Alia: Now this is actually a oneshot. The problem is that it's getting so long that it will take a long while before it's finished. So I did this. I'll be sending bits and pieces as the mood takes me. I also wanted people to know that I was still alive and writing. As a matter of fact, I'm sitting here writing in my Journalism 414 class.

For more important news, this is NEW! Yeah I know it's a new story but I mean new as in something I wanted to try. I had another mpreg lined up but decided to try something different instead. You have to read the entire thing to understand what I'm doing if you haven't figured it all out by the end.

So give this a try. I'm pretty sure you won't hate my OMC. Just give it all a try, PLEASE!

Review!

Title: Expecting The Absolute Weirdest

Author: Alia

Part 1/1

Rating: R

Pairing: Severus Snape / Original Male Character; Severus Snape / Harry Potter

Spoilers: HBP spoilers (just not the way you would think)!

Warnings: slash, language, angst, humor?, AU

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Harry Potter. I would like to but JKR does and I don't think she's inclined to share.

Summary: Two men facing painful losses drown their sorrows, and make an already interesting rollercoaster much more interesting.

Author's notes: This is just a silly little story. I don't even know why I'm writing it. I think it may be one of those feel good stories. NO SAP (at least I hope not). It makes me sick to my stomach. Ah well. Here goes.

Expecting The Absolute Weirdest

Albus Dumbledore smiled as the other Hogwarts professors began gathering their papers and other things so they could leave right as the meeting ended. Not that the Headmaster blamed them. Even he disliked going over all the annoying little extras of the school year. It was a rather useless activity. The Headmaster trusted his staff, although sometimes he wondered about Trelawney, with their students' education. Even Severus, despite the young man's temper with the Gryffindors.

Dumbledore's eyes focused on his young friend. Severus was marking a few changes to his syllabus. A pleased look was on the wizard's face. Albus smiled in response.

Honestly, Snape's curriculum need no improvements but the potions master obviously didn't mind. The older wizard didn't care. He was happy that Severus was his usual self again. It had hurt to see the potions master so out of sorts by his lover's betrayal.

The Headmaster had remembered being shocked at the man's behavior to Severus. The way they had acted toward each other demonstrated a strong relationship. Apparently, all the Hogwarts staff, who were the only ones that knew of the relationship, were wrong.

Minerva nudged Albus, who smiled and nodded. "Yes, yes. I know." He turned to his staff. "Since we've completed our agenda for the day, is there anything else we need to discuss? Any announcements to make?" He looked specifically at Hooch, who often took the time to talk about the Quidditch teams or fields. Hooch and the others shook their heads.

"Actually-," Severus said hesitantly, drawing his colleagues' attention. Albus watched his young friend fold his hands and sit them primly in his lap. "I do have an announcement to make."

Dumbledore immediately wondered if Severus intended to resign again. His friend's heartbreak had been true and honest. Severus hadn't wanted to stay at Hogwarts so many memories he had of his former lover. The fact that one of the man's best friends worked at Hogwarts reminded him of his pain everyday.

"Oh?" said Minerva curiously. She saw the worried look Albus gave the Slytherin. "What is it, Severus?"

The group of Hogwarts employees were surprised to see a light blush on Severus's face. Albus's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Severus?" The Headmaster found it very interesting that Severus would blush. Usually the potions master had strong controls over shows of emotion.

The potions master cleared his throat. "I...We thought it best that you knew before he arrived. He didn't like the idea of being hexed for stepping inside the school."

"He?" asked Sinistra. "Who's coming, Severus?"

It was obvious to everyone that Severus was stalling. "Severus, don't be embarrassed. Tell us," Flitwick urged but mentally hoped that Severus and his lover hadn't gotten back together. They had all been angry and disappointed that the man had cheated on Severus then married the girl he'd slept with.

"During my time away...I married."

"What?!" cried Minerva, Hermione, and Poppy, although the mediwitch's exclamation came out as a stutter. Albus sat in his chair with wide eyes and a slack jaw. Had Snape not felt so awkward, the old wizard was sure his friend would have enjoyed the rare expression.

He was mirrored by many of the other professors. Hagrid, however, was smiling brightly and congratulated the potions master. Thankfully, though unfortunately for Severus, this brought everyone else out of their shock.

It surprised no one that Dumbledore spoke first. "Severus, child...you've-,"

"Married, yes." Severus made sure not to look at anyone in particular. "I met him while I was away for the potions conference in Greece."

"But that was just over this summer!" exclaimed Minerva. "Isn't it a bit soon for marriage?"

"Unless..." Vector smirked. "Oh I see. Swept you off your feet, Severus?" she said with a raised eyebrow.

