Longing

By Archangel

RAW – December 29, 2003 – San Antonio, TX

"You ditched me for a girl!"

"Christian, I would never ditch you for a girl."

"But you did," Christian growled and stepped up to him. "You ditched me… for a girl."

Jericho blinked at those last three words and how venomously Christian said. He had nearly hissed. Then Christian was stomping away from him in a hurry, not looking where he was going. It looked like he was wiping at his eyes. Jericho arched a brow and started after him, calling his name. Things had gone so wrong for him lately. He had lost a girl he could've loved and his best friend all in one foul swoop. No thanks to Eric Bischoff.

"Christian! Please, wait!"

"Go fuck yourself, Jericho," he snapped over his shoulder.

"No, Christian, please." He grabbed his shoulder and yanked him around. "Don't do this to me. You're all I have anymore. You're the only friend I've got."

"Correction. I was the only friend you had. Now let me go."

"Christian!"

Again he pulled away from him and turned to go. Jericho practically tackled him from behind, wrapping his arms around him and pressing to his back. Christian could feel something cold and wet run down his skin. Was he crying? He looked over his shoulder and down as best he could, but could barely see Jericho in this position. He tried to turn around, but he was held tight.

"Please, don't leave me," Jericho whimpered.

"Jericho, let me go. I won't walk away again," he said softly. He was allowed to turn around then and he looked down at the tear stained face of his friend curiously. "Why are you so upset? Tell me what's going on."

"Everything's gone to total shit for me. You know that. I don't have anyone! I don't have friends, family, a girlfriend or anything! I can't stand it anymore. All I ever hear is, oh poor Christian. He's so lonely without Edge. Or poor Lita for getting dumped. Or even poor Trish who's never had anyone be serious for her. Well, did anyone ever stop to think poor Jericho who doesn't have anyone in this whole fucking world!"

Christian pulled Jericho into his arms to silence him, looking around to see who else was seeing and hearing this. There were quite a few people around. The last thing Jericho needed was people seeing him breakdown like this. He pulled him along down the hall and ducked into the first dressing room that he came to. It belonged to Shawn Michaels, but he was busy elsewhere and probably wouldn't mind as long as he got an explanation later. Jericho was practically limp against his chest as he leaned back against the door, holding the sobbing man in his arms. He'd never seen Jericho go so far as to cry over something going on between him and other wrestlers. He could get depressed or enraged, but never like this. But Christian knew the main reason he was so sad was because of Trish. He'd fallen for her on accident. It made him so jealous to see them together and happy, but at the same time he felt sorry for Jericho suffering through their "break up."

"Jericho, I hate to sound corny, but there are other girls out there. And it's not like you're some old codger who's running out of time or anything. I mean, Trish obviously can't take a joke, she's way too much of a prude for you, and—"

"I don't care about that anymore," he mumbled in between sobs.

"What? But I thought that you liked her?"

"I do, but I ruined that already. I've already lost her and there's no turning back." He raised his head and looked straight into his eyes. "But if I lost you, too, I would die. I can't stand that thought. You're my best friend."

"Jericho," he whispered and petted his cheek. "I'm so sorry. I never knew how you felt. I thought that you didn't care."

"Didn't care?" he exclaimed. "You think I tagged with you all the time for no reason? You think I would hug onto you and hold you just because I was tired or something? Dear god, Christian, I would do anything for you. I lo…"

Jericho trailed off, his eyes widened slightly at what he had nearly said. Christian had an equally surprised look on his face. Jericho backed away from him, his hand covering his mouth as he sat down hard on the bench behind him. Christian watched him looking so completely confused. He waited for what would come next. He knew it would have to be a decision that Jericho made on his own. Any influence on his part wouldn't be fair. He had been hoping for something like this. He had been longing to hear those words pass Jericho's lips. He'd loved him from the very beginning. Christian had hoped that being his partner and spending so much time with him would help develop something between them. Maybe it had, but Jericho looked terrified of his own feelings at the moment. So Christian stood there against the door, his chest streaked with Jericho's tears, and waited to see if he would be loved or not.

"Oh my god… Did you hear what I almost said?" he finally muttered.

"Yes. You were gonna say you lo—"

"Shh! Don't say it. Just wait a minute." Jericho was obviously deep in thought, his mind probably weighing the consequences of saying it aloud. "I can't believe it. I can't believe this is happening."

"Jericho, don't be afraid," Christian whispered.

"I'm not afraid. I'm shocked. I've never done this before." He looked up at Christian with worried and confused eyes. "I've never done anything like this. I've never been attracted to men. Why the hell would I fall for you?"

Christian frowned, his signature pout making itself known. That wasn't exactly the most wonderful thing that had ever been said to him. In fact it sounded more like an insult than a question.

"I dunno, Jericho," he said, still his voice just a whisper.

That's when he noticed Jericho looking at him funny. "You're gay. I know you are."

"Yeah? Then why did you make that bet with me?"

"I knew I'd win! Forget that for now." Jericho got back to his feet and approached him. "You're gay, right?"

"Yeah. You said yourself that you know that." He felt a blush creeping into his cheeks.

"You and Edge…?" Christian nodded. "Are you still with him?"

"No. No, that ended when I attacked him. Biggest mistake of my entire life."

"Hmm… Christian, did you mean it when you said you weren't my friend anymore?"

"Not really." He finally raised his head to look at him. "I just thought that it would be best because of what happened. I didn't want to end up fighting all the time. I just would rather have ended it completely."

"Will you do me a favor?"

"I'll try."

