Hey peoplez, here's something funny for ya to enjoy, hope you like it.

Disclaimer: (I hate doing these) I don't own Twilight, New Moon, any of the characters, or anything else Stephenie Meyer has created.


A Day As Emmett

Early Morning

Rosalie's so pretty…She's even prettier when she yells.

"Emmett, I said stop messing with my make-up!" Rosalie stormed into our room with a death glare plastered onto her face. "PUT. IT. DOWN."

"Okay, okay. But only if you kiss me."

She will so fall for it.

"Fine…" she mumbled as she angrily came to me and gave me a peck on the lips. "Now put my make-up back." She turned to walk out of the room.

She was almost completely out the door to our room when I accidentally let a giggle escape. She turned on me.

"What I so funny?!?!" She shot daggers at me with her eyes.

"Nothing, just thinking of some funny times."

She just had no idea what times…the time she ripped her pants doing splits in the yard…the time Edward dared her to try and suck the blood out of an empty water bottle, and she actually tried…the time Jasper and I corner her and Alice and did a make-over on them, turning them into little versions of us, with guy clothes and go so far as to draw tiny moustaches on them…

Yeah, those were some hilarious times…

Rosalie walked out of the room, obviously annoyed. When I knew she was a safe distance away (like down in the kitchen), I laughed uncontrollably. She didn't expect a thing.


Few minutes before Rosalie left the room…

On her first attempt to leave, when she turned around, I threw a thing of crushed purple eye shadow all over the back of her white sweater. When she was almost out the door, I had noticed the eye shadow on her sweater looked like a smiley face and giggled. I couldn't help it; it was sort of ironic because Rosalie doesn't smile a lot.


"EMMETT! Get down here now!"

Oops…she sounds really ticked off.

Later that day…

"Come on, Emmett. Alice and I are going shopping you are coming."

Uhh…I hate her, I love her, I hate her, I love her…I haven't decided which one yet.

"Okay, Pookie. When do we leave?" I asked her through clenched teeth.

"Now." She smiled at the strain in my jaw. "Don't forget to grab your costume!" she added victoriously.

"Okay…"

I've decided…I hate her.

Earlier when Rosalie yelled for me to come down…

"What did you do this for?!?!" she screeched, nearly shattering the windows. "Look at it, you've ruined it!"

"No, all you have to do is dye it purple, then it'll be like new…just a different color. Or, you could just buy a new one," I added quickly seeing the anger in her face intensify.

"Oh, I'll be buying a new one all right. ALICE! Come here!" Rosalie had a smirk on her face now. When Alice appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, she went to her and started whispering in her ear. Alice's face then went blank as she had a vision.

Uh oh, what's going on?

Alice's vision finished and she turned to me with a devilish smile.

"Oh, Emmett! You need your punishment now!" she and Rosalie cornered me by the stove and grabbed me. They called for Jasper and Edward to come and help.

"What?" Jasper asked with a grin. He must've felt the terror flowing through me…and that never happens.

"Oh, this'll be good," Edward said as he looked at Alice, obviously reading her mind. "I'll go get the make and the costume."

"What?" I was really scared now.

Make-up, costume, what do they need those for?

Then it dawned on me: They're giving me a makeover!!!! NOOO!!!!

Back to Rosalie, Alice, and Emmett shopping…

We walked through the mall slowly, stopping at every other store so I could do the third part of my punishment..

We had just stopped in front of Victoria's Secret when Edward said, "Go ahead, Emmett. Do your thing." He smiled, amused by what Rosalie and Alice had planned for my punishment.


The first part they did for my punishment was a makeover. They put make-up all over my face and gave me red lips. The second part was the costume they made me wear. It was a Cinderella dress with a matching tiara and shoes (heels, of course). The third part was that I had to sing a song of Rosalie's choice. Unfortunately, Rosalie couldn't choose just one song and was stuck between two. She finally decided that she thought one song wasn't enough and chose the two she was stuck between.


I walked over to the display window for Victoria's Secret and turned around to face all the curious shoppers and my siblings. I shot death glares at Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, and Edward, but they were all cracking up rolling on the floor. I sighed and began my "show."

"I'm a little tea pot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout…" I felt extremely stupid having to sing this song with the Cinderella costume and make-up on. After I finished that song, I moved onto the second one Rosalie chose for me to do. "My bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R! My bologna has a second name, it's M-A-Y-E-R! I love to eat it every day, and if you ask me I will SAY! 'Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!"

Finally, done.

I looked around at the other people shopping in the mall. They were all grabbing their stomachs and doubling over laughing. I looked for my siblings and found the same image.

"That…was…so… so…FUNNY!" Edward and Jasper gasped in unison. Something glinted from Edward's left hand: a video camera.

Oh. My. God. They got me on tape.

I stormed off to the car embarrassed. I'll never live another day without them not mentioning this.


When we got home, they were still laughing hysterically.

"I…I'm…sorry!" Alice said out of breath. "It's just so FUNNY!" She burst into another fit of laughing with Rosalie joining her.

"I hate you guys," I said going to my room (sadly, I shared it with Rosalie still).


I lay on my bed listening to the evil vampires downstairs rewind and play the tape of me doing my "show" over and over again. I could hear Carlisle and Esme laughing along with them.

Oh, I will get revenge. They haven't had to face the wraith of Emmett yet, but they will!

I rubbed my face as I thought of a way to get them all back. I pulled my hand away and yelled at what I saw: the damn make-up was still on my face!

"ROSALIE, GET UP HERE RIGHT NOW AND GET THIS MAKE-UP OFF ME!" I was angry. 'Is this a way to treat your husband?' I wanted to ask her.

"Sorry, Emmett. But your punishment isn't over yet. You've still got five more malls to perform at tomorrow." She giggled, trying to hold her laughter back. "Plus, tomorrow, Edward and Jasper are going to be joining you!"

"WHAT?!?!" Edward and Jasper cried simultaneously, all humor gone.


Hope you guys liked this! I enjoys writing. BTW, if you think I should continue on with it, jsut send me a messge or a review. R&R peoplz!

Any1there4me (the Jenn!)

shout out to katie who has sent me 3 reviews--thanks katie!!