Disclaimer: South Park and all its characters is copyright Matt Stone, Trey Parker, and whoever else owns it or whatever. That means, not me.

Authors Notes:

OMG HOW FITTING

Chapter 13 ends this story… yes, yes, you may all fall sobbing and weeping to the floor now… XD j/k

ANYWAYS I will have more comments, reviews, and such at the end of the chapter. After the long last chapter, this one seems a little short… Oo


Title: Vanilla Blue

Author: Zoshi the Confused
Rating: PG-13 to M (eventually)
Category: South Park

Genre: General/Romance

Contains: (or will contain) Violence, Adult Situations, Swearing, SHOUNEN-AI - BOYLOVE


The log they sat on was old, half-buried in the ground beneath them. Kenny sat staring up at the sky above them, knee-to-knee and shoulder-to-shoulder with Kyle. He tried to believe in the sunlight shining down from the cloudless blue above, tried to believe in the warmth and the light it presented, but it wasn't easy. Too many thoughts were on his mind. Too many things were making it difficult to focus.

"I didn't know your parent's knew…" Kyle said, his hand on Kenny's knee. The blonde could feel his restless fingers moving across it absently. Kyle was just as lost in his own thoughts as Kenny.

"No one else needed to know about it…" Kenny replied, sighing and turning to look at the redhead. "They get enough shit for just being poor."

Kyle nodded in understanding, but still looked thoughtful. Kenny frowned.

"You know, they scream a lot and shit but they're really good people," He said, thinking that maybe that was what was worrying him. Kyle looked at him, grinning, then laughed.

"Trust me, I know…" He said, "If they weren't, I wouldn't be here right now…"
He nodded to Kenny's house standing closer to the train tracks. The back door opened, and Kenny's mom chased out a black and white cat that went streaking off towards the forest. Seeing the two, she waved to them before going back inside.

"What's going to happen now?" Kenny asked after a moment, staring off in the direction of the house but seeing something totally different. Kyle shifted next to him, nervously maybe.

"I'm…" He started, then stopped. Kenny didn't look at him, thinking that maybe if he didn't, then the words Kyle was about to say wouldn't come out. Unfortunately, the fates weren't with him today anymore than they ever were, and the words forced themselves out of the unwilling redhead. "I'm going to New York for the summer."

Kenny closed his eyes, his fingers clenching in the fabric of his jeans. He felt Kyle shift next to him again, pressing his side closer.

"New York?" He said finally, opening his eyes and turning to look at Kyle.

"Yeah…" Kyle sighed, "My mom wanted to send me to my cousins in Israel, but…"

"What? With all the fucking suicide bombers and, and fucking missiles, and-" Kenny growled. Kyle put a hand on his arm to stop him, and a slight grin flickered over his lips.

"Yeah, that's what my dad said." He looked away for a moment, then looked back at Kenny.

"So. So they're sending you to fucking New York for the summer…" Kenny growled some more, but was keeping his anger in check. There wasn't any use for letting it get the best of him now, anyway. It wasn't Kyle's fault this shit was happening. "Isn't that.. That's fucking… shit, what's the word? Its… cliché, that's what it fucking is, its fucking cliché."

Kyle laughed, so suddenly and so out-of-nowhere that Kenny nearly jumped off the log in surprise.

"What the fuck? What's so fucking funny?" Kenny frowned, watching as the redhead bent double in his laughter.

"Shit, you're so right Kenny…" Kyle shook his head, wiping the back of one hand over his eyes. "So fucking right… its fucking cliché…"

"It is." Kenny said, still slightly unsure just what the hell had happened. Kyle sat up again, but although he had been laughing, the lingering traces of his smile were quickly fading from his face. He gazed at Kenny, gazed, Kenny admitted it was a gaze, because he was looking in his eyes as if he was trying to read all his secrets, and trying to expose all of his own. Kenny felt himself go a little cold, because he had the feeling that a gaze like that couldn't lead to anything good. Good gazes were the ones where you both grinned at each other, or just stared at each other for long minutes, for no other reason than you could. This gaze was of the other kind, the desperate kind, where the person who was doing the gazing knew they had to say something important, but didn't know if their words would be enough to explain it, to explain everything.

"Kenny, Kenny, I swear, I swear to fucking everything, that I'll call, and I'll write, whenever I can," Kyle said, his voice fast and low and serious and sounding like he was just about to embark on a journey to the top of Kilimanjaro. "I swear, I fucking swear, Kenny… I…"

"Hey, hey…" Kenny twisted around and grabbed Kyle by the shoulders, not liking the way Kyle's eyes had gotten all desperate and dark looking. He leaned in a little closer, just a little.

