Disclaimer: Don't own.
I swear. I did not. Copy. Okay? Okay. There are millions of high school fics out there, but if you seriously think I plaguerized, feel free to PM me or leave a review with the 'evidence', and I'll take this off, ASAP. Thanks! Oh yeah, this replaced 'Simple Arithmetic'. It fits the request, a high school fic!
There are 11 fundamental things you should never do in life. They include going bikini shopping, slapping a guy, kick yourself in the area to get out of something, and fall in love with your best friend. Too bad Neji already did all of that.
11 Fundamental Rules of Life
Chapter 1- Rule Number One
Hinata sighed as she glared lightly at the sleeping figure, a brown of black hair the only thing visible under the covers.
The indigo-haired girl frowned as she pulled out a walkie-talkie, "Hana, come in."
"Hana here, watcha need Hina?"
"Niisan won't get up."
"Leave it up to me!" Hanabi said cheerfully, "Over and out!"
Hinata smiled wickedly at Neji as she left the room quietly.
Neji was relieved she had left.
Unfortunately, he didn't hear Hinata's conversation with Hanabi.
Neji mentally sighed contently as he returned into the warmth of his bed. Hyuuga Neji never sighed happily out loud, of course, never… oh God, the bed was… so… damn… soft…. And… wa….rm…
"NEJI-NIISAN, GET THE HELL UP NOW, IT'S THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!" Hanabi screamed jumping on the bed and yanking the covers off, revealing a startled Hyuuga.
"GET THE HELL OFF OF MY BED HANABI!"
"YOU'RE UP!" Hanabi grinned widely, "MY WORK HERE IS DUH-ON! SEE YA LATER NEJI-NIISAN, BUT DON'T BE LATE FOR YOUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!"
Neji groaned as he literally fell back down into the softness.
Neji's lavender eyes snapped open and gazed over to the calendar.
First day of school.
This is bad.
Oh yeah. This was bad.
Let's get some background information, shall we?
Hyuuga Neji, heartthrob of school. Rival of Uchiha Sasuke, mobbed by fangirls, pissed off by fangirls, straight A student, honor student. Best friend is Tenten ever since they were 11, about 7 years ago. Believes there are 11 fundamental rules of what no to do in life. What are they? You'll find out.
Neji hissed a string of swears as he literally hopped, literally, of course, down the stairs, and grabbed the piece of toast that had just popped out of the toaster.
Hanabi opened the door and blinked, "Who are you?"
Tenten stared at her, "I should ask you that."
Tenten blinked innocently, "Is Neji there?"
Hanabi closed her eyes and tapped her chin thoughtfully, "YOU'RE…"
Tenten sighed, "Tenten."
"SHUSH, I'M STILL THINKING!"
Tenten raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest as she gave Hanabi her best 'what the hell' look.
"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S NEJI'S BEST FRIEND!"
"Yep, that's me."
Hanabi grinned and turned around, "YO NEJI, YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS HERE!"
Tenten flushed deeply, "I'M NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!"
Hanabi put one hand on her hip and waved the other nonchalantly, "Now now, don't fret, about time Neji got a girl anyway…"
"I'M NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND!"
"Hanabi, we're only friends," Neji said monotonously as he came into the scene, completely calm and cool, pretending that the hectic morning had never happened.
Hanabi shrugged, "Whatever."
Neji gave Hanabi a glare before closing the door and heading towards the sidewalk, just cutting through the lawn instead of walking around it.
Tenten had asked him why he did that once.
He said he didn't give a crap about the lawn.
"Hi Neji!" Tenten said cheerfully as she managed to keep up with her best friend's long strides, her shoulder-bag moving around.
Neji glanced at her, "G'morning," he grumbled as he swung his backpack over one shoulder, and loosening his tie at the same time, "Stupid uniforms…"
Tenten glanced at Neji's uniform which was a white shirt with a navy tie and black pants, "But the uniform looks nice!" she said in the outfit's defense, as she glanced down at her own, which was a sailor-type top, the color a regular shade of blue, and a mid-thigh navy skirt. God she hated that skirt…
"I wish I could've gotten a knee-length one, but they were out…" Tenten sighed, "Stupid seniors, I say sophomores should get first picks. Anyway, aren't seniors supposed to be sluts?"
Neji smirked, "That's a nice way to put it."
Tenten pouted, "Well it's true!"
Neji's famous smirk that made fangirls faint turned into a genuine smile, the kind he only gave Tenten for, ahem, because she was his best friend nothing more nothing less, ahem, "We're here."
