Chapter 47: Sara
I'm in love.
That's what was scaring me so much. Well, it still does.
Love…it's an indefinable feeling. There's no real rhyme or reason behind it. People try to make sense of it, try to rationalize it, because they don't feel comfortable when they don't understand something. I tried to do that too, but I was wrong, because when it comes to something like love, it's extremely difficult to rationalize the 'why' behind it, and that's what make it so scary.
I'm in love. At first I panicked and then I tried to rationalize it. But I can't because love is just that, love. Love is scary as hell, it's overwhelming and so much bigger than the people who feel it. It's not something you can control, not even remotely. It's impossible to rationalize something like love, it's like a flung into a sea of irrational thought. There are a thousand reasons to lust after a friend or someone we know. There's just no logical reason for falling in love with someone.
Love is like…it's not a tree that comes from the roots of friendship or lust…it's the tornado that surrounds the tree, picks it up and fuses it with another tree. A trip like that is bound to leave someone incoherent and dizzy, especially since the tornado kind of stick around forever.
So yeah, love is scary and indefinable. It's really terrifying and it takes a lot of courage to leap in head first and act on it.
I overcome my fear of being hurt and completely crushed by this love, because there's no use to have such a feeling and keep it for myself. I want to share it with Cath and I want to try. And even if it doesn't work – though I hope with all I am that it will work, then I'll never regret this choice.
I came to Cath's last night and I poured myself out in an irrational and illogical kind of way, but I'm in love so I have the right to be like that – crazy, irrational and illogical. I told her I loved her, I love her. Then I loved her, on her corridor floor because we couldn't make it to the bedroom.
The connection we made after was…wow…I'm still all shaken by it, and I know this with a blinding clarity, I don't want to ever lose this feeling, this connection.
We made it to the bedroom afterward, and we made love through the night. Now she's sleeping soundly but I just can't close my eyes and stop the amazement coursing my veins. I'm in love with her and she's in love with me.
I know I'll do everything to make this work and never let this love go.
I kiss Cath's shoulder blade twice and pull her to me so I spoon her even more tightly than before, I'm a bit afraid to close my eyes and realize that this was just a dream, afraid to break the spell.
I'm in love.
I'm in love.
I sigh and open my eyes, waking up from a nap. I smile at the vision greeting me, my lover, Catherine still sleeping.
Six months together and I'm still amazed when I see her in my arms every morning I wake up, I'm grateful for that too. I had foreseen it, it's not easy, we have both strong personalities, it's complicated and everyday feels like a struggle but it's a good one, one that is worth every and any sacrifice. We manage to balance everything, and I have to admit that Nancy being her sister, it was easy once everyone agreed to work together.
To make it short my life is perfect with imperfections. And I like it like that.
I lean in and kiss Cath's neck, she stirs in a sigh, after the third kiss her eyes flutter open. She smiles sleepily at me and I kiss her lips tenderly. "Hey there."
If Cath is a big sleeper she's pretty quick to get her wit together, and I'll never get used to that. Before I know it she's straddling me and kissing me passionately. "Hey yourself," she winks.
She bites her bottom lips with a smile. "I slept like a baby," she states.
"You snored like one too," I reply with a chuckle. She grabs my hips and tickles me in response. I squirm and giggle, trying to escape her grip in vain.
She only stops when I'm red enough to her taste. Our laughers subside and she kisses me. She teases my lips at first but it's not long before desire takes over us. My hands find their way to her skin but she grabs them and put them above my head. I comply but I need to touch her to I bring my head to her face as she's working on the button of my shirt, caressing the skin, driving me slowly insane.
Kissing her makes me stupid and light-headed. I register the sound of something sliding against the fabric of my jeans, or the fact that Cath is pushing my hands away again, but it's too late by the time I realized that she has tied my hands with my own belt.
"Cath? Babe, what are you…" I don't finish my sentence as my breath hitch when she dips her tongue in my navel. "Oh god…"
She rakes her nail lightly along my ribs on my already oversensitive flesh making me writhe in pleasure. Her tongue makes a line from my bellybutton to my chest before circling one of my nipples. A deep moan bubble up from my throat as she slowly closes her lips on the bud before biting it.
She takes her sweet time to mark my body with her teeth and nail, turning me into a pile of mush, unable to articulate any coherent word. She teases all my weak spots and explores every inches of my body, it's not long before I shake for release. I'm writing in vain dying to touch her yet my hands being tied hinder me to do it.
She makes her way southward with kisses, nipping, sucking and nibbling. I cry out when her tongue runs flat against my fold before focusing its attention on my most sensitive bud.
I can only moaning aloud getting lost in the sensation, when her tongue dive deeper in my core I'm afraid to pass out. I can feel my orgasm bubbling up like a fire ready to inflame my whole being. She feels me on the edge and stops her motion, earning and grown of impatience. I might protest more eloquently if I didn't have to focus on breathing and on keeping my heart in my ribcage. She kisses my sex; my stomach, my chest, passes her head between my linked hands and hovers only a millimetre above my lips. I open my eyes a look at her silently begging her to let me fall over the edge. She runs the tip of her tongue on my lips first but pulls back when she sees me moving to kiss her. I lick my own taste on my flesh and she smiles at me.
