Fandom: View Finder Crack Comedy
Main Pairing: Asami x Takaba
Disclaimer: Unbetaed. The legal rights to these very fine characters belong to Yamane Ayano.
Summary: Takaba Akihito wins a year supply of Pocky…
AN: This idea just hit me and I couldn't stop. I hope my brand of humor will work here and I definitely hope I didn't offend anyone with this fic. x(--)x
At first, entering the contest had started out to be joke on Kou's and Takato's part when they challenge Akihito to enter the billboard advertisement contest for Glico Pocky. They had jokingly commented when the commercial for the contest appeared on the television one night that here was Akihito's golden opportunity to shine. It was his calling since he loves to eat Pocky so much.
Akihito had brushed off the joke easily enough, until that is they used the 'C' word on him. He had turned deadly silent then before his aura flared to life. Akihito immediately rose to his feet and raised a taut fist in front of them.
'I'll show you!' He had vowed then.
They thought he was joking in return; little did they know what they had started.
For two whole weeks, Akihito barricaded himself in his apartment drafting one idea after another. A small mound of paper wads had build around the waste basket by his desk in the beginning, and then grew to mountainous proportions that piled high from one end of the room to the other by the end of the two weeks. Yet, Akihito couldn't think of a single idea that was a 'sure win'.
It was a day before the deadline to post-date the entries was to be concluded that Akihito had finally decided to approach this contest with a different angle. Today was going to be his lucky break. Out of sure desperation, he picked up one of his beloved cameras for the first time in two weeks and exited his apartment. The door to his loft swung open as the hinges squeaked in opposition. Wads of paper escaped to freedom and rolled down the hallway.
Like a caveman stepping out and seeing sunlight for the first time since woken from hibernation, Akihito grunted and shielded his eyes from the bright spring morning sun. When his eyes finally adjusted, he set off on a sprint but only to trip over his own paper litter on the floor. With a loud smack, he landed with one knee on the floor and his face planted against the opposite railing.
Several minutes later, he set himself back to the upright position while glancing around suspiciously. Satisfied that no one had witnessed his embarrassing debut from his apartment room, Akihito took his time and checked his digital camera for any damages. Seeing that there was none, he took off again only to slow down to a crawl as he hobbled along. He was still determined to get that winning photo no matter the consequences.
It was five hours before midnight when the photographer returned home with a maniacal look upon his face. The glint within his eyes never dulled as he uploaded the pictures he's taken from his camera to his computer. He quickly scrolled down the hundred of files he had taken and picked out his favorite frame to Photoshop. Akihito set off to work.
With an hour left of the day, he submitted his entry on the Glico website and was confident that he was going to win.
A month later, his prize packages arrived by the truckload. Boxes upon boxes piled up to the ceiling in his living room from one end to the other, then well into his bedroom, bathroom and darkroom. Feeling tremendously accomplished, Akihito stood on his sofa (it was the only space open for him to stand really) and admiringly gazed at all the deliciously, lovely flavors he had won. He was debating between the strawberry and the chocolate flavors, but noticed the special green tea flavors and then the red bean and the taro and the…
Torn between all the variety, Akihito ran both hands through his hair (causing the light brown strands to stand out on end) before he decided logically that he needs to create a path to the bathroom since he'll need to use it eventually. So with that method decided, he began eating and eating and eating…
Two weeks later, Kou, Takato and the gang showed up at his doorstep to congratulate him when they saw the winning billboard with his name on it. They hadn't heard from their friend in over a week and were surprised that Akihito didn't call them up and tell them of his accomplishment. Kou had joked that Akihito was probably too busy enjoying his spoils to bother and they all laughed at the idea.
They were dumbstruck by what they saw when Akihito squeezed himself through a slither of an opening through the front door and greeted them in the hallway. The boy looked about the same though perhaps a bit fuller, but then he was dressed in brown sweats from head to toe. But what was so frightening about his appearance was the fact that Akihito's once glowing pale silky skin (even his lady friends were jealous of) was splotched with acne from the tip of his hairline down to his neck from what they can see and there were crumbs visibly dotting his sweats.
His group of friends cringed at the sight and took an involuntary step backwards together. Surprisingly, whether it was a unanimous thought on their part or not, none of them commented on the obvious changes.
