Kagome: Hi, I'm Kagome. Were happy to be featured here today. This is one of our very favorite web sights.

Sango: It's sure is!

Miroku: Yes, it is.

Shippo: It's really neat!

InuYasha Keh, its ok, if you like that kind of thing I guess.

Sesshomaru: I don't like human web sights

InuYasha: hey, nobody told me the &#(&$ was going to be here.

Kagome: InuYasha,

InuYasha: stupid #&$#

Sesshomaru: half-breed

Kagome: Boys please! Were guests here, try to behave.

InuYasha: Keh, what're you telling me for?

Kagome: Rolls eyes

Kagome: Rin, it is nice to see you again

Rin : Hi there Kagome! Can I say something to Mitsukai's readers?

Kagome: sure

Rin: It's for all the fanfic writers out there.

Kagome: Okay, shoot

Jaken: Bang

Sesshomaru: Jaken

Jaken: Yes my lord?

Sesshomaru: Shut up.

Jaken:

Rin: I just want to know, what's the deal with you all making me Sesshomaru's WOMAN when I grow up? I mean, come on…like…Ewwwwww! That's just like soooooo wrong, on soooooo many levels! I mean, That's NASTY! BARF-O-RAMA! He's old enough to be an ancient tree in my backyard! I'm young and cute, I can do a lot better than that old fart. No offense lord Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru: I don't take offense at human's sniffle

Rin: I'm sorry scratches behind Sesshomaru's ears Better now?

Sesshomaru: sniffle Yes.

Miroku: I have a question

Sango: Here we go. rolls eyes

Kagome: No Miroku, I wont bear your children

Rin: Ewwwwwwwwww! Don't look at me! I can do way better than you too!

Miroku: No, No… But, as long as I'm asking…

Kagome, Sango, Rin: NO!

Miroku: Ok, Ok,

InuYasha: Hey, how come none of us guys have shirts on?

Kagome: Well, Its Mitsukai's interview, so it's her imagination

Sesshomaru: I feel like such a piece of meat.

Naraku: I Naraku, say…Why doesn't anyone want to see me, Naraku, without a shirt on?

Sango: Nobody invited you! Get out! And take Kagura and Kanna with you!

Naraku: I am Naraku and I have every right to go where ever I Naraku decide I want to go because I am Naraku.

Sesshomaru: Can someone tell me what he just said?

InuYasha: he said your ugly and you smell bad

Koga: I'll take Naraku out of here. C'mon ugly ape boy, lets go. throws Naraku out

Koga: Hey Kagome! I'm sorry you missed me so much

Kagome :rolls eyes

InuYasha: hands off wolf-shit

Koga: Shut up milk bone

InuYasha: You shut up wimp

Koga: Butt munch

InuYasha: Flea magnet

Koga: Go fetch Throws stick

InuYasha: Chases, then stops suddenly #&$#!

Kagome: Boys, Boys, This is a family Interview!

InuYasha: Why did Mitsukai let the throw rug in?

Kagome: I like….I mean She likes his body.

InuYasha: WHAT?????

Sesshomaru: I don't let humans like my body

InuYasha: WHAT?????

Sesshomaru: They are inferior to admire my lean trim sexy flesh

InuYasha: WHAT?????

Sesshomaru: I said they are…

InuYasha: Not you, you stupid jackass.

Kagome: Well, before this gets out of hand…

InuYasha: Kagome, I said WHAT????

Kagome: Sit boy.

SLAM

InuYasha: #&#

Sesshomaru: snickers

Kagome: Slaps Sesshomaru on the back of the head

Jaken: You brazen woman!

Kagome: Jaken, shut up

Jaken: I don't take orders from you, your just a ..

Sesshomaru: Jaken

Jaken: Yes my lord?

Sesshomaru: Shut up

Jaken:...

Kagome: Well, now that our introductions are out of the way…

Ayame: Hey, what about me?

Kagome: Oh, I'm sorry Ayame, would you like to say a few words?

