Title: School and Skirts
Author: ferretgirl-1124
Pairing(s): Eventual SpeedyxAqualad, RobinxStar, BBxRaven
Genre: Humor, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): Slash, small strange weasel like creatures, homophobia, cross dressing, promiscuity
Disclaimer: I may not own them, but they do like me better then DC, so ha!
Word Count: 1,074

Summary:After discovering that HIVE is being rebuilt under the cover of an all girls school, the Titans decide to send some one undercover. Unfortunately, only one person is up to it, and this will not be thier easiest mission.

A/N: Thanks to a stupid-to-the-point-of-being-surreal move made by my schools administration, I am once again inspired to write comedy. Apparently school can be of use. That was a shock.

"Y'know Grace…I know we haven't been friends long, but I wish you had told me about your boyfriend." The brunette shifted slightly and sighed, wincing. Nothing was as bad as having your butt fall asleep; there are certain places that just shouldn't tingle, and that was one of them. "I had to listen to my mom bitch about my brother bitching for three hours."

On the other side of the door that Caroline was currently leaning against, Grace sunk down in the tub, flushing. After her horrific 'confession', Roy had stuck around just long enough to make sure Alex was gone before vanishing, still muttering obscene and unpleasant promises under his breathe. She had no idea who the threats were directed towards, but she was glad he had left before he decided to go through with one.

As soon as they were gone, she had fled, and hadn't left the bathtub since. At last count, it had been five hours, and she had no intention of leaving anytime soon, no matter how many times her roommate threatened to feed her fish to the ferret.

It would be another two hours until she was convinced to get out, and then only because of strange noises emanating from the room, which turned out to be nothing more then Caroline attempting to study as the ferret chewed on her toes. Grace decided that day that no matter how dangerous they were, villains this lame could not be taken seriously, and if this was the future of evil, they had nothing to worry about.

It had been two hours since Speedy had returned, and Bumblebee was getting worried and fairly pissed off. The archer had spent a good portion of that time pacing through the Tower, snapping at the twins until they broke down into tears and a torrent of Spanish curses, and then, as if torturing his teammates had worn him out, the redhead disappeared into his room; how he managed to slam the automatic door was a mystery, but she was sure it would mean more work for her.

Apparently, his mission hadn't gone well.

Of course, this would have been understandable if he had been infiltrating the H.I.V.E. or had been working to stop one of Slade's nefarious plots, but considering his mission had been to visit a friend at school, failing would be fairly pathetic.

Honestly, though, he wasn't acting like he had failed, or like Aqualad was in danger; he just seemed pissed off at the world in general. Now, when Speedy got his panties in a bunch, she usually left him alone, having realized long ago that it was easier to let him work through whatever it was that had offended him. But this time was different. This time, the safety of a teammate was in question, and she wasn't going to let this go.

The call came in that evening. For a good minute, before it was discovered that Bumblebee was simply laughing too hard to speak clearly, Cyborg fiddled with the controls, convinced that the strange noises were caused by static or interference.

"Spe…" Peal of laughter, "Rob, you," Another burst of laughter, now joined with distinctly Speedy-style angry muttering and the sound of keys being tapped. An instant later, the two Easties appeared on the giant screen in the living room, which blocked the movie the Wests had been watching, but didn't turn it off, causing an interesting mixture of dialogue.

Cyborg was the first to speak, his lone eyebrow arching slightly. "Bee, what's goin' on?"

"Hahaha! S-sparky, y-you'll never believe this…" The girl leaned against a nearby table, holding her sides and laughing, tears streaming down her cheeks. Speedy's eye twitched dangerously as he looked away from his hysterical leader; he was scowling darkly, but in contrast to Bumblebee's laughter it looked about as threatening as a ten-week-old kitten, and the runt of the litter at that.

"Dammit, it's not funny!"

"What is not funny?" Starfire leaned over Robin's shoulder, so that her chest pressed against his back, effectively distracting him from the conversation, and peered at the girl on the screen. "Has something happened to Aqualad?"

"Hey, I'll hold him, and you punch! Hehheh. …Or not…For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain!"

The West Titans ignored the movie and the confused looks from their teammates, still waiting for their explanation. Bumblebee took a deep breath, and, withintermittent giggling, explained the situation.

The original Titans stared at her blankly.

"I saw that…"

As per usual, it fell upon Beast Boy to ask the articulate question that they were all thinking. "…What?"

"You heard me." The dark skinned leader grinned and leaned back against a near-by table. "'Grace' has a boyfriend now, so her 'brother' won't need to visit her anymore."

Speedy twitched visibly. "No, no, no. 'She' and I are going to break up. There is no way in hell I'm pretending to be fish boy's boyfriend! I'm not gay!"

"Obviously…" Raven crossed her arms, a small smirk radiating pure evil just barely visible in the shadows under her hood. "Since you have a steady girlfriend now." The archer glowered at her, and her smirk widened slightly, "I think this will work well…It will keep people from wondering why her brother visits but her parents don't, and it will keep the visiting boys from bothering her…"

"I'm not dating Aqualad!"

"You like him, don't you?"

"W-what?! No!" Speedy screeched in response to the movie, and everyone stared at him. A few seconds passed, and then realization struck; he flushed and gritted his teeth, hands inching towards his bow. He was going to murder whoever had picked out the damn movie, and he was going to enjoy it.

"Uh…huh." Robin edged away from Starfire slightly and shook his head to clear it, then grinned, driving the others to the conclusion that the masked boy had picked up some sadistic tendencies from his time with Slade. "I agree with Raven. It's more convenient, too; it means I won't have to travel across the country every week."


Bumblebee pushed her ranting teammate back slightly and smiled. "Then it's agreed…from now on, Grace will get visits from her boyfriend."

After agreeing, the screen flickered back to the movie, but not before they got a clear view of the hand gestures Speedy was using to convey his mood. The five teenagers moved back to the couch, laughing helplessly.

A/N: Well, it's short, but it refused to let me add more. Trust me, I've been trying. For months. This is where it wanted to end for now. No worries though; coming up we will have awkward school dances, strange dreams, unexpected confessions, and a strip scene. That's right, a strip scene.

Oh! And if you can tell me what movie they were watching, you'll get a cameo in the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed!