The Secret Confessions of a Teenage Drama King.
Finally! I'm soooo happy that dad finally gave in and gave me this kawaii diary! (Or as he likes to call it, "journal." Ugh, he tried to make this dairy manly-sounding, but honestly, how can you make a frilly, sakura pink book manly? I mean, really!)
Anyhoo, today was a blah. First day at the Academy.
Father described it yesterday as, "a place of unimaginable pain and suffering, that will test your limits to the extreme." Helloo, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT GRADE SCHOOL HONOURABLE FATHER!!!! Gawsh.
So there I was, Itachi Uchiha, child prodigy, standing in front of my class, 1a, father and little brother beside me.
"Don't worry my son, if you happen to lose one of your limbs on your first day here, just know that I have insurance. We'll sue them for all they're worth..."
Snort. "Honourable father, how can I lose one of my limbs in a grade school classroom?"
Father sighed. "My son, you will find out soon. By the way, if you happen to come across a pink haired demon, run as fast as you can. Don't even try fighting back. (shiver.) Fighting will only make it want you more..."
Sometimes I wonder what my mother sees in dad.
Then I remember all the other idiots she could've picked, and I stop wondering and sigh with relief. I mean, imagine! If she picked someone stupid, I could've ended up talking to walls and naming my toes. (1)
"Nii-san be careful!" Sasuke looked at me adorably with his kawaii eyes. Awww...it's too bad Dad corrupted him with his evil bedtime storries of grade school. He could've turned out to be as awesome as moi.
"Don't worry bro, I'll be ok."
Sasuke smiled sweetly. "Itachi, when I grow up, I want to be just like you!"
So. Cute. Squee!
Father broke our brotherly moment. "Time to go Sasuke, mother wants you to help her bake cookies."
"Yay cookies! Bye 'tachi!"
As soon as they left, I walked inside the class...
...and entered Hades.
There were kids everywhere. Three were hanging from the ceiling, (Probably a Spiderman jutsu, it's really popular nowdays.), a group of them were fighting over the latest Yugioh card (Change Of Fart), five or so girls were gossiping in one corner, probably about the other group of girls that were gossiping in the other corner.
After watching the class coolly, I decided to take a seat. Not tooo far from the teacher, and not too close. Perfect. Just like me. :)
Several minutes later, the bell rang. Riiiing!
The class simmered down to a hushed chatter, and took their assigned seats.
A tall dark shape loomed over me. When I looked past the shadows, I saw the faint outlines of a face.
"How may I help you?" I mock-chirped.
Two circles on the shape's face sumersaulted. I think it was an attempted eye roll.
"For starters, you could get out of my desk."
"...Because." Another eye roll attempt.
At this point, the shape lost it's interest (or patience) in me, and turned it's attention to the female figure walking in. She was an adult, and looked like the kind of person who'd pick a fight with the most intimidating of drunks. She stood at the front of the class, confident. While she was glaring the class down, the dark shape took a seat at the back of the class. When the lady was done, she drew in a deep breath and screamed.
"LISTEN UP PUNKS!"
The idle talk ceased entirely.
"Good morning CLASS!"
"Good morning Miss Mitarashi."
Miss Mitarashi let out an aggravated groan. "I thought I told you brats to call me Anko. Let's try again." Anko drew in another deep breath.
"GOOD MORNING CLASS!!!!!"
"GOOD MORNING ANKO!!!!!!!!!"
Anko smiled, satisfied. "That'll do. Anyway..."
As the class payed rapt attention to their teacher, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a flustered-looking young man attempting to walk into the class without catching Anko's attention. Notice the keyword ATTEMPTING.
The man silently creeped behind Anko, probably hoping he could make it to the deserted desk in the front row, right next to the window. He almost got there too. Unfortunately, Anko knew he was there from the beginning. As soon as his tush seated itself down, Anko punched him square in the face.
That's right, square. Her fist connected with his nose in such a way, that a sickening crack followed. It kinda reminded me of the time Sasuke chomped down on a whole chicken bone. The sound of his teeth crunching on the bone and breaking, sounded akin to the man's nose shattering.
"OH GAWG!!! SONUVABLEACH!!" That's how much his nose hurt. He couldn't even swear properly.
"That'll teach you for being late for the hundredth time in a row Obito." Anko said these words coldly, as she spun around to face the class.
There might just be hope for this class after all.
Anyway diary, mom's calling me down for Sassy's cookies. (sigh) I love the kid, but his cookies taste like sh-
Yours truly, Itachi.
(1)Reference to song "Special Fred". Or "Special Ed." ...Review?