He glared at her. "It was nothing of the sort, you busybody." She burst into laughing when she saw the color in his face deepen. Severus scowled when Filius and Pomona started snickering. Hagrid couldn't hide his laughter much anyway. He made the table shake. Binns looked confused. Filch didn't seem to care though he listened in nonetheless.

Hooch grinned at her friend then turned to Severus. She was more than ready to join in on the teasing. "Oh don't mind her, Severus. We're all just a little surprised. I mean you got married after knowing the man for how long?"

Sinistra leaned in when Severus's lips tightened and he dropped his eyes. Like Hooch, she found the situation to interesting to release without a comment. "Come now, Severus. Answer her. How long did you know each other before you married?"

He glowered at her. "Just how is any of this your affair?"

"Because you announced it to ALL of us. Now answer the bloody question," she snapped eagerly.

"...six weeks," Snape snarled softly.

Hooch, Sinistra, and Vector started howling with laughter as the other teachers stared at Severus, incredibly startled by what they saw as abnormal behavior by the potions master. Vector got a hold of herself first. "So our Severus was caught in a whirlwind romance!"

Severus was seething with anger at the teasing. "Not that it any of your business but it was not-,"

"Severus, you married the man after knowing him for a few weeks!" Sinistra said with a huge smile on her face. "You can't deny it."

"He must be pretty smooth to have gotten a hold of you so fast, Severus," said Hooch with a grin. Ignoring his glare, she continued, "Did his looks catch you that well? I can't wait to see him! Maybe he's good in bed. That would certainly do it." Vector and Sinistra's laughs grew louder.

Minerva looked at the three witches appalled while Hermione shook her head in embarrassment. The young witch did keep her eyes on Severus. /This is a bit of a surprise though. I didn't think Severus would do something quite like this./ Some of the other teachers smiled at the four professors.

"Woman," Snape growled. He moved to stand. "I'm going to-,"

Albus quickly laid a staying hand on the potions master's arm. "Now, calm down my boy. They don't mean any harm." He paused to give the three witches a warning look despite the bright twinkle in his eye. The outright laughter dropped to soft giggling and unflattering snorts.

Dumbledore smiled at his annoyed potions master as Severus retook his seat. "You must realize that you have greatly surprised us, Severus. It's hard to believe that you would marry someone so quickly."

"Yes, well, I simply thought it best to warn everyone. He should be here this afternoon." Snape leaned back in his chair with a scowl and crossed his arms.

"Will he be here for lunch, Severus?" asked Poppy. "We'll be able to meet him, won't we?"

The mediwitch had a determined look in her eye. She wanted to see who this man was that Snape married. Severus was a good friend of hers and she really didn't want to see him hurt again.

"Yes. He should arrive around one o'clock. I plan to meet him at the gates."


"So what brought you to Greece?" The man asked with a cool stare. "Boredom or a need to run away?"

His darker companion scowled at him. "I don't see how that is any affair of yours."

"I didn't think there was any harm in asking."

"And that is why you asked?"

The man laughed roughly. "Oh no. I was curious to see if anyone else had run like me."


Severus rubbed his forehead as he felt the splitting headache from earlier grow worse while he started to fend off Albus's questions about his husband. The same questions had been thrown at him since he'd told the bunch of idiots that he was a married man.

He understood the curiosity of his colleagues. He'd known a man for not even two months before marrying him, but they simply wouldn't understand the circumstances behind his marriage. Severus hoped Albus never learned the truth of why he married. The Headmaster would not be pleased at his reasons or his husband's.

"How old is he, Severus?" Albus asked again.

"Albus, leave me alone." Snape was close to whining in order to silence the old wizard and cursed because he knew it was a habit he'd obtained from his spouse. /Of all the marriage bonds to choose.../

"I don't mean any harm, Severus." Dumbledore smiled at the dark haired wizard. "I can't help myself. I want to know who this man is that's stolen your heart so quickly."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Albus, you make this sound like those god awful romances Sybill reads." Snape was thankful the woman was away at some divination convention and would be away for a few days more.

The bearded wizard bounced on his heels. "Well, that's how it sounds. You do realize how few people marry within weeks of knowing someone. Perhaps it was love at first sight?" he asked slyly.

Snape glowered. "Albus, why are you so intent on romanticizing this?"

Dumbledore grinned knowingly, his eyes bright. "Because if it wasn't a romance, you wouldn't have married or you would have divorced by now." Severus's silence made Albus's eyes twinkle that much brighter.

