My heart is yours
My heart is yours
(Please don't go now, Please don't fade away)
My heart is yours
My heart is...
"God, this was the worst idea ever," Cristina muttered to herself as she shifted the mass of lace and chiffon pooling at her feet out of the way. "We never should have done a double wedding."
Two hours before the ceremony and I was agreeing wholeheartedly. It was bad enough when one of us freaked out about our commitment issues. At least then one of us was indisposed enough to talk the other one down from the balcony. Well, now both of us were experiencing the proverbial cold feet and we were too wrapped up in our own issues to console each other. Not to mention, we were both desperately trying to recover from the mind bending hangovers that currently plagued us. Izzie, who was pulling double duty and acting matron of honor for the both of us, managed to throw us the craziest bachelorette party, complete with toilet paper, edible underwear and more than enough tequila and vodka to go around.
At that moment, said matron of honor walked into the room with her garment bag draped over her arm and the biggest smile on her face. "Only two more hours you guys! Aren't you excited?"
"Loud," Cristina groaned. "Why did you let me drink so much vodka?"
"Oh come on Cristina!" Izzie exclaimed. Unfortunately for Izzie, I agreed with Cristina. I was itching for a scalpel so I could cut her throat open and rip out her vocal chords. "It's your wedding day! You should be happy!"
"I never got that memo," I muttered as I banged the back of my head on the wall I was sitting against. "I feel nauseas."
Izzie bit her lip, then brightened, as if she had just realized something. "Wait here. I'll be right back."
A half hour later, she came back with two tall glasses of the vilest looking greenish black liquid I had ever seen in my life. "Drink this. It works miracles for hangovers, trust me."
Cristina's nose wrinkled when she looked at the stuff. "What's in it?"
"Coffee, Red Bull, salt, and lemon juice."
Cristina and I shot each other very wary glances before accepting the glasses. On any other day, we wouldn't have gone within two feet of the stuff. Unfortunately, it was our wedding day, and we couldn't promise ourselves to our better halves with huge headaches and sunlight/sound issues.
An hour and a half after we chugged the toxic stuff down with pinched noses, we were waiting out the huge chapel doors, clad in our beautiful white wedding gowns with our hair up, our faces painted, and feet already aching in our four inch heels with butterflies in our stomach rather than throbbing temples.
I reached over with my free hand to grasp Cristina's cold fingers. "Cristina, I'm scared."
She squeezed my hand comfortingly. "So am I. But we can do this."
"Yes. If you can survive cancer and I can survive you having cancer, then we can get married. It's time for our happy endings, damn it."
I nodded emphatically. "You're right. This is our time."
Izzie wrapped her arms around our shoulders and squeezed us towards her. "The both of you will be fine. I promise."
Callie smiled. "Not to mention, you're both drop dead gorgeous."
We smiled tentatively at her. "Thank you."
After going through our vows once more, we heard the organ play the ominous wedding march from the other side of the chapel doors. I squeezed Cristina's hand one last time. "Now or never."
She squeezed back and nodded. "Now or never."
I surveyed the interior of the chapel while trying to quell the nervous butterflies that continued to beat their wings against the walls of my stomach. The chapel seated two hundred and every single pew was filled. Burke, Cristina, Meredith and I decided to forego the traditional bride's side, groom's side thing because we had so many mutual friends that it made the whole idea pointless. Instead, all the females in the room sat on the right side while all the men sat on the left. And each pew was decorated with a flower arrangement of white Easter lilies and some green stuff that I didn't know the name of with yards and yards of chiffon strung between each. Needless to say, the place looked great.
"Nervous?" George asked Burke and me. I have to admit, I was a little wary at first when Burke suggested that the boyish intern should act as our mutual best man, but I was grateful that he was. He took care of the both of us better than anyone else would have.
"A little," we both admitted.
"Don't worry," Karev, who was acting as the second groomsman said as he clapped my shoulder. "This isn't your first wedding, so no surprises, right?" Then he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "O'Malley and I have a pool going. I have twenty bucks that says Yang's gonna run. You want in?"
Under any other circumstance, I would have laughed. Instead, I shook my head and concentrated on alleviating the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach when he mentioned one of the brides running.
Then the wedding march began. I clasped my hands tightly in front of me to stop the trembling from becoming too apparent. The doors slowly opened and Callie slowly began the bridal procession. Izzie followed not soon after.
