Title: Food Fetish
Author: A. Haverstock
Characters: Rabi/Lenalee, Kanda/Allen
Rating: PG
Warnings: n/a
Word Count: 868
Genre: Humour

Rabi/Lenalee (D.Gray-Man) for GoldenRod (868 words)

Prompt: Rabi/Lena, food

"I have a plan," Lenalee declares suddenly. "It involves food and will be both messy and effective."

Rabi looks up at her from his book, eyes brimming with curiosity because, frankly, books about ancient religious traditions are nowhere near as interesting as the mischievous spark in Lenalee's eyes and the words that tumble out of her mouth.

"Okay," he replies. "You've got my attention. Now you just have to tell me what this plan is about and what sort of food is going to be involved."

"There is some Unresolved Sexual Tension between the other half of our quartet," she explains. Rabi notices that Lenalee has picked up some of his speech patterns during the time they've spent together in recent weeks and doesn't know whether to be happy or horrified. "And don't tell me that you haven't noticed it."

"I haven't," Rabi admits. He cowers at her angry face and so continues, "I've noticed some Flames of Passion though." Passion being a relative term, he thinks.

This seems to satisfy her. "Well then," she begins. "Now all we have to do is ask Jerry for a coconut cream pie."

"Let's not forget the whipped cream and cherries," he adds.

The smile on Lenalee's face is so radiant that he finds himself blinded by the beauty of it and realizes, suddenly, that he's in love with Komui's sister.

He wonders how long he has left to live.



Allen turns to look at her and she's pleased to note that he stops almost directly in front of the stairwell. She's also pleased to note that he seems more interested in the pie she's holding than anything she might have to say.

"Yes, Lenalee?"

The look on his face is adorably confused and she almost feels bad for what she's about to do as she runs to catch up to him, "I've been looking for you! Jerry made us a pie and I wanted all of us to" -- she trips, purposefully, and lets the pie fly from her outstretched hands.

Allen watches in horror as it arches gracefully through the air. Lenalee squeals dramatically and is proud of herself for how real it sounds. Allen turns, on reflex, to catch it as it flies over his head.

He ends up tumbling down the stairs after the pie squealing much more dramatically than she ever could.


"We haven't hung out for a while," Rabi declares as per The Plan. "You're going to come on a walk with me."

He pulls Kanda away from his noodles before there is time for rejection and then shuffles him towards the staircase designated by Lenalee. They have to get the timing right, otherwise Kanda will kill him and Allen will probably end up in a coma,

They reach the bottom of the staircase just as Allen falls down it with a screech so loud it rings in his ears.

"Oi, Kanda!" Rabi says and pushes Kanda forward. "You'd better catch him!"

Kanda stumbles forward, unprepared for the shove, and sends him a glare that promises many painful things are going to happen to him in the near future. The red-head decides that it'll be worth the pain when a pie hits the swordsman flat in the face, followed by a traumatized teen.

Rabi looks up to the top of the stairwell where Lenalee is standing and grins. She smiles back and lifts the hem of her skirt enough for him to catch a glimpse of the smooth curve of her backside as she walks away. She's wearing lacy black panties that he's positive Komui doesn't know exist.

They both decide to abandon the final part of their plan because they'd much rather make-out themselves than watch their friends do it.

And besides -- they still have all that whipped cream left over, and it would be such a shame to waste it.


When Allen crashes into something that is most definitely not a cold stone floor he risks opening his eyes and promptly decides that he would have rathered the floor because floors aren't armed with sharp, pointy swords. They also don't have death wishes out for him, so far as he knows.

"Get the hell off of me, Bean Sprout," scowls Kanda.

Allen sits up so quick that his head spins, "You say that as though I actually want to stay here, bastard."

"Get. Off. Of. Me."

"Fine," he replies bitterly and shifts himself so he can stand up. Kanda groans suddenly at the contact and Allen looks up, only to giggle insanely at the sight of the raven-haired boy with coconut cream pie dripping down his face. He leans forward, wipes some of it off with his hand and then licks it off his fingers

By the time Allen realizes what he's doing and just where, exactly, he's doing it, Kanda has already crushed their lips together in a way that makes him forget about the tragic demise of his pie and focus more on trying to breathe.

Once Allen figures out where his nose is supposed to go he decides that he really might like this whole 'inappropriate touching' thing that Lenalee seems to be so fond of.