Severus grimaced and turned back to the front gates. /Where the bloody hell is he? I'd rather not have to kill Albus and hide his body./

A loud pop made Severus narrow his eyes as he saw a figure apparate onto the road about 10 feet away from the gates. Dumbledore adjusted his glasses and Severus wondered just what charms Albus had on those things. He knew Dumbledore didn't need them.

"I'm not late, am I?" called the man as he headed toward the two professors. Albus observed the wizard who could only be Severus's husband.

The man was tall, standing at Severus's height, with short and slightly shaggy, black hair. He had a light tan that could be seen despite the white robes he wore. The robes went up to the man's neck and were buttoned only at the top, over his throat. He had a white button down shirt beneath it along with a pair of khaki trousers and black shoes.

When the stranger came closer, Dumbledore realized that most would see the man as handsome. He was younger than Severus's but not by much. Perhaps their age difference was only by a few years.

The final thing Albus noticed were the dark green eyes. The Headmaster was momentarily concerned about Severus's choice of husband until he noticed that it was only because of his glasses that he could see the green. The man's eyes were nearly black otherwise.

As Severus's husband came to stand before the potions master, Albus was struck by the strong contrast between the two men. Severus in black and his spouse in white was enough to catch anyone's attention but the other physical contrasts were striking as well.

"No," Severus replied. He looked pleased to see his husband. The small curve at the edge of his lips being a telltale sign for Dumbledore. "You actually made it with a few minutes to spare."

"And you said that I'm always late," the man in white said teasingly.

"You are always late." Severus stated with an amused look.

"Yes, well, you know how those idiots work. They couldn't walk straight without asking me how to do it." Annoyance and frustration were clear in his smooth voice. He turned and smiled at Albus. "You must be Headmaster Dumbledore." He stretched out a hand saying, "Severus has told me all about you."

Dumbledore adopted a false look of worry as they shook hands. "Oh dear. That means that I'll have a great deal to clear up." Severus scoffed as his husband laughed with the elder wizard. "However, I'm afraid that Severus has been rather close mouthed about you. I don't even know your name."

Strangely, the man didn't look the least bit surprised. He simply turned and gave Severus an exasperated look. "You love doing things the hard way, don't you?"

"Hard for you perhaps. This way, I won't have to explain anything." Severus and his husband smirked at each other before the man in white shook his head and turned back to Albus.

"My name is Alexius Agathon. A pleasure to meet you, Headmaster."

"Please, my boy, call me Albus." Dumbledore found himself instantly liking Agathon.

"Only if you promise to call me Alex, Albus."

Moments later, the three men were headed back toward the school. Alex appeared to be quietly awed. His eyes were a little wide but that was all that could be seen of his surprise. Albus thought it curious that he would hide most of his emotion. Alex was like Severus in that regard. He appeared to be pleasant but Albus wondered how much of that was true.

"So, Alex, where did you and Severus meet?"

"Albus!" snapped Severus as Alex chuckled in response to his husband's irritation. "He's not here five minutes and you're already interrogating him."

"I don't mind, Severus. He's naturally curious about me." The two men stared at each other for a second more before Severus nodded with a small scowl.

/Ah. A good sign if they can communicate silently./ Albus wondered if he should leave the two of them alone. It had been a week since Severus had arrived and the newlyweds probably felt too embarrassed to reach out to each other in front of him. Severus had never enjoyed public displays of affection.

"We met at a small pub that I own in Greece. Severus was looking for a quiet dinner and I was in the only quiet area we had open that night. Things had gotten a bit noisy with the potions conference. We shared a table."

"You're Greek?" asked Albus, a little surprised. Despite the tan, he wouldn't have thought Alex to be foreign. "You sound-,"

"British? I am, but I moved to Crete."

"The two of you must to have taken to each other rather well. Severus surprised all of us with the announcement of his marriage this morning."

Again, Alex didn't appear to be surprised that Severus waited to tell anyone. "We both admit it was rather fast but we're both happy." He turned to Severus and received a nod in agreement.

"How long do you intend to visit Hogwarts, Alex? Do you have plans to stay in Hogsmeade?" Albus had to ask. Spouses weren't allowed to live at the school unless both were on staff but Madam Pince's husband lived in Hogsmeade to be close to his wife.

Severus and Alex shook their heads. "He has a business to care for Albus, and our home is in Greece." The Headmaster didn't miss the way Alex's eyes brightened when Severus said 'our home'.

"If you don't mind, Albus, I'll be visiting every other weekend if possible."

Albus smiled. "We would be delighted to have you." Because it was obvious to Albus that Alex and Severus made each other happy.

/Harry, my boy, you missed out on true happiness with Severus./ Albus fell back a bit as the two men started talking, forgetting everything outside of each other. /But perhaps it is for the best./

TBC