This involves guys who like guys, guys who make out with other guys, and angst. If you have an issue with this, find some other story and read that. SasuSaku maybe? You will find that far, far away from this webpage (unless it has twisted uses…one day you shall see the example, but not today).
Ooh…sequel to 'Road Trip'! If you have a problem with guys who end up with other guys, I implore of thee to leave so as not to taint your eyes. Also, if you haven't read Road Trip, go read it. If you have read Road Trip I recommend re-reading the last two chapters or so. And reviewing on it. Oh yes.
Significantly darker than Road Trip, so this got classified humor/angst.
She doesn't own Naruto...or Mazyr.
Inuzuka Kiba woke to the sound of pots and pans making a very loud and unkind noise. It was undoubtedly Temari making breakfast, considering it was Saturday. He had spent the night at the Sabaku residence due to a party that rendered him smashed. Nara Shikamaru was probably there too, finding Neji's lust for bacon too troublesome and giving in, forced to flip it because Temari decided she hated the smell (assuming she hadn't moved onto chicken). Even Kiba's great sense of smell couldn't hold a candle to the nose a pregnant woman.
"Wake up," Kiba chirped, chucking a pillow in the direction of the futon across the room. The pillow hit its mark: a puffy head of yellow hair. "Temari is going to want you as a guinea pig."
Puffy blond head boy was up instantly.
"What is she making this time? I swear, if its yam and peppermint pizza again, I'm going to-- hey, you haven't even been down stairs. Liar." The blond haired boy shuffled back under the covers. "Not everyone just wakes up all chipper and cheerful."
Kiba stalked over and dragged the blond haired boy out of bed. "Naruto, you're my buffer zone! If you eat all the dumb tomato and vanilla waffles, then I won't have to." They both clattered to the floor.
"Does it ever occur to Temari that just because she hates every food known to humankind, we're still fine with regular waffles and pepperoni pizza?"
"I mean, really," Naruto continued. "She put strawberries in my pork ramen. Who puts strawberries in pork ramen?"
"Temari," Kiba replied shortly. Naruto, despite his morning manner, was surprisingly chipper. Still he managed to be grouchy…it was like being really, really happy about hating the world. At least Kiba dealt with it sooner and not later.
"Din…lu…breakfast! Breakfast everybody!" Temari called as Kiba and Naruto trudged down the stairs. "Oh, you're up early Naruto! Usually you sleep in." She smiled, passing Naruto a plate. He glanced down at its contents.
What lay on the plate was surprisingly…normal, actually. A salad and blueberry pancakes. Naruto confirmed the latter with one tentative bite. Temari handed him a raspberry milkshake (Naruto waited for Kiba to take a sip before he tried it) and the boys sat down at the kitchen table opposite Gaara. Neji was sitting on one of the counters on the other side of the kitchen, heating up bacon, much to Temari's chagrin.
"Can't believe you guys graduated!" Temari squealed.
"You know, you graduated too," Kiba said. "Graduating college is way better than high school." Indeed, Temari had graduated the same day. Shikamaru, who was sitting on the living room couch, made an affirmative grunt. Kiba grinned fiendishly. "Besides, you graduating is a huge surprise."
Temari debated slapping him, but one of their friends Choji had thrown a 'we're finally adults' party; this resulted in massive drinking on everyone except, surprisingly, Temari. Kiba had been smashed and was now so out of it, it wasn't even funny.
The night prior, they hadn't been in Murphy, so Temari was designated driver. She had been designated driver since the road trip they had taken three months previous, much to her utter annoyance. One's lust for alcohol doesn't just go away merely because 'caring individuals who have your best interests and the interests of anyone you may be responsible for' won't let you down a bottle of beer at a party.
"Inuzuka, one day, I will get you when you least expect it and you will be sorry. So sorry." Temari glared menacingly over her quarter-filled glass organic orange juice. Kiba's face remained blank and he snaked over to steal some of Neji's bacon.
"Don't make me eat this near you," he threatened.