Ayame: Well, just to remind you that Koga is my hot burning hunk of man wolf, so back off honey.

Kagome: OOOOOOOO….KKKKKKKKK.

InuYasha: Guess she told you

Kagome: InuYasha

InuYasha: Oh Crap

Kagome: SIT

SLAM

InuYasha:&#&#!

InuYasha: Sorry Kisses Kagome on the cheek

Sesshomaru: I don't suck up to humans.

Kagome: Oh InuYasha! That was so sweet!

InuYasha: Well, I try.

Kagome: Your good at it

InuYasha: Well, if I don't mind saying so myself…

Miroku: and he doesn't.

Kagome: Oh InuYasha

InuYasha: Kagome

Kagome: Kiss

InuYasha: Kiss

Koga: BARF

Miroku: They are so sweet. Hey, Sango…Kiss

Sango: Slap!

Shippo: Get a room

Miroku: Okay, ….

Sango: Not you! SLAP Pervert!

Kagome: Anyway. We have a list of questions that Mitsuaki prepared from her visitors

Miroku: I have a question

Kagome, Sango, Ayame, Rin :NO!

SlapSlapSlapSlap

Sesshomaru: I don't let human women slap me

SlapSlapSlapSlap

InuYasha: Now you do hehehe

SlapSlapSlapSlap

InuYasha: &($&#!

SlapSlapSlapSlap

Shippo: HEY! What did I do?

Kagome: oops,. Sorry Shippo, we just got a little carried away.

Naraku: I am Naraku, and I Naraku want to know why no one wants to slap me, Naraku

InuYasha: My turn. C'mon banana breath, lets go.

Naraku: I am Naraku! I demand that you slap me like everyone else and let ME Naraku take off my shirt……..

Sango: Don't let him, I'll barf

Kagura: Please Kagome, don't make us leave with him again.

Kagome: Okay, you can stay, just don't talk. You either.

Kanna:...

Miroku: Mitsukai….I don't mind if you wish to admire my hard muscular glistening wet body….Say, would you consider bearing my children?

Mitsukai steps in and whispers to Sango

Sango: Sure Mitsuaki.

SLAP

Miroku: Well, Maybe I'll just put my shirt on then...

Kagome: NO!

InuYasha: Excuse me?

Kagome: Uh..er...I mean..Mitsukai...

InuYasha: Feh. pout

Kagome: I'm sorry

InuYasha: Really?

Kagome: Of course …… honey bunny

InuYasha: Snookums

Kagome: Sweetiepie

InuYasha: Kissy kiss

Kagome: Kissy kiss

Shippo: There's kids here ya know!

Kanna:...

Koga: I'm going into sugar shock

Ayame: Koga…… Kissy kiss?

Koga: Ummm, maybe in ten years when you grow up

Naraku: I am Naraku and I Naraku want to know why someone as important as I, Naraku, have been excluded from this interview.

Kagome: Naraku, go away

Shippo: Ill get him out of here. C'mon idiot

Naraku: I Naraku, am insulted…..this tiny whelp….thinks he can…..remove me, Naraku?

Shippo: Shut up Grabs his ear and drags him out

Kanna: Shippo, your such a big strong kitsune …can I stay with you?

Shippo: No

Kanna: Why not?

Shippo: Because your creepy

Sesshomaru: I don't let human's be creepy around me

Koga: Hey Sesshomaru, your kinda annoying

Sesshomaru: You kinda smell like wolf poop

Koga: You kinda have ten foot long armpit hair

Sesshomaru: Your kinda in love with a filthy human

Kagome: Hey! Slap

InuYasha: Nobody insults Kagome when I'm around.

Sesshomaru: Okay, then I will insult you.

InuYasha: That's better.

Naraku: I Naraku say THIS IS IT! I Naraku want to know why no one will insult me. How dare you leave me out, I Naraku say, INSULT me too!