I held my breath as Cristina and Meredith came up to the doorway. Cristina looked beautiful in her own right, with her strapless white gown of lace and chiffon. But she was still nothing compared to my Meredith.
The bodice of Meredith's gown was a strapless, corseted top with sparkling beads sewn in. The skirt was made of white satin that gathered into some sort of knot in the front, giving a sort of layered, tiered effect. The hair that took four years to grow back was gathered up in an elegant up-do, and nestled in her honey colored locks was a delicate tiara encrusted with tiny diamonds.
The back of my throat closed up when she smiled at me. I smiled back as I felt my eyes glaze over with a layer of tears. I was finally marrying Meredith, my Meredith. After all the crap, all the drama, all the stuff we had to work through, we finally made it to this moment.
Words could not describe how I felt.
When the brides finally made it to the front of the chapel, the ceremony began. After some words from the priest and the rabbi, Cristina and Burke exchanged vows. Then it was Meredith's and my turn.
I took a deep breath before I began.
"They say that life is full of paths. Full of twists and turns that we never see coming. They say that life is full of crossroads, and the path we choose to take defines who we are as a person. Five years ago, I came to one of those crossroads. The path I chose led me to Seattle--to you.
"The night I met you changed my life. It was no coincidence that we met that night, in that bar, under those circumstances. Even if I didn't know that we would one day end up right here, in this chapel, telling each other that we love each other in front of two hundred people, I knew that you were special.
"Meredith, I don't believe in coincidences. I believe that everything that happens on the paths we take will eventually lead us to bigger, greater things. My decision led me to you, and you led me here. You led me to the greatest happiness, the greatest love that I have ever known. And from here on out, I want to walk with you. Whichever path you walk, I walk with you. Whatever choice you make, I make with you. Whatever twist and turn is thrown our way, we will make it together. I don't care what happens in the future, Meredith. As long as it's with you."
I watched the tears well up in Meredith's eyes. She lifted a delicate hand to wave them away and everyone in the chapel chuckled.
Then it was her turn.
"I am a great believer in second chances. No matter how many tests I've failed or friendships I managed to screw up, I fought hard for that second chance because I knew that I would do everything in my power to make everything right again. Our first shot at a relationship, as everyone here knows, didn't end well. It didn't end well at all. Then when the cancer came, it looked like it was the end. It looked like there would be no more chances, no time left for me to fix the mistakes I had made, to right the wrongs I committed.
"But then you gave me the greatest gift I have ever received, Derek. You gave me a second chance at life. You gave of yourself purely and wholly, just so that I might live. No one has ever done anything like that for me. No one. So I fought back for you. Knowing that you were on my side, knowing that there was still a chance that we could fix what we had broken, I fought like hell to stay alive. To put it simply, your love saved me. Your love gave me a second chance.
"And here we are. I can't promise that I won't screw up. I can't tell you that I'll be perfect. I know that I'll make mistakes down the road, in my life, and in our marriage. I know that things will be said and stuff will happen. But I know that we'll be okay. I know that we'll make it through because I know that you'll always give me that second chance to make things right, no matter how undeserving I am. I love you, Derek. I love you, and I fought like hell so I could stand here right now and tell you this. And no matter what, I will always love you. Always."
My throat constricted once more at her emphatic words. Meredith was no longer the shell of a person with abandonment issues. She was no longer the pitiful cancer patient with the purposely bald head. She was a survivor in every sense of the word. And she was mine.
The priest and the rabbi continued on with the ceremony. Then they announced, for the whole congregation to hear, "I now pronounce you, husband and wife, husband and wife. You may now kiss the brides."
Meredith grinned as she threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. I kissed back with everything I had.
Everything led back to her. Everything. And I was glad that it did.
A/N - So there it is. The last installation. I hope you enjoyed the ride. If some of you are curious as to what Meredith's wedding dress looks like (I based the descriptions off of an actual dress) the link to the picture is on my profile page.
I would like to say this right now: I will not be writing a sequel to this story. I just don't have the drive or the inspiration to write one. Not to mention, this story wasn't meant for a sequel. So please don't ask me to.
As always, please review! And make sure to check my writer's blog (listed as the homepage on my profile). Thanks for reading!