The Hitachiin Dolls
Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran or the You Do Doll idea.
Dedications: To all of my readers, with love. Special dedication to valcreative, for being there to support me all these times.
It was early in the morning of April 15, 2007 when the worst thing imaginable happened. A disgruntled fangirl had attacked Ouran High School, looking for the Hitachiin brothers in hopes for using them for her twincest fantasies. She was apprehended by the Ootori Secret Police and has been questioned and released, providing that she has been served with a restraining order stating that she cannot come within three hundred feet within the school grounds. Her name is Mary Sue, and she is responsible for the catastrophe that will befall the students at Ouran.
"It has come to my attention that two of the You Do Dolls have gone missing. To be exact, the Hitachiin dolls have gone missing." Announced Kyouya to the entire Host Club. "We all know who is responsible for this. Mary Sue is angry with us for slapping a restraining order on her so she is retaliating by making the twins do perverted things to each other." He sighed and pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. "On the day we have a school assembly to promote our new line of Haruhi Memorabilia."
The twins looked at each other with fear and said "Well then we have to cancel the assembly!" suggested Hikaru. "It is costing us millions of yen to erase people's memories from those stupid dolls!"
"Which is why we were holding the assembly in the first place. We will not cancel, but I have already dispatched the Ootori Secret Police to search the surrounding city."
"By the time they find the girl, it might be too late!" Hikaru roared. "She could have us groping each other in front of the entire school!" He got up and shook Kyouya "Or worse! She could make me get my wee wee in Kaoru's ass in seconds!"
Kaoru looked up with a raised eyebrow and said "And what makes you think you are the seme?" He walked over to his brother and said "Just because the ladies prefer when you are the seme while acting does not mean that you are in actuality the seme."
Hikaru's eye twitched when he heard his little brother say that and he smiled and said "Oh ho ho dear brother, it is I who is the seme. You are the uke as you always have been and always will be." He patted his brother on the head gently and walked away.
They were all intrigued to see that this was not going to be a refreshing brother fight, but an actual one. Kyouya, Hunny, Mori, Haruhi, Tamaki and Renge were sitting on the red couch eating popcorn watching the show. Kyouya had a video camera with him to document the sexiness of the twins for future generations.
"If we were a gay couple you'd so be my bitch, Hikaru!" Kaoru blurted out.
Hikaru looked up from the inaccurate school newspaper with a scowl. "What?" he asked, practically throwing the paper on the table with the thud of his fist.
Kaoru liked the feeling of sticking it to his brother, so with a coy smile, he said "You heard me. BITCH." Placing much emphasis on the word "bitch".
"I'd love to see you try!" said Hikaru, stunned that his normally calm brother would say those words. He was blushing from shyness and anger, but he could not tell which one yet.
"I can put you over this table and have my way with you!" he pointed down to the table.
"Whenever you're ready, UKE BOY!" Hikaru tempted him to do his worst,
Kaoru leapt up, and jumped on top of his brother, who was very surprised that Kaoru would actually do something like this. Kaoru then lifted him up and sat him on the table. He then forcefully kissed his lips, and proceeded to lift up his uniform to reveal his smooth skin. He lifted his brother's uniform too and made his tongue lick the crevices of the chest muscles.
The other hosts looked at them with drool dripping from their mouths and blood dripping from their noses like rivers. Poor Renge was hospitalized due to massive blood loss. Hunny stopped looking and started making more popcorn with massive amounts of butter.
Unbeknownst to the host club, Mary Sue was not making them do this, but she was filming it for the entire school to see. She had hooked up a computer video camera set up on Kyouya's laptop and she could see what was going on in the third music room. It was also hooked up to a projector and was being aired on a big screen in the auditorium. The fangirls were going crazy in there and they all wanted a front row seat to the best show in town.
Kyouya had seen her motion him to the hallway, and he had to settle a deal with her. "Okay, I gave you the dolls and revoked the restraining order; now get out of here before the superintendent sees you." He pushed her to the door leading to the Black Magic Club's trap door to the commoner streets below. Thank you for risking your life to come here and make profit for the Host Club. These tapes will be sold for millions! He thought to her as if she could hear what he was saying. Then he remembered that he had not taken away the dolls from her before showing her out the door.
Mary Sue had fun watching the twincest, but now was time to play. She grabbed the dolls and laughed evilly. She grabbed the one labeled "Kaoru" and whispered something in its ear She had removed the doll's pants as she did this and her eyes gleamed.
The tingling feeling had come over Kaoru and out of nowhere, he said the most obscene thing that had ever escaped his lips "I WANNA MAKE LOVE TO YOU WOMAN!" this was said directly to his brother, and his arms make an uncontrollable motion to his pants.
"What are you doing Kaoru?!" said Hikaru as he scrambled to collect their clothes. "Oh damn that girl found the dolls! She's controlling you!" He tackled Kaoru and pinned him to the ground. "Get a hold of yourself!" he smacked Kaoru in the face hard.
Kaoru woke up and kicked Hikaru off of him. "What the hell is your problem?!"
"First you challenge me for the title of seme, then you acted like a horny little teenager and now you act as if none of that happened!" He got up and saw all the swooning girls around them. Kyouya you bastard. He thought as he took his brother and went home.
Mary Sue had seen that Kaoru had broken the spell she had on him and wanted to make him pay. She wanted to make Hikaru pay too for helping him break the spell. She held the dolls side by side facing each other and made the one marked "Hikaru" close his fingers around the other's neck. She would also use Hikaru to talk directly to Kaoru.
Hikaru's hands and fingers went straight for Kaoru's throat, and he squeezed on it with all of his might. "I am not doing this, Kaoru!" He felt the tingle in his head and Mary Sue spoke through him. "So did you really think you could escape me? Now you both will pay with your lives. You by strangulation, and this one by execution. Maybe you will have time in the afterlife to spend together getting to know…" she stopped midsentience and Hikaru regained control of his body and let go of Kaoru. With tears welling in his eyes he sobbed "I am so sorry Kaoru! I did not mean it!"
"Really?" Kaoru said sarcastically catching his breath.
"Kaoru! I swear it was not me!"
"You just wanted to get me back for trying to be the uke!"
"No! Kyouya had lifted the restraining order to make money off of us in a porn video!"
Kaoru had realized that he was probably right and he said "I am sorry for not believing you, brother." He bowed his head in his brother's presence. He then said with a laugh "I bet we will have enough money left over from the mass memory wipe to buy Haruhi some of mother's swimsuit designs." He thought of the one that was just a bunch of string and blushed.
The dead body of Mary Sue lay on the pavement, still spraying blood from the wound to the carotid artery. Kyouya had stood behind her with a machete that he had bought from a Jason convention in America when he last went. He had in his hands the cursed dolls, but they were inactive from the moment after she had died. Mori and Hunny were behind him, waiting to dispose of the body in meat pies, Sweeny Todd style.
Nekozawa had been waiting for them in the Black Magic Club and he had decided that enough was enough. He would deactivate them once and for all. He had made the circle and chanted the words and all the magic had disappeared from the dolls. The Host Club then took them out back and burned them into nothingness. All the memories were erased, and with the dolls gone for good the old times could resume and old friendships renewed.