I'm bored. It's not enough that Rosalie has to buy so many clothes, but she has to go through them on Sunday so that she ca n make sure that they're organized by how hot they make her look. Personally, I think that Rosalie looks her best when…
Just then, Edward yelled from downstairs. "EMMETT!"
Apparently Edward had just seen a very graphic flashback I'd been thinking about. It was of Rosalie with a (in my opinion) delightful lack of clothing. However, Edward didn't seem to feel the same.
"Sorry, Edward!" I screamed back.
Rosalie turned and glared at me before turning back to her closet to organize her formal dresses for various dances.
A few seconds later, I got some sort of cape flung on my head. We shall now call this moment: "The Beginning of the End". As soon as I got untangled from that weird mass of black fabric, I was hit with what appeared to be a very shiny, crown like thing. Then, I had an idea.
All of a sudden, I felt an unnatural wind from behind me, and I looked around to find Emmett, my prom queen tiara, and a black cape of mine gone from the room. He was most likely up to something crazy again, I sighed. Then, I turned to organize my shoes.
A random shout came from the stairs. It sounded faintly like "Bwahahahahahaha". All of the people in the living room looked up from the movie they were watching except for Alice.
We were stuck watching The Devil Wears Prada because Alice had managed to convince Bella to watch it before I could steal her away. So, when Emmett burst into the room, I was glad for the distraction. Then, once I saw what he was wearing, I decided maybe the movie wasn't so bad after all.
I ran downstairs, fastening the cape around my shoulders and placing the tiara on my head. This was going to be very interesting. However, no one was in sight, so I followed the noise of the TV into the living room. Then, I burst in with a shout of, "I AM THE KING OF THE WORLD! AND WHOEVER STANDS UP FIRST WILL BE MY QUEEN!"
Edward stood up, holding an empty popcorn bowl, on the way to the kitchen to pop more for Bella.
"Ummm…..THE FIRST GIRL WHO STANDS WILL BE MY QUEEN!"
Then, Bella stood up to follow Edward. Edward snarled at me.
"Don't….you….dare." He threatened, growling low in his throat.
"Okay, next girl then!" I smiled brightly as Edward and Bella left the room. Just then, Esme hopped up, having decided that Bella needed cookies to go with her popcorn.
"FINE, ANY GIRL WHO'S NOT MY MOTHER! OR BELLA!" I screamed again.
Alice tore her eyes away from the movie for the first time to leap up and raise her hand.
"Pick me, pick me, PICK ME!" She yelled, jumping up and down despite Jasper's many attempts to pull her back into her seat.
"No." He growled.
Just then, Rosalie skipped down the stair and into the room.
"PERFECT!" I crowed, swooping Rosalie up into my arms.
I turned on Jasper.
"How could you? Think of all of the shoes I could have as queen of the world!" I shrieked.
"I'm sorry, love, but I won't let you be ruler of the world with Emmett." He responded calmly.
I started hitting him with a baseball bat I found near Emmett's school bag. "Why…..whack….the….whack…..heck…..whack, whack, whack….not?" I asked hit, emphasizing my words with a hit of the bat.
Next thing I knew, I was hitting the couch as Jasper came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, securing my arms to my side. I dropped the baseball bat limply.
"What I meant was I don't want you to be Emmett's queen." He whispered in my ear.
"Well, why not?" I asked, slightly mollified.
"because I don't want you to be anyone's queen but mine." He responded, leaning around me to kiss me on my cheek.
"Oh, I guess that's a good reason." I said, pouting a little bit. He is such a cheater even without the feeling control thing.
Meanwhile, Emmett had carried Rosalie upstairs to "take a nap"., fleeing from Alice's mild fury. After the fighting was over, Esme, Edward, and Bella came back in, having a heated discussion on whether or not the cookies were burnt. Edward insisted they were, even though they were golden brown and perfect. Now, Alice was curled up on Jasper's lap, watching the movie once more, after apologizing for hitting him with a bat. During all of this, Carslisle had never looked up from his medical textbook.
I have a tried and true method. When wacky and petty arguments break out in my family, I read medical textbooks….or Reader's Digest….or anything nearby. That way, I'm not pulled into a weird competition where you can break rules you don't even know exist. It's safer my way.