"Kyle… its… I know, I know its gonna be hard…" He rubbed Kyle's shoulders, but the redhead didn't seem to be relaxing any. "I'll be here… okay? I'm still gonna be here when you get back, so don't worry…"

Kyle put his arms around Kenny's waist, drawing him even closer, so close their foreheads and noses touched. He seemed a little calmer than a few moments ago, but he still looked into Kenny's eyes with that desperation, that… that pleading, that had been in them.

"I'll try, Kenny… I'll try…" He swallowed hard, closing his eyes. "I don't know what they'll let me do… You know how my mom is, she'll probably be checking anything that I want to send out, or, or she'll be listening in when I use the phone, or something, fuck, she'll figure something out… But I'll try, I really will…"

"Shhh…" Kenny brushed back a few stray curls off of Kyle's forehead. He was scared, too scared to try to say anything at that moment. Fuck, everything was going wrong. Everything always went wrong for him, anyway. He should be used to it. But this time, this time he thought… well, it didn't matter anymore. Someone out there just didn't like him too much, it seemed. He only wished they wouldn't fucking toy around with Kyle too. God, Satan, whatever Powers That Be, should know better than that. They shouldn't punish anyone just for loving someone else.

Unless, of course, all those stupid things they preached about in Church were right. Unless God really was ready to punish two guys for getting together. Kenny frowned, pulling closer to Kyle. He felt the redhead shudder, wrap his arms even tighter around him. Kenny had met God on more occasions than he'd wanted to, really. But God never seemed as rigid and strict as people made him out to be. Besides, he doubted that a being that was supposedly the center of all goodness in the universe would be able to hate anyone for something as stupid as this.

The wind blew in suddenly, harshly, and the branches of the trees behind them rustled. The wind roared between the trunks, an ominous sound, and Kenny buried his face in Kyle's shoulder, hoping to ignore it. It was making him feel cold again, even though the sun shone bright. It was making his stomach clench and his breath come ragged and fast.

Shit, he hated moments like these. Hated moments where that feeling would come creeping on him, a feeling he couldn't even begin to describe. Each time it was different, each time it left a different taste in the back of his mouth. Sour, bitter, sometimes he could feel the bile rise in the back of his throat so quick he'd barely have time to choke it back. Either way, it all pointed to the same thing. The foreboding wouldn't leave him.

"Kyle…"

Kenny jerked, his mom's voice pulling him out of his thoughts. Kyle's arms clenched around him, he felt the redhead go rigid.

"Kyle, yer… yer fathers here…"

Kenny managed to twist a little in Kyle's hold, just enough to see his mom stand on the back porch for a moment, uncertain, then turn and head back into the house again.

"I… I have to go…" Kyle's voice dropped to a whisper, and he pulled away slightly. Kenny's hands clenched spasmodically in the fabric of his jacket. He looked at Kyle, panic suddenly rushing through him.

"Kyle…" He started, his voice cracking. He tried again, but he couldn't get more words out. "Kyle…"

"I'll… I'll come back before I have to leave…" Kyle said, his voice low. "I will."

Kenny knew it was a lie. It was a lie, but not because Kyle wouldn't come. Kenny knew the fucking bitch that was his mom wouldn't let him come back. He clung to Kyle, desperately, awfully aware that this would be the last time he saw him for months.

"Kyle, don't…" His voice shook, and he pulled closer, trying to get it to stop. "Don't forget me Kyle…"

"Kenny…" Kyle's voice was filled with shock. "Do you think I'd…? Never, shit, I'd never do that… I love you Kenny, I love you…"

The words burned on Kenny's tongue. They ached in his heart. But he opened his mouth and nothing came out. He was failing, again. Just like before, just like every time before. He could try to force them, he could make them come out, because he knew they were there, knew they were real because he could feel it.

Kyle smiled softly, seeing the struggle in his eyes, seeing how desperately he tried to make the feelings into something tangible. He curled his fingers in Kenny's hair, leaned in closer.

"I know…" He whispered, and Kenny knew that it was true, but it didn't help. The wind was picking up, blowing harder around them. It was chill, cutting through their clothes, and the air smelled metallic. Desperately, he pulled Kyle closer, kissed him, felt Kyle clutch him, felt the need in his touch that matched his own. For a moment, they managed to lose themselves, to let go of everything and live in the feeling, in the warmth.

Their kiss began with the sun shining, but ended with sunlight fading. Dark clouds raced across the sky, blotting the sun out and darkening the world around them. Kenny clutched his arms to himself, watching as Kyle walked slowly down to the road. He stopped often, turning around to look back even long after it got hard to see.

The rain was falling hard by the time the car roared down the road. Kenny sat, unmoving, unseeing, feeling the water soak through his hoodie and shirt, feeling it run down his back and soak through his shoes. He shuddered, fighting desperately against he feeling of loss that surrounded him, bore into him, clawed through him.

It was going to be a long, dark summer.