Sesshomaru: Ok, your ugly, stupid, and have really bad taste in clothes

InuYasha: Don't forget that he reeks and picks his nose

Miroku: And somewhere there's a poor naked baboon running around cause he stole its pelt.

Shippo: And he smells like rotten moldy banana peels and baboon poop

Koga: And he wipes his butt and then sniffs his fingers

Naraku: I Naraku say, that wasn't as enjoyable as I Naraku thought it would be.

Kagome: Hey, who keeps letting Naraku in anyway?

Ayame: Someone call security, before he tries to hurt my Kogakins

InuYasha: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! KOGA-KINS!

Koga: POUND

InuYasha: #&$(

Security rushes in and removes Naraku

Kagome: Okay, now that the apes gone, for now anyway, lets get to some questions. The first question is for Shippo. Marsha from RI wants to know What did you really think of InuYasha the first time you met him?

Shippo: The same thing I think of him now. He's a long haired, dog eared, freak with a bad temper and lousy taste in women. If I had half a chance I would grab Kagome, run off and never be seen again.

Kagome: Oh Shippo, that's so sweet.

Kagura: That reminds me…Why isn't Kikyo here?

Sango: Because Mitsukai wont let her on her web sight.

Kagura: Why?

InuYasha: Cuz, Kikyo sucks.

Kagome: InuYasha! I didn't know you felt that way.

InuYasha: Well, Not like I'm the writer. If I had my way Id say #& the jewel shards, take ya back to your own time, punch Homo in the nose, marry you and have about three dozen puppies.

Kagome: InuYasha!

InuYasha: Kagome!

Kagome: InuYasha nuzzles

InuYasha: Kagome…nuzzles

Kagome: InuYasha nuzzles

InuYasha: Kiss ….Kiss nuzzles

Kagome: Kiss….Kiss nuzzles

Shippo: Ugh! Would someone hose those two down?

Sango: Uhhhh…Miroku?

Miroku: Yes Sango?

Sango: Miroku nuzzles

Miroku: Sango nuzzles

Sango: Miroku…..nuzzles

Miroku:……Sango nuzzles

Sango…..Never mind

Shippo: What a bunch of idiots,

Ayame: Koga! Why don't you ever get all mushy with me?

Koga: I don't even remember you,

Ayame: You do too!

Koga: Do not

Ayame: do too!

Koga :Not

Ayame: Do!

Koga : NOT!

Ayame: DO DO DO! This is all your fault Kaaaaagoooooomeeeee!

Kagome: Huh? What did I do?

Koga: I'm in love with you Kagome. Aren't you ready to leave that hairball and be with a real man?

Sesshomaru: I don't speak to human hairballs

Naraku: Ha! I've busted my way back in, and look what I Naraku Slap have brought with me? It is a new demon that I Slap Naraku just gave birth to, yes, I Naraku punch am so wonderful that I Naraku ouch can give birth even though I, Naraku, am a man.

Koga: What did he just say?

InuYasha: He said you're a doofus and have a big butt

Koga: Oh.

Kagome: Okay Naraku. Where is this new demon you brought with you.

Naraku: I Naraku have given birth to a demon who ouch is so powerful that none but I, kick Naraku can see it or feel its attacks SLAM, POUND, SLAP See! HAHAHAHA.

Kagome: Naraku?

Naraku: I Naraku say.kick.What

Kagome: If we can't see it or feel its attacks….what is the point

Naraku: I Naraku,don't have any fucking Idea, ouch but I Naraku pound am running out of ideas pound for my demon children, so….. slap

Sango:My turn, come on ugly drags Naraku out and drop kicks him

Kagome: Ummm, oooooooooookkkkkk

Koga: HEY! Rover called me a name and insulted my butt

Kagome: About five minutes ago.

Koga: I've had just about enough of you muttface. How bout I kick you in the head, not that there's much up there to hurt

InuYasha: TESSIAGA

Miroku: InuYasha, calm down. He's just trying to get a rise out of you to make you look bad.