Her lips connect with mine as she pushes her fingers in my core, making my hold her tightly and moan in her mouth. My heartbeat skyrockets and it's not long before my whole body shakes violently, waves of a powerful orgasm washing through me, taking my breath away.
She kisses me deeply and lovingly, slowly bringing me back on earth. I close my legs on her hand not wanting to break the contact yet, she buries her face in my neck raining kisses over it until I finally let her hand go. We stay silently there, holding one another tight, enjoying the closeness and the aftermath of our embrace.
As much as I would have wished for her to stay in bed all the afternoon we eventually get up and have a shower together. We decided to have a little party this evening with family and friends and I'm not sure that we can greet them being naked.
"I think everything's ready," I nuzzle in her neck before nibbling her flesh.
She hums in appreciation "Beware babe, I'm one hairbreadth away from taking you back in the bedroom and having my way with you again.
"Aren't we cocky now," I tease her.
"Oh but I have…" she gasps feeling my hand cupping her through her pants. "Babe," she squeaks.
I start stroking her and she grips the countertop so hard her knuckles turn white. I start to suck on her neck and slip one hand under her top to tease her breasts.
"Oh god…" she breathes out moving with my hand.
I apply more and more pressure on her core and in spite of her the layers of clothes I can feel her wetness. She starts to shake and her legs seem to be willing to let her down. I sink my teeth in her shoulder and stroke her hard as I feel her close she bends a bit forward riding my hand, and starts to convulse involuntarily when she comes.
I tighten my grip on her feeling her legs turning into cotton. I feel her erratic pulse under my lips as I kiss her neck again.
"God…what you're doing to me…" She mutters.
"I'll have you know that I don't need no bedroom to have my way with you," I say with blatant cockiness and she chuckles.
"Oh I'll make you pay for this one," she pants.
She turns her head to me and we kiss languorously.
"I so need to change my pants," she giggles.
"And panties," I add.
"Who said I was wearing any?" she winks seductively at me before walking away and I can only gasp at the thought.
I look at my watch. We have 40 min before everyone start to arrive…plenty of time, I smile to myself before following Cath in the bathroom.
The evening is perfect. Everybody is enjoying themselves. The kids are running around with Greg, Warrick is beating Grissom and Brass at the video game – unbelievable but true, who would have thought that Griss and Brass were kids?
The other lab tech are joking around and Cath and I are making sure that no one is missing anything, stealing a kiss here and there when we can.
I take time to capture this moment and make memories.
I'm in love, I have a family that I love and who loves me back, what more could I possibly ask for?
I think about those last four years and I can only say that I have been blessed in so many ways. I look up and find Nancy's gaze she winks at me and I smile at her in response.
The last thing I can ask for, is for Nancy to be as lucky as me and find love again. I'm endlessly grateful to the force that brought us together, because when I think about it my life only truly started when I met her. I have a good feeling though, if the flirty glances her and Nick are exchanging are anything to go by, then I think that maybe lady luck might knock on Nancy's door soon.
I feel a pair of arms sneaking around my waist and I turn my head to kiss Cath before leaning against her.
"You were right," she says.
"Simple things are a drag. Thinking of all we've been through to be where we are now, only makes me feel luckier and happier than I already am," she elaborates. "It was worth it."
"Definitely," I reply before kissing her deeply as a silent 'I love you'.
If you ever have the chance to find love, grab it with both hands and hold onto it for dear life, don't let it go because all it brings, the pain and the happiness are worth it.
Love is worth it, as terrifying as it is, it is worth it.
Another long story done. Once more it has been an really enjoyable journey in your company, I hope you had as much fun as I did. I'd like to thank everyone who took interest in the story and read it, and everyone who ever left a review. I'm endlessly grateful for your support and interest. Thanks for putting up with me I know I have breen cruel sometimes - though it was all fun on my side ;)
I'd like to make a special thanks to: bene, bleed4her(now you better finish the job on your side miss ;) ), Dawny1(I know I drove you crazy more than once,but hey...I can't help it ;) ), chimp1984, Myx Nyx, OriginalAngelStyle, Titpom1, ry, Sutzina Zion, harrasedbytheFBI, chawkchic, I.love.you.miss., Marg Ryan, kaCSI, Fooly-Fool22,Casara,icklebitodd...and well to everyone who reviewed (the list is very long sorry for the names I forgot, I still love you guys)
A very special thanks to:
Max, you helped me more than you think and I'm really grateful for everything ;)
Last but certainly not least:
scuby, I owe you this story because you're actually the one who suggested the plot to me in one of your review on my first fic, even though it was just a random remark then, but I made it and if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have gone that far. By the way, I told you I wouldn't hit the 50 chap, and I didn't so I won! Thanks for helping me with my english, thanks for writing with me on our other project, just thank you to stick around, fighting with me and putting up with me ;).
Immi, well, I told you already I love that mind of yours it's fusing in all direction with ideas, your point of view made the difference more than once and you help me through this even if you don't realize it.
That's it folks, I shall be back soon after a little break ( a very tiny one). Again thank you very very much, I love you guys.
Thanks for reading.