THERE IS A SEQUEL!!: Mosey on over to my profile and check out Lovesong for more kxk goodness! : D

ENDNOTES:

First off, I was gagging during this chapter, just to let you know. It was hard. It was probably the hardest chapter to right, especially since I'd just watched Tristan and Isolde a few days ago and that horrible "Romantic-Epic-Love-Story" thing was trying to force its way through… XX It made me want to shoot myself. I liked the movie, because Tristan dies XD Meaning, I like the fact that it ends all angst-like, but the amount of …ick… if you get a bad feeling in your stomach when reading mushy stuff, then you know what I'm talking about… XD

ANYWAYS: Yes, I know, I set up the sequel like WOAH, eheheh… "Zo, do any of your stories ever end happy?" ummm…. No. XD

THANKS TO:

Die.darling: I'm glad you like it! There is much love being sent your way.

Karmaholic07: I am a rabid KxK OTP person thingermabob, so keep your eyes peeled because there will definitely be more chaptered KxK stories coming from me.. XD
UM… what was that? Happy ending? Hmmm? I didn't hear anything about that…. eheh, but thank you thank you thank you! LOVE.

Wannaseemymoon: LOVE LOVE LOVE And yes, I hate Kyle's mom. I've known mom's like her, and they've ruined many things. ARGH eheheh…

Kennylover98: No trivia this time… ): sadness, but there will be more trivia someday… eheh… AHAHAH! You win 100000 points and a bajillion pounds of Cheesy Poofs! YAY! XD Hee, I love Kenny's parents, and Kenny's dad.. Well, I've known people like that, to put it simply… ahah… LOVE

Patsu: YES! I love to shock and amaze. Or maybe just… I don't know, I don't know what I'm writing… XD LOVE Thank you!

BeeBop: Thank you for being an awesome reviewer! I'm happy you liked the story and that you kept coming back for more… LOVE

JitterbugCG: Thank you for your reviews! They made me happy, and they sure as hell helped me write chapters knowing that I was making YOU happy… XD I try to write it so that its real, which is difficult. This chapter bordered on being a teenage love story book thingy, but the cliché… at least they realize its cliché… heh… Thank you again! LOVE LOVE

Victoria Faust: Thank you! Your reviews helped me too, and I was always happy to hear what you thought about the chapters. The sequel is pretty much a given at this point, I think… heh… but I'm glad to hear that you'd like to read it! And I hope it doesn't take me forever to get it going… LOVE LOVE

Solitaires Mornie: Thank you for your reviews and for coming back to read more! Gah, I'm glad to hear you like my characterization, I always have a hard time deciding whether I'm going about it right… XD OH AND YES Kenny speaking Poor made me happy for some strange reason. I always thought he spoke a little too non-poor on the show, those few times he spoke, and I decided that he was just trying to talk like the others, because if he spoke all poor like then he'd just be made fun of even more than he already was. Or something… that's what I was thinking at least… XD
And gay and bi are different, really. They're both based on the way the neurological pathways in the brain work, and stuff like that, but inside what really matters is who you love and who loves you? Yeah? sigh For some people its just too difficult to understand. We need more people like Kenny's sister in the world…

Ren85: I was won over by Kenny's parents when he died and they had his ashes in the urn with his picture on the table. I decided then and there, totally, for once and for all, that no one who didn't give a shit about their son would go to the lengths of making a little shrine for him. They're rough around the edges, and they fight and shout, but they're just put in a bad position, and shit happens. But inside I honestly think they're better people than everyone makes them out to be…

Teehee, how did Sheila find out? That'll be answered.. Later… XD And Kyle's just confused about the fact that Kenny's parents know, and that no one else does. And that Kenny's dad doesn't seem to be mad about it, but more mad about the fact that Sheila accused Kenny of being gay. Yeah. digs through thoughts and notes Yeah, that's it.

Well, I sorta set it up for a sequel, although I guess it could end here. But I don't think anyone would be totally happy if it ended here… XD Although I like endings like this, so… but I'm just a weirdo… ha.. Thanks for reading and reviewing! LOVE TO YOU!

Gman2006: Thanks for reviewing! LOVE LOVE LOVE

Inuyashaluver52293: Thanks for the reviews during the fic! They were awesome! LOVE LOVE LOVE

Sakura Ryokan: Thanks for your review!

Natalie: THANK YOU!

Donna of the Grey: Thank yous! LOVE

Briefs Hikaru: LOVE

Ms. Horrorshow: THANK YOU! LOVE

If I missed anyone, I'm sorry! I LOVE YOU ALL! YES! EVEN THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T REVIEW!

OH OH HEY! How about this? The more reviews I get asking for a sequel, the sooner I'll get it up! HM?! IT'S THE LAST CHAPTER PEOPLE, PLZ REVIEW ME AND BOOST MY EGO! Its been crying in the corner lately, I've been lacking inspiration…):

LOVE TO YOU ALL

See you guys next time,

Zoshi