"Congratulations Akihito! The countrywide campaign just posted yesterday. We all saw your name on the billboards, man! How come you didn't tell us dude!?" chided Kou as he playfully punched Akihito on the arm. Funny, he thought. His hand seem to be absorbed then bounce off of his friend. Shaking that odd thought out of the way, Kou smiled widely before continued, "So how many boxes did you eat already, Akihito?"
The group all laugh when he blushed or they thought Akihito did since his friend was already red to begin with.
The photographer laughed along with them and joked wryly, "Oh, only a few. Heh heh heh. Sorry I didn't tell you guys. I didn't know until one day the prize showed up. Heh hehe. There was so much, I couldn't even find my phone."
Even though the group laughed good-naturedly, some of their eyes met and another unanimous thought seem to be shared. There was certainly a ring of truth to Akihito's words. And then, to their horror, their friend asked the unthinkable.
"Do you guys want some? I have more than enough. Here, let me get you some."
Akihito disappeared behind the door and closed it. A minute later, he returned with a huge unopened brown cardboard box with the logo Glico written across.
"Here you go guys!"
Takato and the others gawked at the amount presented to them. Several thoughts flashed through their minds, if this was one box size, how much does Akihito really have? And how much had their friend eaten already to have looked like that? They shuddered at the thought.
Akihito misinterpreted their look of disbelief and warmly offered, "It's not enough, here I'll bring out another box."
He moved to enter his apartment once more but all of his friend's interjection stopped him, "No!"
They all laughed nervously at their outburst and Takato spoke up for the rest, "Ah, that's okay. We don't really care for Pocky that much. Right, guys?"
They nodded their heads enthusiastically and commented in the sidelines on how they dislike the product in varying degrees.
Then Kou continued where Takato left off, "Er, we ah… have to go. Well, um… see ya!"
They began to walk off in quick steps but Akihito saw that they had forgotten about the box and called for them, "Hey, don't forget this!"
Kou turned around, grinned awkwardly at Akihito before he grabbed the box in a hurry. He then nod goodbye to his friend, returned back to the group and left.
Confused by their abrupt and odd behavior as well as the lack of invite to where ever they were going to, the photographer shrugged at the encounter altogether and went back into his apartment. He glided his way through the pathway he had made and took his seat back in front of the television. With a vanilla Pocky in his mouth and a PlayStation remote in his hand, what more can he ask. Akihito thought of what Takato had said and scoffed derisively at the idea. How can anyone not like Pocky?
He met said person a week later.
Asami had seen the same billboards and decided it was about time to have another visit with his pet. He didn't really need a reason but thought it would be amusing to see how the photographer had indulged his love for the confection.
He arrived at the door with two of his closest bodyguards posted at each end of the hallway. With his habitual smirk, amused eyes, and hanging cigarette in place, Asami raised a hand and knocked on the door. The witty greeting he planned never delivered as his cigarette fell to the floor when his jaw dropped open and a twitch appeared on his right eye instantly.
The yakuza stared in horror at the sight before him. His svelte exotic wildcat had turned into a pudgy acne polluted house kitten. It was disgusting.
"A—sami! What are you doing here!?"
Akihito hid his surprise (and delight though he would never admit to it) and opted to glare at the man before him while he fumed his usual tirade, "Well, whatever it is you want, I'm not in the mood!"
Asami's other eye twitched upon hearing that. He emitted a low snarl of disgust and yelled for both of his bodyguard's attention.
Not knowing what was happening, they came running down the halls with their guns drawn at the ready. Despite their training though, both Blondie and Glasses looked stricken upon recognizing their boss' pet. They can see why their boss was upset.
"You and you," Asami pointed at the two with a growl before he commanded, "I don't care how you do it, just get him into shape! As for these—"
The yakuza turned around, pointed to the boxes behind Akihito's head and said with cold clarity, "I don't care if you burn it, bury it, or dump it in the ocean, just get it out of my sight!"
With that said, he turned around and walk away without addressing the photographer.
Akihito stood there dumbstruck before he was rudely tossed over the towering Blondie's shoulder and was carried down the hall, following after Asami. The brunette released a long slew of curses when he heard Glasses from behind them giving instructions on the cell phone.
"It's me, I got a job for you to dispose of…"