Tenten glanced at the building, "Yep, we're here. Third year in high school!"
"NEJI'S SMILING! NEJI'S SMILING! NEJI IS SMILING!" Naruto yelled out of nowhere, "OI, NEJI'S FANGIRLS, HE'S SMI—"
"NEJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WE MISSED YOU OVER BREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"
"Oh shit," Neji groaned as he ran his hand through his long hair which was down today, which only made the fangirls happier.
Tenten frowned. She never liked having her best friend mobbed by fangirls. It always gave her a jealous feeling in the pit of her stomach… yet she never knew why. Ah well.
"OI YOU FANGIRLS, BACK AWAY."
"HEY LOOK, THAT WHORE THAT HANGS AROUND MY, I MEAN OUR NEJI IS TALKING TO US!"
"I'M NOT A WHORE DAMMIT!" Tenten yelled furiously, "AT LEAST I DON'T STALK HIM!"
"WE SIMPLY LOVE HIM."
"YEAH, WELL HAVE FUN LOVING HIM IN AN ASYLUM!"
"OH, AND HE LIKES YOU BETTER?"
"WELL UM, NO DUH. AT LEAST HE DOESN'T ROLL HIS EYES AT ME WHENEVER I SQUEAL HIS NAME!"
Neji mentally sighed again and stepped between the million girls and Tenten, "Break it up."
"I'm only trying to get rid of the crazy lunatics once and for all," Tenten said, crossing her arms.
The mob of girls glared at Tenten before turning around on their heels and stomped off.
Tenten smiled victoriously, "Well, they're gone for 10 minutes!"
"Uzumaki…" Neji growled dangerously.
Naruto blinked, "Wha? I was just trying to help you get a jump on your romance life!"
Tenten sighed, "Naruto, you were never good at playing matchmaker. Hell, you don't even know who looks good with who!"
"Oh yeah? PROVE IT!"
Tenten stared at him with deadpan eyes, "You tried to put me with Chouji."
(A/N Sorry to anyone that likes TenChou, but I swear, I tried to think of the most random and un-possible pairing!)
Naruto beamed, "Yeah, you two look cute together!"
"NO THEY DON'T!"
Naruto whipped around at the source of the scream, "OHAYO SAKURA-CHA—ITAI, THAT WAS MY NOSE!"
"TENTEN AND CHOUJI DO NOT LOOK CUTE TOGETHER!"
"NEJI AND TENTEN DO!" Ino finished for the rosette.
Sakura grinned, "You read my mind."
"OH STOP STARING AT ME LIKE I'M CRAZY NEJI! THE TWO OF YOU DO!"
"YEAH!" Sakura added, "YOU'RE ALWAYS HANGING AROUND WITH HER!"
"BECAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS!" Tenten yelled back, trying to defend her pride.
Oh, poor Tenten. Trying to defend her and Neji against the two gossip queens of Konoha High. Good luck with that.
"YEAH RIGHT!" they chorused.
Tenten groaned and buried her face in her hands, "How did I become friends with the two of you…"
Sakura and Ino paused. They were hyperactive, but they were good friends, and knew when to stop teasing, "Aw, sorry Tenten! We'll stop it!"
Tenten glanced up and smiled, then cracked up when Sakura and Ino started to pester Neji.
"NEJINEJINEJINEJI, SO WHY ARE YOU AND TENTEN ALWAYS TOGETHER!"
Neji glared at them, "I have no interest in Tenten."
Tenten didn't understand why she felt her heart break when she heard that. Oh well, she'll just get a doctor's appointment later.
Sakura stared at him, "Ooooooh my Goddddddd!"
Neji raised an eyebrow, "Hm?"
Sakura gasped dramatically, "YOU'RE GAY AREN'T YOU!"
Tenten stared at Sakura with her hand moving back and forth across her throat quickly to signal instant death.
Ino stared at Sakura for her bravery.
Naruto stared at a nearby ramen shop.
Sasuke, who had suddenly appeared, snickered quietly.
That's when Tenten regained her senses.
"Oi, if Neji's gay, then Sasuke is too! I mean, Sasuke doesn't pay attention to any of his fangirls either," Tenten said loudly.
Sasuke glared at her.
The silence was interrupted by…
"OKAY YOU STUDENTS, OFF TO YOUR CLASSES, AND ABSOLUTELY NO WHINING ABOUT HOW BORING IT IS!" Anko yelled over the sudden rush of students.
Tenten continued to stare at Neji.
Of course he wasn't gay! He would've told her!
Tenten glanced at Neji across the room.
What if he was gay?
