" (Mousse had just come from his last glomp with the
aforementioned amazon and was still slightly concussed, else he
probably wouldn't have said something THAT stupid.) The Chinese
Master of Hidden Weapons followed Kuno into avation history.

Then TSUBASA, of all people, had propositioned her. Now, Akane
couldn't know that this was part of a cunning, detailed, and-- of
course-- hopeless plan to make Ukyo jealous, and that he had no
real intent of any relationship, but since he'd done it the same
way that he would have to Ukyo, he too gained an all-expense paid
trip via Air Akane.

Which suggests that in retrospect it was a BAD day for Gosunkugi
to actually generate a bit of a spine and ask Akane out on a
date. As he flew through the air, he murmured dreamily, "She
TOUCHED me..."

What she wanted right now was Ranma to say something-- ANYTHING--
stupid-- so she could have a nice, satisfying, cathartic fight.

What she GOT when she entered the house was the shock of her


"You want me to do WHAT?"

"Ranma," Nodoka sighed, "It's really the only thing I can think
of. I have no doubts about your manliness anymore-- but I'm
seriously concerned about your femininity."

Ranma stared at her mother as though she had finally gone
completely insane. Which, to be accurate, was pretty much the
idea flowing through her mind. "But... I'm a guy. I ain't GOT
no femininity! Mom, this is crazier than even any of POP'S
schemes! Well, with the exception of the Neko-ken, maybe... and
those multiple fiancees... and Jusenkyo... All right, it's not
crazier, but it's still crazy!"

"Ranma, I have been thinking about this for quite a while. And I
have come to the conclusion that you are both my son AND my
daughter. Now, I don't expect you to be a lady... I'm resigned
to the fact that you're going to be something of a tomboy. But I
DO think you need to learn how to be comfortable with your female
half, and this is the best way I can think of."

Ranma's mind was following a frightening path. What bothered
herself about her present form was that she DID feel slightly
different when a girl... and was terrified that that might
increase.... that she'd be wearing lacy dresses and flirting with
boys and wanting to... to... THAT thought was so hideous that it
immediately crawled into the deepest recesses of her mind and
shot itself. Repeatedly.

"Ranma, are you afraid you will actually become a girl?"

She jerked upright, in shock. When had Mom become a tele, um,
telly.... a mind reader?

Nodoka sighed. "I thought so. I don't believe that's the
case... but it's only natural that you'd feel somewhat different
when female. If it makes you any happier, there's one thing
about my proposed plan that you may approve of."

"Yeah? And what the heck could THAT POSSIBLY be?"

"Your father will hate it."

Ranma had always had a problem saying no to her mother, even when
she hadn't known she was really he. And the prospect of
irritating Pops while having the blessing of her mother was just
WAY too good to give up...

"By the way, Ranma, which technique IS the Neko-ken?"

"Um... nothing, really, just one of Pop's ideas that didn't

She might want her father annoyed as hell, but not-- at the
moment-- dead, after all.


Which explains why Akane Tendo was staring at the totally bizarre
sight of Ranma and his mother sharing a cup of tea. Well, that
wasn't the bizarre part.

The bizarre part was that Ranma was in girl mode, and wearing a
white skirt, blue blouse, stockings-- my GOD, she could tell from
the lines that she was even wearing a bra and panties-- and had
changed her hair from the usual pigtail to a loose ponytail tied
with a blue bow. And as far as she could tell, earrings.

"They pinch, Mom."

"I know, Ranma-chan, but piercing's not really an option for you.
Now, we have to discuss makeup, next lesson. And we'll have to
do some shopping, really... not only because your wardrobe is
rather limited but even after the main training you'll have to do
maintenance. I only bought enough with me for a few days, after
all. If it helps, dear, think of it as exercise."

"Makeup. Bleah. ANYTHING'S better than that. Even this bra."

"You'll get used to it. Remember, Ranma--"

"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?" screamed a totally confused

Ranma looked up, with an unusual expression. "Mom's helping me
to understand my femininity with masculine determination."

Akane facefaulted.

"That's a very interesting way to put it, Ranma. And I think for
now the best way for you to look on it. Well, I'm going to
inform Genma of my intent. He should be... intrigued."

Nodoka went into the training room where she had banished her
husband while she discussed things with Ranma, and a few moments
later the two girls heard the inevitable argument-- beginning
with Genma's scream of "You want him to do WHAT???"

"Ranma, what's really going ON here?!?" demanded Akane,
suspecting that this was all some complex plot to make her look
like a fool.

"Exactly what I said. Mom's got it into her head that I'm both a
guy AND a girl and that I need training on the girl part. I'm
supposed to stay a girl for two whole months of my own free will
and then at least one day out of every four after that as
'maintenance'. Dresses and the whole nine yards. My life is

"Well... after she leaves you can change back, and--"

"I can't. I promised her I'd try. I won't break a promise to
Mom. I won't hurt her ever again," retorted Ranma in a suddenly
fierce voice.

Akane drew back. She knew that look-- the same look that Ranma
would have before a critical battle, or when determined to learn
or develop a new technique. And that meant that Kami-sama
himself couldn't talk him out of it. Her out of it. Whatever.

"OK... if you promised your mother. But why two whole months?"

"Mom said it was something about biology. I dunno what she
means, but-- Akane, why are you LAUGHING like that?"


end part one