Temari squealed. "Ew!" she shrieked, running up the stairs and hiding in a closet. Kiba turned his attention on Gaara. "A long time ago, I thought you were the crazy one in the family with your love for objects and complete and utter disregard for the life of others. Now I know your sister's the one who's losing it. Lost it. Whatever." Kiba rolled his eyes, crunched the last bit of his strip of bacon, and downed the backwash left in Temari's cup. "Well I'm going to go make sure she isn't going to start flaming music. That smells nasty. Really, really nasty."
Then, as if someone had shocked him with thirty six thousand volts, Shikamaru was off the couch, shoving past Kiba, and disappearing up the stairs, presumably to stop Temari from scorching music. Kiba raced up the stairs. Both boys attempted to outrun each other. The table of people blinked.
"What's wrong with them?" Naruto asked. "I mean, Shikamaru never actually moves faster than he has to. No one has to go to the bathroom that badly! Kiba too, at exactly the same time…" The entire group face palmed.
"I think we call it jealousy Naruto," Neji observed. "Shikamaru is probably mad that Temari spends more time with Kiba than he does. It would be logical that he would try and beat Kiba up stairs."
"Screw logic!" a feminine voice shrieked down from the stairs. Temari came stomping down the stairs. "I hate both of you! The same amount! Shikamaru is my boyfriend, Kiba is my best friend. Shikamaru, Kiba actually seems to care about the fact that I probably shouldn't be an alcoholic and he actually gets off his ass once in a while. Kiba, you take it just too far, not even letting me look at a beer bottle! MAYBE I WAS GOING TO RECYCLE! I HATE YOU BOTH!"
Then Temari left. People just stared. Then, for the first time in anyone around the breakfast table's memory, Kiba and Shikamaru said words in unison.
"This is entirely your fault!" they screamed at each other. Yes, boys and girls, Nara Shikamaru actually raised his voice. Then, seconds later, he was in a screaming match with Inuzuka Kiba, and seconds after that, they were on the ground, trying to cause as much pain as humanly possible. Kiba looked angry. Shikamaru looked angrier.
"Should we break them up?" Neji asked worriedly as Kiba bit into Shikamaru's wrist and Shikamaru punched Kiba awkwardly in the stomach. Gaara shrugged.
"What good will it do? Breaking them up isn't going to do much. My hormonal sister is still out there wrecking havoc," Gaara said. He prodded the two fighting boys with one foot. "You know, if you knock any of our stuff over, Temari is going to get really mad. Madder than she already is. And she is mad."
"How mad?" Naruto asked. Gaara rolled his eyes.
"You, my friend, are even denser in the morning than you are the rest of the time. Go screw Sasuke. Maybe your head will clear up," Gaara suggested. The three non-fighting boys migrated to the kitchen. "There's always a first time, huh?" He stared at Naruto through sly, half-lidded eyes. It was one of those horribly painfully obvious facts that Sasuke and Naruto had never (as an angry Temari so ever-eloquently put it) 'fucked like a pair of rabbits on meth'. They still did fool around enough, however, to piss off the homeowners association on at least three different occasions with the sheets that always ended up on the front lawn. At least, they had.
"This is the homeowners association. We've had numerous complaints about the dirty sheets. Also the sand sculptures. They are tacky," the homeowners association had said one day from the street. They had a bullhorn and an armored car. Last time they had come around sans armored car, Kankuro just happened to be using his rifle for target practice that day.
Temari had been the one to open the door this time. "They're fucking Mandalas! They come from Tibet! THEY ARE NOT TACKY! What is tacky are those ugly-ass ties your wear when you harass people over some sheets! Sheets for god's sake! Yeah, they're gross, but you'd have the same ones if you ever got any! BUT YOU DON'T BECAUSE YOU NEVER GET ANY!" Temari went on to scar them for life with any verbal ammo she had with her. It usually centered on the homeowner's association worker's mothers. She used a lot of nice words. 'Skank-fucking-ho-bitch' and 'purple' were the preferred adjectives. They never did recover.
Temari had been the one to open the door this time.