Sesshomaru: As if he needs any help

Shippo: Yeah, specially when he is always two timing her with the dead sea hag

InuYasha: Hey, don't call her a sea hag! I prefer &#$&. And like I said before, it not my fault, I ain't the writer!

Kagome: Giggles Oh InuYasha

Sesshomaru: Kagome, have you ever considered leaving these boys for a real demon?

Kagome: Are you talking about yourself Sesshomaru?

Sesshomaru: I don't mate with human women

Kagome: uh…

Sesshomaru: But, if you promise not to tell anyone……winky wink

InuYasha: HEY! Don't you touch her you &$(&$&($&#($&#&($(&($+)(&(&+)(&(&$

Miroku: Simmer down InuYasha

InuYasha: How would you like it if someone was hitting on your woman?

Miroku: I'm secure enough to….

InuYasha: Hey Sango…wanna bear my children?

Sango: Why InuYasha! I'd be honored to!

Miroku: Sango! How…How….can you….

Sango: HA! Sucks when the shoes on the other foot huh

Kagome: Sango, your my best friend. giggle giggle

InuYasha: What about those girls and that Homo #$& you are always with in your own time?

Kagome: UGH! Its always "Do this, do that!" Makes me want to knock their heads together. And HoJo? UGH, what a goody two shoes! Sometimes I just want to take off this stupid skirt put on some hot black leather pants and matching leather halter top and dance like a stripper on his desk! He'd probably just give me some kind of medicine! What a twerp.

HoJo: Hey, Kagome! Did you just call me? How are you feeling? You haven't been in school much lately, I brought you some ……….

InuYasha: PUNCH

HoJo: It was nice talking to you Kagome, here's some preparation H for that hemorrhoid sitting next to you. When your feeling better we'll have to go on that date and...

InuYasha: PUNCH

HoJo: Okay then, Bye Kagome!

Kagome: See what I mean? TWERP!

Miroku: Kagome, if you really have that urge to dance like a stripper its not healthy to keep it inside, feel free to ….

PUNCH

InuYasha: If Kagome is going to act like that for anyone it better be me!

Koga: Me Me ME!

Punch

Naraku: I Naraku say ME ME ME!

PUNCH PUNCH

Sesshomaru: My turn picks Naraku up with one hand and tosses him through a window.

Kagome: Sesshomaru, your pretty strong for a guy with one arm.

Sesshomaru: I don't show my big firm bulging muscles to humans Winky Wink

Kagome: Umm, ok, lets have another question. InuYasha…Ross from Michigan wants to know "Why do you and Sesshomaru hate each other so much?"

Sesshomaru: I don't answer humans questions

InuYasha: Good, cause no ones talking to you Fluffy. When we were kids, Sesshomaru broke a torch in Dads office and he blamed me for it. And he tried to kill my woman a couple of times.

Kagome: cuddles InuYasha.

Sesshomaru: InuYasha drooled on me in his sleep, took my favorite hairbrush and used my make-up without my permission. Oh, and there was that cutting my arm off thing too

Kagome: Brittany in Minnesota wants to know…Koga, how come you denied that you remembered promising to marry Ayame even thought you did remember at the end of the episode?

Ayame: You WHAT?

Koga: Hey, do I look like the writer? How am I suppose to know. Besides, your not even canon.

Ayame: SLAP

InuYasha: Snicker

Koga: Shut up Rover

Kagome: OK, our next question is from Trish in Texas, Sesshomaru, why do you hate humans so much?

Sesshomaru: I would tell you but, I don't answer humans questions

Rin: You answer my questions

Sesshomaru: You bite my tail if I don't.

Sango: You go girl

Kagome: We have time for one more question. Tiffany in Maine wants to know, for everyone, If you could have one wish what would it be?

Koga: For Kagome to dump Rover

Shippo: A new box of crayons and a crate of Pocky.

Miroku: For my hand to be healed, for Sango to bear my children and let me grab her butt once and awhile and….