"Kiss me." Christian blinked in surprise. "I need to know what the hell is going on in this mixed up head of mine. I think that'll make my decision for me."

"I don't see how—"

"Just do it will ya?" he snapped.

Christian curled his nose up at him, but did as instructed and gave him a quick and hard peck on the lips. Of course he got a dirty look for it. He knew why. Jericho hadn't meant a kiss like that. Before the highlight of the night could start his complaining Christian cupped his cheeks and pulled him in. This time their lips met perfectly, softly, gently. Christian pecked his lips a couple of times before daring to lightly touch the tip of his tongue to them. Jericho opened his mouth to him with slight hesitation, opening his eyes partway to look at him. Christian didn't see it, though, as he delved his tongue into the sweet mouth of the man he'd wanted for so long.

He'd dreamt of this moment. Literally. His dreams were always filled with Chris Jericho. He had visions of piercing blue eyes and bright blonde locks under a spotlight. Perfect pink lips would caress his own as strong hands touched his body, and even stronger arms embraced him. But this wasn't a dream anymore. This was real. He had Jericho in his arms, clinging to him like he was life. He could taste him, a sugary taste of soda mixed with the mint of toothpaste. He could hear the soft sounds coming from his throat and recognize it as his real voice. Jericho was his. There was no way it could be denied now. He finally pulled back from him, not daring to let go lest he try to flee. He looked down at Jericho's strange expression. He looked as if he hadn't expected all of that, and maybe even he was surprised that he had liked it. Christian smirked.

"Did I help make your decision?"

"I… I dunno." He put a hand to his forehead and breathed a sigh of relief. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"From a lot of time spent waiting, watching, and longing."

"What do you mean?"

"I became your partner because I wanted you more than anything else. What started as just desire became love as I got to know you better."

Jericho's eyes went wide and he arched back away from him, not able to pull out of Christian's grasp. "You love me?"

"And you love me, as you almost revealed a moment ago."

Jericho's cerulean eyes remained as wide and panicked as before, his head shaking back and forth in denial. He started to struggle against Christian's hold on him. Christian let him go, but refused to move away from the door. It was the only way out. Jericho glanced around momentarily. He realized his fate was pretty much sealed.

"No. No, this can't be right. I'm not gay."

"No, you're obviously bi. Denying yourself isn't gonna help you any. Believe me I tried that the majority of my teen years and all I ended up doing was screwing myself out of precious years I could've been loving Edge." He started towards Jericho, holding his arms out to him. "Don't put yourself through something like that. I lost Edge after only a short time. I could've been with him so much longer if only I'd accepted the way I felt for him because he had loved me from first glance."

"But… But what about what I just went through with Trish? And what about the tons of girls I've been with?"

"Jericho, it's okay to like a guy. It's called being bisexual." He sighed and took Jericho's hands in his own, loose enough so he could pull away, yet tight enough to show his caring. "You said that you don't have anyone. You're all alone in the world. I could put an end to that if you'll just let me. I love you so much, Chris Irvine."

Jericho startled a bit at the use of his legal name, the one that no one ever used for him anymore. He looked down at the hands that held his. Christian squeezed just slightly and drew a little closer to him. Jericho turned his chin up slowly. He was still so nervous and unsure of himself. Did he love Christian? Had it only been the passion of the moment when he'd nearly said it earlier? And that kiss… That searing kiss that had made his lips feel like they were on fire. Those powerful arms went tight around his waist again, pulling him in against the bare chest that felt so warm and comfortable. He heard himself sigh contently and fell against Christian's shoulder.

"You love me," he more stated than asked.

"Yes, I love you," Christian murmured near his ear.

"And you won't do me like Edge?" He felt Christian tense slightly at that.

"No. Never. I told you that was the biggest mistake of my life. I'll never do anything like that to someone I love ever again. There are much better ways of solving disputes."

"I warn you. I'm a Scorpio."

"What's that mean?"

"Astrology, remember? Scorpios are terribly moody, vicious, awful people a lot of the time."

"Oh yeah. Funny, I also remember something about them being deeply passionate, loyal, fiercely protective."

Jericho looked up at him with a bright smile. "You know astrology?"

He nodded with a smug smile. "Yeah, a little. I know all the important signs. Like mine, Edge's, and yours."

"You read up on me?"

"Yep. I wanted to know you better. I want to know everything about you, the good and the bad."

Jericho bit his lip lightly. "Slowly. Christian, we have to go slow. I haven't done anything like this with a guy before."

"I know. I know." He lightly kissed his forehead. "You lead and I shall follow. Keep me up to date, talk to me, and don't ever shut me out. That's all I ask aside from your love and loyalty."

"That goes double for you."

Christian nodded with a smile, showing he would do the same. Then he captured Jericho's lips again, this time getting a real response of equal enthusiasm. The two were so caught up in each other that they didn't hear the door open.

"What in the hell are you two doing in my room!"

They both jumped apart instantly, staring at the Showstopper himself. They had forgotten that the dressing room was his.

"Oh, uh… Hi Shawn," Jericho managed to mutter.

"Get out!"

"Yes sir!" they both responded and booked past him, allowing him to slam the door.

"Damn kids…" He shook his head and started to pull his ponytail out, but paused. "Wait a minute. That was Jericho and Christian. Ew! I have to disinfect everything now!"

The End

Legalities: Christian Cage is copyright of TNA Wrestling. Chris Jericho is copyrighted to himself. I claim no knowledge of each of the characters sexual preferences or lives. This is a story of fiction, none of these events are real. I received absolutely no profit from this story.