"They're fucking Mandalas! They come from Tibet! THEY ARE NOT TACKY! What is tacky are those ugly-ass ties your wear when you harass people over some sheets! Sheets for god's sake! Yeah, they're gross, but you'd have the same ones if you ever got any! BUT YOU DON'T BECAUSE YOU NEVER GET ANY!"
Temari went on to scar them for life with any verbal ammo she had with her. It usually centered on the homeowner's association worker's mothers. She used a lot of nice words. 'Skank-fucking-ho-bitch' and 'purple' were the preferred adjectives.
They never did recover.
"Sasuke isn't talking again," Naruto said miserably.
Neji sighed and ruffled Naruto's hair affectionately. "You should give him some time. The last three months have been really traumatic for him."
Indeed, the last three months had been fairly traumatic for Sasuke. Having a run-in with syphilis hadn't exactly helped him with the whole 'let's forget' attempts (this had further freaked out Naruto, who had managed to catch it from Sasuke, though it wasn't surprising really. They had both recovered fully). Endless testifying against Orochimaru and his accomplice Kabuto had triggered paranoia in Sasuke, who no longer let anyone, including Naruto, touch him at all. Selling Orochimaru's house, which he apparently owned had degraded his mind so much that he had been hospitalized. He had planned to jump off the pier with weights on his feet, but Temari had found his note and locked him in the bathroom, sans razors. For the years prior, it had been like Sasuke had dropped off the legal face of the earth, and now all the information relating to Itachi resurfaced.
"He was fine for a while, though," Naruto said contemplatively. "Then he just stopped being fine."
Neji nodded. "Several events triggered that shock. Like getting syphilis, then giving it to you--"
"Does that make it my fault?" Naruto demanded miserably. Neji sighed.
"No, it was inevitable. It was the idea that he caused someone he loves any sort of the pain that was so harmful to his mental health. Don't look so mortified, you just had a couple of sores in your mouth, you're both fine, you're not going to die. It wasn't just that."
"What else was there?" Naruto asked.
Neji raised an eyebrow. "Why ask me?"
"You aced Basic Psychology! You passed AP Psychology! I managed to flunk the easiest course the first week!" Naruto exclaimed.
Neji shrugged. "I aced Basic Chemistry too, which you flunked in the first week."
"Shut up and tell me stuff," Naruto begged. "And put it in English."
"Basically," Gaara cut in. Gaara had been the test subject in more than enough studies. "Neji is saying that being around the source of his problems brought them back to the surface. The stress got to him, and he's just a little shaken up. Now that it's all over, he'll be fine."
No one had noticed Temari had slipped into the room. Probably that was the point, considering Kiba and Shikamaru were still attempting murder on the living room floor and she probably didn't want to deal with that. Naruto smiled at her before skittering off up the stairs.
Temari wheeled around to face Gaara, and she looked mad. "Just a little shaken up? What are you on Gaara? You never sugar coat the truth, I've known you seventeen years. Sasuke is more than 'a little shaken up'. He doesn't talk to anyone anymore and he won't let anyone in his room. He won't let anyone, not even Naruto, touch him anymore. He was hospitalized for a week last month because he can't even cope with reality! He was going to kill himself! A little shaken up? What planet are you on Gaara?"
Gaara sighed. "You want to tell Naruto his boyfriend is a basket case? Be my guest. I'd rather deal with you in a vat of bacon grease."
"Ew," said Temari. "Well what now, darling little brother what do we do now? Neji, you're the one who passed Psychology, you tell me."
"We could drag him far away from his problems," Neji suggested.
"I second that," Gaara said offhandedly.
Temari's eyes narrowed. "We would do that how? Gaara, in case you didn't notice, that little road trip? Cost us an ass load of money. I don't have scholarships anymore and we're currently providing food for six people, eight if you count Shikamaru and Kiba who are constantly here and eating! Prenatal care, by the way, isn't cheap. Neither is postnatal, come to think of it. Neither are the eighteen or so years that follow that. So how do you suggest we pull this off?"
Then, the phone rang.
"I'll get it," Neji said nervously. Nineteen seconds later, he held the phone at arms length and shouted, "GAARA! IT'S DEIDARA!"
Gaara picked up the phone. "Hey," he said.
