"Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts!" Luffy and Usopp sang (or more accurately, bellowed) in unison, heads thrown back and voices filling the galley as they methodically rocked left and right on the table bench, arms thrown around each other's necks. "Mutilated monkey meat, little bitty birdie feet!"
Nami slammed down her magazine and tried, desperately, not to scream.
"Can't you two make a racket outside instead of in here?!" she snapped, interrupting the twelfth round of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts as performed by the now-infamous (at least in the galley of the Going Merry) Strawhat Duet.
"We're not making a racket, Nami," Luffy explained, in between verses. "We're singing!"
"Besides, didn't you tell us not to go outside in the storm?" Usopp added, before picking up where he had left off and consequently stumbling over the lyrics for a moment until he realigned his efforts with Luffy's.
Nami glowered out the porthole where the view was blocked with curtains of gray and sullen rain, pummeling the little caravel from every possible angle and with all its might.
"I will kill you both," the navigator said flatly to the boys across from her. They paid no heed to her words; only carried on the melody. "I'll strangle you with my bare hands!" she added, louder, and still they plowed on, enthusiastic and very off key. Nami threw up her hands in frustration and called over her shoulder to the swordsman asleep in the corner, "Zoro, do something!"
Zoro cracked open one eye and shifted his right arm, drawing his swords closer to his body on impulse. He surveyed the singing terrors blithely for a moment before letting his open eye slide shut and remarking, coolly, "I always heard it was little bloody birdie feet."
Usopp and Luffy paused, looked at Zoro, then at each other, and burst into song once more, this time with altered lyrics.
"ARGH," Nami screamed, somewhere in the middle of French fried eyeballs rolling in a pool of mud, before lunging across the table and making a grab for Usopp's throat.
The sniper jerked back a little too quickly and toppled to the floor, dragging Luffy down with him and effectively cutting off darn, I forgot my spoon at the second word.
"Now, if you know what's good for you," Nami snapped, looking under the table to glare at the tangled boy heap on the floor, "You'll shut up and find some way to entertain yourselves down there where I can't see you."
As soon as she sat up, the realization of her unfortunate phrasing came in the form of barely repressed snickers from somewhere in the vicinity of her feet.
"Careful," Zoro warned, smirking. "Dartboard-brow will throw a fit if you make a mess."
The snickers amplified, and Nami (who had given up blushing at boy humor when she was nine) simply let her head fall forward against the table with a muffled thunk and a noise of exasperation.
"Keep singing," she commanded in a defeated monotone.
The boys jumped up and resumed their song, even louder and more animated than before, if that were even possible. Nami propped her chin on the heel of her hand, drummed her fingers on the table top, and stared out at the rain as if silently willing it to go away and take the lunatics doing an improvised jig on the other side of the table with it.
It was about the time that Zoro started humming along under his breath that Nami lost it. She slammed her palms down on the table, stood up, and began to sing (or rather, to scream) "Rain, rain, go away, come again another day" at a level that rivaled that of the sniper and the captain.
"What the hell is going on in here?!" a figure in the doorway shouted. It was Sanji, back from securing the sail, and he slammed the door and ripped off his raincoat in one swift movement. When the boys and Nami failed to stop singing at his arrival, Sanji gritted his teeth and took the few steps necessary to get into position before launching a vicious kick at Luffy's head.
The captain went down, hitting the floor and pinning Usopp underneath him. Sanji stood over them and lit a cigarette, taking a long drag before blowing a curling stream of smoke down at them and icily announcing, "I will make mutilated monkey meat out of you if you don't stop singing that this instant."
This accomplished, the cook turned to Nami, who was still singing at the top of her lungs. "Nami-san? Are you okay?" he asked cautiously. The navigator stopped, mid-word, and blinked at Sanji.
"Oh," she said simply, and sat down. She smiled up at him brightly and said, in her sweetest voice, "I'm just fine, Sanji-kun, thank you for asking."
"Wonderful," Sanji replied, relaxing significantly, as his angel did not appear to be under any form of thought control or mental duress. "Can I get anything for yoUGH!"
His inquiry came out mangled due to the fact that Luffy had just wrapped a hand around his ankle and yanked him to the floor, causing a somewhat violent collision with the two other bodies already occupying said space. What he said next was something along the lines of "Why you! Let go of me, you stupid bastards! No, hey, that's my leg, you shitty moron, ow, hey, mmph!"
Nami blinked at the empty space that had previously contained a damp, blond chef for approximately three and a half seconds before bursting into a fit of giggles. When she was finished, she glanced under the table, giggled for a few more seconds, and then slipped out of her seat and crawled across.
Zoro patently refused to be awake for roughly thirty more seconds before relenting and opening his eyes. What he saw was enough to make him raise an eyebrow, sigh as though highly put upon, rest his swords against the barrel he had been napping next to, get up, and cross the room to join the, for lack of a better term, pile.
Quite some time later, Luffy raised his head and looked out the porthole. "Hey, the rain stopped!" he exclaimed, disentangling himself from the haphazard array of limbs and snatching up a few articles of clothing that may or may not have been his own before flinging open the galley door and racing out onto the deck.
Usopp glanced up from Nami's shoulder, blinking at the light streaming through the doorway, and moved Sanji's left arm and Zoro's right leg enough to stand up. He grabbed his overalls and ran after the captain.
"Luffy has my pants," Zoro remarked a moment later, lifting his head from Sanji's neck and glaring out the door. The cook laughed, and Zoro punched him in the side.
"Time flies when you're having fun," Nami said brightly, stretching, and rolled over to look for her blouse.