"Tenten! Pay attention!" Kurenai scolded.
"Huh? Oh, sorry Kurenai-sensei…"
Kurenai narrowed her red eyes and cleared her throat, "As I was saying, we will be studying first aid and life saving tech—"
"Does that include mouth to mouth?"
Kurenai sighed, "Yes, it includes mouth to mouth."
The class looked at each other and 'oooh's were heard.
"Oh stop with the immaturity. I supposed we'll start with mouth to mouth first," she sighed.
The class shut up.
Kurenai glanced at her list, "And you will have to do a mouth to mouth demonstration in front of the class. Tenten, why don't you go first?"
Tenten stared at her health teacher with a gobsmacked face.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN!
Tenten stood up slowly, smoothing her skirt down as she made her way to the front of the class, lying down on the table as instructed.
Kurenai looked around wickedly, "Now, who will be her Prince Charming?"
I hate health, I hate health, I hate health, I hate health, I hate health, I hate health, I hate health, I hate health, I hate health, I hate health, I hate health, I hate health, Tenten thought furiously.
Prince Charming my butt, she's gonna pick…
Tenten started gaping at Kurenai's back, resembling a fish. The class snickered as the watched Neji return his attention to the class, and get up.
NO DAMNIT, ANYONE BUT HIM!
Neji approached Tenten calmly, then standing behind the table, looking as cool and collected as ever.
"OhGodthisisbad…" Tenten muttered quickly.
"As you know, mouth to mouth, or as some students refer to is, the life kiss is performed by two people, as we have here."
Screw Kurenai, Neji thought as he glanced out the window.
"And one is un—Tenten, pretend to be unconscious with no breath?"
"Pretend to be unconscious with no breath."
Tenten sucked in a huge breath and closed her eyes, completely relaxing.
At least Neji was better than anyone else…
"And the other leans down…"
The class snickered.
Kurenai tapped the table with her pencil, "Neji, lean down."
Neji cringed invisibly and leaned down stiffly, his palms on the table.
The class started hooting at this point.
Kurenai smiled wickedly, "Then…"
Neji never realized how… peaceful and beautiful Tenten could look…
Damn his hormones.
Tenten let out a small 'eep'. She couldn't hold her breath for much longer…
And… when his lips were a mere millimeter away…
Tenten sat up suddenly and let out the breath she was holding, ignoring Neji who had his hand over his nose.
"Sorry… Ku… renai…sen…sei… I… couldn't…. hold my breath… any… long-"
"…Maybe you should take your Prince Charming to the nurse, Tenten?" Kurenai offered, returning to her sweet self.
"Well, you gave him a nosebleed…"
Tenten spun around quickly and caught site of Neji, who was now pinching his nose glaring at her lightly.
Tenten held back peals of laughter, unlike the rest of the class as she dragged the Hyuuga out of the classroom and towards the nurse's office.
Tenten sighed as her grip on his arm tightened, "All right Neji, please don't get mad. I can't stand it when you're mad!"
Neji sighed as he realized he just broke the first rule of life: Never almost give your best friend mouth to mouth.
"Well! Here we are! Nurse's office!" Tenten said as cheerfully as she could, dragging Neji inside.
"Um. No one's here…"
Tenten let go of Neji's arm as she started to look around for any sign of a fat, plump, short woman, while Neji, deciding to stop this blood, grabbed a bunch of tissues and sat down, now pinching his nose with the tissues. He raised an eyebrow as he watched Tenten, "Tenten…"
"…The nurse put up a sign she was going out for lunch…………"
Tenten sat down on the small bed next to Neji, "Am I forgiven yet?"
Neji gave a grunt and turned away. His pride had taken a serious fall, and now she was asking for forgiveness?
Tenten blinked and frowned, "I'll spread a rumor about myself so your pride won't be affected!"
"…" Neji glanced at her. What kind of a sane person would do that?
Tenten smiled, "It's settled then!"
"…You don't have to do that."
Tenten's face fell, "But if I don't do anything I'll feel guilty!"
Neji sighed, "I'll think of something…"
Tenten stared at him, "Y'know Neji…"
"…You might… want new tissues…"
Fundamental Rule Number One: Never almost give your best friend mouth to mouth.
Consequence: Pride fall and nosebleed
Author's Note: WELL! Er. Yeah. This was kinda rushed… so yeah, sorry about that! This is going to replace 'Simple Arithmetic', and I have all 11 chapters planned out! Prepare yourself for MAJOR OoC. I'm not sure when I'll update again… probably when I get a lot of reviews. I'm so greedy! Please review!