"Gaara, un! It's Deidara. Look, Remika and I are going out of town for a couple weeks and we needed someone to watch the house, un. The police are on our backs. Some gibberish about smuggling marijuana in my art, un. It's clay. Green clay. Anyway, we're heading down to California."
"We fit in where?"
"If you watched the house for us, you could stay here. We have some friends in the music scene, Eugene always has wicked concerts. We could get you tickets to whatever you wanted. It's summer, right un? If we could borrow your house while you're up there, it would be great un."
Gaara's eyes twitched. "Hey, could I call you back in five? Or rather, could you call us back? The phone bill costs much munny." Deidara grunted the affirmative un and hung up.
"Oh guys! We're pulling it off!"
Naruto knocked cautiously on the door at the end of the hallway. There was no response. "Sasuke? Are you awake?" Long ago, it had been 'Sasuke, are you in there?' which soon became 'Sasuke, are you busy?'. Now it was just a simple question of whether the dark haired boy was awake or asleep. If he was awake. There was no response to this question. "Sasuke, are you awake?" Naruto repeated.
"Eh," Sasuke muttered, his soft voice wafting through the shut door. Gibberish was the most anyone got out of him most of the time. Naruto opened the door slowly and stepped inside the room Sasuke now occupied, one that had once belonged to Temari and Gaara's father.
"Hey Sasuke," Naruto said quietly. Sasuke sat on his bed, staring blankly at a spot just to the right of the door Naruto had entered from. "How are you feeling?" The blond boy sat on the edge of Sasuke's bed.
Sasuke didn't speak; he just bowed his head with an expression of anguish.
"Rotten? That's too bad. Did you want to come outside with me? It's a nice day." Naruto moved slowly to the window and pulled up the blue shades. Light filtered into the room, making the shadows of Sasuke's sunken features darker.
Sasuke shook his head. He inched away when Naruto sat near him. He traced the patterns of the flowers on the worn, patchwork quilt Temari had dragged up from the depths of her mother's study. The only quilt her mother ever made.
"You're not though. What's wrong Sasuke? Can I make it better?"
Sasuke shook his head.
"I love you," Naruto said quietly. Sasuke snorted. "It hurts when you push me away," Naruto breathed. He reached out, fingers outstretched. They connected with the side of Sasuke's knee. The dark haired boy jerked back and fell to the floor. He scrambled backwards, backing into a corner. Naruto crawled slowly towards him.
Sasuke's eyes looked somewhere between terrified and angry. The dark haired boy held out his hands in front of him, and when they connected with Naruto's chest, he pulled them back like they had been burned. Naruto stopped and sat back to look at Sasuke carefully.
"Do you not trust me?" Naruto asked. Sasuke stared back, almost defiant.
"Why not? Have I hurt you?"
"Why did you change?"
"Get the fuck out," Sasuke hissed.
"Was it my fault?"
"I said get the fuck out."
So Naruto left. He looked crushed. Someone could have ground him in a pepper grinder and chopped each molecule into pure elemental atoms and he would have felt more whole, more complete, less like a miserable failure. He remembered vaguely when he and Sasuke had been in…love? Lust maybe, to say the least. Then suddenly, Sasuke had changed. Or maybe Naruto had changed.
"How did it go?" Temari asked. She sat on the second to the last step. She tapped her fingers on her knee to the beat of the Dixie Chicks, which played from the living room. "I met the Queen of Whatever, drank with the Irish, smoked with the hippies, moved with the shakers. Wouldn't kiss all the asses that they told me to…" she muttered along. "That bad, huh?"
Naruto nodded. "Gaara lied, didn't he?"
Temari nodded. "Sasuke's pretty messed up. He'll be fine. Remember the last time he was really, really okay?"
"Yeah," Naruto said. "Road Trip."
Temari nodded. "Apparently Deidara and Remika are coming down here and need somewhere to stay here and someone to watch their house in Eugene. So they offered to switch houses for a while. Throwing tickets to a bunch of concerts."
"That's cool," Naruto murmured. "When are we going?"
"Tomorrow. Apparently Deidara has some green clay issues and needs out now."
