Vodka, Swimsuits and Tattoos

"Years go by I'm lookin' through a girly magazine. And there's my homeroom angel on the pages in-between."

The Doctor was humming a tune and it was driving Rose mad.

They had just gotten back to the Tardis after a quick stop off in her time to visit her mum and see some of her friends. He'd been grinning at her ever since she came out of the bathroom at the pub and wouldn't tell her why. Then when they'd been walking home he started humming and despite it's extreme familiarity, she couldn't figure out the song. Finally she had to ask.

"Alright, I give up. What song is that?"

He smiled at her from behind the console but didn't answer. Just kept right on humming. She could hear it in her head, the words just out of her minds grasp. Little bits and pieces were coming together, but nothing substantial to give her the answer. Memory sold... Never-never land... And that incessant chorus of Na na nana nana that he just kept humming.

Suddenly she clicked her fingers and smiled. "Got it! Angel is a Centerfold, right?"

He nodded, then looked as if he was trying to hold back a smile. Then he snickered.


"Nothing." He turned away from her, feigning interest in one of the controls. It was obvious he was hiding something.

"No really, what?"

"It's nothing. Just... something Shireen showed me."

His coyness was rapidly becoming more annoying that the humming had been. "What was it?"

"Just a photo."

She waited for him to clarify. Thankfully she didn't have to wait long as he quickly caved.

"Of you... in a hot tub."

She looked at him in confusion for a moment, then froze, her face turning red when she recalled a certain night of a mix of vodka, swim suits and Shireen's new digital camera. "She didn't."

He raised his eyebrows teasingly.


"What?" He smiled at her. The perfect image of innocence.

"Which one did she show you?" Rose asked with a little trepidation. If she was lucky, Shireen had shown him one of her more decent poses.

"I told you. You were in a hot tub."

"Well, what was I wearing in it?"

His skin flushed but he didn't answer. She had a feeling that her fears over what he'd seen were about to be confirmed.

He swallowed hard. "Right. What were you wearing? ...nothing. Well, I say nothing, but you may have had socks on for all I know."

Rose nearly passed out from the blood rushing to her face and cheeks. How could her friend have done this to her? "Now look. We were just playing around, and she swore she wasn't gonna get them developed. Oh God, I can't believe she showed you." She buried her face in her hands in a futile attempt to hide. The Doctor grinned at her.

"What? There's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's not like you have some hideous scar or something. Although I never knew you had a tattoo."

"It was the one where you could see the tattoo?!" She was practically shrieking now. She turned away from him, muttering to herself. "What am I gonna do? I'll kill her. Yes, kill Shireen first..."

"Aw now, don't do that."

She turned to glare at him. "Why not?"

He looked away, not giving an answer.

"Doctor?" She had a warning tone in her voice that he thought it was best to heed.

"She... may have mentioned... having more to show me."

He took off running before Rose had a chance to react. She fought against her bodies desire to fall to the floor in embarrassment and took off after him.

"Doctor, you better be joking!" She could hear his footsteps echoing down the halls along with his voice.

"Why would I joke about that? Besides, I thought you'd be happy. She told me you wanted to be a model."

"What?" She rounded a corner and caught site of his ankle disappearing at the end of the corridor.

"Weren't you supposed to send them in to a magazine?"

"Shut up!"

"Honestly Rose. Here I thought you were a sweet little girl. Never knew you were the type."

"I'm not! Now shut up about it!"

"So where were you going to send them? Glamour?"

"I thought I told you to shut it."




"Doctor, that's not even funny!"

As she turned around the next corner she found him standing still, hands in his pockets and a casual smile on his face. She came to a stop just a few feet in front of him. "What are you grinning about?"

He shrugged, his smiled widening. "Nothing. Just a thought."

"Oh yeah? What's that." She crossed her arms and raised an eye brow, tell tale warning signs that his answer better be good.

"Well," he began, glancing off to the side. "It's just a good thing you didn't send those pictures in."

She raised both eye brows, waiting for his explanation.

"I mean, if you had, you'd be some famous model in Milan right now and I'd never have met you."

Immediately, all signs of anger drains from Rose's face and she smiled. "That… that's sort of sweet."

"Sweet? Yep, that's me. Sweet as candy. Sweet as honey. Sweet as, well, you get the point… I do mean was I said though. You really don't have to be embarrassed."

Rose scratched at her ear and looked away. "Yeah I do."


"Because it was you."

"Oh." The grin on his face fell just slightly and she immediately felt guilty.

"Not that I'm upset you saw or anything, just..."

"Just what?"


"Rose really." He stepped forward to look her in the eyes. She lowered her gaze to stare at the floor.

"It's just... I don't know how to say it." She looked up at him and smiled nervously. "I guess, I would have rather shown you my tattoo myself."

"Oh." It was a much happier 'oh' this time, and he smiled at the implication of her words. "Well, if that's all it is."

She smiled back at him, relieved that he had taken her somewhat-confession in stride. Then she got an idea. "I've gotten another one since then."

The Doctor raised his eyebrows in interest. "Oh really? Where?"

Rose's tongue appeared at the corner of her mouth as her smile broadened. "I guess you'll have to find out on your own without Shireen to help you."

"Can I take pictures?" He chanced a quick grin and took off running.

Rose gasped in mock horror and chased after him, laughing as he teased her all the way to her room.