InuYasha: Hey Monk, it was ONE wish.

Miroku: Didn't you notice InuYasha, it's a run on sentence.

Sesshomaru: To find a demon woman who is worthy of me. But Kagome, if you change your mind, here's my card

InuYasha: That's it fluffy Punch

Sesshomaru: Back off spot. punch

InuYasha: One armed freak. punch

Sesshomaru: Hairball. punch

InuYasha: Butthead. punch

Sesshomaru: Ugly. punch

Kagome: Uh, can we have some semblance of order here? Ayame? What's your wish?

Ayame: I want my Koga-kins

InuYasha: Snickers Koga Kins!

Koga: That's it..

Slap, boom bang scuffle

InuYasha: Nice try fart face. .punch

Kagome: How bout you Rin?

Rin: I want someone to write a fanfic about me and a really hot guy my OWN AGE. No offense lord Sesshomaru

Sesshomaru: Sniffle Bring the kid back to life and this is the thanks I get.

Jaken: Shame on you Rin!

Sesshomaru: Jaken

Jaken: Yes my lord?

Sesshomaru: Shut up

Jaken:

Rin: Pets Sesshomaru until his leg starts to thump All better now my lord?

Sesshomaru: Yes sniffle

Kagome: InuYasha…What's yourrrrrrrrrrr wish?

InuYasha:&$&$)&&#$)(!&$!&&)(!#&)&&&($&()#$&())(&$$&())(&$&()+)(&#$&())(&&()+$&()$#&()+#$&()$#&()+$&()#$&()+$&

Kagome: InuYasha! Turns completely red

InuYasha: What's your wish Kagome?

Kagome:&$&$)&&#$)(!&$!&&)(!#&)&&&($&()#$&())(&$$&())(&$&()+)(&#$&())(&&()+$&()$#&()+#$&()$#&()+$&()#$&()+$&

InuYasha: Oh yeah? Then could we ….&$&$)&&#$)(!&$!&&)(!#&)&&&($&()#$&())(&$$&())(&$&()+)(&#$&())(&&()+$&()$#&()+#$&()$#&()+$&()#$&()+$&

Shippo: Get a room

Sango: I just want my brother to not try to kill me anymore.

Miroku: What about me Sango?

Sango: #(# off Monk Slap

Kagome: Kagura? Kanna?

Kanna: I'd like to put this mirror down so I can rest my arms for five minutes.

Kagura: Naraku's latest incarnation to rip his throat out.

Sesshomaru: Kagura, you sound like my kind of demon. Wanna be my woman? We can kill InuYasha together.

Kagura: I would, but to be honest, I find you rather repulsive

Naraku: I Naraku wish to be included in this interview because I am Naraku

Kagome: Takes out a tranquilizer dart gun and shoots Naraku in the butt

Sesshomaru: Kagome, I could break my no human rule….

Kagome: Shoots dart

InuYasha: Hey fluffy, back off my woman already

Kagome: Shoots dart

Jaken: Hey, where can I get one of those dart guns?

Kagome: Shoots dart

InuYasha: Snookums, how could you?

Kagome: Sorry, honey bunny….its girls night out and you never want to let me go…….you know what they say…….girls just wanna have fun!

Koga: Kagome …

Kagome:....Shoots dart...

Ayame: Kagomeeeeeeeeee What did you do to my……..

Kagome:....Shoots dart, reloads...

Miroku: Sango!!!!!!!! I'm feeling pretty excited right…..now. Want to………..

Kagome: Hands dart gun to Sango

Sango: ...Shoots dart...

Shippo: Kagome!

Kagome:....Shoots dart...

Kagome: Well, now that everyone is unconscious, that's our show for today….Thanks Mitsukai for inviting us. They'll sleep it off it about an hour. C'mon girls, lets go grab some strawberry margaritas and cherry Jell-O shots.

Higurashi…OUT

They leave singing………….

Girls just wanna have fuuuuunnn…………..