"His wife scares me," Naruto said, his lips spreading into a slight grin. Temari made people feel better.
Temari nodded. "Yeah. I know. She's like…I don't know. Someone from a Japanese horror movie. I actually know a girl from Eugene who could tell you exactly what she's like. I'll have to ask her. Ah, the pluses of knowing people with complete obsessions with J-Horror. I'll have to call her later."
"So what's the Shikamaru and Kiba verdict? Did they stop trying to kill each other?"
"That's good. Where are they now?"
"I think they're putting cucumbers on their bruises," Temari said.
"First aid kits are valuable and expensive resources and I don't buy steak. So it was either cucumbers or bananas."
"Hey, where are you going?" Temari asked when Naruto rose. The blond boy turned to face her with a grin.
"I'm going to go find them a first aid kit," he said. He turned to continue down the hallway before turning his gaze back to Temari. "Could you do me a favor?" he asked quietly.
"Sure," Temari said. With everyone else, it was 'what is it?'.
"Can you go upstairs and talk to Sasuke?"
"Of course." Temari bowed and started up the stairs. She really hated Sasuke at that moment. She had known Naruto since she was ten or so. He was like her little brother. Who ever screwed with him was doomed to a really painful death.
Temari knocked timidly on the door. Not because she was feeling timid, but she was overcompensating for her rage and anger. So she knocked quietly.
"Go away," Sasuke growled from inside the room. There was a long pause.
Then Temari attacked the door with both fists. "YOU BETTER OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" she screamed. Kankuro poked his head out of a door a few feet away. Temari ignored him. "SASUKE GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE! You have thirty seconds before I lock you the hell in there and starve you out."
"Orochimaru used to starve me," Sasuke said stoically from inside the room. "I doubt you would be able to withhold food long enough to even phase me."
"Then I'm going fucking light this room on fire. Open up the goddamn--" Temari kicked the door open with one well aimed foot, "--door." She surveyed the room. Sasuke was sitting on his bed, looking thoroughly miserable. He was playing with a rubix cube, not even looking at it, just twirling around the boxes in aimless patterns. "Sasuke, what's wrong with you?"
"You made Naruto cry, don't you care?"
"Do you eve care?"
Sasuke made a sort of noncommittal noise.
So Temari decided to react the way most people would. Well, not most people, but this is Temari we're speaking of: rabid, angry, and pregnant-lady-with-withdrawal. Three months was not enough time to get over ten years of constant alcohol.
She punched him in the face.
This was probably the stupidest action on Temari's part since she had met Sasuke. 'Stupid of me,' she thought. 'Fuck it, he deserved it.'
Back in reality, Sasuke fell back, clutching his nose, screaming from pain, and landed on the floor. Temari punched hard. She had since she was a little kid. She climbed down to his level, pinning his arms down.
"You know, there was a time you would have been flipping out at the thought of hurting him. Now you just ignore the issue. He'd get up in the middle of the night for you! He won't even get up at a reasonable hour for me!" Temari's eyes blazed at the boy under her. He had long stopped struggling and was now staring blankly up at her. This pissed her off, but she couldn't do much without further harming whatever was left of his sanity. 'Shitshitshit that was really stupid,' she thought. "He'd play uke for you. Of course, you flipped out before he could actually do that for you."
"Just because someone will spread their legs doesn't mean they love anybody," Sasuke growled. His voice was dark and blank and he stared past Temari to the ceiling. "Doesn't mean they love anybody."
Temari stood, getting off Sasuke. Blood was dripping from his nose where she had hit him and his black eyes stared at the ceiling without blinking. He looked altogether like a corpse. The blood that gushed from his face trickled down his
"You're right," Temari said. "It never got that far, did it? You talk about it to yourself, I've heard you in the night, about how people use you. Who do you think is being used here now, Uchiha? Who do you think is hurting? You're a selfish, petulant little boy. You want what you want with no kind of remorse for how anyone else feels. Remind you of anyone?"
:dance: Finally started the second installment. The music scene in Eugene is wicked. Have fun dahlings.
No forget to give suggestions/flames/praise. I will love you long time.